Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Pacifist Patriot

(25,221 posts)
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:41 PM 21 hrs ago

My dad has been referred to a palliative facility for hospice care.

The doctors have been wonderfully direct, honest, and compassionate simultaneously. It's clear we're talking days not weeks or months. Everyone involved is clear eyed about that.

He's been telling anyone who enters his hospital room that he's celebrating his 60 year 6 month anniversary with the woman of his dreams today. I have never taken my good fortune to be his daughter for granted a single day of my life. We are a no drama warm progressive family and no one could hand pick better. If you're religious, we've been blessed. If you're not, the draw of the universe fell in our favor.

We're talking about a man who survived polio in 1954, the Vietnam war in 1969, throat cancer in 1995, bladder cancer in 2006, a heart valve replacement in 2013 and lung cancer gets him in the end. He's my Energizer Bunny, my inspiration, my biggest cheerleader, and the best model of what it means to be a patriot. The man showed up at every No King's Rally, including the most recent one on March 28 after his terminal diagnosis. Because that's how important the future of our country is.

But GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!! I really wanted him to witness Trump's demise before he left this earth. And I know he did too...(and so do the lot of his absolutely phenomenal can't say enough good things about them care team - no secrets in the PCU!)

Thanks for listening. I'm the one holding the family together right now so just needed to let it out somewhere. Whew

65 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My dad has been referred to a palliative facility for hospice care. (Original Post) Pacifist Patriot 21 hrs ago OP
I'm sorry MustLoveBeagles 21 hrs ago #1
Sending you vibes, strength, and healing. Been there and it hurts. ms liberty 21 hrs ago #2
Your Dad sounds like a gem. democrank 21 hrs ago #3
Take as much time with him as you can and share good memories Maeve 21 hrs ago #4
Nothing prepares us. Stay encouraged, Pacifist Patriot. ❤️ littlemissmartypants 21 hrs ago #5
May he have a peaceful journey mcar 20 hrs ago #6
Healing vibes on the way to you and your family SheltieLover 20 hrs ago #7
My deepest and most sincere condolences. AltairIV 20 hrs ago #8
Sending you and family peaceful vibes virgdem 20 hrs ago #9
I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time. brer cat 20 hrs ago #10
Too sad malaise 20 hrs ago #11
sending patience, love and peace to you, your Dad and family RT Atlanta 20 hrs ago #12
Sounds like he had a good family Figarosmom 20 hrs ago #13
Pacifist Patriot, I am so sorry for your loss. BComplex 19 hrs ago #14
Your op touched my heart. A lovely tribute from Ninga 19 hrs ago #15
Sending warmest wishes for strength and peace Grim Chieftain 19 hrs ago #16
My thoughts are with you and your family mgardener 19 hrs ago #17
Hey Pacifist Patriot - here's a hug: calimary 19 hrs ago #18
I'm sorry cate94 19 hrs ago #19
"" AllaN01Bear 19 hrs ago #20
I'm so sorry you are losing your wonderful dad. redwitch 19 hrs ago #21
Dad will have a ring side seat to watch TSF's demise and will likely still be at all the protests across the country all MLAA 19 hrs ago #22
I'm so sorry you're going this heartache JoseBalow 19 hrs ago #23
And the same to you, JoseBalow.. Permanut 18 hrs ago #34
Thank you, that means a lot to me JoseBalow 15 hrs ago #40
That shows what a big heart you have. Permanut 15 hrs ago #42
Thank you Pacifist Patriot 4 hrs ago #55
Yes, they do JoseBalow 22 min ago #63
Sending you, your father, and your family love and light. HeartsCanHope 19 hrs ago #24
I'm so sorry Danmel 19 hrs ago #25
You are blessed to have had him as your father. We should all be so lucky to have someone like that in our life. Katinfl 18 hrs ago #26
Your Dad sounds like a great egg. applegrove 18 hrs ago #27
I'm very sorry. GentryDixon 18 hrs ago #28
My condolences to you and your family. yellow dahlia 18 hrs ago #29
Keeping y'all in my thoughts ZDU 18 hrs ago #30
we are here to listen.... markie 18 hrs ago #31
What a great tribute, Pacifist Patriot.. Permanut 18 hrs ago #32
So sorry! Strength to you all. electric_blue68 18 hrs ago #33
♥️ ♥️ ♥️ a kennedy 18 hrs ago #35
He must be an extraordinary man hamsterjill 17 hrs ago #36
Sending you strength and peace senseandsensibility 17 hrs ago #37
I'm so sorry Raine 17 hrs ago #38
I'm so sorry. Spend as much time with him as you can. sinkingfeeling 16 hrs ago #39
About 10 years ago, my former father in law went into palliative care LetMyPeopleVote 15 hrs ago #41
Holding you and your family and your care team in light and love. niyad 14 hrs ago #43
Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man, and you are doing a great job. c-rational 14 hrs ago #44
oh my Skittles 13 hrs ago #45
I'm so sorry. area51 11 hrs ago #46
Laying one's burden down Dear_Prudence 11 hrs ago #47
We are in the same boat seta1950 10 hrs ago #48
I'm so sorry to hear that. Pacifist Patriot 4 hrs ago #54
Holding you and your dad in my thoughts flamingdem 8 hrs ago #49
Been there, done that. First time with my father, next time with my mother, state of stupid 7 hrs ago #50
Thank you, that is the perspective of the family. Pacifist Patriot 4 hrs ago #56
It sounds as if both he and you possess the strength for this journey. May LoisB 7 hrs ago #51
... biocube 7 hrs ago #52
Sending love, hugs and prayers gademocrat7 6 hrs ago #53
Sorry for the loss of such a strong and wonderful guy !!! essaynnc 3 hrs ago #57
Gentle 🫂 to you and your family. mwmisses4289 2 hrs ago #58
K&R spanone 2 hrs ago #59
So sorry, Pacifist Patriot. 70sEraVet 2 hrs ago #60
Sending you and your family Faux pas 1 hr ago #61
Your dad maliaSmith 32 min ago #62
Hospice was the best thing that happened to my dad. Buzz cook 17 min ago #64
I wish that everyone had what your family has gopher fixer 10 min ago #65

