Hello from Desert Grandma
Dear friends, I have not been here much since my post back in February regarding my beloved husband of 51 years, (who was also a strong Democrat and veteran,) that was hospitalized due to an uncommon side effect of the immunotherapy he had undergone due to a squamous cell carcinoma (skin cancer) that is usually totally curable. Had we been able to get in to see the Mohs surgeon sooner, he would most likely still be here. Apparently the Mohs surgery allowed a few cells to escape and start growing about 2 inches below the original site. By the time we were finally able to get back in to see the surgeon that did the surgery, it was too late to have anything but a very disfiguring facial surgical procedure done. Hence the recommendation was an immunotherapy called Libtayo which is very successful with this skin cancer, but does have an uncommon side effect that affects kidney function. The treatment is very high doses of steroids, tapering down over a period of weeks. He was at the VA hospital from Feb 2 until March 11. His kidney function had normalized by early March and I wanted him to experience physical, occupational, and speech therapy so that he could return home. My daughter and I spoke with him on the 11th, and he was moved later that day to a rehab hospital that was equipped to continue his medical needs. Unfortunately, he was unresponsive upon arrival at the rehab hospital, although his vitals were ok. The doctor at the rehab ordered a CT scan which they did on site and found he was experiencing an active brain bleed. He was rushed to the Trauma level 1 hospital neurological ICU unit at UNM hospital. Despite some hopeful signs, he never regained full consciousness and passed in the evening of March 15. I had been staying at the ICU unit with him and was by his side when he no longer had a pulse. My husband was the love of my life and it has been so difficult without his kind, loving presence here with me. I am having a specialized neurological autopsy done which will hopefully show exactly what cased the brain bleed and hopefully exactly when it began. I was advised by the ME that this would take some time to determine but they would do their best to provide the information.
I have been too devastated to do much at all since then, because there is a lot to do for life insurance and other legal and financial paperwork. I am so grateful to all of my DU friends that responded when I first posted about our situation back in February. I wanted to let all of you that were kind enough to respond to my post back then know the outcome, and that I am still here and appreciate my DU family now more than ever.
With deep gratitude,
Desert Grandma
= new reply since forum marked as read
When all the legal activities are behind you, I hope that you can take comfort in cherished memories.
Please come back.
Please be gentle with yourself as you grieve. 
My sympathy to you and family and all who knew and loved your husband. May you find comfort and peace in your memories.
Please take care of yourself. 
My favorite brother and only sister died of melanoma, the worst kind. I feel your pain. Please, please, please, take care of yourself, and know we are all here for you to help you get through it all. 🙏🏻
Please know your DU family is always here for you. Don't hesitate to reach out anytime.
Hugs and healing vibes to you, friend.
It's hard to imagine your loss but I'm glad you're feeling up to posting on DU.
You have had a rough time.
Mourn - In time the good memories will replace your pain.
I hope you get your answers. 
Your husband
take care of yourself and take your time.. 
Desert Grandma. 💔💙 ☮️
Big hugs. We'll be here as always.
I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss. My heart hurts for you so very deeply.
(IYour post stopped me in my tracks, actually. My dad passed from squamous cell in the mid-aughts, and my mama five years ago this week from glioblastoma that led to a brain bleed - the latter just a year after my life partner of two decades passed from COVID. So please know how much I understand on so many terrible levels.)
They haven't invented the words to assuage this much pain, so I will just say that this community is holding you in our hearts. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you so much love and light.
Are there children or other family members close by who can help you get through this? It would be wonderful if a few friends and family members step forward to take some of the burden off your shoulders.
In any case, thank you for sharing this sad news with your friends at DU. Condolences to you and your loves ones.
My virtual arms are around you
(((((Hugs)))))
Such a shocking loss and such a struggle for both of you. I hope you get some answers, at least, and maybe find a little peace. I don't know what else to say except that I'm sorry.
Thank you for sharing your story.
51 years is something special.
Sending you healing vibes.
