If Only We Could Talk About Abusing Women Like We Do Abusing Cats

[ashling]

(and this is not just a way to get a cat picture into GD)

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/25/if-only-we-could-talk-about-abusing-women-like-we-do-abusing-cats/



I’m hoping many of you saw this story about Wendell Overton, a 10-year-old boy who came across a group of boys, ages 5-13, torturing a cat to death and who saved the cat. Because of Wendell’s intervention, Jackson the cat will make a full recovery from being thrown in the air and even run over with a bicycle.

The Outer Banks SPCA says the boy came upon four boys, between the ages of 5 and 13, who were throwing the cat in the air, running over him with their bicycles and squirting an energy drink in his face. view full article

I read about this story in three different places: Jezebel, Huffington Post, and Buzzfeed. I looked at the comments at all three places and found that the comments were restricted to two major themes:

What a great kid Wendell is and how we should all raise our kids like him.
What terrible little shits the cat-torturers were, complete with condemnation of a society that lets this behavior flourish.

Missing from the discussion: Wondering if the cat was asking for it by being so cute and easy to torture. Blaming male hormones or implying that because it’s so sexually gratifying to torture a cat, some boys can’t help themselves. Making excuses for the cat torturers by saying that they don’t understand the difference between playing with a cat who wants to play with you and torturing it. Claiming that while cat torture is bad, we shouldn’t be too eager to punish the cat torturers.

****

I’m guessing you can see where I’m going with this. To be blunt, men who rape women do so for the same reason that boys who torture cats do so: Because they’ve been raised to believe that dominating others makes you a big, tough man, and they take pleasure in exerting power over this being they’ve been taught is beneath them. Most boys don’t torture animals, but we aren’t confused about those who do. Even if they do find some kind of visceral satisfaction from it, we don’t think they’re confused and simply think they’re, say, preparing a meal. When boys torture animals in groups, we know that there was probably a ringleader who used pressure to “be a man” to get the other boys to go along with it. We also know some boys torture animals in secret, taking pleasure in the conquest of these animals. If you understand why boys torture animals, you understand why teenage boys and men rape. The same codes of masculinity and sadism are underlying the behavior, and I’m guessing the overlap between the two behaviors is really high, with a lot of youthful animal torturers growing up to become sexual predators who get a thrill out of conquering women, especially considering how much more cunning you need to dominate and control a woman than an animal.

[Matariki]

1. Yeah, great paragraph at the end

However, if the latter comment was written on a story about rape, you can rest assured that a bunch of “men’s rights” idiots would start screaming their heads off about how there is no such thing as “rape culture” and it’s just a few bad apples and this is “misandry” and the victim needs to “take responsibility”, blah blah blah.

[ashling]

3. Thanks for posting it

I couldn't get that in under the limit

[redqueen]

2. K&R

A lot of people in comments said that we should teach boys not to torture cats, specifically noting cultural changes that could be instituted to prevent cat torture. These people were not subjected to an angry flame war where they were accused of being stupid, called by misogynist or racist names, or told that they should be tortured themselves until they understood that the only way to stop cat torture is for cats to defend themselves. ...

[Blue_Tires]

12. Well, it's not as if the cat said "no"

For all you know, that particular cat might enjoy those types of activities!

Cats are notoriously hard to catch, and I'm guessing no cat would be around people she didn't want to play with??

[Stuart G]

4. I would say the same thing for children.

Child abuse stories get a day in the news... Then they are usually gone. very very sad. Sometimes I think we care more about cats and dogs, then women and kids...think about it..

[redqueen]

6. You missed the point. nt

[Floyd_Gondolli]

33. That's because people are a virus in tennis shoes

[sufrommich]

5. Great OP,Ashling.

[CarmanK]

7. SOUTHERN GOOD ole boys, torturing the weak and powerless to make themselves feel GOOD!

Pathetic, but they are part of the Southern culture that still promotes inequality among peoples. The macho male is a brute, and a coward. After all, it is the BIBLE BELT where the white folk went to church on SUNDAY and raped women and beat other humans from Mon thru Sat for ego and profit sake. The South has not risen from the darkness.

[redqueen]

13. GMAB... gang rape in Ohio, rapists being cheered in CT, college rapes covered up at colleges

all over... and I'm 100% positive the comments derailing threads about 'domestic' violence and rape are not all from the South.

this is not a Southern problem.

[freshwest]

14. Apparently RW pundit Zeigler is questioning the Sandusky conviction and may do the same on the

Stuebenville rape case, according to the link on the same webpage. Dancing around it but culturally, questioning the court verdicts. It's no wonder that victim gets death threats like the one in CT. The cruelty of good ol' boys is now mainstream media with a modern touch. Very much like racism but with the velvet touch - same results. I fear for this generation of young women and the next to come living in what these people are busy fashioning for America.

[LiberalLoner]

30. +1

[LiberalLoner]

26. +1

[eridani]

25. Ohferchrissakes!

Rape culture is NOT limited to any specific geographic area.

[BainsBane]

32. rape occurs in every region, state, and nation

in the world. Blaming it on Southerners is nonsensical.

[amuse bouche]

8. As George Taikei said

When a man is raped, no one ever asks 'what was he wearing'?

[OnyxCollie]

9. I regret

that I have but one Rec to give this thread.

[freshwest]

10. Really excellent piece and hopefully will make a difference. I've seen some articles online, just

by accident, working on 'the death of feminism.'