MustLoveBeagles

(17,997 posts)
1. I'm sorry
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:46 PM
21 hrs ago

At least he lived a good life. Hugs and condolences to you. I'll send you some healing vibes.

democrank

(12,703 posts)
3. Your Dad sounds like a gem.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:51 PM
21 hrs ago

Treasure every moment you have with him. Sending strength and love.

Maeve

(43,524 posts)
4. Take as much time with him as you can and share good memories
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:52 PM
21 hrs ago

I was the only one with my mom and she went moments after I was told she was dying (less than 24 hours after the fall that killed her).
Treasure the time you have left, and don't second guess any decisions.

May you and your family bask in the love you have for each other and may memory be a blessing now and in the future.

mcar

(46,494 posts)
6. May he have a peaceful journey
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:01 PM
20 hrs ago

He sounds like a wonderful man - and you are wonderful kid! I've been in your shoes. It's so hard. But he's in the right place and surrounded by love.

And hey, maybe his wish will come true!

AltairIV

(1,074 posts)
8. My deepest and most sincere condolences.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:43 PM
20 hrs ago

Your father sounds like a wonderful man. as time passes may your memories of him warm your heart.

brer cat

(27,738 posts)
10. I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:46 PM
20 hrs ago

I'm sending my best wishes for comfort and peace for him as he completes this journey, as well as for you and your family.

Figarosmom

(14,260 posts)
13. Sounds like he had a good family
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:51 PM
20 hrs ago

To spend his life with. I'm sure he's secure in knowing you and the rest of your family will be successful in ridding our nation of the orange menace. Let him rest now. Love and Peace.

BComplex

(10,001 posts)
14. Pacifist Patriot, I am so sorry for your loss.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:59 PM
19 hrs ago

What a remarkable man, and what a remarkable family he and your mom built together. I'm sending warm and supportive hugs to you through the ether here, and a special hug to your dad for all he has done.

Ninga

(9,041 posts)
15. Your op touched my heart. A lovely tribute from
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:59 PM
19 hrs ago

a loving offspring- it’s all we can hope for. A blessing indeed. Peace be with your Dad and your family. May the days ahead
land gently.

