I want the Top 10 back. So I decided to take it upon myself to do it.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

I will try every week, but remember, I live 8000 miles away. Anyone that wants to nominate people for the list, PM me.

Welcome Back Edition


JOHN BOEHNER
Starting off the new attempt at the Top 10 is the most ineffective, pathetic excuse for a Speaker of the House in the history of FOREVER. . .John “Orange Vodka” Boehner. On a recent showing of Meet the Press, the Ohio tearduct was asked why this Congress, as of 7-7-13, passed just 15 bills that have been signed into law. Met with this fact, John-Boy responded in the oddest way possible:

“BOEHNER: Well, Bob, we should not be judged on how many new laws we create. We ought to be judged on how many laws we repeal. We’ve got more laws than the administration could ever enforce. “

Okay, let's examine this for thirty seconds. Congress isn't now not supposed to propose and pass laws, but repeal the laws we already have. Anyone with half a brain knows that this is a threat against the ACA that the gives the GOP strokes and heart attacks. But, okay, Orange Boy, let's look how many laws you repeal: ZERO!!! Like you! A complete zero! WORST. SPEAKER. EVER!



BUCKEYE FIREARMS FOUNDATION AND GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

Florida. Amazing, beautiful Florida. Come for the Stand Your Ground laws, enjoy blowing away unarmed black kids and stay for your exoneration. George Zimmerman has been acquitted, but he will not get the weapon used to kill an unarmed kid just yet. I know. Damn justice system. Don't worry: Here comes the Buckeye Firearms Foundation to the rescue:

“An Ohio firearms group has raised more than $12,000 to be spent on guns or a security system for George Zimmerman, the former neighborhood watch volunteer who was acquitted in the fatal shooting of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin in Florida. “

$12,510 to pay for guns, bullets and protection equipment for poor, oppressed Georgie. So, no concern for the fact that he KILLED someone. . .let's give him a new gun and let him back on his HOA neighborhood watch. What makes this even more sick that there is yet (another) SYG shooting, this time in Louisiana. Welcome to the new United States. The new motto: “This land is my land, it is not your land. If you don't get off it, I'll blow your head off. Oops, I feel threatened. BLAM!”



MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

Mayor-for-Life, Michael Bloomberg of New York, has done a lot of stupid shit in his 10,000 years of being New York City's mayor. From destroying public schools to attempting to ban soda, Bloomy has a nice conservative idiot track record. Now, he continues is unconstitutional (as if that matters in today's America) “stop-and-frisk” policy by vetoing two bills that would limit and restrict this horrid policy. Naturally, he claims it will counter-productive in crime prevention. Never mind that the statistics show that it is ineffective and used primarily against poor and minority residents, it is needed. When Bloomy cares about the crimes happening on a certain street in Lower Manhattan, maybe then stop-and-frisk will be taken seriously. Until then, it's just an excuse to enforce the long held Americans law against “living while minority.”



LOUIE GOHMERT

Texas is our next stop on the insanity road trip, where nuttier than super chunky peanut butter Congressman Louie Gohmert proceeds to open his mouth and puts his foot in it. When Reps. Cohen of TN and Conyers of MI try to inject bills that will slow down traditionally racist states from bringing their slow-witted cousin Jim Crow back, Gohmert decided to talk about the idea in the most head scratching way:

“GOHMERT: There is nobody in this chamber who is more appreciative than I am for the gentleman from Tennessee and my friend from Michigan standing up for the rights of race, religion, national religion of the Delta Smelt, the snail darter, various lizards, the lesser prairie chicken, the greater sage grouts and so many other insects who would want someone standing for their religion, their race, their national origin and I think that’s wonderful. “

Civil rights are now lizards? Lizards vote? Chickens too? What is he talking about? Seriously, I would like to see the world from his prospective, but I can't get my head up that far up my ass.



CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS

Okay, we are in complete fiscal meltdown. The stock market keeps going up, but stagflation has hit, unemployment is still very high, wages are depressed, but the upper 1% still get their (and my) pieces of pie and cake and laugh all the way to the bank.

We can thank Congressional Republicans for this mess by their supporting of Bush's Great Economic Toilet Flush, his practice of nation destroying in three countries (Iraq, Afghanistan and here) and their low of Koch Brothers money. Now it's 2013 and we are mired in a nasty Sequestration that is crippling everything. How much? According to Huffington Post:

“As many as 1.6 million new jobs could be added to the U.S. economy if Congress simply canceled the budget cuts implemented due to sequestration from Aug. 1, 2013, to the end of September 2014, a new non-partisan study has concluded. “ The non-partisan group is the CBO. Understand that. . .1.6 million new jobs in a year if Republicans start working with the president instead of stopping everything due to party politics.

