Not sure if this is where I post this, but here goes:

[MarineCombatEngineer]

Last edited Mon Mar 16, 2026, 10:32 AM - Edit history (2)

I know that I said that after my life long wife passed I would never date again because I would be comparing any women to my late wife, but, I've met a woman and we have a date this coming Sat., she lost her husband 3 years ago to cancer and we got to talking and we seemed to click, funny thing is that she asked me out, not the other way around and I'm looking forward to this Sat.

It's been 50+ years since I last dated and I'm clueless on dating in this day and age, my children and grandchildren have been giving me dating advice and it's far, far different from the last time I dated.

Wish me luck everyone.

[NoRethugFriends]

1. Just be yourself is the best advice.

[question everything]

40. Quoting a character in a book: be yourself, everyone else is taken.

[Mira]

137. I LOVE that

[Danmel]

2. Good luck!

I hope everything goes the way you want.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. NoRethugFriends is absolutely right! Be yourself. And that includes be honest.

I hope the two of you will have a lovely time!

[MarineCombatEngineer]

4. Thank you,

I plan to be up front and honest with her, there's just something about her that...well, I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I feel it in my heart.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. That's the ticket! And by the way, Congrats on your recent Milestone: 18000 posts! ...n/t

[hurl]

5. Best of luck!

After my mid-life divorce, I expected to die alone in my very red and religious area. Despite the odds, I somehow got once-in-a-lifetime lucky yet again. There is hope if you're willing to be patient.

[LoisB]

7. I hope you have a wonderful date and you both enjoy each other's company.

[vanessa_ca]

8. wishing you much luck! -eom

[Eko]

9. Good luck man.

[TygrBright]

10. Good luck! Hope you have an enjoyable experience. n/t

[LuckyCharms]

11. Don't think of it as a date!

Just two people talking, getting to know each other.

Good wishes to you, MCE!

[sheshe2]

12. Just relax and be yourself.

She will luv ya, we all do.

[MIButterfly]

13. Good luck, MarineCombatEngineer.

I hope it goes well. Like others before me have said, just be yourself and have a good time.

[Maru Kitteh]

14. Everything you just said . . . tell her that. Just, tell her.

Trust me on this. And good luck, I’m happy for you! You got this.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

15. Any dating advice I can get is greatly appreciated.

Thank you!!

[Nixie]

16. How fun! It sounds like great beginnings. My 88-yr-old mom has an 89-year-old

boyfriend! He’s 90 in just a few weeks. He approached her while she was out walking at the outdoor mall by a lake and they sat and watched the ducks and talked. They sparked so they met the same place a week later. And off it went from there.

They both still drive. He’s in great shape, some medical issues, but great for almost 90. Both widowed, of course.

Sounds like a spark for you, too. It can happen at any age! Enjoy your time.

[malaise]

24. How sweet

😀

[Cha]

104. ".. They sparked.. " That Spark is so important...

and rare... Good on your Mom and her boyfriend, Nixie!

[Nixie]

138. Hi Cha! ❤️. Yes, it's been a fun thing to see develop.

They keep planning lots of things together that they’ve never done, which is cool as long as they don’t over do it.

Mahalo Cha!

[Cha]

139. Aww Nixie ☮️💜

Inspiring! How wonderful fr your Mom.. I imagine his family feels the same.

[KT2000]

17. Wish you luck

but I have no clue how dating works anymore.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

19. Apparently, according to my children and grandchildren,

neither do I.
Back when I first met my wife, it was a given that the man asked the girl out, now, it's totally different, not in a bad way, just...different.

[Jack Valentino]

50. This reminds me of a Patricia Neal line from the WW2 movie 'In Harm's Way'--

Paraphrased she said
'After a certain age men tend to avoid making sudden moves where women are concerned. The women have to do the sudden moving, or everyone stands still until it's too late.'

Yes, it's quite all right now for a woman to ask a man out...

As for any other advice given by your children or grandchildren about 'dating',
I have doubts about whether it would aptly apply to you and your date---
presuming she is closer in age to you than she is to them,
she would probably be able to relate better to your 'old-school' dating traditions...

