The two hands of God. Please come CAPTION Pat Robertson!!!

[skip fox]

Pat, Messiah of the Mind, Robertson is saying: "It's clear that Super-Storm Sandy was the result of God's wrath due to Eastern liberals pushing an unholy agenda replete with gay marriage, flag burning, and support of terrorists. . . . But the tornado in Oklahoma yesterday was an example of God's gracious mercy since so few were killed, and that was due to Oklahoma's pro-Christian leanings. . . . God's ways are a wonder!"

[LeftofObama]

1. "Give me just a second I'm about to explode!"

[Warpy]

2. And gawd said the Longhorns will win big this year

and I have placed an almighty bundle of cash on them for the season so gawd is a little broke right now so cash those guv'mint welfare social security checks and help gawd live.

[treestar]

3. Why is God punishing the Christians? ??

My mind may explode!!!!!

[Mnemosyne]

4. Pull my finger. nt

[longship]

13. DUzy nt

[demwing]

5. Pull my finger!

Oops...too late!

[Phentex]

7. Just as funny

as the first one I read!

[woodsprite]

6. Wait for it, Wait for it! Ahhh, that's better! n/t

[winter is coming]

8. Well, shoot. There's no sound. I wonder what "message from God" he's about to crap out.

I imagine God saying to him, "Who the fuck are you?"

[Turbineguy]

9. Verily I say unto thee

thou who art stupid enough to believeth in me art fucked. But send me some money anyway.

[Blue Owl]

10. Oh Lord, use both hands

n/t

[justiceischeap]

11. Rock On! nt

[Major Nikon]

12. Robertson seen flashing "sign of the horns" to devil worshipping fans

[Bucky]

14. God killed 285 people with Sandy. But the storm in Oklahoma killed only 24 (or 91).

The tipping point between God's Wrath and God's Mercy is some number between those two values. Officials are still estimating a final fatality count of 91, but the number of officially confirmed deaths has been downgraded from 51 to 24. We can represent the scientific measurement of God's Wrath/Mercy with the mathematical formula:

[div align="center"] 285 > W_G > M_G > ~ X | {24 < killed innocent people < 91}

Where "W_G" represents those killed because god was capricious in this holy wrath and "M_G" designates those innocents killied inadvertantly by God's storms attacks while He was showing how proud of us he was.

[VOX]

15. Brilliant! Thank you!

Math is tops.

[VOX]

16. Dear Lord: Please, please help me recollect the phone number of my dominatrix.

I'm in need of some of Your precious discipline.

[Arugula Latte]

17. "Just ate some chili...Give me a sec' to see which end God makes the bad chili air come out..."

[drkedjr]

18. I Wonder

What's it like to live such a delusional life?