On changing tires for people

[noamnety]

I work with teens, and one of the things I've discovered is most of them - male or female - have never been taught how to change a tire. I've had students track me down outside of school to tell me they have a flat and don't know what to do.

I could change it for them, but what I do instead is talk them through the process - but have them do the actual work, so they know for next time. It's really not any different than how I would want them to learn in a classroom - learn by doing. That way the next time they have a flat they won't feel scared or incompetent, or have to wait to be rescued, or be at the mercy of a stranger, which has an element of risk.

Once, a group of my students found me while I was performing at a Rennfest. They had driven the last few miles on a flat, with the idea that once they were there they could find me and I would bail them out. I went out to the parking lot with them during my break. We got out their tire iron from the trunk and a guy came over determined to help us out by doing it for us. I waved him away and told him we got this. I really wanted the kids to do it. He kept insisting he would do it for them. In the end, amidst my kids' shocked faces, I held up the tire iron in a threatening gesture, while wearing my floor length red velvet gown - full rennfest costuming - and told him to leave us alone. The thing I want to emphasize though is that it wasn't about sexism on my end at all, it was about the difference between treating newly licensed teens like they aren't able to do simple tasks that every driver should know, vs. empowering them.

I've had kids follow me on their spare back to my house, then I've shown them how to find the leak, pull the nail if that's the cause, and how to plug it.

Sometimes things are about being polite (holding a door). Sometimes things are about realizing someone is lacking confidence or knowledge to perform a basic task. Next time you all come across someone (male or female) who's stranded because they don't know how to change a tire, offer to help - but think about helping by talking them through all the steps. You'll feel good about helping, and they'll drive away with a feeling of accomplishment.

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. Or you could just buy a road service plan

Mine is $3 a month.

[noamnety]

2. Alright, I'll make an exception for that.

If you are the road service plan person and get called to change a flat, you should probably just go ahead and change it instead of making the driver do it!

[datasuspect]

5. onstar

came with the car i bought, plus road service from the vehicle manufacturer, road service through insurance carrier, plus IDOT minuteman trucks that will stop and help stranded motorists, plus i think you can even dial 511 or something.

and carrying a handheld CB doesn't hurt.

[winter is coming]

7. Which is good if you get multiple flats or have other issues,

but for a single flat, it's faster to just change it myself.

[datasuspect]

8. depends on how drunk a person is

[Curmudgeoness]

11. Yeah, I used to have one of those too.

After sitting there for 2 hours waiting for the road service to show up to do something that I could have done in 15 minutes, it seemed to me I was an idiot.

I will say the only problem that I have with changing a tire is getting the lug nuts loose. There is always one that just will not budge.

[alarimer]

18. Get a breaker bar.

I think that's what it's called. What you need in that situation is more leverage than the typical tire iron can supply. Some kind of long pipe anyway helps.

[datasuspect]

3. why would you hold a tire iron in a menacing/threatening manner toward a complete stranger

who just wanted to help?

i can understand your passion in working with these young people to help them learn some kind of life lesson, but menacing a stranger who wants to help?

it makes no sense.

[noamnety]

4. I think it was clear I wasn't going to attack him.

Sadly, it was also clear he wasn't going to take a firm repeated no as an answer. I needed a moment of drama.

[alarimer]

17. You don't know that they just want to help

Sociopaths are very good at faking friendliness to get close to people, for example.

It is easier and safer to do it yourself.

[datasuspect]

19. i can tell within 3 seconds if someone means to do harm

if you're in a parking lot at a festival or concert, with a throng of kids around you and possibly nearby crowds, most sociopaths would probably look for lower hanging fruit.

faking friendliness to help change a tire in a parking lot to get close to someone one? does not compute. makes no sense.

[noamnety]

24. Yeah, I didn't feel physically threatened in that location

It was more that if someone offers to help, my first reaction is they are an awesome person.

And then if it's something I really want to handle myself (or in this case have the kids handle), then I'll nicely decline. I'm used to a bit of the "Are you sure - really I don't mind" dance. But this guy really wasn't taking no for an answer, and at that point it goes beyond nice to controlling in a way I don't appreciate. On his end it likely was a bit of sexism. I understand assuming that women don't know how to change a tire; it's not a typical gender skill. But it became more of an issue of him not allowing women to do it, and that wasn't an attitude I was willing to have my students accept, or see me accept. In the moment, I was costumed as a "damsel" - but in real life I'm an ex-army sgt.

That's when I turned from No thanks to FU GET AWAY FROM US. If the kids' response to a flat is to drive on it for miles until they find an adult they know, the most important thing long term is to give them the skill to change a tire, rather than the short term easy fix of letting someone do it for them.

[snooper2]

6. what zip code do you live in?

75077 is different from 63028..

