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On the demise of WormTongue (also known as Lindsey Graham)
An excellent comment at https://emptywheel.net/2026/01/29/lindsey-graham-defends-wormtongue/
April 1, 2032.
Oconee County officials confirmed the death last week of former Senator Lindsey Graham, one of the several die-hard senators who voted against conviction of President Trump in his impeachment trials. After leaving office, Trump was convicted on charges of bribery, extortion, felony campaign finance violations, election fraud, voter fraud, fraud, trust fund fraud, smuggling, forgery, sailing under false colors, looting, poaching, pillaging, brigandage, depravity, vandalism, impersonating a clergyman and conspiracy to sell illegal drugs in the Ukraine. In a sudden, unexpected but inevitable betrayal, Mr. Trump blamed his convictions on Mr. Graham, saying that Graham failure to more strongly support the President's incoherent, irrational and irrevocably inconsistent positions and statements led to Trump's conviction.
While he narrowly won re-election in 2026, he was quickly recalled when the enormity of the allegations against the Trump Administration became known. Against the advice of his advisors, Graham sought re-election to the Senate in 2028. His defense of the former Presidents was met with jeers, expletives, and rude noises and gestures. In a crowed primary field that consisted of the usual cranks, defrocked ministers, bigots, convicted fraudsters, gold bugs, self-proclaimed geniuses and certified whackos that make up a typical Republican Party field of candidates, Mr. Graham finished second to last. Brokenhearted, he retired and never held public office again and refused all interviews. Embittered at Trump's betrayals, shunned by polite society and by anyone with a shred of decency or humanity, he is said to have wandered the wilderness, pine barrens and swamps of his native South Carolina and the mountains and deserts of Arizona searching for the ghost of his old friend, John McCain. Dogs, cats and skunks avoided him, though he is thought to have attracted snakes, especially vipers. According to informed sources, at his death " a grey mist gathered, and rising slowly to a great height like smoke from a fire, as a pale shrouded figure loomed over the hill. For a moment is wavered, looking to the West, but out of the West came a cold wind, and it bent away and with a cold sigh dissolved into nothing."
When he heard of Graham's death, former President Trump requested a weekend pass to attend the funeral, but this was denied as he is a known flight risk. On his prior weekend pass, Mr. Trump sought but was denied political refuge in the Slovenian Embassy where his last ex-wife and son Barron are holed up. He had previously sought passage to Hungary where his other sons and daughter fled after Mr. Trump left office. Upon hearing of the denial of his request, Mr. Trump unintelligibly raved about a desire to see and old friend, a desire to spit on his grave, a large bowl of porridge, how an ungrateful nation deserve to be burnt to the ground for failing to acknowledge his genius and a bucket of fried chicken.
From his cell, J.D. Vance sent a letter of condolence. Karl Donitz, who briefly presided after the Trump/Pence Administration, released a letter thanking Mr. Graham for his support in the brief interregnum before democratic rule was restored.
At his request and to prevent his tomb from being desecrated, Mr. Graham was buried quietly in an unmarked grave. Local officials have asked us not to reveal the grave's location lest it serve as a gathering place for Neo-Nazi's, white supremacists, the KKK, Nancy Boys, and other ne'er-do-wells.
Oconee County officials confirmed the death last week of former Senator Lindsey Graham, one of the several die-hard senators who voted against conviction of President Trump in his impeachment trials. After leaving office, Trump was convicted on charges of bribery, extortion, felony campaign finance violations, election fraud, voter fraud, fraud, trust fund fraud, smuggling, forgery, sailing under false colors, looting, poaching, pillaging, brigandage, depravity, vandalism, impersonating a clergyman and conspiracy to sell illegal drugs in the Ukraine. In a sudden, unexpected but inevitable betrayal, Mr. Trump blamed his convictions on Mr. Graham, saying that Graham failure to more strongly support the President's incoherent, irrational and irrevocably inconsistent positions and statements led to Trump's conviction.
While he narrowly won re-election in 2026, he was quickly recalled when the enormity of the allegations against the Trump Administration became known. Against the advice of his advisors, Graham sought re-election to the Senate in 2028. His defense of the former Presidents was met with jeers, expletives, and rude noises and gestures. In a crowed primary field that consisted of the usual cranks, defrocked ministers, bigots, convicted fraudsters, gold bugs, self-proclaimed geniuses and certified whackos that make up a typical Republican Party field of candidates, Mr. Graham finished second to last. Brokenhearted, he retired and never held public office again and refused all interviews. Embittered at Trump's betrayals, shunned by polite society and by anyone with a shred of decency or humanity, he is said to have wandered the wilderness, pine barrens and swamps of his native South Carolina and the mountains and deserts of Arizona searching for the ghost of his old friend, John McCain. Dogs, cats and skunks avoided him, though he is thought to have attracted snakes, especially vipers. According to informed sources, at his death " a grey mist gathered, and rising slowly to a great height like smoke from a fire, as a pale shrouded figure loomed over the hill. For a moment is wavered, looking to the West, but out of the West came a cold wind, and it bent away and with a cold sigh dissolved into nothing."
When he heard of Graham's death, former President Trump requested a weekend pass to attend the funeral, but this was denied as he is a known flight risk. On his prior weekend pass, Mr. Trump sought but was denied political refuge in the Slovenian Embassy where his last ex-wife and son Barron are holed up. He had previously sought passage to Hungary where his other sons and daughter fled after Mr. Trump left office. Upon hearing of the denial of his request, Mr. Trump unintelligibly raved about a desire to see and old friend, a desire to spit on his grave, a large bowl of porridge, how an ungrateful nation deserve to be burnt to the ground for failing to acknowledge his genius and a bucket of fried chicken.
From his cell, J.D. Vance sent a letter of condolence. Karl Donitz, who briefly presided after the Trump/Pence Administration, released a letter thanking Mr. Graham for his support in the brief interregnum before democratic rule was restored.
At his request and to prevent his tomb from being desecrated, Mr. Graham was buried quietly in an unmarked grave. Local officials have asked us not to reveal the grave's location lest it serve as a gathering place for Neo-Nazi's, white supremacists, the KKK, Nancy Boys, and other ne'er-do-wells.