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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsLouis CK nails the banking system: funny because it is true
Im broke, is anyone else broke? {cheers} You ever get so broke that the bank starts charging you money
for not having enough money? {laughs} Im fuckin broke, man.
The bank called me up, they said Hi, were calling you because you dont have enough money. I said, I know! They said You have insufficient funds, and I said, well, I agree with that. I find my funds to be grossly insufficient! Thanks for calling
{shrugs, audience laughs}
Why are you mad at me? I dont understand what
How is this something Im doing to you? She was like, Sir, you only have $20, thats not enough. You cant only have $20! I was like, look, Im not being broke just to fuck with you, I really dont have any money! Im not trying to be a dick, I just
my life is shitty! {laughs}
So they charged me $15, thats how much it costs to only have $20. {laughs} But here is the fucked-up part, now I only have $5! What am I paying the $15 for if I dont get to have the $20
that I paid to have! I paid the fuckin money, where is my $20? Thats like going to the movies, you pay for your ticket and they say Get the fuck outta here, go home!
But I paid for the movie? No, you paid for a ticket, motherfucker, you didnt pay for a movie!
You ever have negative money? Thats depressing, isnt it? You look in your bank account and it says negative $10, thats how much I have now. Negative $10. That means I dont even have no money now. I wish I did! I wish I didnt have anything, I wish I just had nothing, but I have less than that! I dont have none. I have not $10. {laughs} If its free, I cant fucking afford it!
Someone could come up to me, Hey, this is free! Fuck, that costs nothing! I cant afford that, thats more than I have! I gotta raise $10 to be broke! Thats not good. Thats bad! {laughs}
Apparently some of you are in the same fuckin position. {cheers, laughs} Hows your economy doin? Shit! Im glad you appreciate that story, not everyone appreciates that story. I told that story about a week ago in Orange County, California with all these rich motherfuckers lookin at me [
] theyre all lookin at me like, Well, yeah. You were financially irresponsible and had to pay the price. I dont frankly see why youre angry about it. The bank had the right to approve a fee, clearly.
Thats how different it is to be rich than it is to be poor! Cause when youre rich, the bank pays you for being rich! If you have a lot of money, they give you money! Because you have a lot of money! You have so much money that we should give you some! Because you have a lot, you should have more! Here, take more money! Take this guys $15, fuck him, you should have it! {laughs} He doesnt have enough, but you have a lot. {shrugs}
Fine, take it all you motherfuckers, I dont give a shit! You ever get so broke it just becomes funny to you after a while? Youre like, Jesus Christ! I have no fuckin money! Jesus! {laughs}
People call you, Hi, were gonna turn off the
. Fuck it! Turn it off, man! Turn it off, I dont give a shit!
When can you make a payment? I aint payin anything, what am I gonna fuckin pay you with? I fuckin sold the phone, I dont need it now. Damn it, man. Shits brutal.
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)surely someone like me has had a similar experience
TexasTowelie
(112,620 posts)when you spend your entire lunch hour writing checks at grocery stores for cash so that you can make a deposit at the bank to cover all the previous checks you've kited...and you do that all five days of the week.
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)I know now I am not alone
Sirveri
(4,517 posts)Passing bad checks and what not.
TexasTowelie
(112,620 posts)The time that it takes to process a check shrunk tremendously in the 90s so that riding the float was no longer possible. I'm at the point that I only write a couple of checks per month and I know that I have the funds in my account.
Snarkoleptic
(6,002 posts)arely staircase
(12,482 posts)lck speaks to me like no other current comedian. guess it helps I am a middle aged white male liberal. but the man is brilliant.
Snarkoleptic
(6,002 posts)I'm no fan of Opie and Anthony, but this is a great lck nugget on capitalism.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)I had hoped it would be on this summer.