My parents are going on a cruise next week with the NATIONAL REVIEW!!!!!

[dorkzilla]

I just can't stop laughing....so imagine, a cruise ship full of conservatives from both the United States and Britain. And where are these conservatives cruising to???

Norway. NORWAY!!!!

What would possess them to take a whole ship full of conservatives to a SOCIALIST country that has one of the highest life satisfaction scores in the world in spite of their high tax rates???? Will the National Review cruise director tell them that they shouldn't believe what they're seeing with their own eyes, that its a LEFT WING PROPAGANDA TRICK??!!!!

[kentauros]

1. I wonder if they'll let anyone leave the ship once they figure it out.

Maybe some will sneak out and then not come back, scandalizing the remaining passengers

[dorkzilla]

3. LOL!!! Defections!!!!

Maybe they'll schedule their keynote speakers at just that time so no one will go ashore! You gotta see this lineup...

http://nrcruise.com

[kentauros]

7. Unfortunately, I only recognized a handful on that list of guests.

Fortunately, they're on "Holland America Line" and thus, will be surrounded by socialist furners for the majority of their trip!

[dorkzilla]

10. i know, isn't it delish???

Cannot.Stop.Laughing.

[kentauros]

11. Have you attempted to enlighten your parents of these facts?

I'm curious about how quickly they dismissed your assessment

[dorkzilla]

13. Oh god, have I ever...

Let me start by saying, their attitude is "we're rich therefore we are smart". You can't tell them a fucking thing without them saying I've been brainwashed because I'm a working class liberal who listens to NPR and doesn't have any money to protect from the little people.

When I pointed out the fact that Norway was LIVING PROOF that all their theories about socialism, self-reliance, taxes and job creators was poppycock, I got crickets. Then my mother said something about "well, I don't believe they're happy. Maybe they say they are, but I don't believe them" which pretty much illustrates her argument about ANYTHING. You give her a set of facts and she says "I don't believe that". Convenient.

[kentauros]

14. Yeah, you can't argue with that.

You won't make any headway, and they won't ever learn, or not until they're too old to do anything about it.

Well, at least you're happy

[dorkzilla]

17. Very. And I'm broke as hell. And they're rich and miserable.

Last edited Sun Jul 28, 2013, 11:44 AM - Edit history (1)

I really don't know how I could be her offspring (this is her second marriage, but he's been my stepdad since I was a kid). Just give me a book, a decent bottle of wine (cotes du rhone, please!) and my dogs and I am in heaven.

The worst part is she's a cancer survivor--I hoped that would soften her a bit, and it did for a while, but she's back to watching Fox news and frothing at the mouth over those damned liberals.

[sheshe2]

24. Thank god when the apple

feel from the tree it rolled away. Good on you dorkzilla!

You are right money can't buy you happiness.

she

[dorkzilla]

27. Helooooooo She!

How are you?? Ive been mainly lurking lately. Hope all is well

[sheshe2]

33. Things are okay, thanks.

Everything sounds good on your end too. Great to see you again.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

29. wow. that is sad. I have relatives like that.

wishing you well. Too many people are like this. I think that is the most frustrating for me...seeing people who are beyond logical reasoning in their belief systems.

[dorkzilla]

44. Its self serving

Even sadder, a very good friend of mine has gone that way too but in his case it's worse. We worked together at an auction house, and he was a writer in the proposals department. Bright young thing, former teacher, had just moved up from NC with his wife to try and make a better life. I was the assistant to the Chairman, and this young man so impressed me that I took up his cause and got him his first promotion, so I've been very pleased that he's grown in leaps and bounds. But several years ago he took a job with a bank, and he's slowly turned from a liberal son of college professors to one of "them". We had dinner 2 weeks ago, and he told me Obama failed so he voted for Romney. Then went on and on and on about how the gubmint was discriminating against him (through taxes!) because he was a banker. I really wanted to cry. I feel like my friend died.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

49. Yes, that is really bad. I reconnected with some old high school friends and it was crazy

to see how staunchly conservative and selfish they had all become. And once you know....there's no going back. It is very difficult for me to set aside someone's strong political beliefs and still have light social interaction with them by choice even if we don't hit those topics.

I do it for family and work things...but it is like losing a friend.

[brewens]

36. People like that don't understand working guys like me/us. I'd be happy with just a little

more and being able to retire on-time and maintain my lifestyle. Most of my recreation is like brewskis and football at The Eagles Lodge, camping and fishing mostly within 100 miles of where I live and maybe a concert or college football game not too far away. Not exactly lavish by any standards but I can be perfectly happy, mostly doing just that.

