Spurious News: Bad Bunny to introduce new song at Super Bowl LX halftime show!
SANTA CLARA, CALIF (Spurious News Network) -- At the highly-anticipated and highly-controversial Super Bowl LX halftime show, which will happen today, headliner Bad Bunny will introduce an all-new song.
"I wrote it in honor of President Trump," said Bad Bunny. "It's called 'Chinga tu Madre, Pendejo Naranja.' In English, that means 'go fuck your mother, orange asshole.' I just wrote it last night. Everyone in the audience will love it."
Bad Bunny played a demo of the song he had stored on his phone. It's a great song. It's got an infectious beat, and the lyrics talk about ICE, Trump tearing down the White House and renaming the Kennedy Center, and all of the friends Trump has who are in the Epstein files. "I don't think I'm going to release this on a record," said Bad Bunny. "Anyone who wants to hear it will just have to go to YouTube. I'll call it a public service."
The song also mentions Erika Kirk, professional widow and the current leader of the late Charlie Kirk's organization Turning Point USA. "It says, 'Erika, do you seriously think anyone wants to listen to the losers you hired to go up against my show?' I mean, seriously dude - three of those four people I've never even heard of before now, and I work in the music industry. And as for Kid Rock, he's such a sleaze Charlie's spinning in his grave over him being on the bill."
No official comment has come from the White House, but the Publix supermarket on Palm Beach reports that they have run out of ketchup. According to the store manager, "that shouldn't have happened; we ordered a whole truckload of it for today."