One thing they *might* tell you is that if it goes well, and you want to see her again,
don't wait too long to call her or at least text her--- not more than 2 days, IMHO.
(and if you had a good time, it wouldn't be out of line to text her and tell her so the next day,
or even phone her if you're comfortable with that.)

Good luck, I hope you enjoy it!


You know, my father was in the same situation after my mother died, when he was 80 years old---
and a few years after that, he reconnected with a girl he knew from high school,
and they had dated before he got together with my mother, in their teens!
They became boyfriend and girlfriend for quite a few years, in their 80s!

[GenThePerservering]

136. Not man and 'girl' anymore. nt

[Srkdqltr]

18. Relax, smile just be yourself. Things will go as they should.

[calimary]

20. Wishing you good luck and a fine time, this weekend!

Leave any expectations behind and just have a nice time together.

And don’t worry if you’re feeling a little bit rusty about these things. You’re both in the same boat, so you already have a lot in common!

[Enter stage left]

21. If you can make her consistently laugh, you're 75% there!

[malaise]

22. Have a wonderful time

You are alive so live - ignore the kids and grandkids - just be you.

[surfered]

23. Good luck! Both of you deserve happiness and not to be alone. My unasked for advice, be yourself.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

28. Oh, don't kid yourseld, I am asking for advice.

[Attilatheblond]

94. My 2 cents: you are a bright, well rounded chap. Think of it as an opportunity to make a friend

Less pressure, more reality.

That's what I was looking for after working on my self/growing for a few years after a heartbreaking divorce.

Looking for a friend. Found one who turned out to be a soul mate and the love of my life.

Look for a friend and let things run a comfortable, natural course.

You deserve friends, MCE, and maybe a new friend might grow into a surprise garden.

Be gentle... with yourself. You are a wise man, and kind, I think. That and your sense of humor will make you a good friend for a woman. And from there, maybe you get to learn to dance again.

It happens. If not now, well, everything is a learning experience. Just relax. You got this!

[Skittles]

25. "I think be yourself is the worst advice you can give most people"

OK, maybe just me

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

[Jack Valentino]

54. Only if one is actually an 'asshole', and is trying to hide that fact from coming out

until about six months later---- would not be bad advice to 'be yourself' which would be the most honest---

Of course we would all try to be the best version of ourselves---!

[canetoad]

26. Myself and, indeed, all of GD

If not DU will be waiting for a full report.
Have a great time MCE.

[Grumpy Old Guy]

27. Good luck!

You deserve to be happy!

[mountain grammy]

29. Have a good time!

You deserve it

[blm]

30. 💐🤞🏽

[Figarosmom]

31. Remember that she is in the same

Position as you. She's not of " this day and age" either and is looking forward to a date like she is used to have too.

[FemDemERA]

32. Have fun!!

and I just have to add, I think it was the perfect place as this was the most uplifting post I read in the GD forum today

[Dan]

33. Well,

Be sure she has birth control pills

Seriously , good luck to both of you.

[Jack Valentino]

59. REAL MEN take responsibility for birth control upon THEMSELVES,

and don't try to pass it off on their woman!!!

(I always did when I was young, and never created any unplanned pregnancies--
so far as I know!)

(although in this specific case, it may well be a 'moot point')

[Dan]

75. Good point

[Totally Tunsie]

34. That sounds delightful!

Hope you have wonderful evening. You obviously hit it off, so just pick up where you left off in your congenial meeting.

Is she a DUer?

[MarineCombatEngineer]

67. No, she's never heard of DU and she has zero interest in social media. nt

[BeneteauBum]

35. Relax and enjoy yourself!

Peace ☮️

[FakeNoose]

36. My advice (as a woman in my later years) is try to keep your expectations down to a minimum

It's never going to be perfect, but you already knew that.

Just try not to expect too much and maybe you'll end up being pleasantly surprised.

Good luck MCE!