Even calling for some form Islamic society (not by Muslims, but no doubt by Islamophobes) to be installed here, to 'put women in their place.'

The preferred methods were as stated in the OP, but they even added, but unwilling to take responsibility for the suggestion, that physical violence would be employed to teach women their place in the world. I snagged the links, but didn't want ot post them knowing where it'd all end up.

This is all around the net, and in doing image searches for all kinds of things, I'm finding images of women being abused. Their torture is made into commerce with equipment, videos and instruction manuals being offered.

I saw a level of malevolence in some 'boys and men's rights' sites that I had trouble sleeping. Also calls for communities to be set up in such fashions. There is fiction promoting this, but life also imitates art - it is part of teaching people how to behave and what seems interesting and then tantalizing becomes reality.

So I put it out of my mind, as most people did with evidence of 'snuff' films in the past, and most put animal abuse out of their minds too, as they can't sleep either if they think of it.

At that risk of being said to miss the point, which I definitely do not, here is the picture of the boy in this story with the cat. This is a human being who knew innately that torturing a sentient being, and I see us as all the same, is not worthy of a human. This is who we make alliances with. These are the people who we need to hear.

The media is promoting the other version of humanity or inhumanity. Those who refuse to listen because their hearts are twisted, must be shown to be wrong, their actions punished by law. Instead, media exalts them and they are elected to rule us all like maniacs. I don't even know how we are to make this change, but I think this OP is an excellent start, because it cuts through all the other terms and goes straight to the heart of the matter. But those who know good should be recognized and invited to join us.

JMHO.

[eridani]

27. Lovely photo

Real men head-butt cats.

[LiberalLoner]

28. +1, beautiful post...there is so much rage and

As a woman it frightens me how strong the movement to put us women "in our places" has become.

I remember an Air Force Major General (now retired) forcing his staff to read an article talking about how not enough white babies are being born and how we must fight against that by eliminating contraception for females. It went on to point out the relationship between education of women and low birth rates and suggested we should eliminate education for women, similar to the way it was once illegal to teach black people to read.

The fact that this stuff is so open and so very popular, chills my blood. I hope we can fight against it but look at some of the posts even here and you will understand why I am so pessimistic.

[get the red out]

29. Excellent post

And the boy who saved the cat will grow up to be a very good man. The hate and torture attitude put out there, mostly directed at young males, is horrific.

I see stories of abuse of women, children, or animals and I lose sleep. They are so frequent and horrible these days I can't read all of them or I'd lose my mind.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. DU Rec

thanks, ashling

[smirkymonkey]

15. K&R

Thanks Ashling.

[BainsBane]

16. Excellent point

[BainsBane]

19. Again

You are compelled to create absurd exaggerations. No one but you is claiming all men are rapists. It is possible to talk about rape without attacking you. No one mentioned your name. No one said all men. But the fact remains that rape is a common crime that people trivialize. How is it possible to have no empathy whatsoever for the suffering of others? Everything in life is not about you personally. If fact, since we can assume you are rapist, this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you.

Do you run to every post about robbery and complain that people are accusing all men of being robbers? No. You don't. So why create false BS here? Try to have a bit of empathy for the experience of other human beings on the planet and don't imagine everything is directed toward persecuting you. That most rapists are male doesn't have anything to do with you unless you happen to be a rapist. GET IT?!!!!!

[Bonobo]

20. Kids who torture animals grow up to be sociopaths more often than not.

Rapists are also sociopaths.

To talk about this kind of behavior (as this article does) as if it one aspect of "masculinity" is disgusting.

What this behavior is is an aspect of sociopathy.

I made my comment to point out that absurdity, nothing more.

And again, can you please lay off the "this is not about you personally" thing? I never said it was about me and I don't think it is.

[BainsBane]

21. You constant accusations that people are accusing

all men of being rapists, when no one here says that.

Not all rapists are sociopaths. Not all murders are sociopaths. A sociopath is someone who does not experience a typical range of emotion. Some rapists have a great deal of anger, as do some murderers. They are not sociopaths.
The article talks about a TYPE of masculinity that centers around dominance. The point would seem to be obvious, since rape is about asserting power. That, I assert, is not all masculinity. Rather it is a warped version--indeed criminal--version of it. To equate all sexual violence with sociopathy is, however, factually inaccurate.

But the fundamental problem with rape, in my opinion, is not even the crime itself but the cultural reaction to the crime, which the article explores. The inevitable effort to blame the victim, particularly when she is female. But as I hope you realize, not all victims or rape are female; about 9% are male. I expect their experience is no better under a criminal justice system and broader culture that blames victims for their own assault. They may even feel greater shame because of the stigma associated with homosexual assault (thought about 1% of rapists are women.) The article centers around blaming the victim, which is an everyday occurrence in cases of criminal assault, even by the victims themselves, as that awful Salon editorial exemplifies.

[Bonobo]

23. Defending rape is disgusting. No argument here.

Steubenville (sic) was rape, pure and simple. Any defense of it by blaming the girl is disgusting.

Those boys ARE sociopaths in my opinion, because they were incapable of hearing or seeing the humanity of that poor victim.

I don't think you will see much argument about that here on DU.

I am self-deleting my snarky comment above.

[BainsBane]

31. Thank you

[quinnox]

18. my heart just melted, what a cute kitty

[Hekate]

22. KnR, ashling

[UtahLib]

24. Thank you for posting a very astute analogy. n/t