SEXTING! (Poll)

[orangecrush]

Do you agree or disagree with the following -

Explicit conversations regarding legal activities between CONSENTING ADULTS are NONE OF ANYONE ELSE'S FUCKING BUSINESS

?si=wHUvqgdyDl9AIqsP

115 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Agree
	98 (85%)
	Disagree
	12 (10%)
	IOKIRDI
	0 (0%)
	Disagree, we wiil alienate 700 Club voters
	0 (0%)
	No one wants to sext your old ass, orange
	1 (1%)
	Thanks for the interruption, orange, now I have to start over
	3 (3%)
	Bring back the stocks and dunking stool
	1 (1%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[Irish_Dem]

1. Sexting is wrong and victimizes females.

But I understand the only sin is having a Nazi tattoo.

Greatest moral collapse in US history.

[Sympthsical]

3. How does sexting victimize females?

Unsolicited texting of dick pics and things, absolutely. I think we can agree that's wrong.

But how is sexting itself wrong and victimizing if it's between consenting adults?

[Irish_Dem]

4. Perhaps you can educate yourself.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/113817150

[Sympthsical]

6. I'm educated

I'm just not a prude I guess. God, we're about to have porn wars again, aren't we.

Dating relationships can go bad and abusive. Film at 11. Hell, actual sexual relationships between adults can go abusive real quick.

We don't sit there tutting at people having sex. Because that would be called an anxiety disorder.

But sexting between consenting adults?

Well, it's Pride month. I suppose I'll have to start telling my gay friends to knock it off. Hell, it's how half our dating relationships start. But maybe we're all uneducated that sexual activities between consenting adults isn't meeting with approval.

[orangecrush]

10. Back to the 80's, it seems

With Reagan and that POS Meese and his anti sex campaign

?si=naRuAc-UG8mEW5vb

[LisaL]

16. How do you even know if everybody involved is an adult?

If sexter is using an app frequented by teens, how does the sexter know how old whoever on the other end is? Do tell.

[H2O Man]

127. The poll was specific

to consenting adults. Clearing, an adult interacting with a minor is distinct and the adult should face harsh legal consequences. And if that is the case with a politician they need to be removed from office. Anthony Weiner is the obvious example. He had been one of my favorite members of Congress until that case was exposed. But, again, that is distinct from if Weiner was sexting another adult.

[Sympthsical]

54. I'm not addressing it in that context

I've said from the beginning Platner was problematic, but Mills was also a terrible choice to recruit to oppose him. The result of that is what it is. I'm in California, so I completely get having not great primary choices.

But there's a lot of disingenuous pearl clutching over things other adults do that is a little odd to observe in a Democratic space. Calling Platner a cad or cheater or shitty guy or whatever is perfectly fine.

Now it's getting weird. "All sexting is bad!" Not cheating or infidelity, but the act of sexting itself.

And from my LGBT perch, I'm just sitting here like, "Do y'all know what Grindr is?"

[mr715]

70. Grindr is what people use to get the pepper on their pasta, right?

[LisaL]

72. No, that's grinder.

[mr715]

78. You sure?

I really want to make a penne joke here but I can't seem to figure one out.

[orangecrush]

84. Could be both?

[mr715]

86. There is a solid Family Guy joke...

in which Peter received a notification from his "grinder" app, to which his wife reacts "Isn't that the app for men to have anonymous gay sex?"

Peter then clarifies it is "grinder" not "grindr" and is an app for middle aged married men to trade sandwiches.

[orangecrush]

87. ...

[orangecrush]

83. This thread

Is getting pretty spicy

[MorbidButterflyTat]

9. Now you'll be accused of being a "prude"

and a frigid b*tch because you have the temerity to disagree with the bros.

[Sympthsical]

14. I'm a gay male

Hardly a bro.

Maybe a brolie!

Dunno. Needs a word.

I dunno why you called her a fb. That was weird. No one said that, and it's strange to just inject that epithet right into the conversation like that. Is everything ok?

