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WestMichRad

(3,059 posts)
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 12:54 PM 4 hrs ago

Winter Olympics 'penis-gate' sparks anti-doping concerns

Extraordinary questions have arisen over the prospect of athletes injecting acid into the penis, which would theoretically increase the suit sizes of ski-jumpers and improve aerodynamics.

Preliminary events are underway in Italy, where the 2026 Games will begin in earnest on Friday, and already there have been unusual concerns around the men’s ski jumping, which is due to start on Monday.

German publication Bild has raised the question of whether athletes might inject hyaluronic acid into their penises, in a bid to increase the size of their genitalia – with the wider aim of enhanced suit sizes to improve aerodynamics.
https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/winter-olympics/ski-jump-penis-injections-winter-olympics-2026-b2914655.html

Okay, I didn’t have this on my bingo card!


43 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Winter Olympics 'penis-gate' sparks anti-doping concerns (Original Post) WestMichRad 4 hrs ago OP
Hyaluronic Acid Penis is my Ramones cover band name. flvegan 4 hrs ago #1
... leftstreet 4 hrs ago #2
Injections in the penis are not painful if done correctly, I'm told. dickthegrouch 4 hrs ago #14
And is your hit song DevineAli 3 hrs ago #22
Huh. My, uh, friend's penis enlargement kit didn't even mention the improved ski jump aerodynamics. nt sl8 4 hrs ago #3
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Alliepoo 4 hrs ago #6
This is one of the... 2naSalit 4 hrs ago #4
Same here. The corruption at the IOC, the bs with the soviet judges niyad 1 hr ago #33
The Jamaican Olympics team is going to be all over this one. John1956PA 4 hrs ago #5
;-{)...... Goonch 4 hrs ago #7
This plan doesn't work for ALL Olympics events. Beartracks 4 hrs ago #8
Gives new meaning to the "hoist by his own petard" phrase. 3catwoman3 1 hr ago #35
One photo caption I saw read: "The Frenchman's intrusive baguette cost him a clearance." Beartracks 20 min ago #43
Heh, I'm thinking Disaffected 4 hrs ago #9
See #8 above. 3catwoman3 1 hr ago #36
Could be a boon for viewership underpants 4 hrs ago #10
How does a larger suit improve aerodynamics? quaint 4 hrs ago #11
Rate of descent Tasmanian Devil 3 hrs ago #18
I think that guy might have injected a little too much. sl8 3 hrs ago #20
Well, then why dont they just require everyone to wear the largest size standard cup thats available, Volaris 2 hrs ago #23
Turning into a wing Tasmanian Devil 2 hrs ago #24
"Dude! Impressive wing!" WestMichRad 1 hr ago #40
It would be good for snack storage. littlemissmartypants 1 hr ago #30
You did it - reminded me of this classic NewHendoLib 4 hrs ago #12
"That's not my bag, baby," Men's Olympic Ski Jumper Bristlecone 4 hrs ago #13
This message was self-deleted by its author sl8 4 hrs ago #15
AIIEEEE! DavidDvorkin 3 hrs ago #16
If you're relying on your penis to act as an aerodynamic wing, you're doing something wrong. PeaceWave 3 hrs ago #17
snicker!!! niyad 1 hr ago #28
Hyaluronic acid is a substance naturally found in the body jmowreader 3 hrs ago #19
It is in a great many personal care products as well. niyad 1 hr ago #26
!!! mwmisses4289 3 hrs ago #21
This is The Onion, yes??? PLEASE tell me this is The Onion. niyad 1 hr ago #25
"improve aerodynamics" - well, that seems counter-intuitive! UTUSN 1 hr ago #27
I guess if... littlemissmartypants 1 hr ago #29
... orangecrush 1 hr ago #31
I guess size does matter. MLAA 1 hr ago #32
Pablo Torre did a podcast chelsea0011 1 hr ago #34
Gives new meaning to the definition of "Aerodynamic Helmet" ToxMarz 1 hr ago #37
OK, here's my stupid question. ananda 1 hr ago #38
Just guessing, but... WestMichRad 1 hr ago #41
Take A Look At My Enormous Deep State Witch 1 hr ago #39
I do love barbershop quartet harmony. 3catwoman3 27 min ago #42

flvegan

(65,955 posts)
1. Hyaluronic Acid Penis is my Ramones cover band name.
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 12:57 PM
4 hrs ago

