Why Newtown is Different
(I hope this passes the exceptions rule on guns. I wrote it this morning after reading the New Republic article.)
I wouldn't have understood it before I had children. For the first thirty years of my life I considered myself a sane, rational human being. But once my son was born, and then my daughter, I began to understand that my youthful assumptions had simply ignored the suppressed tendencies that emerged once I was a parent, and I became a different creature altogether.
And what is that? An irrational, thoroughly untempered wild animal whose sole purpose in life is to protect the children I have borne. Nothing else matters. Ever. The impulse to protect our children outweighs everything, sometimes even the law, sometimes even our own self-preservation. I remember my husband trying to explain to my son why there were terrorists in the world. Without, of course, condoning violence, he attempted to illustrate the hopelessness that exists in some corners of the world, "What would you do if your child was sick, and the person who had the medicine that would save your child's life wouldn't give it to you, even though it would simply go to waste in his possession?" Naturally, our son couldn't understand, but he will some day. When he is protecting his own children.
As parents we all understand, even if we cannot empathize, the pain that the parents of the children at Sandy Hook Elementary have suffered. This doesn't assume that non-parents cannot also understand. Indeed I have friends with no children of their own who have adopted mine (pseudo godparents, or adopted aunts and uncles), and I believe they would protect my children as passionately as I would. The instinct is in all of us, and it is raw and fierce.
And that, I believe, is why Newtown is different. The fact that innocents were killed has never been enough. Even Columbine, which I think until now came the closest to tapping that wild-animal instinct, wasn't enough for us to all feel the hurt, indeed the betrayal, that Newtown instilled. Betrayal? Yes, the betrayal by our fellow man to not have somehow stopped this from happening. It wasn't bad enough that teenagers, who at least have stronger abilities to protect themselves, were murdered on our watch. But five-year olds? How did we let this happen? As parents we not only feel betrayed by each other, but ashamed of ourselves. We, none of us, can look the Newtown families in the eye and claim to have done enough. No shower in the world will wash away that stain.
And not only did we not protect the children! We didn't even protect the people who were protecting the children! The heroic efforts of the adult victims at Sandy Hook prevented even more children from dying, but they had to lose their lives to do it. Shame on us! How could we!?
Even after the horrific shooting in Tucson, the only two names I remembered for years were Gabriella Giffords and Christina Taylor Green. Christina was nine years old when she was gunned down. My own daughter was thirteen, and I could barely look at her that day without crying.
And the beat goes on. The ridiculous assertions of the NRA that what is needed now is more guns, guns in schools, and fewer gun restrictions are not only absurd on their face, they belie the almost daily drum beat of news about accidental shootings, domestic violence shootings, and shootings by gangs in turf wars or drug wars. Without guns, these wouldn't even be wars. Problems, perhaps, but not wars. We hear of shootings of police officers, fire fighters, and even civilians who simply want to help an injured person. We read of road rage shootings, drive by shootings, and shootings like the one that occurred in my own small town when a beloved husband, friend and father was senselessly murdered because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time when a disturbed man with a gun snapped.
Yes, Newtown is different. It is why the NRA is now on its heels. It's why Mayor Bloomberg feels compelled to spend his millions on stopping the next Newtown from happening, the next place name to become the name of a disastrous loss of life because someone was able to get their hands on a gun and ammunition too easily. Newtown, Tucson, Aurora, Columbine, ad nauseam. Where will it happen next? Throw a dart at a map, and that could be it…unless.
Unless we keep our promises to our children. Unless we keep our promises to ourselves and to each other to protect the most innocent and defenseless among us. Unless we stop the easy sale of guns and bullets to anyone with enough money. Unless we keep those assault weapons, those death machines out of the hands of the mentally ill, the immature, and the criminal.
"They want to repeal the second amendment!!!!" Cries the NRA, the most vocal front for the gun manufacturers. "They want to take away our guns!" they warn. Well, you're damn right we do! If you can't be bothered to keep it contained and safe from anyone too ill, young, drunk, careless or demonstrably evil getting their hands on it, then HELL YES! I want to take away your guns! I never again want your gun to kill your child or my child or anyone's child. If you're too lazy, stupid or just don't care enough to keep your instrument of death away from those who should not have it, then yeah, I fiercely wish to take away your gun!
Why? Because Newtown was different.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I'm more of a practiced whiner with good timing. 
You've really captured the sense of palms-to-the-heavens helplessness parents feel after Newtown. Well done.
I can honestly say that no news story has ever impacted me like the Sandy Hook shooting has. None. As tragic as tragic stories are--natural disasters, war, disease--this one takes the cake in terms of news stories that turn me into an emotional mess whenever I hear about it.
Much of this I ascribe to being a parent of two young children. Every time I see a parent of one of the children from Sandy Hook, my mind goes to very dark places. Extremely dark places, as if wondering what I would be feeling if God forbid I were in such a horrific, horrific situation.
And yet you see the gun lobby, as if nothing has changed. They haven't changed a single talking point or bumper sticker slogan. And they are repeated, ad nauseum, including by people on here.
Things need to change.
My feelings on the gun issue were only brought into further perspective less than two months ago when there was a shooting (murder suicide, to be exact) in the office right next to mine at my office building. The shooter was a legal CCW holder, upper class and well-respected in the community (a so called "law abiding gun owner"
, yet he managed to use his weapon to shoot his wife and himself. Hearing those gunshots and having to hide underneath my desk only brought home the issue of gun violence to me even more. It made me realize that while legislation is a very critical part of the solution, there also has to be an equally important change to people's thought process regarding guns in this country. There are way too many people own guns who arguably do not need them, and while you cannot ban private gun ownership entirely, you can ask that people re-evaluate their personal situation to determine whether they actually need the gun they have in their home, and whether their ownership of such a weapon is more of a threat than a help.
Thank you for posting this. I cannot recommend it enough (although DU rules only allows me to do so once 
). Please do not be discouraged by the short-sighted Morlocks who might appear here and utter the same old tired lines they have been uttering for ages now.
for your kind words. I'm so sorry you had to go through that shooting. It must have been terrifying.
My own experience that I alluded to in the OP is what happened to a good friend's family. She is a teacher at our local elementary school, and they had (have) two daughters who were elementary and middle school age at the time. We live in small ski resort town, and her husband managed the resort. We're a pretty close community. One morning one of the resort employees came into the locker room where everyone was preparing for the day. He had a gun and was waving it and crying out some religious crap. They were all paralyzed with fear. He shot once into the ceiling, and so Brian came into the room asking what was going on. The guy pointed the gun at him and said something like "are you Christian?" He replied "I'm Catholic." The shooter fired once into his chest, killing him almost instantly.
Fortunately one of our own local Sherriff's dept. officers who lives near me, got the call, and was able to stop--actually, kill--the shooter in a shootout a short time later.
Our whole town was just destroyed. It was unbelievable. It has taken years to try to cope, and both my friend, who still teaches at the elementary school and her daughters have had a rough time. Even the Sheriff's deputy still has some emotional issues about the shooting. I believe he's a hero, but I think the incident changed him.
Didn't mean to ramble, but thank you again for your very kind words. Peace.
Got auto nuked 
