Investment funding required!

[Godot51]

I'm currently proposing the start up of several new, exciting firms dedicated to manufacturing the finest products for children:

1: Kiddy Car™. This company will make street legal cars with actual working engines and transmissions and everything exclusively for children. Due to their small size licensing will not be necessary.

2: AlKidhol™. This company will produce various alcoholic beverages for children, Honey Oats mead, Fruit Loops wine and "Butter" Scotch will be among our first offerings.

3: Tyro Porn™: Here we'll produce sophisticated films, videos and magazines (as well as online versions) for tots. "Little Debbie Does Dallas", "Emmanuel Gets a Pony" and "Finders, Keepers Deeper Throat" are already in pre-production.

4. TobakosRUs™: Child sized tobacco goods, little cigars-like products we're thinking of calling "cigarettes", as well as Prince Albert in the can and other fine offerings.

5. My Little Pistol™: (These may already be in production).

[Arctic Dave]

1. Yikes!

Brutal. Good commentary usually is.