[Deuxcents]

37. This is the sweetest post in a long time! Love that your kids and grandkids are in on it, too!

You’ll naturally be a tad nervous but it seems you’ve overcome the first bump in the road so just enjoy the ride to wherever your new friendship takes you. I’m so happy for you 😊

[JMCKUSICK]

38. How wonderful for you MCE, dare to hope, dare to dream, and dare to try.

[skypilot]

39. I'm curious.

What kind of advice are you getting from the young'uns?

[MarineCombatEngineer]

69. Go in 2 different cars, split the check if she's amendable and have an exit strategy if needed.

To me, that seems kinda extreme, but that's just my old fashioned way.

[HighFired49]

85. Seems a little extreme to me, too

You and I are about the same age, so I have a suggestion. Ask her if she would like for you to pick her up, or whether she would like to meet you for the date, and ask her if you can pay for her dinner, if that's part of the date. It never hurts to ask. That way you don't run the chance of seeming pushy, or overbearing. GOOD LUCK!!!

[MarineCombatEngineer]

86. Very good advice, and like I told my daughter and granddaughters,

let me do this my way and if it works, it works, if not.................

[AloeVera]

41. Best of luck MCE!

Very exciting for you! Don't get too worked up, try to relax and just have fun. If it's meant to be, it will happen. And who knows, soon you might be giving dating advice to the rest of us!

[MarineCombatEngineer]

71. Thank you AloeVera,

that means alot to me.

[RussBLib]

42. Good luck! My best advice (not that you asked) is

…don’t be weird.

At ease, soldier.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

73. Soldier? SOLDIER?

How dare you call a Marine a Soldier.
Of course I'm just kidding.
No plans on being weird.

[hamsterjill]

43. Haven't you watched the "American President" yet?

Lucy's advice to her father when he's going on a date with Sidney Ellen Wade is "Compliment her shoes. Girls like that."

Seriously - relax and be your own charming self. I think it's awesome that she asked you out. Good for her!

Wishing you a fun and enjoyable evening, and if it's meant to be - then wishing you whatever comes next as long as it's happiness inspired!!!

[FHRRK1]

56. My wife tells me woman judge on men's shoes also

So MCE, put a good shine on the shoes and clean behind your ears!

Since I haven’t been on a date since the 80s, I got nothing else to offer.

The clean behind the ears came from a TikTok video I saw last week. There was a list of seven, can only remember the ears and possibly use just a dab of cologne if any.

I think everything else is standard, hold the door open, treat service staff nicely, basically stuff we learned in our first year of dating.

[Jack Valentino]

57. OMG--- no wonder I get no invitations---!

'After all, how often do you look at a man's shoes?" ~ The Shawshank Redemption

[jfz9580m]

44. All the best

I wish you all the best. My ex and I split up because I came rather late to the realization that I was a frustrated maternal type (upto just 1 kid) and when my ex just nixed the idea, I realized one’s subconscious mind has its own operation in the background and while I always knew I could not balance a stem job with a kid with my talent and skill level and I would never give up my job, I had unconsciously married him still factoring in what a good dad he would have been. After that..these days I finally pay more attention to my subconscious mind. We got amicably divorced and still talk every day.
He is pretty much the only person I ever seriously dated.

It is far from dating and more a Mulder-Scully type of professional relationship (which our tacky former employer would be unable to comprehend, being used to those Si Valley perverts more than natural scientists).

But I asked a male scientist I met in 2011 (well after my ex husband and I had decided to split up and were merely delaying the final wrench) over email (cced to our stupid admin and my mentor) to get back in touch with me as I am preparing to file malpractice and misconduct allegations against the school. And want to talk to him and give him an in person or over Zoom headsup so those idiots don’t yet again try to shift blame using their pathetic corporate strategies. But they are awful and would use stupid strategies at a time when selective “kobayashi maru” is the way forward.

A less positive story than yours MarineCombatEngineer, but that is how Ol’jfz9580m rolls .

How is your granddaughter? Did she end up finishing her first job? Those vehicles are scary to drive. I never liked driving much even in our old Maruti Suzuki I think it was. It is a small car. But the streets where I live in India are pretty narrow and difficult to navigate even when thankfully desolate. So to her.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

76. She finished her first solo with no problems at all,

she's now home on her 34 hour reset and getting ready to head out on her second solo run.

