New Jersey Children Forced to Shun Sad, Friendless Bear

[HarveyDarkey]

Bear the bear thought that, maybe, in New Jersey, he would finally make a friend. On Monday morning, he ended up in Montclair, not a bad little town, with its own art museum and a Whole Foods and big green backyards, perfect for a bear and his friends to play in. Scared and alone—his first time in New Jersey's 60th-most-populous municipality—he began lumbering around, hoping that a friend would find him.

Alas, all of his potential friends were immediately ushered indoors. The New York Times reports that children across the Montclair school district were ordered to be kept inside Tuesday morning, staring at the cloudless blue sky from inside their classrooms, like bears in cages. Preparations for a fun-run to raise money for Africa were postponed. Cool eighth graders' plans to discreetly smoke cigarettes behind the science trailer were put on hold. There would be no morning P.E.

"The Montclair Police Department has notified us that there have been bear citings in Montclair," the superintendent explained in a note to parents. Unfortunately, for many, the typo of "citing" for "sighting" overshadowed the importance of the communication. (In a subsequent note, the superintendent apologized for the error, saying she "[trusts] that it did not overshadow the importance of the communication.”)

But back to that wandering, woeful black bear. Each time he was spotted, police rushed to the location to sound horns and make noise at him; a misguided attempt to drive him toward a nearby wildlife reservation that only succeeded in creating a party vibe. The Times reports that the scene buzzed with "a general carnival atmosphere."

The bear wandered around near the Whole Foods, before he remembered he didn't have any money. He shimmied up a tree and imagined all the things he and his friend would say to one another, like "You're my friend and I love you." He stood in a backyard and waited for his life to begin.

http://gawker.com/new-jersey-children-forced-to-shun-sad-friendless-bear-511240635

[hrmjustin]

2. Welcome to DU my friend!

[In_The_Wind]

7. Hi ~ 556BI45

[img][/img]

[villager]

10. Black bears eat little kids? When the hell did that ever happen?

[eppur_se_muova]

18. list here ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_bear_attacks_in_North_America

[GreenPartyVoter]

22. Thank you. I will sleep well tonight, knowing we have black bears in the area.

[HarveyDarkey]

11. The bear wasn't "wondering", but I'm wondering where you learned to spell.

Lighten up Jack, it's humor. Ever hear of it?

[Iggo]

12. I guess you don't.

It's alright. Shit goes over my head sometimes, too. Happens to everyone.

[Ian David]

23. I hate wondering bears....

What can it all mean? What is my purpose? Is this all there is?

[Archae]

3. What idiot wrote this article?

Black bears are WILD ANIMALS, not "teddy bears."

They can, and they have, attacked humans, including kids.

This is the results of learning about nature from Disney cartoons.

That bear isn't "looking for a friend," it's looking for food.

[blogslut]

13. sarcasm

[pnwmom]

16. Some "idiot" with a good sense of humor.

I got a lot of laughs out of this myself.

[Archae]

20. I guess I took it a bit too seriously.

Too many stories that are supposed to be serious, about PETA, I guess.

[pnwmom]

21. You probably don't read enough picture books to kids.

If you had, you'd probably have recognized the parody.

[chollybocker]

4. Was this before or after he announced the special election?

Beware the cuddly BEARS!!!

[petronius]

5. Aww, now I've got something on my eye...

for Bear


I like how the note below the author's picture - her expertise - just says "Bears". Gawker is far more specialized than your average media outlet, that's for sure...

[In_The_Wind]

6. Poor bear

[ColumbusLib]

8. This is awfully cute

I don't think the author seriously advocates children going outside to befriend the bear... It's just an imagining of the situation from a possible point of view of the bear.

[fishwax]

9. haha! cute. reminds me of henri the existential cat.

www.youtube.com/user/HenriLeChatNoir

But the article made me smile.

[Liberal_in_LA]

14. lol. hilarious. Yes, he'd definitely need money for shopping at Whole Foods

[NV Whino]

15. Ha! This cracked me up

By midmorning, the 18 month old animal had been tranquilized, tagged, and, in classic Jersey fashion, given a tattoo he would not remember getting (for identification purposes).

[eppur_se_muova]

17. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_bear_attacks_in_North_America

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_bear_attacks_in_North_America

... tempers the "humor" a bit.

[backscatter712]

19. East-coasters don't know how to deal with wild animals.

Try living in Colorado sometime.