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[backwoodsbob]

This message was self-deleted by its author (backwoodsbob) on Sat Jan 12, 2013, 08:02 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[stevenleser]

1. Lets back up a minute...

1. Are you going to Virginia with the express purpose of visiting her family?

If so, why? Not just why but WTF why? Cancel the trip. Period. Dont go near them.

[Democratopia]

4. You have a good point. However, the OP should not control what his wife chooses to do.

[stevenleser]

27. Where did I suggest control? I dont have enough information to even suggest it. I dont know, for

instance, whose idea the trip is.

[FarPoint]

41. You didn't suggest control ....sometimes folks read what they "feel" ....

I like your suggestion....setting healthy boundaries....there are other options.

Co-dependency no more stuff.

[Democratopia]

53. You said "Cancel the trip. Period." Sorry, but that would be trying to stop his wife going

or, at least, making it more difficult for her to go. I wouldn't treat my wife life that, if she had finally revealed something so devastating.

[backwoodsbob]

6. her parents are near death

she wants to spend time with them

[stevenleser]

35. Then I agree with posters down thread. Do not stay in the same house. And do not drink alcohol. nt

[brush]

47. Exactly right. DO NOT GO! nt

[Democratopia]

2. Gee that is terrible. How long ago did this happen?

[hrmjustin]

3. I am so sorry to hear this.

I understand your feelings completely. All I can say is do you guys really have to visit these people. Maybe she told you so that you will tell her it is ok not to go visit these people. I am so sorry for you guys that this happened to her.

[Takket]

5. why in the world is your wife taking you to visit her rapists????????????????? nt

[orpupilofnature57]

13. +1000 !!!!

[BlueJazz]

7. Christ!...you're a better man than I am. I could not go...could not go.. to see them.

At some point, I might lose it and blow up at them.

I couldn't take the chance...but you know yourself..

[backwoodsbob]

17. you have no idea

taking lots of alcohol with me

It's killing me

[darkangel218]

22. Both of you need to stay in a hotel/motel, whatever.

Just don't stay at her parents house.

[FourScore]

25. Alcohol would NOT be my recommendation. n/t

[LeftofObama]

32. ^^This!^^ n/t

[darkangel218]

8. I wouldnt go, if i was you.

I guess your wife somewhat "forgave" them, if she's willing to visit. But if it was me, I would stay as far as I could from these monsters.

[Democratopia]

12. Yes, but if you were in that situation, wouldn't you want to be there so you could protect your wife

[darkangel218]

19. When i said i wouldnt go, i was refering to both of them!

Of course he's not gonna leave his wife alone!

[Democratopia]

34. Well, it isn't right that he should control who his wife can see. Whatever they did, however bad it

was, she wants to go. He is her husband. He has a duty to support her. He needs to try to understand it, understand why it has taken all this time for her to tell him, to be there for her and give her the support she needs. In other words, he needs to be a good husband.

[darkangel218]

51. Im not teling them not to go, i said I wouldnt, if it was ME.

He posted this so could get our input and opinion, no one is telling them what to do.

God...

[WinkyDink]

9. AWKWARD! No, seriously? You'd best discuss this trip further.

[orpupilofnature57]

10. I can't answer your question, so why would you go ?

She is doing worse than bomb dropping, she's asking you to revisit the Criminals .

[backwoodsbob]

36. she is strong

I am worried about me

[tridim]

11. OMG I'm so sorry.

The woman I'm courting recently told me she was raped, I felt the same way about her attacker. It's not a good feeling.

I don't have any advice, but good luck.

[RobertEarl]

14. Your wife forgives them?

Sounds like she wants no revenge?

[darkangel218]

15. If you still go, i would rent a hotel room, and only visit during the day

It could really hurt your wife psychologically to be in such a close proximity with them.

[stevenleser]

29. WTF?

[orpupilofnature57]

31. Whaaa? Every woman ?? What planet or Century are you from ???

[karynnj]

40. Every?? Most??? You know ONE Case - it is not the norm

and it is extremely ridiculous to say that most women are emotional and erratic. I am fortunate to have been surrounded by women who are completely the opposite - as a daughter of a strong incredible woman who had 7 strong, not erratic daughters -- and 2 sons who would never say something like that and who both have strong capable daughters.

[stevenleser]

42. I was wondering if my eyes were failing me because no one else seemed to be responding to that.

[MarianJack]

18. All of my sympathy and support to your wife and you.

Why do you have to associate with these horrible people at all?

PEACE!

[yellerpup]

20. If your wife has relatives she feels she must

see, then get a room in a town nearby instead of bunking with family. She may decide that 20 minutes is quite enough and you can just go home.

[graywarrior]

21. Your wife needs your support if you do go

Maybe talk to a rape counselor?

[NoOneMan]

23. That trip is poison

[dballance]

24. That is terribly unfortunate

However it's not exactly unusual. It is still so prevalent to blame women for their rape because they were being "provocative" or dressing too sexy. As a society we demand women dress provocatively then punish them for it. It is just so disgusting.

[darkangel218]

26. +1.

[Son of Gob]

28. I tend to question the veracity of anything coming from

a poster who links to a Hitler was a leftist website.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022165540#post8
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1240202805

or that Gun Control Advocates are murdering Gun Enthuisiasts
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2167631
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2167445

Any story from you should be taken with a 10 ton grain of salt.

[leftstreet]

38. LOL that was him?

I knew this OP smelled like bullshit

[orpupilofnature57]

43. Good eye !!! I thought something Stunk in Denmark

Freeper !

[greatauntoftriplets]

49. I'm surprised that I had to read so far downthread before someone made the connection.

Have some

[Warpy]

30. Stay in a motel.

it's cheaper than a defense lawyer and bail.

[SummerSnow]

33. Oh my :(....Don't go....

If you go the tension will be great.They will notice. Then if one of them ask you what your problem is...then all hell will break loose.Nothing good will come from that visit. STAY FAR AWAY! !!

[avebury]

37. Killing them is not a good idea.

You might want to consider having a chat with any of the brothers' spouses to alert them to the danger that their husbands might pose to any young girls, particularly any daughters. Your wife might not be the only victim out there.

Of real concern is whether or not you have any children. If I had children I wouldn't want them anywhere near people like that.

Does your wife really want to spend time with these creeps or is she doing it out of a sense of guilt that you spend time with your family no matter how horrid they have treated you in the past? Your wife's family has lost all right of expectation of maintaining a relationship with her by their treatment of her in the past. Did her mother come to her defense at the time?

[Jack Sprat]

39. Just remember your Ma's words.

Don't take your guns to town, son
Leave your guns at home, Bob
Don't take your guns to town.

[orpupilofnature57]

45. Get a life Troll .

Sound like your kind of people lob .

[arthritisR_US]

46. Don't drink in their presence, it will lower your

inhibitions and could net you a world of grief. Just tell yourself that they are sick fecks who don't merit your time of day. Pathetic peons in your presence and nothing more. Take care and I will be sending strengthening vibes to you and your wife

[morningfog]

48. Hope they fair better than the dog.

[tavernier]

52. Fa la la la laaaa

la laaa laa laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa