Fox & Friends: “Unfair to the Job Creators - 650,000 Homeless Pay No Income Tax!”

[20score]

“I want to start this segment out by bringing up something that the main stream media never tells people about,” said Steve Doocy, wearing a half crooked smile and a bright yellow tie. “Apparently they don’t want anyone to think about the fact that there are 650,000 homeless people out there, living high on the hog and paying no income taxes whatsoever.”

“Meanwhile,” continued Brian Kilmead. “There are billionaire job creators paying ten, eleven, sometimes even twelve percent of the money they can’t hide in the Cayman Islands… It’s unconscionable!”

“Exactly!” Gretchen Carlson said, sporting a wide eyed, ‘You know they’ve landed’ grin. “Of course everyone now agrees that the disabled, those living on Social Security and the working poor need to pay a lot more. A LOT more, but the homeless, they’re not even mentioned. They have some powerful liberals working on their behalf in Washington and it’s time someone shined a great big spotlight on this gaping hole in our tax system.”

“It’s a cover-up that we on Fox & Friends aren’t afraid to tell you about,” Steve Doocy said, picking up without a pause. His eyes revealing his mind is devoid of thought. His, ‘Patented secret to being a successful news anchor,’ according to his soon to be released autobiography, Don’t Think! “We just know that George Soros is behind this. Liberal, socialist, left-wing, Nazi, anti-capitalists like Soros are always trying to figure out ways to hurt real Americans by helping those that already have it too easy… No taxes at all. It just burns me up!”

“You’re so right, Steve,” said Kilmead, almost bouncing in his seat. “Soros and the homeless thought they had the perfect dodge, but no more. Now that Fox & Friends have uncovered this, it’s time for everyone to get outraged!”



By: 20score

[Sherman A1]

1. The outrage

is that there are 650K homeless in this country.

[suede1]

41. Funny how it never gets talked about in any meaningful way.

[punkin87]

2. Wondered when they would start to pick on the homeless.

LOL 20score!

[11 Bravo]

3. I will not be fooled again! This is not The Onion, this is the work of a stone-cold DU genius!

Seriously, dude, you could make a good living writing this kind of amazing satire!

[20score]

9. You have made my day!

Thank you, Bravo!

[hedda_foil]

4. Very funny satire. Did you write it yourself?

If it's your own original material you deserve some major DU props and kudos. If you found it online, please share the link with us. It's VERY funny!

[20score]

15. Mine. And thank you!

[NewJeffCT]

5. This is a joke, no?

and, how are homeless people living "high on the hog" if it's not?

[Skittles]

6. this is sarcasm, right?

it has to be - no one could be THAT stupid

[Lady Freedom Returns]

11. Fox & Friends...

Yeah, they can.

[Quantess]

7. What's next?

Bemoaning the fact that homeless people are stealing our oxygen, but the silver lining is that those bums are chock full of delicious meat ready to be marinated and BBQ'd. Time to "liquidate" the homeless' assets and fire up the grill!

[99th_Monkey]

8. It's customary to include a link, unless you are the author of the text in OP. ~nt

[Lady Freedom Returns]

10. HIGH ON THE HOG!!!!!

Sleeping in parks, wearing the same cloths for a month, not sure where the next bit of food will come from, degrading yourself for a quarter.
The homeless don't make any money! Those DUMB "JOB CREATORS" WON"T HIRE THEM!!!
I want them to live 2 months with only a $200 Food Stamp card on the street. Do it during winter so they can get the full effect. Then they can say something.

[roamer65]

12. Fox & Fascists...that would be the correct name for them.

[NashvilleLefty]

16. Wouldn't that be redundant?

[Cha]

13. the Stupid Burns with that group of murdoch pimps.

[jpak]

14. here's the video

[20score]

49. What, no link?

Just kidding, couldn't help myself.

[GObamaGO]

17. What part of homeless do they not get over there?

Homeless and living high off the hog are mutually exclusive last time I checked.

On edit: Never mind. You got me.

