So I just got this email from an in-law:

[Ocelot II]

Subject line: "Glad i left 26 yrs ago"
"What a shit hole, Mn has become. A real shame," with links to racist and false YouTube videos about Somalis.

I haven't spoken to this nasty old bat in those 26 years since she moved to Arkansas, and I don't know why she sent me this crap. She said years ago that she moved to AR to get away from high taxes and black people. What upsets me that this rhymes-with-witch is married to an actual relative with whom I am on good terms, but who seems to be the original source of the YouTube links. My blood pressure went through the roof when I read it and my first impulse to respond with a comment like "I'm glad you left, too," with links to US News and Wallet Hub ranking the states (MN #4 vs. AR #44, https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/rankings, and MN #5 vs. AR #48, https://wallethub.com/edu/best-states-to-live-in/62617), but I suspect that said nasty old bat is trying to stir the pot. I am deeply disappointed in the relative and angry at his nasty old bat wife but life is too short; I know that mine isn't the shit hole state, and my Somali neighbors are better people than she is. I deleted the email.

[Norrrm]

1. She got away from black people by moving to Arkansas?

Not very observant, is she?

[Ocelot II]

2. She's in the northern part of the state in a county that's about 1% minority.

[Norrrm]

39. Sundown town, eh?

[Walleye]

3. Fraud is a crime and should be handled in a court of law

Not by some rando right wing Internet influencer. These gullible people will believe anything.

[Ocelot II]

5. The fraud in question has been handled in court and a bunch of people

were convicted. The ringleader of the fraud scheme is a White woman.

[Walleye]

10. Well, it's stupid and Republican to blame all Somali refugees for crimes of a few

And if crime is to be blamed on the governor, Greg Abbott has a lot to answer for

[Scruffy1]

58. Abbott spent 11 billion on his border scam.

The last act of the last session of the Texas Legislature was to not audit it.

[Walleye]

60. United States I grew up and doesn't use barbed wire at the border to torture children looking for refugee statu

[CrispyQ]

4. Those are two good facts. I'd send it.

Maybe minus the "I'm glad you left, too," comment.

[Ocelot II]

7. I'm ignoring it, which will probably bug her more than any response I could provide.

There's no convincing people like that with actual facts.

[Randomthought]

23. Remember George Bernard Shaw

"Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Delete and ignore

[Katinfl]

40. You can't fix stupid.

[UpInArms]

6. Dear Ocelot

With them, it is always projection

That is their shithole state, whether where they live or how they think, not yours

[pandr32]

8. Sorry, but your response was appropriate.

You could sign off with: "I look forward to not hearing from you and your vile nonsense again."
I'll bet most of us (including myself) have at least one relative or old friend who has taken a dark turn so I understand how it affects you. If someone like your two ever have a light bulb turn on in their heads/hearts I'm sure they will reach out to those who once mattered.

[Ocelot II]

9. My final response was no response at all except to delete the email.

I'm sure she wanted to get a rise out of me and I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. I'm just deeply disappointed in my relative who was crazy enough to marry her.

[irisblue]

12. Being a void to her vindictive posts is a good choice IMO

[Ocelot II]

14. Sometimes silence is the very best Fuck You.

[irisblue]

20. You consider creating a file to transfer her hate screeds to?

Just in case your blood relative smartens up?

[Ocelot II]

21. Not worth the effort. He's probably lost now too.

[pandr32]

13. I'm sorry for your disappointment.

I hope you have other people who give you lift in your life. We also have this wonderful community.

[niyad]

16. The best choice!

[Dear_Prudence]

32. Based on my own life,

It is possible that your relative was unaware of the depth of her vile views when he married her. Or maybe she has become more vile over the years. Or they have a bond based on her cooking, sports, horse riding, or whatever. My own husband is not hateful, but he is deep into conspiracy crap, so we don't talk politics. He is highly educated, but irritable and not persuadable. Some 46 years ago, I never ssked him "Who shot Kennedy?" Back then, it was most important to me that he loved animals. He still does. So sometimes I share DU pet forum items with him, and he responds positively to those posts. I never ever share other DU content. Maybe your relative is similarly situated. I agree with your non-response to her ugly email. She is trying to stab you with her hat pin, but you have wisely remained out of her reach.

[popsdenver]

33. LOL

I would have said: Remember What Trump said repeatedly, in 2024: "I LOVE THE UN-EDUCATED"........