[MustLoveBeagles]

45. Good luck on your date

Just be yourself and everything will fall into place.

[BurnDoubt]

46. Good On You!!!!

There must be so much good in you to have been married for so long.
I'm sure she does too.
Share that. That's what got you here.
I'm wishing you both the Best.

[COL Mustard]

47. OOHRAH!!!

Just relax and have a good time!

And by the way, I saw a car this morning with a tag that said “2x JRHDZ”. I almost ran off the road!

[Takket]

48. life is short. do what makes you happy

your first wife would not want you to be alone on her account......

have fun!

[Irish_Dem]

49. You will do fine MCE!

I am wishing you good luck and have a wonderful time!
I am so happy for you!

[usedtobedemgurl]

51. Good luck.

You have got this.

[Lifeafter70]

52. Relax and enjoy the evening

Almost forgot good luck

[highplainsdem]

53. You've already had the good luck to meet her. I'm wishing you more. Have a great time!

[UTUSN]

55. First, anywhere you post is perfect. Go with the gut and with everybody wishing you well. Luck.

[maspaha]

58. My advice...since you asked...

Be YOU!

And be open to love again, but don’t rush in.

[Bayard]

60. Did you determine if she's a Dem, or not?

If she is, you'll have plenty to talk about. If not, you'll have plenty to talk about too, but there probably won't be a second date.


Are you having dinner together?

[MarineCombatEngineer]

80. She's a dedicated Dem and, yes, we're having dinner together. nt

[Bayard]

119. She sounds like a keeper!

[Marie Marie]

61. You are a DU-er - what's not to like? Your head must be screwed on right and she will

find you irresistible.

[Joinfortmill]

62. Very happy for you. Just be you.

[ColoringFool]

63. Be In The Moment, Not Past, Not Future. 👍🤞

[Jack Valentino]

64. I'm JEALOUS !!! I DON'T have a date for this weekend....

or any weekend....

but I'm past the age 'where men make sudden moves with women'...!


Good luck, I hope it goes well.

[AverageOldGuy]

65. Be yourself

Be polite -- open doors for her; pull out her chair at the table; help her on/off with her coat.
Don't dominate the conversation; ask her about herself.

I'm an old soldier. I've known a lot of Marines and everyone was a gentleman . . . well, maybe except for . . . but that's another story.

I'm happy for both of you.

[mr715]

66. Have fun, be real

Good luck, you won't need it.

[Gore1FL]

68. Good luck.

My ex-wife convinced me that single-life was superior; I have few regrets.

Others prefer company, and I appreciate that some people can do that.

[kairos12]

70. In the book of life

2nd Chapters are real. Best to you. This comes from a man who lost his wife of 40 years 3 years ago.

[angrychair]

72. Best of luck MCE

Don't stress and be yourself

[ZDU]

74. Good luck! 🍀

[Bettie]

77. Just be yourself and have fun

you'll do fine.

[LudwigPastorius]

78. I'll pass along my dad's dating advice:

Make sure you compliment her...something like, "You don't sweat much for a big girl".

[MarineCombatEngineer]

81. LOL.

You now owe me a new keyboard, I laughed so hard I spit all over my keyboard and shorted it out.
Thanks for nothing.

[Beacool]

79. Like others have said, be yourself.

Relax and have fun. A sense of humor goes a long way. Just go with the flow and have a good time. The worst that can happen is that you may make a new friend.

Good luck!!!

[c-rational]

82. MarneCombatEngineer - you got this. Reading down this thread has left me in smiles and tears.

On the seond date you can actually show her the thread, Be yourself and enjoy. Best.

[Permanut]

83. This whole thread is so damn cool.

We want a followup on this story.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

87. And you will get it.

I meant to say more, but that would seem to be a bit personal.

[niyad]

84. Not wishing you luck. I am wishing you a wonderful evening as you

begin this next chapter in your life. May it be a great one. You deserve it, my friend.

We will, of course, expect a FULL report!!