[noamnety]

9. I'm not sure I get the question.

If it's a class issue, I've got students from rich and poor areas, and all of them are more than capable of changing a tire; all of them are likely to be driving through either an unsafe or desolate area at some point in their lives. It's just a skill drivers should have.

[auntsue]

10. My dad used to say

no daughter of mine is going to be crying on the side of the road over a flat tire. So as we were ready to drive, tire cahnge traing was a part of the drill. Quite a few times I have been so glad of that training. It feels good to say..I got this.
I am right with you about teching a skill rather than doing the task. When I was a nanny the 5 year old came to me to replace some batteries in a toy...instead of just putting them in, I showed him how to see which way they go.
When I was about 7..I threw a ball to my dad and he said "ah you throw like a girl" I said, "I AM a girl". He said, "That's no excuse...her let me show you how to throw where you're lookin'." He never treated us as if girls were incapable. AND when a son finally came along it was the same and the boy got to learn "girl stuff" too.

[Squinch]

30. Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy! Your father sounds like my father!!!

"No daughter of mine" was one of his favorite expressions, because he had a lot of daughters.

He also didn't let us get our licenses unless we could change a tire, and made sure we could take care of ourselves in a million other ways.

You and I were very lucky.

[sibelian]

31. PROPER DAD.

I like him.

[fizzgig]

35. my dad was the same way

he taught me how to change tires and my oil, how to split wood and build a fire, and how to throw a football. now i need to get him to teach me how to carve a bird.

he didn't want sons, he wanted daughters who could take care of themselves.

[msanthrope]

37. I think your dad was related to mine. First thing I learned, then on to jumping a car, and gapping

a sparkplug.

[nadinbrzezinski]

12. We had to change the one in the ambulance.

Take my word for it...much harder than the car.

You can as the same about using jumper cables

[benld74]

13. 2013 began with me changing a tire

for a woman and her daughter at a self serve station. The lug nuts were soooo tight I had to stand and bounce on the wrench to loosen them. The station attendent tried but couldnt. After I got the tire off, the attendant and I put the spare on for her. She tried to pay us but neither one took anything from her.

[noamnety]

26. I showed the kids to do that!

Yes! If you're showing someone how to take off a tire and it comes off fairly easily, you should still mention that you might have to jump on the bar, in case they ever need to know that!

[Aerows]

28. I changed a tire for one of my friends

that way LOL! It worked like a charm.

[BlueJazz]

14. The problem is, many teens encounter rough times and rough roads thru life and...

..., after all the pressure to excel, it might be hard for them to change.

[Lordquinton]

21. That's why we teach them well

It's hard to excel if you have everyone telling you to do it, but no one telling you how, and that is what this person is showing.

[Mopar151]

15. Just say no to the dumbdown!

Most folks ain't stupid, til' they get treated that way for a few years.....

[alarimer]

16. I learned how to do because I do not want some strange man stopping by to help me.

Sorry, guys, if I don't know you, I don't trust your intentions.

Besides stranger danger, there was the time I hit a pig on a deserted Texas back road near dawn in the fog. There was nobody around and I couldn't even see far enough to find a house or anything. I had AAA, but they take hours and I needed to be somewhere.

It is faster and easier to do things for yourself than to rely on others. NEVER, EVER rely on other people for anything. And certainly don't rely on the "kindness" of strangers. Because they are not kind usually or well-intentioned,

[Fumesucker]

22. It's my understanding that even if you know us you shouldn't trust us

Aren't most rapes committed by some man the woman is acquainted with?

[Curmudgeoness]

33. Although I agree that we should be able to do this ourselves,

I have been in situations where that "strange man" did stop to help, and I will continue to be optimistic about the people who will stop to help.....even though I am generally a half-empty sort of person.

I will never foget the time that I had a flat, changed the tire, only to find that the spare was flat. (Tip, always check your spare too.) I cannot tell you how many people passed me by, but it was a lot. Finally, a big guy on a motorcycle wearing colors stopped, and (OMG) he was even black....and he was the nicest person. He even took me up the road, with the tire, to a gas station, then took me back to the car. I will just say that it was really pretty funny to carry that tire on a motorcycle, and yes, I was scared when he first stopped. But I have learned that the world is not as dire as we think it is.

[Lugnut]

20. My father wouldn't sign for my leaner's permit until I knew how.

He showed me first then stood back while I did it myself. I also had to learn how to check the fluids. Another thing my dad did for me was to never tell me there was something I couldn't do because I was a girl.

[noamnety]

25. I wish my parents had done that.

I didn't learn how to change a tire until I was an adult. I lucked out and never got stranded with a flat, but my husband showed me how - he sat in a lawn chair in the garage and cracked a beer and talked me through doing a brake job on my car. That might sound funny, but I really appreciated that.

