"I'm outta here!" Please come CAPTION Michele (My Hell) Bachmann!!!

[skip fox]

Michele ("Who am I again?&quot Bachmann is saying, &quot blah, blah, blah) . . . some serve several terms and it's enough, whereas Queen Victoria was the longest running President of all time but that was in another country, and I will have had four terms which is almost as long as The Hundred Years' War, where Achilles had this wicked sword and spear who we remember on Memorial Day just a while ago, and my six years in Congress has been like an epic journey only without the Cyclops, unless you count my husband, like when . . . (blah, blah, blah)"

[ellenfl]

1. she's quitting, right? i just saw a snippet on the tv this morning.

wants to spend more time with her family, i bet. help marcus get through his therapy.

[dembotoz]

2. i have a new gig on tv-spritual advisor to honey boo boo

[malaise]

3. Still Crazy

[Arkana]

4. "I've just been offered a job at a cushy right-wing think tank. See ya suckers!"

[skip fox]

5. "(blah, blah, blah) . . . and I get tired of raising money because I think

it's high enough already like living as a Congresswoman in a glass house when you forgot to bring the stones since the Democrats are all singing "Sycophants for the Devil" so much I can't even sleep with my hundred-hour days, and speaking of immigration I wrote a bill that would keep foreigners from calling us foreign just because we were in their country but my advisors said there was no way to reinforce it, then some say I'm partisan, but I've never even been to Paris, and . . . (blah, blah, blah)"

[siligut]

9. You have to be careful about getting into the heads of crazies

But I admit, your chatter is hilarious

[pinboy3niner]

6. The media should investgate unAmericans

Like me. Oops!

[skip fox]

7. "the Benghazi cover-up which resulted in the deaths of four honorable, dedicated public servants"

Damn. She actually did say this!!! Check this Huffington Post link about 5:20.

(I've been out CAPTIONed by reality once again!)


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/29/michele-bachmann-retiring-2014_n_3350598.html


(To be fair, she first mentioned Benghazi then the "subsequent cover up which resulted in the deaths. . . ." The deaths, the syntax of her sentence maintains, are a result of the cover up. Incredible.)

[Tom Ripley]

8. I will be creating a dating website with Liza Minelli

Marcus says it will be fabulous!

[Ganja Ninja]

10. How to build yourself a career as a right wing talking head.

Step 1: Spend 8 years repeating the dumbest things you hear other right wingers saying.
Step 2: Quit, Resign in disgrace, Run for the hills.
Step 3: Send resume to major networks.

[skip fox]

11. "Some of my critics claim I have been Partisan, but that's not true.

I'm a lifelong Republican."

[hamsterjill]

12. Dontcha know

That Sarah and I are going to be corroborating on a cookbook/how-to-please-your-husband-in-bed manual. It's SO important for us to keep our husbands happy in the home and in the bedroom. Dontcha know!

[Liberal In Texas]

13. At least she's looking at the right camera this time.

However, probably only one in the room.

Adios, Michelle. Write when you get your Fox/Lobbying job.

[nadinbrzezinski]

14. Thanks for the money....suckers!!!

[LadyHawkAZ]

15. "How does the distance oversaw the terrific top?

The marketing of post-capitalist hegemony actively utilizes the phenomenalism of the unknown. The father joins the unkempt mind. When does the horrible regret drew the question?"

(for more fun with random sentence generators aka Bachmann Machines, try here and here)

[skip fox]

16. "(blah, blah, blah) . . . Well, the 4th of July used to be Memorial Day but they split off

like some television shows: Memorial Day is now the day we Americans remember the drafting of the Constitution, especially the 2nd Amendment and that the freedom of religion is not the freedom from religion, while the 4th of July got moved back so we Americans can celebrate what Columbus went through to deliver our Bill of Rights. . . . Christmas, on the other hand . . . (blah, blah, blah)."

[Bombero1956]

17. I don't always decide to not run for re-election

But when I do it's while under investigation by the FBI.

[Ikonoklast]

18. Those footsteps coming from the FBI must be quite loud now.

I don't think this will save her from prosecution.