Prudish? Yes, disapprovingly tut-tutting at consensual behavior among adults is not my idea of liberalism. And the idea that "Enjoyable things many adults do in a healthy manner can go wrong, so you shouldn't do it!" is an anxiety issue.

People need to work through their issues in their own homes instead of inflicting them upon others who aren't doing a damn thing that affects them.

[Climate Crusader]

60. I don't get where your "educational" DU thread applies to females.

Consenting adults are just that.

Not my "cup-of-tea" but neither is Country Music, but, hey, it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.

[usedtobedemgurl]

61. I am female and disagree

1. Puts a marriage at risk. Why assume a female is doing this outside of marriage? I did it all the time with my husband. Yes, I once accidentally sent a text about blowing my husband to my son’s guitar teacher, but it ended up in an apology and not endangering my marriage.

2. Revenge I am not sure I have ever sent sexually explicit photos to anyone, including my husbands or boyfriends. Pictures and videos can be taken in person (again, something I never did), so it could be spread whether sexting or in person. It just could never happen to me.

3. I guess blackmail and revenge could go hand in hand. Yeah; having an affair, being kinky, being gay or numerous other things can open you up for blackmail. I knew a kinky guy in government. A girl he was involved with tried to blackmail him. That is the only person I have ever known of being blackmailed. It was a man, and it did not involve sexting, just like some of the other examples I gave do not have to involve sexting.

4. Now we are getting into minors and not necessarily females. Definitely not women. It kills me when people and/or the news refers to pedos victims as women. They are not. They are children.

Anything that can happen in a sexting conversation can happen in a hotel room/on the phone/personal relationship.

I do not even share regular photos of me. The reason? Scammers will ask for a photo of you, even on sites where you already have photos, because they will then use your photo to catfish other people. They are trying to get photos which are not public, so it is harder for the person being scammed to figure out they are being scammed. So, no one gets any photo of me.

I have sexted with folks I am in a relationship with. I never felt victimized. I totally disagree with the reasons set forth in the link.

[ZDU]

31. Please

Men sex text men. Period.
Heteronormativity much?

[Nanjeanne]

34. Really. I know women who sext as well as men. Depends on who they are talking to, whether consensual

Etc. But in my day we did it over the phone with long distance boyfriends. Are we really judging adult people and their individual sexual activity? Infidelity Im not a fan of and wouldn’t tolerate in my personal life. But I don’t give a shit about someone else.

[sarisataka]

59. No longer, that is a forgivable sin

There is only one that is unforgivable

[Kali]

2. I have mixed views on this

in general none of my fucking business. HOWEVER...a partner doing it? uh, no. me doing it behind a partners back? no. somebody purporting to be some kind of a leader? well, obviously that is more complicated. would prefer leadership to be ethical, moral types of people. so then it goes to circumstances. it goes to maturity and judgement. the guy in question could genuinely be growing up before our eyes. or he could be full of shit.

[orangecrush]

5. Thanks, Kali

My take as well, with a slightly different angle.

Sexting behind an unknowing partners back can destroy a relationship.

However, I don't think that means said communications are for public consumption, if within the framework of consenting adult, etc.

With some of the attacks I see here, I feel like I've been redirected to "Focus on the Family".

[Kali]

7. Grandma (and Mom) alway said

don't put anything in writing you wouldn't want the whole world to see. still relevant advice. LOL

[orangecrush]

8. True

The Internet never forgets.

[róisín_dubh]

95. My law professor said the same thing

[ZDU]

126. Orange...

Back in the day, I had a bumper sticker that read:
Focus On Your Own Fucking Family

For your amusement:
https://www.instagram.com/p/C19C1j7P99c/

[orangecrush]

130. Thanks. ZDU!

[MorbidButterflyTat]

11. If you want your business to be nobody else's business

don't run for public office.

[Attilatheblond]

129. Didn't Melania advise Trump against running for office?

He should've listened, but I reckon it was his last ditch plan to make some real money so he ran

[LisaL]

12. I am curious whether the spouse of the "sexter" counts

as a non-consenting adult in this situation? And by sexter I mean the husband who is texting other women while married?

[orangecrush]

13. ...