If a guy like me supports OWS then I'm one of those left-wingers that wants what they've got!

[bluestate10]

43. The standard rightwing counter-point is to say anything that contradicts their view is a lie.

Commonplace tactic of those assholes.

[dorkzilla]

57. But its effective.

You can't argue with that so in their minds, they win.

[Freddie]

66. Ah, the blue-haired line

Back when my folks used to go on cruises the Holland America line was by far their favorite. Top of the line accommodations for old people with $$. Don't recall any politically themed cruises though! They liked the entertainment, big bands and singers that appealed to their age group.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

54. The names I recognized on that list of speakers

are people I'd rather drink bleach than be stuck on a ship with. I also noticed that there are no women at all, and only two who aren't white (Ponnuru and West).

It's really hilarious that they're going to Norway, of all places.

[dorkzilla]

58. I just can't stop laughing at the destination they chose

The thing that's kind of worrying is these asshats get emboldened when they get together in large groups, absolutely convinced that their way of thinking is the right way so...can you imagine their deplorable behavior toward Norwegians when they find out they have a cradle-to-grave welfare system? Never mind that they have one of the highest standards of living in the world...ugh, I can imagine the nastiness OOZING out of them.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

59. They probably chose Norway for the beautiful scenery, and the fact that

most Norwegians are white people (although they are getting more immigrants lately). It's also a very safe, low-crime country without nasty slums and unpleasant tropical diseases, and almost everyone speaks English. God forbid they should go to a country where the people aren't white and don't speak English. If they get to talking to any actual Norwegians they might learn something, but they probably won't talk to the "natives" much except to complain about the high prices and the prevalence of fish on restaurant menus.

[PennsylvaniaMatt]

2. Oh that is priceless!!

I remember reading right after the election they had one of these cruises, and all the Republicans who were convinced Romney would win thought it would be a victory celebration...boy were they disappointed!!

I just wonder if any of them will give the Communist Muslim Kenyan-born President any credit for their mutual funds rebounding!?

[dorkzilla]

22. Nope. Rebounds ONLY count if its a Republican president!

Didn't you get the memo????

I can't imagine any sane person spending a week on board a ship, however pleasant the scenery, with this particular set of persons. Just thinking of the dinner conversations is enough to make me ill.

[brewens]

37. We need to infiltrate one of those. Get someone on there wired. Imagine the conversations

once some of those people had a few drinks! Would that be legal? In my state, Idaho, it would be. As long as it's a conversation I'm a part of.

[Blue Owl]

4. A Carnival Cruz Line steamer

n/t

[dorkzilla]

5. Heheheheheheeee

Well, it may not be Carnival, but we already know this cruise will be full of shit anyway!!!

[madaboutharry]

6. And if any of them get really sick and have to be taken to a

hospital there, they will experience the horrors of NORWAY-CARE!

[dorkzilla]

20. NOOOOOOO...NOT UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[brewens]

38. Now you've done it. You've forced me to wish a ship-wide bug on all the passengers!

Nothing real serious but enough to make them seek medical care in Norway. That really needs to happen.

[dorkzilla]

39. LOL!

That would be awful for the poor people of Norway to have to take care of *those* people!

[brewens]

42. Yeah. You know how "those" people are. They feel entitled to everything and threaten to

sue at the drop of a hat. Who would inflict them on anyone?

[JNelson6563]

8. lol Probably the same dumb-asses

who had Colbert do the Correspondent dinner while Little Boots was in office.

Julie

[dorkzilla]

21. I think they didn't get that Colbert was doing was a parody of a fox idiot

Or else it was the most amazing practical joke ever.

[HappyMe]

9. Good lord!

I can't think of anything more irritating and boring.

[dorkzilla]

12. Oh my god, I can't even imagine the sheer stupidity that will come out of Allen West's mouth.

Irritating to be sure.

Maybe they'll have an impromptu meeting of Groundswell on board!!!

[Liberal_in_LA]

15. ewwww

[dorkzilla]

18. My thoughts exactly! LOL!!!! n/t

[olddots]

16. wasn't there a movie already called " SHIP OF FOOLS " ?

I'm sure they will all stay insulated from reality in their self serving comfort zone .

[dorkzilla]

19. And this song sums it up perfectly

You're gonna pay tomorrow!!!!

[Arugula Latte]

48. Thank you for that.

I love me some Karl Wallinger.

[dorkzilla]

50. Me too!

I'm happy he's had a good recovery from his aneurysm. And I STILL think he's a hottie.

