Trump Requests $1.2 Trillion To Have

[milestogo]

SATIRE, probably

Published: May 18, 2026

WASHINGTON—Declaring the financial allocation a matter of utmost urgency, President Donald Trump on Monday requested $1.2 trillion to have. “I’m calling upon Congress today to immediately provide me with $1.2 trillion in funding that I currently do not possess but which I will possess once it is given to me,” said Trump, acknowledging that he had previously asked for just $900 billion but was now requesting more so that he would have more.

“Even as we speak, I do not have this money, and the only way for me to get it is through swift budgetary action. I’ve gone too long without $1.2 trillion that I’d very much like to have so I can spend it on things I want. It is also possible I’ll want to have more money at a later date, and I will request it then.” At press time, the Senate passed the $1.2 trillion spending measure mostly along party lines, with Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) joining all Republicans in support.

https://theonion.com/trump-requests-1-2-trillion-to-have/

[sakabatou]

1. The Onion is becoming closer and closer to reality

[Diraven]

2. Agreed

If Trump suddenly announce he deserves to be given a trillion dollars for being the greatest president in history, Republicans in Congress would definitely vote for it.

[milestogo]

3. And Fetterman too.

[AloeVera]

4. It's a fair ask. He could have gone for more, such restraint!

/s

[charliea]

6. I clicked through...

Didn't see the Onion attribution and wondered what Orange Grandpa's excuse was for this perfectly reasonable theft

[AloeVera]

8. We've gone through the looking glass where The Onion may or may not be satire. n/t

[sop]

5. He'll ask himself for the money, negotiate with himself, then settle with himself for an even trillion.

The New Art of the Deal.

[Grokenstein]

7. Reminded of this old Superman page from the '40s (Reddit link)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Superdickery/comments/1ojp5xg/i_would_like_to_have_that_three_millions_dollars/

The more things change...

[not a texan]

9. He should get a letter from Virginia Foxx

It may have to be simplified, after all it would be going to a toddler instead of a 4th grader

[kentuck]

10. I read almost to the end...

...believing it to be true...

until I saw that it was The Onion.