[MarineCombatEngineer]

88. Thank you and I will give a full report, up to a certain point.

[niyad]

89. Well, naturally. You are, after all, a gentleman! I guess that means no videos???

[MarineCombatEngineer]

91. LOL, no, no videos or...................... nt

[ChicagoTeamster]

90. Good Luck

[Hey Joe]

92. Ha! Good on ya man!

Hope you both hit it off well and you make a new friend, or something more.

[summer_in_TX]

93. I'm happy for you!

I'm sure it will be lovely getting to know someone new and vice versa. It'll be good to tell your stories to someone who is curious and open to them as she gets to know you, and vice versa. Talking to your kids when they've known you their whole life runs into expectations, assumptions, and relationship habits and just isn't that satisfying. This is all new, fresh. I feel certain you will have a wonderful time.

[Talitha]

95. That's wonderful news, best of luck!

Well, she asked you out and you already seem to click - that's a great start.

Are you going anywhere special, or just hanging out at one of your homes? In any case, just be yourself.

Relax, you've got this.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

96. She's Portuguese so I'm thinking of taking her into Phoenix to a Portuguese restaurant to dine,

after that, I'll ask her if there's anywhere special she'd like to go to, maybe dancing, even though I'm a terrible dancer, when I dance, I look like one of those inflatable figures that you see at a car dealership that flops everywhere.

[Talitha]

98. The restaurant sounds nice, I bet she'll enjoy that.

"when I dance, I look like one of those inflatable figures that you see at a car dealership that flops everywhere."
I might have gone out with you in high school.

Back to Saturday - why not ask her ahead of time what she'd like to do after dinner? She might suggest a movie or a walk.

Have fun!

[Evolve Dammit]

101. Ha! Best wishes, ED

[Arthur_Frain]

97. Man, I hope you have a great time.

Just let expectations go and enjoy.

[Ilikepurple]

99. Good luck MCE! We are all rooting for you to have a nice night out.

[Boo1]

100. It'll be fine

she'll probably remember dating the same way you do.

[DFW]

102. I am clueless.

If I had to guess, I’d offer “be open to everything, while harboring no expectations”

But since I met my wife 52 years ago when we were both 22, and we are still together, I’m probably the VERY last person you should ask for advice!

[Laurelin]

103. Have a great time

[Scrivener7]

105. Good luck! Enjoy yourself.

[NNadir]

106. My father remarried after my mother's death.

His second marriage was wonderful because his first taught him how to love.

Best of luck.

[viva la]

107. Best of luck!

And have fun! You deserve some joy.

[orangecrush]

108. Thanks for sharing

Hope you have a great time!

[babylonsister]

109. Is she a Democrat?

I don't see you tolerating anything less. And can she cook. Very important because Portuguese food is delicious!
I do love she invited you, so she's somewhat assertive. That should help with your conversation.
I hope you both have a magical evening!

[LisaM]

110. This is wonderful.

There's no reason either of you should spend this chapter of your life being lonely. It also sounds as if you have great kids and grandkids. Maybe she does, too.

My widowed mother is 90 today, about ready for assisted living, and loneliness is, I think, her biggest issue, as it is with many older people. I hope this develops into something!

[Clouds Passing]

111. Much good luck MCE 🍀

[IbogaProject]

112. Good to hear

Dating wont be much different relative to your youth vs that you both have much more stuff than in your youth. Best wishes.

[Cherokee100]

113. Hang in there

Hang in there Jarhead. Take it one step at a time. Semper Fidelis.

[appleannie1]

114. Relax and be natural. If you already clicked when not on a date, you already know the answer. Be yourself.

[onethatcares]

115. be you...

being a gentleman never hurts either.

you will be fine.

[pandr32]

116. Luck!

[Old Crank]

117. Any advice I give you is worth

what you paid for it.

Be yourself. Don't worry about what is next for the two of you and enjoy the moment. Don't be afraid to talk about your former spouses. They were a big part of both of your lives. I still have thoughts about my first wife I lost 40 years ago.

She might be further along in her grieving cycle and will likely be willing to give you any space you need.

All the best.

