To All Newly Hired ICE Agents

[Coldwater]

SUCKERS

With trumps history of stiffing contractors and not paying employees did you really believe the grifter-in-chief had changed even playing with house money.

[Tadpole Raisin]

1. I read somewhere that they get a good bonus which they

keep even if the person is released later. I don’t know if it’s true but that would be a great incentive to pull someone out of their car or slam them to the ground.

It will be interesting later to see where those billions given to ICE went.

I wish they could mandate oversight with security cameras in the prisons. It would also be nice to stop them from disappearing people to torture prisons in another state.

White nationalists infiltrated police departments for decades. Probably why some police are laying low. They love this. Derek Chauvin would have signed up for ICE duty if he was still free. Lots of cops fired for excessive force already have. They will have to be weeded out in ‘29.

[TommyT139]

5. Prison guards are leaving in droves

... because the money is better, with no oversight for abuses.

[Tadpole Raisin]

9. Wow, I hadn't thought about that! I wonder how they will feel if they are indicted by a blue state

AG 5 years from now. You just know there will be people willing to spill the beans to avoid prison.

[TommyT139]

11. I think the key

...will be to access hiring & payroll records, before those get deleted.

[RockCreek]

24. Hackers, we need your help now and until this ends!

[Attilatheblond]

10. Joke will be on them when they decide to go work at ICE prisons when ICE hiring goes down, and it will soon.

Private-For-Profit ICE prisons won't pay that way

[TommyT139]

12. My understanding was that they are going to work

...as ICE agents, not concentration camp guards. The cosplay is more butch.

[Attilatheblond]

13. Yeah, I get that, but it seems likely a lot of them won't wanna deal with being sent to places far away & very cold

And guessing a lot of them won't manage to meet the too-minimal requirements of the daily ICE

[TommyT139]

14. Here it is:

https://www.propublica.org/article/ice-bop-federal-prisons-corrections-officers

"We’re Broken”: As Federal Prisons Run Low on Food and Toilet Paper, Corrections Officers Are Leaving in Droves for ICE

Many of the problems the agency is facing now are not new, but staff and prisoners fear an exodus of officers could make life behind bars even worse.

by Keri Blakinger
November 21, 2025, 5:30 am

[JokeHer]

18. Not to mention

So many states are saying no prison camps in our state!

[North Coast Lawyer]

17. 10K Signing Bonus

I believe they get a 10K signing bonus but if they quit they have to pay it back.

[Kid Berwyn]

2. In Dr. Dre official Compton voice:

“Suckers!”

[OMGWTF]

21. ICE just murdered someone in Compton, CA

[Kid Berwyn]

23. I think they tried. The Old "Car Rammed Agent" Routine

Immigration agent shoots at suspect during operation in South L.A.

*. Federal agents fired “defensive shots” at a suspect accused of ramming his car into law enforcement while attempting to flee an immigration operation.

*. The man was not injured and crashed his car in Willowbrook where he was taken into custody.
“It feels reckless,” said neighbor Miguel Carrillo. “There’s kids who walk to school here.”

*. A federal immigration agent shot at a suspect during a targeted operation in South L.A. on Wednesday morning, drawing a crowd of protesters to the shut-down street and intensifying safety concerns in the immigrant heavy community.

By Ruben Vives, Clara Harter and Brittny Mejia
Los Angeles Times, January 21, 2026

A federal agent opened fire at a man after he rammed federal law enforcement with his vehicle while attempting to evade arrest during an immigration operation in Compton, according to the Department of Homeland Security. The man was not wounded, but a U.S. Customs and Border Protection agent sustained unspecified injuries.

A federal agent opened fire at a man after he rammed federal law enforcement with his vehicle while attempting to evade arrest during an immigration operation in Compton, according to the Department of Homeland Security. The man was not wounded, but a U.S. Customs and Border Protection agent sustained unspecified injuries.

At 7:05 a.m., Homeland Security officers conducted an operation to apprehend William Eduardo Moran Carballo, a citizen of El Salvador who is accused of being in the U.S. illegally and “participating in a human smuggling operation,” according to a department spokesperson.

A federal agent walks past a bullet shattered window of a car involved in a shooting in Willowbrook.

In an attempt to flee, Carballo “weaponized his vehicle” and rammed law enforcement, who fired at Carballo in defense, the spokesperson said.

Continues…

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2026-01-21/shooting-incident-involving-border-patrol-agents-reported-in-willowbrook

Thank you for the heads-up! ICE is an unconstitutional secret police. It is imperative to see all the criminals in it are held to account and brought to justice.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

3. In the infinite words of W.C. Fields:

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

Pretty much describes todays ICEholes.

[RustyWheels]

4. Incorrect

Key payout structure: ( as per MS Copilot search )

Total amount: Advertised as up to $50,000, depending on position, location, and hiring authority.

Payment schedule: The bonus is split over three years, not paid all at once.

Retention requirement: Each installment is contingent on the employee remaining in good standing and completing required service periods.

Position‑specific terms: Exact installment amounts and timing can vary by role (e.g., Deportation Officer vs. special agent) and hiring announcement.

[Buns_of_Fire]

6. Sounds like there are enough "ifs" there to almost guarantee

that most of them will wind up royally hosed when all is said and done.

[ToxMarz]

7. The Trump Doctrine

[sop]

8. They could have used that $50K to pay their legal fees.

[Renew Deal]

15. ICE will likely be gone by then

And they will be fired either way

[North Coast Lawyer]

16. A Trump Never Pays His Debts

[eppur_se_muova]

19. Don't even ask about pensions.

But they could get "three hots and a cot" once convicted.

[MadameButterfly]

20. Is this true or satire?

[Coldwater]

22. Its a structured payment

so you don't get it all upfront

[Javaman]

25. aka the orange asshole is pulling a putin.

putin promises all sorts of bonuses to his troops. all hinged on victory. no victory no bonus.

these assholes don't get rich by helping people.