Denmark Offers Trump Ownership of Room in Assisted Living Facility in Greenland

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

DAVOS (The Borowitz Report)—In a much-praised resolution to a roiling diplomatic crisis, on Wednesday Denmark offered Donald J. Trump “full ownership” of a room in an assisted living facility in Greenland.

The deal was orchestrated by French President Emmanuel Macron and Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, who were seen high-fiving moments after Trump signed the admission form.

Speaking to reporters, Carney said that Trump’s new home was actually located in Iceland, not Greenland, but added, “We’re pretty sure he doesn’t know the difference.”

For his part, President Macron acknowledged that the agreement represented a compromise, noting, “Our first choice was an ice floe.”

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/denmark-offers-trump-ownership-of

[SheltieLover]

1. How about a prison cell?

[eppur_se_muova]

2. No fair ... should be in Gaza.

Last edited Thu Jan 22, 2026, 03:32 PM - Edit history (1)

And he should have to share w/Netanyahu

Polar pack ice would be a fair alternative. Just don't impose on the polar bears' elbow room.

[thought crime]

3. So glad I wasn't drinking my morning coffee when I read this.

[raccoon]

4. Good satire.

[IcyPeas]

5. And breakfast, lunch and dinner will be muktuk

Muktuk is whale skin and blubber. Often eaten raw.

[malaise]

6. Bwaaaah

😀