Good gravy, what will they think of/inject (ouch, no thanks) do next.

sl8

(17,083 posts)
3. Huh. My, uh, friend's penis enlargement kit didn't even mention the improved ski jump aerodynamics. nt
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 01:00 PM
4 hrs ago

2naSalit

(100,894 posts)
4. This is one of the...
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 01:02 PM
4 hrs ago

Last edited Thu Feb 5, 2026, 03:55 PM - Edit history (1)

Reasons why I no longer have any interest in the games. Everyone is so desperate to get the gold that they will resort to such tactics for some kind of gain.

I was done with them way back in the last century because of this business.

niyad

(130,399 posts)
33. Same here. The corruption at the IOC, the bs with the soviet judges
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 03:50 PM
1 hr ago

in skating, and so much more, including larry nasser. I have a personal grudge against the USOC for the bs they pulled (with politicians' help) on Colorado Springs, one that is reinforced every single time I see our tax dollars at waste with the headquarters, museum, and bridge. Ii liked many of the athletes I met, and drank with, but absolutely loathe the corrupt governing committees.

3catwoman3

(28,845 posts)
35. Gives new meaning to the "hoist by his own petard" phrase.
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 03:52 PM
1 hr ago

What a thing to be remembered for.

Beartracks

(14,452 posts)
43. One photo caption I saw read: "The Frenchman's intrusive baguette cost him a clearance."
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 05:10 PM
20 min ago


=============

quaint

(4,795 posts)
11. How does a larger suit improve aerodynamics?
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 01:20 PM
4 hrs ago

Seems like the opposite would be true. Comfort, another topic.

Tasmanian Devil

(73 posts)
18. Rate of descent
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 01:47 PM
3 hrs ago

From the article: "The tactic apparently made jumpers’ suits larger, thus reducing their rate of descent due to bigger wingspans"

Seems counter-intuitive, but then remember gliders and wing-suits:

sl8

(17,083 posts)
20. I think that guy might have injected a little too much.
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 02:04 PM
3 hrs ago

Seriously, though, that's a good explanation and visual aid.

Volaris

(11,493 posts)
23. Well, then why dont they just require everyone to wear the largest size standard cup thats available,
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 02:45 PM
2 hrs ago

And equal out the 'handicap'?
Or is that solution overly simple?

Tasmanian Devil

(73 posts)
24. Turning into a wing
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 03:28 PM
2 hrs ago

Indeed, I guess the sport mostly consists of your ability to conform to a 'wing' to float down the hill and catch as much air as possible. There's a tradeoff between wanting minimal air resistance during the slide down the ramp and then maximum wing-shape once you're airborne.

I wonder if the physics are understood enough to come up with a fair handicap system. To normalize the distance based on height/weight .. maybe profile

Sure looks like fun! And maybe something to try once my dementia has increased enough to allow me to believe I'd survive!

Response to WestMichRad (Original post)

PeaceWave

(2,822 posts)
17. If you're relying on your penis to act as an aerodynamic wing, you're doing something wrong.
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 01:46 PM
3 hrs ago

jmowreader

(52,990 posts)
19. Hyaluronic acid is a substance naturally found in the body
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 01:52 PM
3 hrs ago

It's the lubricant for your joints. It's also the stuff dermatologists use for injectable fillers. So, you can't really test for it.

chelsea0011

(10,213 posts)
34. Pablo Torre did a podcast
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 03:52 PM
1 hr ago

about Norwegian ski jumpers tampering with crotch area by sewing an added layer of fabric which would expand and create more aerodynamics for longer distances. This happened recently during European World Championships. Big embarrassment for country who defines ski jumping. Maybe this is the new cheat.

WestMichRad

(3,059 posts)
41. Just guessing, but...
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 04:04 PM
1 hr ago

There’s probably a rule that the suit must be skin tight. Or it’s not aerodynamically efficient to have a baggy suit.
But I readily admit that I don’t get it.

3catwoman3

(28,845 posts)
42. I do love barbershop quartet harmony.
Thu Feb 5, 2026, 05:02 PM
27 min ago

This is a new one on me.

How did you come across this little gem?

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