Speaker Boehner, since we need to judge you on the laws you repeal, can we also judge you on how many jobs you and your party blocks from being created? You've repealed zero laws, but cost us 1.6 potential new jobs. WORST. SPEAKER. EVER!



NORTH CAROLINA REPUBLICANS

Some of the most restrictive laws have come out of the South. Anti-sodomy laws (targeting homosexuals), anti-miscegenation laws and supporting the Mann Act (targeting blacks) and Jim Crow voting restrictions (targeting anyone not wealthy, white or male). Welcome to 2013 after the SCOTUS gutted the 1964 Voting Rights Act. . .

According to Brad Blog:

“It includes draconian polling place Photo ID restrictions (despite any evidence of polling place impersonation in the state), shortens the early voting period and eliminates NC's very successful same-day voter registration program. "But," Hasen adds, "it’s also a laundry list of ways to make it harder for people to vote, and which cannot plausibly be justified on antifraud grounds."

There are a long list of disgusting ideas that Pat McCrory will sign into law. Welcome to the new America. Voting was a right. . .but that civil privilege is now being curtailed. When I hear about the lack of elections here in China (where this ex-pat lives) and how most Americans look at them as oppressed by power, I laugh now. Wisconsin, Michigan, Florida, Texas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Arizona, Indiana. . .now North Caroling is sliding down the reactionary craphole. At least the right people will vote from now on. And by right, I mean white Republicans.



PAULA DEEN

Aunt Jemima. She apparently not only had unfair pay scales based on race, used racist comments against minority employees, but also forced black employees to dress up as a racially insensitive stereotypes. I still don't know who this person is. . .but she sounds like the typical conservative asshat we all know that speaks like Archie Bunker, then claims she's not racist because her driver is black. And because Paula Deen is on the shitheap of history, time to move on to. . .



MARCO RUBIO

How do you stop the ACA, since the GOP has tried almost 80,000 times to overturn it (still waiting for all those laws to be repealed there, John Boy)? Marco Rubio thinks we should shut down the government, destroy the country and plunge the world into a depression in order to stop Americans from having access to cheaper medical care. Before you say, WTF, is this guy hi in crack? From the Miami CBS affiliate:

“Rubio penned an op-ed on Fox News’ website Thursday saying a continuing resolution to fund the government and the country hitting the debt limit “may be our last best chance to do anything about this disastrous law.” Don't worry, the guy has the best sophistry idea ever. He is threatening to destroy the world's economy but it's all Obama's fault, “it is President Obama who insists on shutting down the government unless it funds his failed ObamaCare experiment.”

Luckily, a Republican Senator put him in his place. . .what? What the. . .? A Republican did that? Yes, Richard Burr of NC said:

"I think it's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of," Burr said. "Listen, as long as Barack Obama is president, the Affordable Care Act is going to be law."

Expect your boss Rush Limbaugh and your bank funder Koch Brothers to be on your phone on Monday.
2015 is going to be fun because the Republican primary is going to be bloody, destructive and filled with so much shit it will be like watching a train wreck of raw sewage on your TV. Won't it be fun to watch them all implode trying to convince the American public they are the most conservative?



JOHN PIKE

Who is John Pike? He's a police officer who loves pepper spray. He loves pepper spray so much he used it against sitting Occupy protestors at UC Davis while they posed no threat. Someone took a photo of this clown in a badge doing this and it led to lawsuits, a $1 million settlement and the resignation of the UCDPD Chief.
What does that have to do with John Pike now? Well, according to TPM:

“The former police officer who pepper-sprayed students during an Occupy protest at the University of California, Davis is appealing for worker’s compensation, claiming he suffered psychiatric injury from the 2011 confrontation. “

So, his actions cause all of this and now he wants to the CA taxpayers to pay for his psychological discomfort because his feelings are hurt? Sounds right. After you get your money, Mr. Pike, you need to to a restaurant. Order yourself a waahburger, French Cries and a Whine-iken. Don't eat too fast, or you will choke and someone will need to dial Whine-1-1 and call the waahbulance.



MARSHA BLACKBURN

Michelle Bachmann is retiring (albeit under ethics and criminal probes), so we need to find a new “World's most batshit crazy Congressman.” Steve King, Louie Gohmert, Darrell Issa are all good. Let's look at Marsha Blackburn (R-Naturally) of Tennessee's 7th.

Apparently, certain things that use or consume energy will be part of a new energy plan. Well, Marsha hates that idea. So, she is committed to fighting Obama's war on. . .wait for it. . ceiling fans!

