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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSparks, Flames, & Fire
A boy comes to me with a spark of interest, I feed the spark and it becomes a flame. I feed the flame and it becomes a fire. I feed the fire and it becomes a roaring blaze.
-- Cus DAmato; legendary boxing trainer
Several times, over the years, Ive written that all of life imitates the sport of boxing on this forum. While many have responded negatively to this, I only say it with a slight bit of tongue-in-cheek. Last month marked fifty years since I fought my first amateur bout, and at least for me, most of my life has been intertwined with the sport of boxing. Indeed, the most decent group of human beings that Ive had the pleasure of knowing have been, or are, boxers. And the majority of other individuals who I rank with that group are in love with the sport.
But today, Im not writing about boxing per say. This isnt an essay that belongs on the sports forum. Rather, it is about that overlap of boxing and life, but where the sport is secondary to human beings. Its about something that happened last night, something I hope you will take the time to read
because its important
..at least to me.
Two nights ago, I had a phone call. A good friend from Philly is coming up to visit in about ten days, to promote his new book. Its the autobiography of Marvis Frazier, the son of the great heavyweight champion, Smokin Joe Frazier. Marvis was an outstanding fighter himself: he won national and world amateur titles, and only lost two professional fights -- to two great champions, Larry Holmes and Mike Tyson.
Ive had the honor of knowing Marvis for a few years. Hes met my younger son and older daughter, as well. While hes up here, we will be going to at least one gym, and hopefully three. Hell be evaluating my boy, who will be having a couple more amateur bouts, and then turning pro.
Last night, I drove to Binghamton, and went to two gyms with my son. He does 12-15 rounds in the first one; takes a half-hours rest; then does another 12-15 rounds in the second gym. I particularly like the first one; its in the basement of a church, where they have recently started up the Redemption Boxing Club.
There are very few new things in this world, very few. Thats why people that are young, if theyre smart, try to profit from the experience of an older guy so they wont have to go through all the pain and suffering. But a certain amount of pain and suffer is good, because it makes a person think theyve learned.
-- Cus DAmato
There were about 40 young men at the Redemption Boxing Club when we got there. There were also 5 young ladies training. Three older guys run the program; two of them are retired fighters. Ive known one of them since the early 1970s; he made his pro debut on May 19, 1975, on I card that I fought on. The other guy had also served as a sparring partner for heavyweight champion Hasim Rahman. The three of us have worked together before in another gym, that since closed. We are comfortable enough that we take turns with different fighters, knowing that we all teach the same general set of skills
..something not always true in this type of setting. Ive long thought that a boxing gym would make for a heck of an interesting sociological study in human nature.
I saw a young man hitting the heavy bag. He was doing okay, but making a few errors. So I asked if he minded if I showed him a few simple things to improve both his punching power, and his defense. He was happy to have me work with him.
After a few rounds on the bag, he could tell the difference. He told me that he was currently unemployed, but hoped to have a job soon; he said he wanted to know how much I would charge to train him? I said that as long as he was making the effort, Id be pleased to work with him. After a couple more rounds, he said there was something he needed to tell me: he had recently been released from state prison for stupid stuff. And so he was living in a homeless shelter.
I told him about how the sport is frequently a successful social program, that helps young men get their lives on track. That Id trained over 50 young boxers who had histories of problems at home, in school, and/or in the community. And that Id help him set up a program, outside the gym, to improve his life. Im glad to do that, I said, but I expect him to develop the self-discipline to make it work.
After doing a few more rounds, he said that since getting out, hes felt angry and frustrated. He doesnt want to be incarcerated again, but was confused why the system had relocated him from where he lived, to Binghamton. He said that he had just realized it was so that he would meet me, and have a chance in life.
That may sound unimportant in the grand scheme of life. But it is very important to me. It puts some responsibility on my shoulders, though he is the one that has to do the hard work. And that is one of the reasons why I say all of life imitates the sport of boxing.
monmouth3
(3,871 posts)I just got off the telephone with a close friend. Not surprisingly, he was an amateur boxing star, who won a handful of titles. He also is a DU "lurker," who has posted very rarely as "Mr. Baggins." We don't have the luxury of seeing one another frequently these days, and so he looks at DU:GD from time to time to see if I've posted.
He called to say that I helped a lot of people through boxing. It was great to get close to an hour to catch up with him.
monmouth3
(3,871 posts)and my friend tried to get into the gym to see him. We were about 12-13. Whoo hoo, what a mistake that was. The manager of the gym was not pleased with us at all. The guys and spar partners laughed at him but my days of trying to see him were over. Later I worked at the Turnpike Authority in Jersey and Ernie Durando (Bayonne/Jersey City) was the PR guy. He referred to his wife as "the redhead" and I believe they had about six kids. Super guy. The boxing community has some great people, I applaud you.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)was Arnold Raymond Cream, and only boxed for some extra cash, Walcott worked for my grandfather's construction company. The company, which was headquartered in Nutley, NJ, did a lot of work around NYC.
Walcott would be a cruiserweight today. He had uncanny natural skills, and was highly intelligent in the ring. Ali would learn a good deal of his footwork from Jersey Joe.
I never did meet him, but my father and uncles always spoke very highly of him.
monmouth3
(3,871 posts)NJ. Much drang went on but it was still worth it. My friend and I laughed all the way home..LOL..
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)It's a great story -- thanks for sharing it here!
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)H2O Man
(73,536 posts)Auggie
(31,167 posts)Maybe not directly. Or immediately. But I bet this young man will remember and respond with the same compassion in similar situations.