No business of anyones outside of the marriage

?si=naRuAc-UG8mEW5vb

[LisaL]

15. WTF is that supposed to mean?

Is our argument now that cheating is healthy for marriage?

[orangecrush]

17. For some people it is

And they don't call it cheating

They call it an open relationship.

OH, MY!

[LisaL]

18. What do you call a relationship only open on one end?

Do tell. Do you at least agree that not everybody is into the "open" relationships?

[orangecrush]

19. Totally agree

And I also agree that I don't get to dictate the terms of anyone's relationship.

[LisaL]

22. All I have to say, his wife doesn't seem thrilled

about the sexting.

[orangecrush]

25. And she also said they worked through it

And that the aide who she confided in violated her trust and privacy.

[LisaL]

28. You don't need to "work through it" if you are fine with it, I think that's fair to guess.

NT

[orangecrush]

23. Only open on one end WITH CONSENT OF PARTNER

Does exist.

Dishonesty invalidates any relationship.

My take.

[Shrek]

32. It becomes my business when one seeks political power

I need to know if a candidate is prone to deception or fails to honor promises and commitments.

[orangecrush]

53. On that basis

JFK should have been removed from office?

[Shrek]

76. I said nothing of the sort

But had I been old enough to vote it would have been one factor of many to consider.

[ZDU]

35. Great song!

"Dear Puritans,
Get fucked.
Love & hugs,
ZDU"

[orangecrush]

52. ...

[Sympthsical]

21. Is physical cheating considered a non-consenting act?

I mean, when it comes to sexual behavior and matters of consent, I would only involve the people within the act - not the people who are outside of it. That would be a weird standard, wouldn't it? I've had friends tell me they hate someone I've been dating. Does that mean they're non-consenting adults because they don't approve of what I'm doing?

It's a weird standard to create with so many extremely odd implications. Are religious parents of a minor teenager who has sex non-consenting adults? Do you see what I mean about what a bizarre rabbit hole everyone could quickly go down? If mom's cheating on dad, are there non-consenting children?

I think a spouse - and most spouses, really - would consider it infidelity. Sure.

But I don't think consent is a question in this equation unless one of the actual parties involved in the act isn't consenting.

[LisaL]

24. It's the spouse who I am talking about.

The spouse who doesn't appear to be thrilled by all this.

[Sympthsical]

67. I understand that

But I don't know where the word "consent" comes to play in this. If the expectation is monogamy, then no partner of a cheating spouse is consenting to it. If there were consent, then it wouldn't be cheating. It'd just be an open relationship.

But we don't typically use the word consent in this context. Spouses don't consent to all kinds of things their partner may do. Staying out without calling, drinking, hanging out with a friend they hate, buying an expensive treat for themselves.

Consent has serious implications when it comes to sexual matters. I don't think we could or should extend that concept's context to being a shitty spouse. Lack of consent in sexual matters is a crime. Lack of consent in a relationship could just mean being an asshole. And even then, maybe the partner's threshold for consent of behavior is unreasonable. "You can't go out with your friends!" might not be a reasonable expectation or request in a marriage. Would we say if the spouse went out anyway, their partner is a non-consenting adult?

[orangecrush]

33. Well said

I totally get it.

But as the saying goes, if you have to explain, they aren't going to understand anyway.

[TBF]

49. Didn't we learn in that thread the other day

that the spouse "loves and supports" him ...

His wife will no doubt file for divorce after he's sworn in. I would.

[orangecrush]

85. There are millions of people

Who have worked through infidelity issues in a marriage and stayed married.

[Sewa]

20. It matters when a person is a candidate

for the US senate and a newlywed. And he is sexting six women.

This is a pos poll without this option 👎💀

[obamanut2012]

29. hank you

The discourse on this here on DU has been pretty appalling.

[orangecrush]

36. Who is Hank

And what's he have to do with this?

[Skittles]

109. yup

makes me wonder, for sure

[orangecrush]

132. Um

He posted this on my thread.

Who is following who?

[orangecrush]

131. Going after you???

You're posting on my thread.