[Fumesucker]

23. I'm a biggish guy who knows how to use my weight and strength in that situation

And I've run across wheels I couldn't get off a car with normal hand tools because some moron (almost certainly male) overtightened the lug nuts with an air impact wrench.

Hell, I've seen them so tight it wrung the stud off when trying to remove the nut.

That being said I did teach my daughter how to change a tire before she started driving.

Oh, and to the person who said to get a breaker bar, that doesn't always work with the lug wrenches included with the car, those are usually angled in such a way that if you put a breaker bar on the end they just slip off the nut and round it off which makes it even harder to remove.

[MineralMan]

27. I carry a 24" Long 1/2" Drive Breaker Bar,

a 6" extension, and a set of sockets in my vehicle at all times. I've not met an automobile lug nut I can't break loose yet. I have that with me, not because I need it to change a tire on my own vehicle, but so that I can help others, regardless of what vehicle they're in. I also have a commercial grade scissors jack in my car. It's amazing how many people's cars have no jack in the trunk. I also have a heavy-duty 12V compressor, since the spare tire in many people's cars hasn't been checked for years.

Three or four times a year, I find myself helping someone change a tire. That's why I carry those tools.

[alphafemale]

29. Loosen the nuts BEFORE you jack up the car.

And it is Righty Tighty. Lefty Loosey.

A rim is expensive. It is cheaper than your life.

Do NOT attempt to change an inside tire on an Interstate or other busy highway.

Drive...slowly to a safer place.

[csziggy]

32. Changing a tire was part of our Driver's Ed class

Which I took the summer I turned 16. The teacher had us park the instruction car under the big oak tree where my horse was tied (I rode my horse to Driver's Ed), and we took turns changing the tires. We basically rotated the tires - put the spare on one side, moved that tire to the next spot, etc. We only had four students at a time - the number that could fit in the car with the teacher - so each student got to do the process once by themselves.

Some of the girls were upset because they got their hands dirty handling the tools and tires. I was bothered since I think my horse was snickering at us as we worked in the Florida heat.

We also learned to flush the radiator and how to add antifreeze to the water; how to check the cells in the battery to make sure they had not dried out; how to jump a car from another one. The teacher didn't make us change the oil, but he explained how to do it and showed us how to check all the fluid levels and quality.

I've changed tires on horse trailers loaded with horses while parked on the side of the interstate. I don't change tires anymore - the new scissors jacks are too hard for me to crank. I miss the old jacks you could step on the handle to push up. When I was younger, I kept a small hydraulic jack in the truck to use instead of the scissors jack

Physically I just can't deal with attempting to change a tire anymore. I'm too old with too many things wrong with my body and I no longer have the strength to do the steps so these days I just call the road side service people.

[treestar]

34. Good for you and I think girls should learn all of that stuff

This is how sexists get excuses for claiming we are weaker. We don't learn these things.

Lots of men don't know how either.

[MindPilot]

36. A car dealer I worked at gave open to the public classes

A few evenings to teach basic preventative and emergency maintenance.

[Populist_Prole]

38. I helped a neighbor and helped him change a tire and I was struck with how completely...

mechanically un-inclined some people can be. I'm not just saying that as a motorhead, I'm talking common sense. I had to help him out because he was either going to injure himself or damage his car badly, but I made him do the work to help him in the future.

First off he comes over and asks if he could use my jack ( I have a 3 ton garage type jack w/wheels ) because his won't go high enough. I silently sigh inside and go with him to see what's wrong: His vehicle equipped bottle type jack is maxed out yet his SUV was raised nary a few inches. I get under there and look and his jack is beginning to crush his exhaust system. I asked why didn't he lift from the jacking points. Jacking points? he says. He thought you just put the jack under the vehicle and jack it, and that's that. I very pointedly told him the right way and why. I wheeled my floor jack over to his driveway and had him correctly jack his SUV, but I said "Aren't you forgetting something?" I advised him it's necessary to loosen the lug nuts before jacking. He was actually appreciative of me sharing that logic. Anyway he loosens them, and as he jacks, his SUV starts creeping down the sloped driveway. I got him two little wood blocks I used for mine and advised him to chock the wheels with them do the same, lest the vehicle roll clear off the jack and cause injury/damage. I actually gave them to him to keep. Finally I imparted the wisdom of correct tightening sequences for the lug nuts. I strongly advised him to get the flat repaired, so as to avoid being screwed the next flat he gets. That's the only tip he hasn't yet acted on as he's still riding around on his ( full size, but plain steel ) spare, preferring to regard a spare tire's main purpose as being able to hit the road again without paying for a tire repair/replacement.

Though I know he learned a useful skill, I was still vexed at his ignorance in the first place. I kept thinking to myself as I gave out advice snippets; "I have to TELL you this?

[HipChick]

39. A cop changed my tire for me..