Grim Chieftain

(2,222 posts)
16. Sending warmest wishes for strength and peace
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:01 PM
19 hrs ago

as you and your loved ones face this difficult time. You are in my thoughts, Pacifist Patriot.

calimary

(91,196 posts)
18. Hey Pacifist Patriot - here's a hug:
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:12 PM
19 hrs ago

(((((((((((( * )))))))))))).

Glad you posted this here. I know there’s TONS of sympathy, empathy, and solidarity surrounding you from us at DU.

You’re exactly the kind of support he needs right now. And you’re being loving and supportive as can be. Just know you’re loved and cared about, ESPECIALLY with this difficult journey ahead of you. Please do post how it’s going, and keep us updated as much as you can (although I know you have other priorities on your mind right now). Everybody here will understand.

Sending lots of hugs and vibes of strength.

And if it’ll help, remember what DUer Skittles once said: “someone’s always here.” You won’t be going through this alone.

MLAA

(19,831 posts)
22. Dad will have a ring side seat to watch TSF's demise and will likely still be at all the protests across the country all
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:25 PM
19 hrs ago

at once until the entire lot of them are gone. I’m not religious but I certainly believe strongly in the beyond. ❤️

In the mean time may his passing be gentle and I’m sending your family the warmest wishes and hugs.

JoseBalow

(9,834 posts)
23. I'm so sorry you're going this heartache
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:35 PM
19 hrs ago

I know how painful and difficult this time is for you. I very recently went through a similar situation with my partner, and there is not much that can be said to help make it any better. Try to take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and there are people who care.

Please try to make the effort to be kind to yourself.

Permanut

(8,669 posts)
34. And the same to you, JoseBalow..
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:39 PM
18 hrs ago

I'm sorry for your loss; kind thoughts coming your way, special delivery.

JoseBalow

(9,834 posts)
63. Yes, they do
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 11:34 AM
22 min ago

But it does help to know you're not alone, and that someone cares. Just being able to feel that connection makes a difference. We will survive this. One step at a time.

HeartsCanHope

(1,774 posts)
24. Sending you, your father, and your family love and light.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:48 PM
19 hrs ago

Will be keeping you all in my thoughts.

Katinfl

(918 posts)
26. You are blessed to have had him as your father. We should all be so lucky to have someone like that in our life.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:57 PM
18 hrs ago

You will have wonderful memories to get you through the tough days ahead.

ZDU

(1,515 posts)
30. Keeping y'all in my thoughts
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:28 PM
18 hrs ago

... and sending waves of compassion and healing to you and your loved ones too

Permanut

(8,669 posts)
32. What a great tribute, Pacifist Patriot..
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:36 PM
18 hrs ago

and what a guy. We're never ready for these cycles of life. We celebrate him and his life now, and we will celebrate for him later.

electric_blue68

(27,668 posts)
33. So sorry! Strength to you all.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:37 PM
18 hrs ago

He's gone through a lot.
Sounds like a great guy.
Treasure each last moments togther.
Recall the best times.
Gentle

(I've been there)

a kennedy

(36,609 posts)
35. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:46 PM
18 hrs ago

It’s all been said here…….savor the good times, let him know how much he means to you, and just love him. 🙏🏻 ♥️

hamsterjill

(17,905 posts)
36. He must be an extraordinary man
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 06:20 PM
17 hrs ago

To have raised a daughter like you. Family is everything. The definition of family can be whatever anyone chooses it to be, whether biological or whatever.

I am so sorry for your situation. Like you, I had a dad that I looked up to and his loss was a hard thing. I wish your father a safe and peaceful passing when that time comes. Cherish every minute. Say what needs to be said, if anything. And just love one another.

Peace and comfort to you

senseandsensibility

(25,862 posts)
37. Sending you strength and peace
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 06:32 PM
17 hrs ago

I hope you and your dad can find both. Hang in there, Pacific Patriot.

