General Discussion
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(5,113 posts)uppityperson
(115,725 posts)senses and being more humane.
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)But we have a few diehards who are going to be sadz.
uppityperson
(115,725 posts)tiny tear
Hydra
(14,459 posts)I'm sure Jesus would be pretty pissed at the things people think he would support. And think they were jerks. You go Ellen!
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)She was on the Daily Show recently and was hilarious.
RainDog
(28,784 posts)demmiblue
(37,661 posts)And 'jerk' is being kind.
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)Segami
(14,923 posts)Kurovski
(34,657 posts)I think growers need to name a strain "Sweet Saviour".
Marrah_G
(28,581 posts)Lady Freedom Returns
(14,120 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)meegbear
(25,438 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)yonder
(9,910 posts)RoccoR5955
(12,471 posts)There's an ugly little weasel bout three-foot nine
Face puffed up from cryin n lyin
Cause her sweet little hubbys
Suckin prong part time
(in the name of the lord)
Get a clue, little shrew
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Jesus thinks you're a jerk
Did he really choose tammy to do his work?
Robertson says that he's the one
Oh he sure is,
If armageddon
Is your idea of family fun,
An he's got some planned for you!
(now, tell me that aint true)
Now, what if jimbos slightly gay,
Will pat let jimbo get away?
Everything weve heard him say
Indicated that jim must pay,
(and it just might hurt a bit)
But keep that money rollin in,
Cause pat and naughty jimbo
Cant get enough of it
Perhaps it's their idea
Of an affirmative action plan
To give white trash a special break;
Well, they took those jeezo-bucks and ran
To the bank! to the bank! to the bank! to the bank!
And every night we can hear them thank
Their buddy, up above
For sending down his love
(while you all smell the glove)
Jim and pat should take a pole
(right up each saintly glory-hole),
With tar and feathers too --
Just like theyd love to do to you
(cause they think you are bad --
And they are very mad)
Cause some folks don't want prayer in school!
(wed need an ark to survive the drool
Of micro-publicans, raised on hate,
And jimbo-jimbo when they graduate)
Conviced they are the chosen ones --
And all their parents carry guns,
And hold them cards in the n.r.a.
(with their fingers on the triggers
When they kneel and pray)
With a ku-klux muu-muu
In the back of the truck,
If you aint born again,
They wanna mess you up, screamin:
No abortion, no-siree!
Lifes too precious, can't you see!
(what's that hangin from the neighbors tree?
Why, it looks like colored folks to me --
Would they do that...seriously? )
Imagine if you will
A multi-millionaire television evangelist,
Saved from korean combat duty by his father, a u.s. senator
Studied law --
But is not qualified to practice it
Father of a love child
Who, in adulthood, hosts the remnants
Of papas religious propaganda program
Claims not to be a faith healer,
But has, in the past,
Dealt stearnly with everything from hemorrhoids to hurricanes
Involved with funding for a secret war in central america
Claiming ronald reagan and oliver north as close friends
Involved in suspicous tax-avoidance schemes,
(under investigation for 16 months by the i.r.s.)
Claims to be a man of god;
Currenty seeking the united states presidency,
Hoping we will all follow him into --
The twilight zone
What if pat gets in the white house,
And suddenly --
The rights of certain people disappear
Mysteriously?
Now, wouldn't that sort of qualify
As an american tragedy?
(especially if he covers it up, sayin
Jesus told it to me!)
I hope we never see that day,
In the land of the free --
Or someday will we?
Will we?
And if you don't know by now,
The truth of what Im tellin you,
Then, surely I have failed somehow --
And jesus will think Im a jerk, just like you --
If you let those tv preachers
Make a monkey out of you!
I said:
Jesus will think you're a jerk
And it would be true!
There's an old rugged cross
In the land of cutton --
Its still burnin on somebodys lawn
And it still smells rotten
Jim and tammy!
Oh, baby!
You gotta go!
You really got to go!
zappaman
(20,607 posts)90-percent
(6,866 posts)There are so many opportunities to say:
"There's a Zappa song about that!"
BTW - this version was from the 1988 Zappa Tour at the Nassau Coliseum. I was there. Got to meet Dweezil and Eric Buxton during intermission.
-90% Jimmy
Initech
(101,142 posts)justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)She's like the patron saint of snarky brunettes.
tridim
(45,358 posts)Never heard a better description of her.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)I like her even more now.
Rex
(65,616 posts)nt.
Cleita
(75,480 posts)Rex
(65,616 posts)This according to a man that wrote about Jesus 100 years later. As you can imagine, non of the disciples were around to be interviewed.
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)It happens.
Rex
(65,616 posts)at the time, I know I'd have wanted to inspect their beer. For quality purposes only.
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)tavalon
(27,985 posts)tavalon
(27,985 posts)He said maybe we should treat each other with kindness so we nailed him to a tree. I wouldn't come back.
snooper2
(30,151 posts)It's no more possible for him to come back than Puff the Magic Dragon
William769
(55,783 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)William769
(55,783 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)Just got ya a kick. I'm moving around 5 different windows today, lol.
