General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy Grandpa's Funeral.
Just got back from NC a few minutes ago. It's a LOOOOONG damn drive from Hendersonville, NC. to Key Largo, Fl. 13+ hours.
I'm too wound up to go to sleep right now, so I thought I'd share with you folks a bit, if you don't mind.
My grandma died 2 years ago after a long slog dealing with dementia and several other serious physical ailments. My grandpa was relatively healthy, other than being nearly completely deaf and blind. He has been ready to join her since the day she died, but his body was too healthy until relatively recently. He stopped taking meds (other than painkillers) and had refused all treatments about 2-3 months ago.
His body finally let him join her April 29th, 2013 at 2:00 pm. He was 93.
At the service, there was a preacher, who also there for my grandma's funeral. He's known as the Pope of Henderson County. Reverend McKennish, I believe his name was.
He's known my family since the 30's, if not before. He had a million hilarious stories about so many of family members...bootleggers and preachers he says, and he was friends to them all.
Such a cool guy. Even though I'm an atheist, his words damn sure helped me and everyone else at the service. I hope to see him again, just not a funeral, I'd love to talk with that wonderful man for hours and hours.
During the middle of the service, they ushered his closest kin into a side room for a private prayer with the preacher and one of my cousins, Ronald, who is a deacon at the Balfour Baptist Church. when we walked back into the main room with everyone else and sat back down, there was a flag on the coffin. I knew he'd been in the Army Air Corps, so I didn't think much of it. But then I heard a note from what sounded like a trumpet. I thought it was the music from the CD my sister made to play during the service...again, I didn'y think much of it.
The I heard measured footsteps walking down the aisle, they belonged to an Airmen, two Airmen, and as they stood on each end of the coffin, Taps began to play. That note I'd heard before was the bugler. As it played, they folded up the flag, like you see in movies. They walked up to my first cousin, Art. They presented the flag to him on behalf of the President of the United States in honor of his service to our country.
We had all already cried several times before this...but that got everyone damn near sobbing.
I found out later at the wake, that my Grandpa had worked on a top secret project, developing Radar, and that he also helped receive like 200k wounded coming in from the Battle of the Bulge. There was more things he did that they told me, but those were the two that stuck in my head.
He never told anyone until my aunt, (who had done an essay for a local NPR show about my Grandpa a few years ago. She also wrote the song "Welcome Home Soldier" that is played at the Vietnam Memorial, but that's another story) had asked him what exactly he did in WWII. And he still didn't want to tell her. But she had found out that after 50 years, it had been declassified, and once she convinced him. He told her everything.
I had no idea my Grandfather was a war hero.
Holy shit.
*edit* sorry about the shitty speeling and grammer
Warpy
(110,913 posts)For instance, my paternal grandparents had a cross burned on their front lawn. I had no idea they'd managed to piss off the right people, they were always quiet and unassuming, although you don't get to have the career my grandpa did by keeping your head down and mouth shut.
That's hardcore! What did your grandpa do?
Warpy
(110,913 posts)and Superintendent of Schools during the Depression. He also taught music on weekends at home. He was a brilliant man who wore a lot of different hats during his lifetime. His brothers ran newspapers and went into politics.
I wish I'd known him better. He was born in 1870 and died when I was 12.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)He was kickass!
I wish I could have known him! Bet he had the COOLEST stories!
elleng
(130,156 posts)Just a year ago my Dad passed, and we buried him at U.S. Cemetery in Lake Worth, Florida. He too passed about 2 years after my mother did so, Mom having been ill with dementia and more serious maladies for a couple of years. Dad too, like your Grandfather, passed quietly.
Dad was in the Navy in WWII, not a hero, but Taps at the funeral did us in, too.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Sorry about your mom and dad. Dementia is such a horrible thing. So unfair.
It's sad to see loved ones go, but it is comforting to know they aren't suffering anymore. Sorry for stating the obvious. I'm just burned out right now.
My brain is all caddywhompus. Can't really think all that good right now, lol. Still feels like I'm in that damn car, driving down 1-95.
elleng
(130,156 posts)especially after such an event. I treated myself last year, stayed in Florida with family for a few days, near where folks had lived and I'd visited them. And I drove back down to FL last month to view their gravesite.
Feet on ground appreciating Spring now!
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Driving up there was the worst. Took 9 hours just to get out of friggin Florida. Heavy rain, gusty winds and idiot drivers. FUN!
Heading back was even worse, at least until I got to Georgia, then it was clear skies and open road. I was able to haul ass.
Where did your folks live?
Yeah, I'm glad to be back where it's warm. It was SO cold up there. I only took one pair of pants! I was thinking it was gonna be warm up there.
Nope!
elleng
(130,156 posts)and after Mom passed, Dad joined my brother and his family in Iowa. I live in the MD suburbs of DC.
All of the weather I experienced was good, so I have no complaints about that, but its clearly a matter of perspective! Must say I don't LOVE driving from MD to FL!
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)He was in the resistance in Poland during WW II. He told me the stories six months before he passed, and my husband before. He was right when he told me my mom, or my siblings would not get it...both my husband and I have seen combat, which he understood would let us get it in ways none in my family would understand.
What he did to keep his siblings and my grand father alive was war. It changed him, like war changes all. It was well beyond the foraging for potatoes trying to avoid German patrols. Trust me n that, it included potatoes.