[orangecrush]

64. WAIT I GET IT NOW!

?si=v1S3BX-NmCiZVGjO

[Skittles]

97. it is indeed

while I agree getting the House is important, I never thought I'd see the day when misogyny and nazi tattoos are dismissed as mere trivialities on a progressive site

[mr715]

99. I am ashamed that I am where I am.

That Trump brought me so low that I am willing to fight for candidates so flawed as I do.

It genuinely gnaws at me, and what I am (truly) willing to accept to win elections.

[Skittles]

100. the bar has been very much lowered for the presidency

I don't want it to start a trend

[mr715]

105. I'm glad you understand.

I get it. I see the issues that are out there. I really need to see Susan Collins go. All I want for Xmas. And Talarico elected. And Cooper. And Brown. And Peltola. And Osborne.

I'll reevaluate the intersection of my moral and political compass after. Recalibrate as needed.

[Skittles]

120. while I "get" it

I don't compromise my principles to the point I need to "revaluate" - nope

over and OUT

[obamanut2012]

104. Thank you

Notice OP attacking me and many other women in this thread. His harassing me and others in this and his other threads has stopped me from really commenting on this.

It is bullying and sexist.

[Skittles]

106. yup - bullies can be found everywhere

they are not exclusive to repukes

the IGNORE function can come in handy; yes indeed

[orangecrush]

40. Thanks for posting on my POS poll

Gives it more visibility on the board!

[mr715]

71. LOL

Here, have this one too.

[orangecrush]

73. Thanks again

[leftstreet]

26. I'm still not sure what it is

Definitions of "sexting" seem pretty fluid, with no one description that everyone agrees on

If it had just been two people consenting to the exchange of legal photos, audio/videos, etc we would probably never have heard about it.

But it gained attention when non-consensual elements were found - leaking, revenge-posting, etc. So is it really accurate to define that as "sexting?"

I'm too old for this shit...

[LisaL]

30. This one is about a newly married men

sexting six other women. Whose ages are unknown, by the way. Not sure we can just presume they are all adults.

[leftstreet]

37. If legal and consensual, none of my business

Pretty risky these days for a hopeful public figure though

[LisaL]

41. This man is running for an important political office.

Does his personal behavior matters in that situation?

[Shrek]

81. It matters

If he’s a liar and a cheat then it bears directly on his fitness for office.

[leftstreet]

90. Yeah, it's risky

Like I said

Legal, consensual, none of our business, BUT pretty boneheaded when everyone's talking about your sex life and not the policies you've been campaigning on

dumb

[orangecrush]

42. The GOP is crapping their pants

Over the very real prospect of losing the Senate, leading to a very real possibility of impeachment, conviction and removal of Trump.

Smells like...

Victory.

[LisaL]

44. Don't say hop before you jump.

Somehow I doubt this particular situation is scaring GOP.

[orangecrush]

46. They sure are spending a ton of money

For unconcerned people.

[Skittles]

57. so you're saying

the same party that pimps for a porn-star banging rapist is........outraged

[orangecrush]

62. Hi Skittles

Thanks for posting.

[orangecrush]

88. Too old here too

[Mitsuplex]

38. It's no different really than phone sex

I'd certainly consider it cheating, and I think anyone else should too if their spouse was doing this.

[obamanut2012]

108. Exactly

[ZDU]

39. Panties. Wad. Discuss.

Panties? Meet Wad. Discuss.

[obamanut2012]

101. What does that mean?

[ZDU]

103. Mr. Panties, meet M. Wad.

M. Wad, meet Mr. Panties.
Discuss.

For context, please allow me to present:

https://m.

&ra=m

[obamanut2012]

107. So, you are another one

You are not funny, you are bullying folks on here. I don't find you funny, and I consider your reply trolling.

[ZDU]

113. You Need to Calm Down

https://m.

&ra=m

[TVguyCards]

45. If only people cared and were as upset about politicians

who don't support single payer healthcare which would literally save thousands of lives annually. That seems like a much bigger problem than what happens on someone's iPhone.

This sort of personal stuff has no impact on anyone's lives at all except for those immediately involved. More than 50% of American's do not even have $500 in savings in case of an emergency. What exactly are we doing here?