[Arugula Latte]

52. Me too. Remarkable recovery. What a talent.

I've seen him live a few times in recent years. He still has a great voice, can hit the high notes, and also he's still writing great songs.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

23. Did you point this out to them? lol nt

[dorkzilla]

25. Yep! They are sure the Norwegians are lying!

It's all a clever ruse, don't you see? They're in cahoots with...um, someone bad.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

71. Omigosh. You really do have the patience of Job, don't you?

What do you usually talk about with them? The weather?

[dorkzilla]

78. Pretty much LOL!

Mom ironically always calls me for advice on various and sundry topics so there is always lots of deflections from politics. With Papa (step-dad) it's always about business so it's a little precarious - a hop skip into economic policy then straight to politics. But he's a self described savant, the only thing he knows about is business and money. There he is a genius I have to admit.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

89. That's good that your mom has lots of things she can discuss with you

Wonder if your mom was right wing before she met your stepadad, Mr. Business? Lots of women end up adopting their husbands' political views. More so in the past!

[dorkzilla]

90. She was pretty apolitical pre-step dad

Last edited Sun Jul 28, 2013, 11:38 AM - Edit history (1)

She didn't even start thinking about politics till Shrub and the Iraq bs, when she started watching Faux Noise with Papa. Edited to remove funny story as she's googling the cruise snd this string popped up! Hell hath no fury....

[Sarah Ibarruri]

91. ROFLMAO!!! omg that's too funny - thanks for the laugh

That's kinda like letting your dog do his business in someone else's front lawn. haha!

I shouldn't laugh though. I'd have been so mad if your mom had done that to my car! Your mom is too crazy with the right wing stuff lol She admires Mr. Business a little too much!!

[hrmjustin]

26. Talk about living in purgatory!

[dorkzilla]

30. It's waaaaaay beyond purgatory, my friend

We're talking the 8th and 9th Circles of Hell!!

[PoliticAverse]

28. From 2007...

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ship-of-fools-johann-hari-sets-sail-with-americas-swashbuckling-neocons-457074.html

[dorkzilla]

32. Thanks, I think...

Last edited Fri Jul 26, 2013, 04:07 PM - Edit history (1)

I only read the first 2 paragraphs and I'm literally sick to my stomach. Such hateful people. Ugh.

Edited to add: I just read the whole thing and I'm mortified--if they acted like this when shrub was in office, I can't imagine how they'll be now that theyve lost the White House.

My only defense is to not answer the phone when they return.

[rightsideout]

31. A Conservative cruise to Norway

It doesn't get any better. LOL.

[geek tragedy]

34. Norwegians may be socialist, but they're white socialists, so all good with the NR nt

[RandiFan1290]

35. Shhh don't tell them :)

[dorkzilla]

41. Awesome!

I'd send it to them but since it's Michael Moore it would just feed into their narrative of the Norwegians lying

[notadmblnd]

40. I think you should give your parents this little tidbit of info

Ask them why they would even want to go there seeing it is a REAL socialist country.

[dorkzilla]

45. Because Allen West is going to be there!

Last edited Fri Jul 26, 2013, 05:43 PM - Edit history (1)

Actually it's because Mom has a lady chubby for a Tory MP who is going to be there. And why does she like said MP? Because her surname (maiden) and his are one letter off. I kid you not.

[notadmblnd]

47. That's funny.

[JI7]

51. because they are mostly a White country, conservatism in the US is very much about Racism

tim wise wrote about this. how the anti govt , anti welfare movement became stronger once minorities started to gain rights and would benefit from government programs.

[dorkzilla]

56. Conservatives=racists n/t

Last edited Sun Jul 28, 2013, 11:42 AM - Edit history (1)

[JI7]

64. wow, that's just so fucked up

really, someone is wealthy and they have resentment against little kids who want candy. but it is an example of the visciousness towards people.

i work in a beach area in so cal where most residents are white but they are also mostly liberals.

[dorkzilla]

67. Another one of those moments when I thought "who the fuck IS this woman"? N/t

Last edited Sun Jul 28, 2013, 11:39 AM - Edit history (1)

[pa28]

53. Good news is with that many distended gasbags aboard the ship is virtually unsinkable.

And that's AFTER National Review fired John Derbyshire.

Did your parents take this cruise by choice? Otherwise the cruise line should offer your parents a refund and a full apology.

[dorkzilla]

55. Yep, not only did they giddily sign up, they got a state room to boot.

I mean, come on, who doesn't want to sail first class through Norway with John Sununu?

[WinkyDink]

60. Trust me; they will return and say to you, "It's great to be back in America!"

[deurbano]

61. MY mom is going on a Weekly Standard cruise in October...

God help us.

http://twscruise.com

[dorkzilla]

62. We're siblings of embarrassment!

We have to stick together!