[blue_jay]

56. Good one

[Ilsa]

35. If she ever asks you if you read the email, tell it it's probably in your Spam folder. nt

[Katinfl]

41. You absolutely did the right thing.

I had a family member try to engage me in a conversation I had no intention of getting into on FB. He is on the same side politically but then he got into religion (he’s an atheist, nothing wrong with that) and said I should be ashamed of my religion. That did it. I did not respond, just let him rant. He took down the thread the next day. No more contact.

[BWdem4life]

11. Yes, don't feed the trolls

even if you know them.

[Ocelot II]

15. The trolls that should be fed the least are the ones you know.

[niyad]

17. Awwww, can't we feed them to the alligators? or to whatever lives in the bayous?

[AverageOldGuy]

18. Forget about it

Don't reply. Remove her comment if you can.

When you wrestle with a pig, nothing is solved, you get very dirty, and the pig just loves it.

[Ocelot II]

22. I've done exactly that. This mean old troll isn't getting fed.

[flashman13]

19. My advice in these situations is always - don't engage. Hit delete and go about your day.

[Ocelot II]

28. I did.

I'm petting a cat to settle my blood pressure.

[Quanto Magnus]

24. Wouldn't a good response be

"Awwwww.... Bless your heart!"

Isn't that supposed to be some slight in the eyes of the fascists?

[mn9driver]

25. I have one like that.

We don’t communicate unless they are especially riled up by some
nasty right wing, racially tinged agitprop.

There is something about Race that is irresistible to these folks. It shuts down all of their critical thinking.

[617Blue]

26. DO NOT RESPOND. If you respond she wins.

[Ocelot II]

27. I did not respond, for exactly that reason.

You see crap like that and you want to slap them down but you're just feeding a troll. The best fuck you is total silence.

[viva la]

29. She should check the relative standard of living and education levels of Arkansas. vs MN

But of course, none of that matters to her.

[Clouds Passing]

30. Delete is your friend.

[Escurumbele]

31. I used to think that not responding to people like that was the correct thing to do, you know, the higher road but

I don't think that anymore. What I would have done in that case is to respond how you were planning to "I am glad you left too.", which in a way is polite, not abusive, but it will eat her up, and the best thing later is to delete all her future emails, so she is going to be left with your last comment, and bullies do not like that.

Anyway, one must do what our conscience, our instinct and feelings at the time tell us to do. You are a good person.

[mdbl]

34. It's really difficult to hear such stupidity from people you respected

That's why I don't talk to them anymore. I don't want to feel bad all day.

[relayerbob]

36. Afraid I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself

I wouldn't put forth the effort for the links, but the "I'm glad you left, too" part .... think I might have l blasted it out. Good self-control.

[AltairIV]

37. Smart move.

You did the right thing and just deleting it.

[Maraya1969]

38. There is no harm in sending her factual information like the rankings of MN vrs AR. I think we should be educating

these people. They obviously need it.

[Ocelot II]

43. Waste of time.

She's trolling, and the reason has nothing to do with facts. She wants me to feel defensive. Knowing how she has behaved in the past she just wants me to feel upset and angry. I refuse to engage.

[Maraya1969]

44. The GOP doesn't say things like, "It's a waste of time" and that is one of the reasons they keep their talking points.

I don't believe that a person who is trying to appear superior will not be affected by news that their state is at the bottom of the barrel. I've watched people be embarrassed by information about the groups they belong to that they think are so superior find out that they are not that at all.

That and why the Hell does the GOP continue to win when there is so much evidence that they are the losers? Because they stick together with their idiocy.

[Ocelot II]

45. This isn't political, it's personal and has nothing to do with the GOP's methods.

It's a person who's trying to upset me solely for personal reasons by trolling me with hateful political messages that she knows I would find offensive. I'm sure she knows Arkansas is ranked at the bottom but she doesn't care because she has enough money to live well. I do not feed trolls.

[KT2000]

42. Reply with facts

they hate that, then block her.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

46. remind your in-laws of the facts.

Red stares lag behind blue states in nearly all metrics.

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2026/3/4/2371634/-Watch-Tim-Walz-school-the-worst-of-the-worst-GOP-bigots?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=top_news_slot_1&pm_medium=web

[waterwatcher123]

47. My grandparents, parents and family have lived in MN for their entire lives (it is a well run state with decent people).

My suggestion would be to find that clip of Walz where he mentions people minding their own dam business and send it without comment. She might have an epiphany that it is the same message many of us used to get from our parents.