William769
(55,783 posts)Yes GD has been moving fast today.
LynneSin
(95,337 posts)but found out she's dating Alexander Skarsgard now
Ok kidding aside - Great Tweet Ellen!!
William769
(55,783 posts)Ilsa
(62,101 posts)Bette Noir
(3,581 posts)"Doesn't everyone cry at weddings?"
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)ReRe
(10,626 posts)K&R
.... Ellen Page wins hands down.
What hypocrites, the Republicans. Just imagine how Jesus weeps when bombs kill all those innocent people all over the world. When he weeps over the innocents killed with drones. Even when our troops give their lives in needless wars, Jesus weeps. When our troops who suffer from serious PTSD take their own lives because their burdens are too heavy to bare, Jesus weeps! The suffering is exponential, all over the world, among the families and friends of all those needlessly killed, and Jesus weeps.
Jesus weeps when people all over the world die from no health care. When children die of starvation before the age of 5 years old. When so many innocents die of needless gun violence right here in America. Jesus weeps when so-called Christians use Him for their nefarious deeds against humanity, for their greed & avarice.
Jesus said "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Shame on Mike Huckabee and his cohorts, the Republicans. Shame on all of them. They don't have the right to even speak the name of Jesus!
Kurovski
(34,657 posts)K&R
I loved her in that baby thing. For chrissake, she kept her baby. He should at least be happy about that.
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)Kurovski
(34,657 posts)It must be rough.
You are of course absolutely, 100% correct.
NewJeffCT
(56,833 posts)like Arnold, Sonny Bono, Fred Thompson, etc.
tavalon
(27,985 posts)but no, she didn't. She gave the baby to the newly single mother who was going to adopt it.
Kurovski
(34,657 posts)"Are you keeping it"? was a euphemism for that at one time in the olden days.
tavalon
(27,985 posts)My favorite line is when she tells the adoptive mother that she's the cautionary whale at school. Cracked me up!
Sweet movie. Unique people with unique ways of speaking. I liked it very much.
roamer65
(36,905 posts)He didn't mince words with the money changers at the temple, he wouldn't with this jerkwad either.
tavalon
(27,985 posts)I love a smart ass.
Ron Green
(9,837 posts)The Austin Lounge Lizards
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)+1
caraher
(6,300 posts)The Lizards are one of the best things to come out of Texas. I can almost forgive the state for the Bushes...
Ron Green
(9,837 posts)"Gingrich the Newt" is another good song of theirs.
The Wizard
(12,752 posts)tblue
(16,350 posts)I'm gonna. How precious is she? Oh my gosh! Exquisite!
Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts)I love that she whacked that fool in the chops.
tavalon
(27,985 posts)If not, I'd best let you in on a secret, "isn't she precious" and "isn't he just so cute" are generally followed by the most cutting remarks ever. They are considered a diss of the highest order, as in "Isn't she precious? It's such a shame she's so stupid!"
tblue
(16,350 posts)But thanks for letting me know. She's precious. Is that better?
tavalon
(27,985 posts)I lived in the south more than half my life.
quakerboy
(14,060 posts)Look what he did to the moneylenders in the temple. Im pretty sure he would not "be nice to your face" towards any of these hateful bigots using his name to punish and torture others.
Live and Learn
(12,769 posts)Dawgs
(14,755 posts)The one I read about had no problem getting pissed.
tavalon
(27,985 posts)She knows that. She said it that way so that it would be a shot heard round the world instead of just getting called a bitch. She is sublime. I love when something that witty makes it out of my mouth.
malthaussen
(17,529 posts)... sorry I don't have a screenshot, but it came from "Therealjesuschrist" and read: "Those were tears of joy, you asshole!"
But go, Ellen Page.
-- Mal
Dawgs
(14,755 posts)Although not sure about "he would like be nice". Sounds like a combination of 'deep south' and 'valley girl' mixed together.
Logical
(22,457 posts)Dawgs
(14,755 posts)I liked her response.
tavalon
(27,985 posts)She could have just said, "you're an asshole and you are wrong." but this was so much funnier and is getting better air time than that other one would.
gateley
(62,683 posts)Smarmie Doofus
(14,498 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,374 posts):hugs:
Smarmie Doofus
(14,498 posts)tavalon
(27,985 posts)Turns out she's as cool off screen as on.
NewJeffCT
(56,833 posts)Something like "those were tears of joy you idiot" or something like that.
ctsnowman
(1,903 posts)she is.
Thanks for the post.
progressoid
(50,432 posts)dbackjon
(6,578 posts)napkinz
(17,199 posts)nt
Initech
(101,142 posts)DevonRex
(22,541 posts)run for their money. I mean, really. Just look at her. Read what she wrote. What is not to love about her? She wasn't a jerk. She said what she thought. Short and to the point. She's smart and nice. She's bold. She's small but plays big. Like Johnny Depp, she commands a room without doing one thing. All eyes are on her. That's special. It's great to have her speak up to that old Rick Perry.