The Borowitz Report-Trump Claims Florida Failed to Count All 15,000 Ballots He Mailed In

[LetMyPeopleVote]

Satire: President Convicted Felon claims Democrat won legislative race in his district because #Florida failed to count all 15,000 ballots he mailed in. www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-clai... via @borowitzreport.bsky.social

— Craig Pittman (@craigtimes.bsky.social) 2026-03-25T23:16:33.433Z

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-claims-florida-failed-to-count

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hinting darkly that “there’s something going on,” Donald J. Trump on Wednesday blamed the Republican defeat in his home district in Florida on election officials’ failure to count the fifteen thousand ballots he mailed in.

“I had Eric, Don Jr., JD, and Little Marco shove ballots into every mailbox in Washington,” he said. “The fact that we still didn’t win is proof that voting by mail doesn’t work.”

He complained that “now I’m going to have to spend valuable time calling up the Florida Secretary of State and telling him to find me more votes.”

“This should never be allowed to happen in this country,” he said. “I have more important things to do with my time, like insider trading.”