WTF is wrong with them???

[deurbano]

68. Well, my mom was also a delegate to the Republican convention in Tampa...

...and she watches Fox "News" or listens to Limbaugh and Hannity for an astonishingly large chunk of her waking hours. I've been having political "debates" with her (and with my dad, when he was still alive) since I was in 5th grade. They were Southern Democrats who first became Republicans so they could vote for Goldwater. My only sibling is a Republican, too.... so I am very happy to have you as my honorary "sibling of embarrassment"!

Jonah Goldberg… John Fund…. John Sununu… ALLEN WEST (and MORE)!!! The Weekly Standard lineup seems anemic by comparison. My mom would be drooling! She has already visited Oslo on a Baltic cruise, though, and since her idea of traveling mainly involves crossing countries off her bucket list, the Weekly Standard itinerary better fulfills her traveling needs. She’ll be able to cross Greece and Croatia off her list… and while she HAS been to Venice (thus, Italy), someone managed to convince her that Rome was still worth seeing!

[dorkzilla]

63. Actually, that makes me think...why doesn't DU sponsor cruises???

THAT would be fun! We could go to...NORWAY

[deurbano]

70. I actually would love that!

IF I can get over my longstanding cruise phobia... which began after watching Shelly Winters drown in The Poseidon Adventure.

[Dawson Leery]

65. Fred Barnes?

[deurbano]

69. Yeah, REALLY worth paying a few thousand dollars to (be forced to) listen to THAT blowhard!

[Blue Owl]

72. Did they get the suite with the Grover Norquist bathtub?

n/t

[Jim Lane]

73. Maybe the plan is for everyone to visit Anders Breivik in prison.

He's hostile to Islam, feminism, and multiculturalism; he bombed government buildings; and he exercised his Second Amendment rights at a camp of the Workers' Youth League of Norway's left-wing political party. Maybe the National Review people regard him as a political prisoner of the totalitarian Norwegian socialist state, and they plan to show solidarity.

Aside from that, if you were planning a conservatives' cruise, where would you go? Just about every economically advanced country is more socialist than the U.S. Suppose you decide to go someplace where the government has been drowned in a bathtub, and there is no oppressive central authority dictating what people can do. Try selling cruise tickets to Somalia.

[dorkzilla]

82. That was one of the first thoughts I had as to "why Norway"?

Maybe they feel the tide is turning there, but I don't think "they" do much thinking at all. No, I'm quite convinced they didn't consider the irony of taking a ship full o' conservatives to a thriving socialist country. They are not deep thinkers.

[Douglas Carpenter]

74. (2007) - Ship of Fools: A liberal journalist stows away on a National Review neocon cruise

Way back in 2007 - I posted this article from the Independent on DU2

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3377932


Ship of Fools: A liberal journalist stows away on a National Review neocon cruise

This is an absolutely precious and priceless article. And I encourage everyone to read the whole thing:

link to full article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ship-of-fools-johann-hari-sets-sail-with-americas-swashbuckling-neocons-457074.html

"Ship of fools: Johann Hari sets sail with America's swashbuckling neocons

The Iraq war has been an amazing success, global warming is just a myth – and as for Guantanamo Bay, it's practically a holiday camp... The annual cruise organized by the 'National Review', mouthpiece of right-wing America, is a parallel universe populated by straight-talking, gun-toting, God-fearing Republicans.

By Johann Hari - Published: 13 July 2007



I am standing waist-deep in the Pacific Ocean, both chilling and burning, indulging in the polite chit-chat beloved by vacationing Americans. A sweet elderly lady from Los Angeles is sitting on the rocks nearby, telling me dreamily about her son. "Is he your only child?" I ask. "Yes," she says. "Do you have a child back in England?" she asks. No, I say. Her face darkens. "You'd better start," she says. "The Muslims are breeding. Soon, they'll have the whole of Europe."

I am getting used to these moments – when gentle holiday geniality bleeds into... what? I lie on the beach with Hillary-Ann, a chatty, scatty 35-year-old Californian designer. As she explains the perils of Republican dating, my mind drifts, watching the gentle tide. When I hear her say, " Of course, we need to execute some of these people," I wake up. Who do we need to execute? She runs her fingers through the sand lazily. "A few of these prominent liberals who are trying to demoralize the country," she says. "Just take a couple of these anti-war people off to the gas chamber for treason to show, if you try to bring down America at a time of war, that's what you'll get." She squints at the sun and smiles. " Then things'll change." "

snip:"Now that this barrier has been broken – everyone agrees the Muslims are devouring the French, and everyone agrees it's funny – the usual suspects are quickly rounded up. Jimmy Carter is "almost a traitor". John McCain is "crazy" because of "all that torture". One of the Park Avenue ladies declares that she gets on her knees every day to " thank God for Fox News". As the wine reaches the Floridian, he announces, "This cruise is the best money I ever spent."

