The Borowitz Report-Washington Post Subscribers Cancel En Masse After Bezos Names Melania Editor

[LetMyPeopleVote]

Washington Post Subscribers Cancel En Masse After Bezos Names Melania Editor
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

— Susanbeth5781 (@susanpatrick1.bsky.social) 2026-02-06T00:34:57.157Z

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/washington-post-subscribers-cancel

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The dwindling number of people who still subscribe to the Washington Post plummeted even further on Thursday after owner Jeff Bezos named Melania Trump the paper’s new editor-in-chief.

Calling the hiring of the First Lady “not a bribe,” Bezos said, “We wanted to find someone who wouldn’t be tainted by any experience in journalism, and Bari Weiss was already taken.”

Mrs. Trump will make history as the first editor of a major US paper with a 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, industry experts said.

In her first official act, Melania changed the Post’s slogan to “Democracy in Darkness Be Best.”

[bif]

1. My god! She can barely speak English!