I used to work in state government trying to conjure up ways to get people to protect streams, lakes, rivers, and wetlands. It works in MN because we have always had this "we are all in the same boat" ethic due to the harsh weather and settlement patterns. The state works and continues to be successful economically largely because we believe in social capital (the sum is greater than the individual parts). If one looks, you can see evidence of it on the streets of Minneapolis and in the number of cooperatives and nonprofit organizations in the state (much higher than any neighboring state).

[OldBaldy1701E]

48. Not responding was the correct choice.

If I had done so, it would have been to print the ROFL emoji over and over and over... maybe with the crazy one interspersed here and there for good measure.

But, that would have been all.

[debsy]

49. My MIL used to send crap like that.

I would always sent fact checks from snopes and the like then got tired of the garbage. I told her (with everyone else who was on her thread) to stop sending me the emails because they were so vile and completely false. The only time I’ve spoken to her since was when my husband was visiting her for her 90th and I said hello. That was the extent of the conversation and I’m fine with it!😂

[HeartsCanHope]

50. I'm sorry this happened to you.

It's always hard when someone you care about disappoints you. Your response was the correct one,

to not give them the satisfaction they are wanting from causing you pain. Silence is a powerful tool

when dealing with abusers.

They don't deserve you, my friend! Sending you love, light, and

[FakeNoose]

51. My suggestion is that you should ignore this obvious provocation

This is someone you have no reason to interact with, and she's trying to provoke a fight for her own amusement. (or maybe worse) Don't fall for this, just let it go.

Maybe even think about changing your email address to something she'll never discover. You're bigger than this. And after all, it could just as easily be some kind of awful spam from rightwing trolls.

[Ocelot II]

53. Exactly. I haven't actually seen her or spoken with her in many years, since she left the state,

but when she still lived in the area she was inexplicably hostile toward me when I did see her. Since she and her husband, my actual relative, moved away, the only communications directly from her have been an annual Christmas email which is always a collection of photos of their travels, humblebragging about her acts of philanthropy, and little right-wing political digs. She's a textbook narcissist. I believe it's her way of trying to make me envy her relative wealth, which I do not. I never write back. I don't initiate communication. If you send someone material you know they are likely to find offensive and insulting, obviously you're intending to offend and insult them. Why she is doing this is still beyond me, but I won't respond and I won't change my email address on account of an elderly troll.

[Aussie105]

52. That email?

Consider it a case of someone whose moral compass and insight have dwindled with advancing age.

It's also a 'do you not agree?' request.
She has probably sent the same to others.

Don't bother answering.

[calimary]

54. Hey, Ocelot II, you're in better company right here.

Many friends, supporters, and sympathizers ready to comfort and offer solidarity with you.

Sometimes it can be helpful to keep that in mind. Moral support, and all that.

[Aussie105]

55. Silence speaks a thousand words to someone who seeks affirmation.

It is a very powerful weapon.

And very flexible in its application.

I use it when my younger relatives get too demanding - about money and getting some for free, mostly.

[Joinfortmill]

57. The silence will probably drive them nuts. We're in tough times.

[Arazi]

59. But you must invite them for Christmas and endure their insults

MAGAt friends and family are too precious to lose over politics doncha know. Just ignore their rants/deadnaming/insults/rudeness/propaganda etc.

Thus speaketh the DU scolds…

[appleannie1]

61. Sometimes ignorring people speaks louder than words. It says "you're not worthy of my attention".

My brother-in-law is the only person I have banned from sending me emails. My sister called and asked why. I simply stated "I don't allow hate in my life". Nuff said.

[Ocelot II]

62. And there's nothing more annoying to a troll than being ignored.

[SpankMe]

63. FWIW, my son just bought a house in the Minneapolis area and decided to settle there

He moved to Mineapolis over a year ago for his new job since his company's training center is there. When the training was complete and he started working, he saw that MN was a good place and decided to stay.

He has experienced all of the stuff that RW'ers bloviate about (Somalis and such) and resoned that it's all bullshit and that MN - and the Mineapolis area - are pretty well run.

The fact that he's a left-leaner like me helps. But, MN and the twin cities have a good reputation among non-RW'ers. Hopefully, it will attract more people like my son and become Republican-proof for a generation or two.

[MontanaMama]

64. Dang. It's so disheartening when friends and family

pull this garbage. I’m sorry.
I had an uncle who did this same thing. As you said above, sometimes it’s best to ignore these things. They’re looking for a reaction from you. Other times it requires a response. You won’t change her mind, that’s for sure. I can remember my uncle sending me an email singing the praises of Ben Carson, I responded with “you’ve apparently forgotten who I am! Enjoy your day.” He never sent me an email like that again.