[orangecrush]

48. This.

[jmbar2]

98. Why can't we just elect the guy who supports our positions, but isn't a POS?

[questionseverything]

115. Wether you like it or not, platner has put in the time and shoe leather to get Maine's support

If you want someone else they have a lot of catching up to do

[TVguyCards]

136. I hear ya

[Shrek]

110. If a lying cheater tells me he supports single payer

Why would I believe him?

[Nanjeanne]

112. You never believed Bill Clinton I guess about annything policy wise I guess. Interesting.

[TVguyCards]

138. I understand

and I hope you'd hold others to that same amount of scrutiny. Let's be honest, there's a lot of politicians out there who say anything to win & who put their name on a bill then suddenly do an about face on the policies they said they support.

[Skittles]

123. once again

surely there are candidate to be found who support single payer but don't sport nazi tattoos and behave in disgusting ways.....what are we doing here, INDEED

[TVguyCards]

137. Well I would hope so

but this is very last minute and I'm thinking there simply isn't enough time to make it happen. That said, I've learned to never say never when it comes to politics. After all look at the piece of fungus currently in the White House.

[EdmondDantes_]

47. It's definitely an issue for the people in the relationship

Not so much concerned in isolation about it. But it does give me a bit of pause for two reasons.

The first is the long history of men who act entitled on sex also having issues around consent. At this point, there's nothing like that with Platner.

The other issue is combined with his reddit behavior, it seems like he has issues with impulse control. And because it's more recent than his reddit comments, it suggests to me he hasn't matured or healed enough to get past that. Again not disqualifying in itself, but it brings up questions.

I get it. Not everyone is as squeaky clean as Obama, and men like JFK were able to be consequential presidents while having morals that I find distasteful. And a dumbass like George W Bush as far as I know didn't cheat on his wife but he still sucked.

Everything in life involves compromise. Even if I got elected president and got to be in charge, I'd still have to deal with others. Platner isn't perfect. He's highly likely to be the candidate and based on current polling the favorite to win the Senate seat. So at least so far, his issues aren't a blocker for the voters in Maine. And just like with everyone, hopefully his good qualities outweigh his negative ones especially given he's likely to be a senator in January.

[B.See]

50. Huh? No poll option that reads,

"Somewhere MAGAS are laughing their asses off and eating popcorn"? Bummer.

[orangecrush]

55. Sorry

Great option.

[B.See]

58. Just having a bit of wit with it, Orange.

All good.

[orangecrush]

80. Totally cool

[SSJVegeta]

51. At first I saw this as "sexit poll"

[orangecrush]

56. ...

[mr715]

92. Oooo there is a dirty joke hidden there with Brexit.

[Skittles]

63. on the one hand, it may be "their own business"

however, it DOES show a SERIOUS LACK OF GOOD JUDGEMENT. And THAT can come into play for, say, job prospects.

[orangecrush]

68. Agree, and with some voters

Who have had bad experiences with infidelity, such revelations could be seriously off putting.

Which I can completely empathize with.

[Ineedamoment]

65. Sexting with another person is fine if both are consenting...

though in today's world, it's probably not wise.

Sexting 12 different women shortly after you've gotten married suggests a behavioral health problem.

[orangecrush]

89. 4 combat tours could do that

[questionseverything]

117. It was 6 women and welcome to du

Congrats on your 16th post

[Ineedamoment]

144. Oh - only six. That makes it okay.

[sarisataka]

66. I wonder if I go back and look for a sexting scandal

By a Republican if we said meh, or condemned him?
I'm pretty sure I know the answer but don't care enough to confirm it.

I will say the same as I said to people about Bill Clinton: marital infidelity is a matter between the spouses. It is a sign of poor character but in and of itself does not mean a person is automatically disqualified from office.

[orangecrush]

69. JFK

Comes to mind.

Thank you for your post.

[mr715]

79. FDR

[MustLoveBeagles]

74. Agree with an asterek

There are risks involved in this activity even between consenting adults. Think 🤔 long and hard before you do this. Are you willing to accept the risks and consequences mentioned in this thread?