LetMyPeopleVote

(183,308 posts)
41. About 10 years ago, my former father in law went into palliative care
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 08:09 PM
15 hrs ago

He had been in a hospital for several months. The palliative care doctors came in and recommended hospice. My kids and my ex-wife sort of nominated me to explain to my ex-mother-in-law and ex-father-in-law what this meant. The palliative care doctors were great but this was still no fun

The hospice was great. I remember making daily trips. My ex-mother-in-law basically camped out at the hospice. My ex-father-in-law had worked for former mayor Sylvester Turner who came to visit him. There is a concept in hospice care of the last good day. My ex-father in law's last good day was when Mayor Turner came to the Hospice. My ex-father-in-law was alert and had a great visit. The next day he declined drastically and had passed within the week.

I am sorry for your father. Hopefully you will get to spend some time with him at the hospice.

niyad

(134,824 posts)
43. Holding you and your family and your care team in light and love.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 09:42 PM
14 hrs ago

Vibes for a gentle crossing, and peace and healing for all of you.

And, who knows, he may still see the orange scum gone!

Dear_Prudence

(1,205 posts)
47. Laying one's burden down
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 12:29 AM
11 hrs ago

We must all lay our burden down sometime-when we falter and at life's end. We find peace in the faith that our friends, family, and community, including the DU community, will carry on in our absence. I wish you and your family peace during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your dad's story, beautiful.

seta1950

(975 posts)
48. We are in the same boat
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 01:07 AM
10 hrs ago

My husband has stage 4 that has metastasized to his bones, take one step at a time and dead breaths. I’m sorry 😢

flamingdem

(40,989 posts)
49. Holding you and your dad in my thoughts
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 03:20 AM
8 hrs ago

There may still be time. We might get some clarity on the future soon. There might be real hope.

state of stupid

(233 posts)
50. Been there, done that. First time with my father, next time with my mother,
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 04:14 AM
7 hrs ago

then with my father-in-law, then with my mother-in-law, then with my wife. I have a niece for
my final days, but she does not like talking about it. Please remember that this is not about you,
it is about them. Do everything you can in this time to remember who they are/were and celebrate
every second you can with no hesitation or regret. When it is all said and done, they will live on in
your and everyone who loved them memories. The pain stings every now and then but the memories
of whom they were and what they stood for erases a lot that pain and replaces it with a contentment
that cannot be explained, only felt.

Pacifist Patriot

(25,221 posts)
56. Thank you, that is the perspective of the family.
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 07:42 AM
4 hrs ago

It's all about what he needs and wants right now.

We lost my father-in-law a year and a half ago. It never gets easier, just different circumstances each time.

LoisB

(13,679 posts)
51. It sounds as if both he and you possess the strength for this journey. May
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 04:30 AM
7 hrs ago

The Universe take good care of him.

essaynnc

(998 posts)
57. Sorry for the loss of such a strong and wonderful guy !!!
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 08:15 AM
3 hrs ago

Warm thoughts and much strength to the both of you.

70sEraVet

(5,710 posts)
60. So sorry, Pacifist Patriot.
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 09:39 AM
2 hrs ago

Sounds like the world is losing one of its good ones!
I hope that when its my time, I will have deserved the love of my children as your father obviously has!
That's really the whole point, isn't it? To have loved, and been loved, well.

maliaSmith

(216 posts)
62. Your dad
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 11:24 AM
32 min ago

I'm sending lots of hugs to you, and your family. First, I say thank God for Hospice. My wonderful sister had her last days with us with Hospice help. It's so sad to lose our family members, but with Hospice help, we can share last days while our loved ones are comfortable at home. Remember the wonderful times.

Buzz cook

(2,934 posts)
64. Hospice was the best thing that happened to my dad.
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 11:39 AM
17 min ago

The quality and amount of care increase dramatically.

gopher fixer

(4 posts)
65. I wish that everyone had what your family has
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 11:46 AM
10 min ago

You really do sound blessed. I hope that at the end no one in your family is burdened with thinking about politics. There will never be enough stability in American political life to make it feel like anyone has "won" anything, so there's no point pinning happiness to it. Even if he was able to arrange it so that he passes on the best day of Obama's Presidency there'd still be some bummer to fuss over, some republican storm cloud on the horizon. This world and the White House and every last seat in Congress will burn eventually, but I have to believe that love is eternal, I hope your family focuses on that when you release that beautiful man to eternity.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»My dad has been referred ...