[1WorldHope]

118. What lovely good news! I hope you both fall hopelessly in love!

[Moostache]

120. Best wishes for you to both find companionship and happiness.

I wish you all the best and all I would ever advise someone in your situation is to be 100% yourself without compromise. You honor your wife and marriage by sharing the person you were by remaining the man that you are. May the road rise to meet you!

[Tetrachloride]

121. Enjoy

[dalton99a]

122. Make every day count. Good luck!

[bluestarone]

123. Good luck.

Hope this works out for BOTH of you guys. Everyone deserves happiness!!

[Kid Berwyn]

124. Just be yourself.

Ask your friend what she thinks about. I bet your politics are very similar. Share freely. Have fun.

[malthaussen]

125. Well, how long has it been since she's dated?

How we date dates us. Now, if people would just go into it without any expectations and roll with whatever happens, it would probably be more fun, and a lot easier on the brain.

Spoken by a man who for all intents and purposes never had a "date" in his life.

-- Mal

[50 Shades Of Blue]

126. Aww, good luck! I hope you both have a wonderful time.

[mr715]

127. Well, how'd it go?

[MarineCombatEngineer]

135. It's not until this Saturday. nt

[HeartsCanHope]

128. I remember the line from Sleepless in Seattle,

"People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again." Every time my husband and I watch

Sleepless In Seattle I tell him that if something happens to me I want him to find someone else to love.

He's such a good husband I want him to be happy. Life is too short to spend it alone.

This is only the first date, but see where things lead. It's nice that she asked you out,

you know she's interested!

[Niagara]

129. Have fun, MCE

Stay safe, be yourself (within reason) and keep activities and conversations light and playful.


Smile and laugh.


Share about your hobbies or previous work but don't overshare. Keep topics positive.


Don't forget to listen. Ask her open ended questions. What do you do or what have you done for jobs?


Discuss some books, movies or songs. Don't discuss everything in one date just in case there's more dates in the future.


Besides dinner, maybe enjoy a walk in the park or visit a museum.


When I say be yourself within reason, I say this from a woman's prospective. Sometimes men don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Don't ever mention how attractive another woman is. Like ever. Don't compare her to any other woman either. Like ever. These comments are hurtful, insensitive and absolutely inappropriate and she will never forget these comments either.


Oh, if she doesn't have a feline companion, show up for the date with a single flower. It doesn't have to be a rose or anything flashy or expensive, just let her know that you're thinking about her.


Have fun, stay safe and keep us posted.

[Botany]

130. Just one word

[markie]

131. you won't need luck...

enjoy the delight of that initial excitement...

when my husband died 5 years ago, I said I was going to go live in the woods and never concern myself with relationships... well, I did that for a while, and then when forced to go off the trail, I started writing and then I discovered I wanted to communicate with others...

When my current partner lost his wife 4+ years ago, he was lost and didn't know what he should do... we met online (living 600 miles apart)

I have always said that it is the love that my husband gave me that allows me to love again...

your story makes me remember those first months of meeting the man I now live with...

I would not see it as "dating"... you are making a new friend who may turn out to be more than a friend... whatever way it goes, enjoy the feelings you are enjoying right now and be you!

we definitely want to hear back after the weekend!!!! and tell her hello from all of us- your friends who want you to be happy!

[Celerity]

132. Good luck m8! I hope you 2 have a wonderful time!

[Vinca]

133. Finally, a post that makes us smile! Have fun.

[popsdenver]

134. I wish you all the happiness in the world

you, most certainly deserve it. You are an honorable and righteous man....MCE

Good luck out there, it's a whole new world of dating! LOL

[MarineCombatEngineer]

140. Just a quick follow up everyone,

our date went very well, we seem to have a connection.
We have another date this Friday.

[Bettie]

141. Good! I'm glad it went well for you

it's nice to have someone to share things with.

[Spazito]

142. That is wonderful!

Thanks for the update!

[George McGovern]

143. Way to go sir. Relating, communicating, honesty -- good things. Friday's acomin'.

[Heftylefty]

144. Wish you both the best on your date

You both deserve a second chance at happiness.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

145. Thanks, it went great,

we're going out again on Friday.