[orangecrush]

75. Fair enough

[MustLoveBeagles]

77. Love ya

[orangecrush]

82. Love always

[Boo1]

91. Ina random person

Who cares...

In somebody we are putting into a position of trust, it matters.

[Quiet Em]

93. I'm normally live and let live if no one is getting hurt

I don't judge what consenting adults do. Not my business.

But I won't ignore the full picture of why we are discussing this.

If you are sexting people on an application known to be a haven for predators and child exploitation for ten years, and you are still active on that app, I'm going to need a little more assurance that your weren't and aren't interacting with minors. That is a crime. A really horrendous crime.

Google RJ May, Republican from South Carolina. He preyed on this particular site. He's going to prison.

This is not your typical dating app.

[orangecrush]

94. The app at present is age restricted

To over 18.

Not sure how long it's been that way

[Quiet Em]

116. I think it's over 13 in the US

but they do not verify age, it's a sex site filled with minors.

[orangecrush]

118. Just looked

It's over 18 in the US.


https://help.kik.com/hc/en-us/articles/4402358258971-Kik-Community-Standards

[jmbar2]

96. Welp...

- He's good at saying stuff like Bernie says
- He's running for Senate, but thought he would sext a bunch of women while married and no one would find out or care.
- He dragged his wife through the mud -- the person who stood with him every step of the way, and likely agreed to invest their entire shared assets into his campaign. And now has to go in front of the world and say, "Ah, shucks, I forgive him", in order to keep her shared world with him from collapsing.
- And, as far as we know, he hasn't raped anyone, or sexted kids. But boys will be boys...

So...
He's our guy! Yay!

Isn't there ANYONE else who says the good Bernie stuff without all the baggage? Anyone?

[JustAnotherGen]

111. In what context?

[Luciferous]

114. I find the Nazi tattoo and the misogynistic

Reddit comments extremely problematic, I could care less about consensual sexting.

[ColoringFool]

119. The Premise Is Too General.

[buzzycrumbhunger]

121. Why do people keep using "sexting" to mean

… sexual interplay of any kind is horrific, abusive, etc. when there’s a huge difference between consenting adults and truly abusive situations with unwilling women/children. I can’t say I’d have any interest in doing this (gah—not going to put pix or sex talk out there into the universe for posterity!) but I’m not going to clutch my pearls and screech about someone else choosing to do so.

To me, the big problem is when it’s done with someone outside a current relationship—i.e. cheating on a spouse/lover. Ruins your argument when you try to make this an all or nothing outrage.

[QueerDuck]

124. It's important to have standards.

I have standards.

[Polybius]

125. Nah, I wanna know what those texts say

I await reading them.

[orangecrush]

135. I'm confused

Why would you want to read private intimate communication between consenting adults?

His own wife said it's nobody else's business.

[Polybius]

143. His own wife is wrong

He's running for public office. It's everyone's business.

[orangecrush]

145. Apparently Mainers disagree.

[Polybius]

146. We'll see if they do in November n/t

[orangecrush]

147. Agreed

[pinkstarburst]

128. I care when the person

in question is a US senate candidate, is married, and is sexting with 6 other women who aren't his wife.

And I would suggest that I may not be the only woman in America who would find that behavior repulsive.

Now, I don't get to vote in Maine. I would guess that quite a few of us weighing in are not registered to vote in Maine.

What I really think is that the DNC has done an incredibly bad job here and needs to be proactive, especially with races as important as US Senate races, of making sure that we have good solid vetted candidates running in every state. That didn't happen here.

[niyad]

133. You forgot the apostophe in "ELSE's".

[orangecrush]

134. Thank you

I compliment your grammatical excellence .

And I'm not being sarcastic.

[niyad]

139. Then I will say, you are most welcome.

[orangecrush]

140. ...

[LudwigPastorius]

141. At the least, it shows bad judgement and a lack of impulse control.

Those are a couple things I don't think anyone wants in an elected official.

[orangecrush]

142. 4 combat tours and he's still alive

Shows me some kind of judgement and self control in matters of life and death.

Not a bone spur in his body.