They rush through the Rush-list of liberals who hate America, who want her to fail, and I ask them – why are liberals like this? What's their motivation? They stutter to a halt and there is a long, puzzled silence. " It's a good question," one of them, Martha, says finally. I have asked them to peer into the minds of cartoons and they are suddenly, reluctantly confronted with the hollowness of their creation. "There have always been intellectuals who want to tell people how to live," Martha adds, to an almost visible sense of relief. That's it – the intellectuals! They are not like us. Dave changes the subject, to wash away this moment of cognitive dissonance. "The liberals don't believe in the constitution. They don't believe in what the founders wanted – a strong executive," he announces, to nods. A Filipino waiter offers him a top-up of his wine, and he mock-whispers to me, "They all look the same! Can you tell them apart?" I stare out to sea. How long would it take me to drown?"

link to full article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ship-of-fools-johann-hari-sets-sail-with-americas-swashbuckling-neocons-457074.html

A version of this article has appeared in 'The New Republic' (www.tnr.org )
My thinks to Richard Silverstein for mentioning this piece on his blog where I first learned about it: http://www.richardsilverstein.com/tikun_olam /

link to full article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ship-of-fools-johann-hari-sets-sail-with-americas-swashbuckling-neocons-457074.html

the posting on DU from 2007:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3377932

.

[dorkzilla]

81. Thanks! PoliticAverse sent the link earlier (#28)...

which I read and nearly vomited over, and then made me curious enough to google "National Review Cruise" and found a few articles whereby some hapless journalist ends up on a cruise incognito. Awful people. I had no idea that these things existed.

[dipsydoodle]

75. I wouldn't compare UK conservatives with your load of

complete fruitcakes.

[Douglas Carpenter]

76. in general no - I doubt there are any teabagger equivalents in the UK

but from what I gather - there is a small click of British equivalents of Neocons of the Niall Ferguson variety who genuinely admire the Reaganite right-wing of the Republican Party

[dorkzilla]

79. No kidding, I told Mom as much.

I said your conservatives were more like our centrist Dems, and she said "I don't believe you". The problem is you lot are way too civilized when talking to these assclowns; you'll just politely nod, while going bonkers in your own mind. I love your civility, but I wish it was practiced less with these jerks. They deserve censure from everything thinking person.

[B Calm]

77. Have you told your parents how LIBERAL Norway is?

[dorkzilla]

80. Yes! When they told me where they were off to I began crying from laughter

And couldn't catch my breath. They seemed quite unaware of just how liberal the Norwegians are. Which made me laugh harder.

[War Horse]

83. Well, thanks for the warning ;)

I actually used to work right next to where all those giant cruise ships land in Bergen, Norway.

On my way home from work one day a distraught, elderly gentleman from the U.S. came up to me, said that he was lost, and asked me if I could please "take him to the river". I had no idea what he meant at first, but then it dawned on me: "Ah, you mean where all the cruise ships are?". "Yes".

I helped him get back to the harbor.

[dorkzilla]

88. Please avoid those people at all costs!!!!

Here is the itinerary...tread lightly, kind warrior!!!

http://nrcruise.com/itinerary.htm

Seriously, I can imagine them in the coffee shops in Amsterdam right now, looking around going "this isn't Starbucks! What's that smell???????"

[War Horse]

92. LOL

I've since moved from Bergen, so I'm out of harm's way now.

Maybe I should give my Dutch friends a heads up, though

[hatrack]

84. Probably so that they can enjoy the National Review "Salute To Anders Brevik"

I'd be jumping overboard for shit like that. Jesus, trapped on a cruise boat with hundreds of reactionary morons.

[HardTimes99]

87. LOL (to keep from indulging my desire for a providential iceberg) - nt

[HardTimes99]

85. I'm glad you survived and escaped with your sense of

humor intact.

Your escape should give hope to us all.

On a serious note, Norway is not 'socialist' (although it is strongly social democratic). Norway taxes the shit out of its rich to fund a very impressive social safety net including, IIRC, 6 months' paid maternity\paternity leave at full salary and full government-funded childcare. I think though that the means of production there is still privately, not publicly, held.

[PCIntern]

86. There better not be any oral-sex-hijinks in any of the cabins

or they'll put them in a lifeboat a la Fletcher Christian/Captain Bligh and set them adrift!

Ahoy! ye sinners!!!