My mom asked, foretaste. My dad was right. So my husband and I talk about it. We know it was a precious gift...but one we know, and that's it.
Go look for what he did, it's declassified... One way to honor them. And trust me, you asked him about that hero stuff...nope, it's the folks who never came home. That's the way it is.
To you and yours, on your loss.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Your dad was a hero for taking care of his family like that.
And thank you.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,310 posts)Because you were too wound up to go to sleep, you came here to talk to us.
How lucky we are to have been here to read this!
We learn these histories, and they help us understand what happened, and maybe even why.
It's a precious thing.
We are in your debt...
Safe passage to your Grandfather.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)It means so much to me to be able to let this out here. I was able to talk a bit with my older sister and our cousins about my Grandpa, but there was so much going on, none of us were able to really sit down and unwind. The last time I got to see everyone was for Grandma's funeral.
It sucks only getting to see everyone after someone dies.
I still need an outlet.
Lady Freedom Returns
(14,120 posts)That sometimes, heroes are right there next to us and we never know it!
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)That's why we should treat our elders with mad respect.
They've been through some serious shit.
Rhiannon12866
(203,041 posts)It's only appropriate that his family should know he was a hero, and what a perfect tribute, as is your post...
Both my grandfathers served in WWI, but they both passed away long before I was born... How fortunate you were to know your grandfather and learn this essential part of his story. You must be very proud...
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)My other Grandfather died in WWII, on the Russian Front. He was a Nazi. Not sure about anything he did, my dad is not very talkative about that. Or what he did during Vietnam for that matter.
I have a strange family, lol.
I still haven't got my head around all this yet, but yeah, I should be proud!
Rhiannon12866
(203,041 posts)You might want to do some research to learn more details. I have my paternal grandfather's WWI discharge papers, signed in his own hand and they say he was a "very good" equestrian. My maternal grandfather emigrated here from Poland at 18, was made a citizen and sent to fight in France. Family history is fascinating and you have an amazing legacy. Talk to your family members while you can. Nothing's better than personal recollections and I cherish the few that I have, wish I'd asked more questions while I had the chance...
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Yeah, I wish I could have talked more with my grandparents. But I moved away when I was 17, and didn't get many chances after that.
I won't make that mistake with my parents.
Rhiannon12866
(203,041 posts)I once attended an extended family picnic where my great aunt gave me my grandfather's WWI dog tags to give to my Dad. He was more than astounded when I brought them home, since he'd been there earlier and she hadn't said a thing. But seeing my Dad must have reminded her. Why she had them, I had no idea, but she'd been married to my grandfather's closest brother and they'd signed up together to serve.
Iwillnevergiveup
(9,298 posts)Your grandfather was an extraordinary man, and you must be so proud of him. What a touching service, and sounds like the Reverend added just the right touch.
Thanks for a great story that will undoubtedly pass down for generations.
And for your grandfather:
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Thank you.
Yeah, that Reverend is a hoot. Ya can't help but love the guy.
Oh, I don't know about this being passed down, but my Grandpa's badassery will surely be talked about for generations.
LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)Sounds like he had one hell of a fulfilling life. No matter what the others side is like, he isn't troubled by the world any longer. Unlike the rest of us.
RIP, old man.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Yeah, he's no longer in pain. He was such a tough SOB. Told the corniest jokes too. But he told them in such a way, it just as funny gettin to the punchline as it was when he delivered it.
And he made THE BEST marinade for bbq chicken.
ReRe
(10,597 posts)Many many WWII solders did keep their war stories to themselves. That generation of men were just different. Most of them were steady, dependable, always there if you needed them, were walking encyclopedias, and knew how to love for a lifetime. Seems like they could hold it all in without letting on. Like it would seem like bragging or something. They just couldn't go there. Maybe it was all so horrible and why would they want to tell such a horrible story? They wouldn't.
And how good it was to have that particular minister to share all those stories that you had never heard before about your grandparents and maybe your parents and aunts/uncles and cousins and even yourself. Then the Taps, and the flag given to your cousin, Art. I sense pride and peace in your words, Blarney. Hope your are asleep by now..
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)And I SHOULD be going in bed, lol. Soon. I swear.
I agree, that was a different breed of men and women.
I'm tellin ya, that preacher could do stand up comedy.
I think I am more at peace now. Still a lot on my plate, but knowing my Grandpa ain't hurting anymore is a huge weight off my shoulders.
ReRe
(10,597 posts)whopis01
(3,467 posts)You should read the book "Glide Path" by Arthur C. Clarke. It is all about the early use of radar during WWII. It is a fictionalized story based on Clarke's own experience working with radar during the war and using it to save lives of some of the returning plane crews at a time when it was still a top-secret project.
I thought it was an amazing story - I am sure that you would get even more out of it based on the connection through your grandfather.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)I was a voracious reader in my younger days, but due to excessive partying in subsequent years, I can't remember a lot of the classics I know I've read, lol.
I will see if I can find it at the library.
markpkessinger
(8,381 posts)My father and his two brothers were all WWII veterans. A bugler was played taps graveside at all three of their funerals. Does me in every time.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)Yeah, Taps, and Amazing Grace on bagpipes.
That one turns on the waterworks.