[suede1]

18. Give it a few months, this won't be satire anymore. n/t

[20score]

24. Always afraid to give them ideas.

[jillan]

19. It's hard to know what is satire and what is reality anymore when it comes to faux.

[deafskeptic]

20. I know! I was wondering if this was from the Onion. nt

[20score]

42. Thanks!

[riverbendviewgal]

21. outrageous

But they are idiotic to actually say all this.

[hbskifreak]

22. nice

This actually does sound very much like something coultre would drivel about. Great job again 20score.

[20score]

37. Ski Freak!

Thank you!

[longship]

23. It's worse!! They pay no property taxes!!!

How dare they dodge all those taxes! They are ruining this country!! Ruining it, I say!

They all belong in prison. And throw away the key.

(I'd better this post.)

[trof]

25. I'll betcha they don't have auto insurance either.

FREELOADERS!

[LoisB]

26. You sure had me fooled. It actually sounds like something one might hear from them. Fantastic!!

[20score]

33. Thanks much!

[tblue]

27. Either there's a missing link, or this is from The Onion.

No one could be this awful. Not even Fox & Friends. Please tell me this is a joke or this country is too stupid for its own good.

[thelordofhell]

28. What about babies??

Those freeloadin' sons-a-bitches get away with murder in this country

[krispos42]

29. If they're so good at their job of being "job creators"...

...there wouldn't be any homeless and unemployed.




Pity the millionaires and billionaires!

[bluethruandthru]

30. LOL! We should all post this on Facebook as "fact" the way the righties do about

whatever their latest made-up "liberal outrage" is!

[20score]

34. ...

[hrmjustin]

31. I wonder where they found these idiots from?

[Pretzel_Warrior]

32. Nice

[mountain grammy]

35. Oh, I know plenty of people who would believe this.

[punkin87]

50. Thing is, they would do it if they could figure out a way how.

[NutmegYankee]

36. I think we need to coin Fox & Friends as the first Unthink Tank.

What a clueless bunch. It's like their 1.5 Watt Christmas light bulbs in a 100 Watt world.

[Turbineguy]

38. So......

people are homeless just so they don't have to pay taxes? What a clever plan! I could save a shitload of money by being homeless. Would it be OK if I kept my job? How does that work? But wingnuts don't want to pay taxes either. Does that mean they want to be homeless and get kicked and abused by their fellow wingnuts who aren't smart enough to figure out what a windfall being homeless is?

[Initech]

39. Tax people with zero income - sounds like something a cold hearted conservative would do.

[locks]

40. This is for real, believe it or not

Today on FOX Saturday Business show, the panel spent some time crying for France as they are sure France will soon be bankrupt if it raises the highest tax rate on all their millionaires and billionaires; they all will undoubtedly take citizenship in another country as Depardieu is doing. Then one of their "financial experts" (Nobel in economics I'm sure) said "It is not fair that so many people in the US pay no taxes; it means that they will never vote to decrease taxes because they depend on the government to take care of them. If they had to pay taxes they would have a stake in how the government is run." The next genius said, "That's why I'm for the flat tax; because it's so fair. Everyone pays the same percent of their income."

Took me a few minutes, since I don't have a PhD in econ, to figure: if my income is $20,000 (more than the minimum wage) and the often suggested flat tax rate is 10% I would pay $2,000 in tax, leaving me $18,000 to live on (without, of course, the free higher education and health care the French enjoy).
If your income is $200,000 you would pay $20,000, leaving you $180,000 to live on.
If your income is $2,000,000 you would pay $200,000 and you would have to make do with $1,800,000.
I couldn't go higher as my calculator is old and I was weeping for Depardieu.

[20score]

43. Wish they understood how unfair that would be.

[punkin87]

44. "soon to be released autobiography, Don’t Think!"

Love it!

[suede1]

45. kick

[JHB]

46. Is this from The Onion or some other satire site?

This is laying it on thick even for Doocy.

[20score]

48. It's mine.

[spanone]

47. 'living high on the hog' ?...yes, you faux dumbfucks, we all aspire to the wealth of homelessness

[MADem]

51. Harrumph--and those layabouts aren't contributing to their communities by paying property taxes,

either! Buncha Lucky Ducks, wouldn't you say??

Here it is!!!!

It only takes one to not take my actual point!