Thanks for posting. A huge K&R!
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)It wasn't that long ago that I was the angry young man, with the good fortune to have Friend Rubin guide me. Now it's my turn to be in the other role.
(It's funny: a while back, my boy & I were riding in my vehicle. We were listening to a Neil Young CD, and the song "Old Man" was playing. My son said, "Damn, when you first heard this song, you were the young guy. Now you are the old man."
kentuck
(111,079 posts)I remember Marvis. He was good but he didn't have the fire that his old man had.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)had the drive that Joe had! Even after he had pretty much retired, I remember he had Duane Bobick headlining a card in Utica that my brother was on. In the dressing room, Joe came face-to-face my my brother-in-law, then an amateur heavyweight, almost exactly Joe's size. And Joe just stopped and stared -- not anything that could be mistaken as "friendly." It was one of those moments where, no kidding, the hair stands up on the back of your neck. Joe was an intense man! (He was different after the card ended. He enjoyed life, and having fun. But before the card, he was an intimidating figure.)
Hell Hath No Fury
(16,327 posts)That is how the world is changed. Awesome job.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)I am confident that this young man has the ability to change his world; as he changes, everything around him changes, too. When his relationship with himself improves, it will effect his relationship with all he has contact with.
Years ago, while running a forensic group at the county jail (I worked for the mental health clinic), one of the inmates was already sentenced to state prison. He had been a solid high school football player, and was bright enough that he should have been able to take advantage of the scholarships offered to him. But his family of orgin was an anti-social system, and substance abuse was a way of life from youth onward. He had gotten out of jail before the holidays, and his mother gave him a gram of coke for Christmas. Nice. He got caught with enough of it, that the courts were sending him to prison.
I remember vividly that, at the end of the last group session he was in, he came over and shook my hand, and said, "I wish that I had met you earlier in life." That still haunts me. And I'm not pretending that all the inmates liked me; many did not. Some dispised me. But it remains important to me to do what little I can to help young folks -- male and female -- take a path in life that keeps them from the cycle of incarceration.
Autumn
(45,058 posts)tells you that life is going just as it should and it's a renewal of faith and hope. Wonderful story.
When life is hard, there is usually some opportunity, some option ...... and too often, we have been programmed (for lack of better word) to not explore it. We've come to believe the lie that we aren't capable enough, or good enough, to live differently. And once that window of opportunity is closed, and that option pasted by, that exact opportunity cannot ever be taken in exactly the same way.
Beringia
(4,316 posts)One person who cares can make a huge difference.
I have watched two boxing movies about Muhammad Ali, being curious after reading your posts. In one, Ali played himself. Boxing is still an enigma to me. But since it is done purely from someone's free will, I guess it is okay, still not sure though.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)Ali's book, "Soul of a Butterfly." One of his daughters served as the editor, a few years back. Boxing was the vehicle that allowed The Champ to become rich and famous; this book tells about the lessons he learned regarding what is most important in life.
Ali was the greatest heavyweight champion of all time; yet his true greatness was found outside of the ring.
malaise
(268,949 posts)Rec
bigtree
(85,989 posts). . . but, that may well be just from our own perspective. We can never see all of the splinter effects and consequences of our actions. We try and walk carefully . . . I have very big feet.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)Thanks!
MindPilot
(12,693 posts)Unlike every other sport, the object of boxing is to literally beat you opponent into unconsciousness.
It is incomprehensible to me that people who call themselves liberals would not consider boxing in the same light as rodeo or bull fighting.
Barbaric and ignorant excuse for a sport. You should be ashamed for being involved in spreading even move violence.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)What makes you think your pissing into the punchbowl is appreciated in any way?
Go away.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)It's funny: a person could ask intelligent, rational questions about boxing's dark side. There surely is one. There aren't many people more familiar with those issues than me, and I'm certainly willing to discuss them honestly with any sincere person. But that nasty little emotional outburst that you responded to, precludes the possibility of an intelligent, rational conversation.
The social-political arena also has a dark side. By no coincidence, the sport that has been most influential in socio-political issues in American history is, of course, boxing. I am not "ashamed" of my participation in either field of human activity -- far from it. In fact, I think that the self-discipline needed in boxing has been helpful in allowing me to navigate in social-political worlds.
Again, thank you.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)of the Great Sport, eh?
BeyondGeography
(39,369 posts)The HBO documentary on the Thrilla showed Marvis for just what a total mensch he is. And there are few more tender moments in all of sport than Joe hugging Marvis after the Holmes fight.
Working my way through the Thomas Hauser Ali bio now; a tidbit:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023038819
Lovely diary, as always.
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)That documentary is outstanding.
Tom and I e-mail each other a few times per year. He's a good man -- though I don't understand his admiring Don King. It's one of a few things we disagree on!
BeyondGeography
(39,369 posts)bright, charismatic, hard working and totally amoral; someone who has ruined a lot of fighters...so it appears he is at least conflicted.
Hekate
(90,648 posts)... something so worthwhile. I learned something, and your story lifted the tone of the whole board for awhile.
Hekate
H2O Man
(73,536 posts)I love boxers & most trainers, have mixed feelings about managers, and never trust promoters ..... which is a common stance among old pugs like myself.
It's interesting for me to go to the gyms with my boy. It's sometimes frustrating to be stuck in this old bag of bones, though. Dang! I miss being able to box. But writing this OP, and talking with friends here, is a lot of fun.