“At the center of Blackburn's concerns is the inclusion of ceiling fans and ceiling fan light kits in a list of appliances for which the Department of Energy is seeking to implement energy efficiency standards, as part of the Obama administration's broader agenda to gain more from each kilowatt of electricity and reduce carbon emissions in the fight against climate change. “

WTF? Be prepared for the newest GOP war on Obama's idea that people should get a good night's sleep. In some Republican district, a business that requires people to wakep early will be inconvenienced and it will turn into a partisan battle. Is it election day yet?

I will be on my honeymoon next week in Bangkok and Phuket. I will try to do this again next week, but understand if I can't.

[madaboutharry]

1. Well done!

[KG]

2. epic. must be tuff picking out the, uh, gems, from the avalanche of right wing fucknuttery....

[Nanjing to Seoul]

3. Yes. I left out Steve King. . .but don't worry, he's there for next week.

[Divernan]

4. Very good.

You gotta be a reincarnated member, or a VERY long time lurker to recall the Top Ten Conservative Idiots. Whichever, nice job & have a wonderful, wonderful honeymoon!

[Nanjing to Seoul]

19. look up my old name: Suji to Seoul

[SnowCritter]

5. Bravo!

I look forward to the next installment.

[CurtEastPoint]

6. VERY well done! Thank you!

[Scuba]

7. A. Thanks for doing this. B. If you do this on your honeymoon you need therapy.

[skydive forever]

8. Very good first effort.

Brought back a lot of memories. Well done. Thanks.

[glowing]

9. Needs pics to go along with the Top 10... That's what made it so great and probably time consuming.

But I do miss it, and if you are doing this, it will be a wonderful addition to DU again. It was 1 of the things that made me pop on here in the first place all those long years ago.

[Firebrand Gary]

10. Absolutely superb!

[joshcryer]

11. The hero we need, but not the one we deserve.

<3

[Squinch]

12. Happy honeymoon!!!

[trof]

13. K&R! Yes! Bring back the Top 10! Well done.

[BumRushDaShow]

14. Thank you! This is what belongs on the front page

And the next set MUST include Steve King!

[voteearlyvoteoften]

15. Thank you

Good job and
Congratulations on your marriage

[surrealAmerican]

16. k & r

nicely done

[The Wizard]

17. The top ten crackpots

in their own words like "Don't cast aspersions on my asparagus." would be a hoot. Louie Gohmert is a treasure trove of imbecilic commentary. Steve Ku Klux King is a laugh a minute, and just for laughs Eric Cantor is anal leakage.

[Deep13]

18. A truly righteous rant.

[Mopar151]

20. Hey, thanks for a great edition of "Idiots"!

I'd like to see a Bob Boudelang comeback, but he's probably going to run for Congress under another name.......

[Nanjing to Seoul]

21. I miss Bob. I loved Equal Time with Bob Boudelang. I can just imagine his tea party rants today.

[Mopar151]

63. He'd be picking up the NSA on his dentures...n/t

[reformist2]

22. I love all the little symbols, though I think I need a decoder for some of them.

OK, I see right-clicking the mini-icons helps.

[DinahMoeHum]

23. Thank you thank you thank you. . .

. . .and good luck. After all this waiting, we can wait a little bit more.

Enjoy your honeymoon!

[ananda]

24. Thank you!

That was great!

[Doc Holliday]

25. Thank you.

Sometimes you don't realize how much you miss something. TTCI used to be one of my main reasons to come to DU.

My only criticism (if you can even call it that-- it's probably just nitpicking) would be to spend a bit more time proofreading before the finished product goes up.

Thanks again....good job. Someone needed to.

[Doc Holliday]

26. Oh, and by the way....

...."honeymooning in Bangkok and Phuket...."

(insert Beavis & Butthead chuckle)

[Divernan]

29. Facepalm! I missed that one!

[WCGreen]

44. Yep, that is what I caught as well...

Cracked me up...

[greiner3]

27. Great post;

Not to hijack your post but I've always had a laugh at other countries words/places that translate into English as, well..

'Bangkok and Phuket'

I'm not sure of the original pronunciation of the latter but the former is a Puritan's delight.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

32. Poo-ket

and yes, i mispronounced it for years.

[shenmue]

28. Thank you

That was neat!

[TBF]

30. Outstanding!

And happy wedding

[Laelth]

31. Very nicely done.

Your sig line is the icing on the cake. Thanks.



-Laelth

[freshwest]

33. Congratulations on the honeymoon and thanks for the excellent OP! Well done!

[spooky3]

34. Love the last line in #9.

[Scurrilous]

35. Nice job!

K & R

[jazzimov]

36. Awesome job!

I remember laughing with a stranger about the DU Top 10 Idiots. You did a great job, especially with the icons! Love your sense of humor!

