Well, Illinois has officially taken the weird title from Florida:

[Are_grits_groceries]

Ill. Man Accused of Sexually Abusing His Pet Peacock

Police who arrived at the home of a Illinois man to investigate claims of battery and attempted indecent solicitation of a child ended up tacking on an additional charge: Sexual abuse of a pet peacock.

Police in Roselle say the misdemeanor animal cruelty charge is related to David Beckmann's indecent solicitation of a child, but refused to elaborate.

Officers arrived at the 64-year-old's E. Devon Ave home to find Phyl the peacock dead in the garage.

Beckmann was arrested and booked into the DuPage County jail where he remained held in lieu of a $10,000 bond.
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http://gawker.com/ill-man-accused-of-sexually-abusing-his-pet-peacock-504480742

The mind reels.

[jberryhill]

1. One shudders to think of what may have been in his turducken

[LiberalEsto]

2. What a disgusting pig

That poor peacock...

[kestrel91316]

3. I am still trying to figure out how one sexually abuses a bird......

[Shrike47]

4. Sheep, on the other hand...

[NYC_SKP]

5. At 65 one suspects some form of dementia.

My stepfather exhibited some pretty odd behaviors before passed.

[NightWatcher]

6. Give us a week, we'll bring the trophy back to Florida

[winterpark]

7. Ditto. Fellow Floridian here.... People don't hear the half of our weird...n/t

[Scurrilous]

11. A good link for keeping abreast of latest crazy @#$%:

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

[Amaril]

12. Another Floridian checking in

Yep, any minute now, some idiot will issue the famous last "hey, watch this!" words (or the equally popular, "here, hold my beer!&quot , and the trophy will be back where it belongs.

[pinboy3niner]

8. They're charging him with Phylandering?

[Initech]

9. WTF! This might be the craziest story I've ever heard!

[KamaAina]

10. Tonight on the NBC Nightly News...