If I remember correctly, the reason for stopping the Top 10 was that they had trouble narrowing the list down to only 10....

Happy Honeymoon!

[blondie58]

37. bravo, Nanjing!

I have missed the top 10 forever.

You are a natural fit.

Thank you, thank you!

[sakabatou]

38. If only metadata could be inserted or a key to the icons

I forget which each one means. Been to long, but a great job bringing it back.

[SunSeeker]

39. Great job! How about adding a survey for which one is the worst?

[rhett o rick]

40. Thank you. nm

[HeiressofBickworth]

41. You might live 8000 miles away

but you certainly have your finger on the pulse of this nation.

Congratulations on the post and thanks for your keen observations.

[Make7]

42. Nice work! I have some minor coding suggestions...

... to make it look more like this:

[div style="display:block; padding:20px; width:100%; border:6px solid #ADD8E6; border-radius:0.4em;"]
[font style="font-size:1.539em;"]JOHN BOEHNER[/font] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Crybaby"][div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Spin"][div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Hypocrisy"][div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Lame"][div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Obstructionist"]

Starting off the new attempt at the Top 10 is the most ineffective, pathetic excuse for a Speaker of the House in the history of FOREVER. . .John “Orange Vodka” Boehner. On a recent showing of Meet the Press, the Ohio tearduct was asked why this Congress, as of 7-7-13, passed just 15 bills that have been signed into law. Met with this fact, John-Boy responded in the oddest way possible:
[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]“BOEHNER: Well, Bob, we should not be judged on how many new laws we create. We ought to be judged on how many laws we repeal. We’ve got more laws than the administration could ever enforce.”
Okay, let's examine this for thirty seconds. Congress isn't now not supposed to propose and pass laws, but repeal the laws we already have. Anyone with half a brain knows that this is a threat against the ACA that the gives the GOP strokes and heart attacks. But, okay, Orange Boy, let's look how many laws you repeal: ZERO!!! Like you! A complete zero! WORST. SPEAKER. EVER!
Show the name first under the count banner, make it big and bold and place the key images immediately to the right. If you mouse over the key images, a popup text box tells you what it means. Make the excerpt color coordinated with the count banner graphic and add a border/shadow instead of being just plain grey.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

43. I do not know how to do that. PM me a template I can use. I will do that next time.

[Make7]

68. This is the code I used...

... for the name:

[div class="excerpt" style="margin-left:1em; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-radius:0.4615em; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #999999 inset;"][font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"][b]Name Here[/b][/font]
.. for the excerpt:

[div class="excerpt" style="margin-left:1em; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-radius:0.4615em; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #999999 inset;"][div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Text Here[/div]
... and the images:

[div class="excerpt" style="margin-left:1em; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-radius:0.4615em; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #999999 inset;"][div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Crybaby"]http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/icons/crybaby.gif[/div]

[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Spin"]http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/icons/spin.gif[/div]

[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Hypocrisy"]http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/icons/hypocrisy.gif[/div]

[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Lame"]http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/icons/lame.gif[/div]

[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Obstructionist"]http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/icons/obstructionist.gif[/div]
The hover text on the images is just icing on the cake - since it would take quite a bit of time to do all of them I probably wouldn't expend the effort for a whole Top 10 list. As you can see above, the stuff you would need to change is in bold - the name should display as all caps no matter what the case of the letters you paste in.

It looks like you are using a word-processor to do your writing, it shouldn't be too difficult to create some macros to insert the code and then just replace the name or quoted text. You could also use a browser add-on to insert text in the DU message text box - I use Paste Email Plus for FireFox.

I replied here instead of a PM because I can get the square brackets for the code to show up in a post but not in a PM - and I don't like doing this when it can't be copied directly and I need to tell people to do it just like that except with [ ] instead of <>.

[sakabatou]

50. That's the way I remember it.

[Chipper Chat]

45. This weekly post hooked me on DU back in 2004.

I really miss it. Thanks for "bringing it back." so to speak. For No. #1 however, the North Carolina Pubby Guvmint is my choice. IDIOTS! IDIOTS! IDIOTS!

[awoke_in_2003]

46. Very good...

and it reads like the Idiots of old. Nicely done.

[dembotoz]

47. nice

thank you
I really missed this

[Spitfire of ATJ]

48. There are some people who found DU with the "Top 10 Conservative Idiots".

[Hissyspit]

64. I would be one.

[connecticut yankee]

49. Wonderful

You did a great job. I really miss the feature,which was my favorite, and you captured it perfectly.

I wish you many years of happiness.

[calimary]

51. Fantastic!!!!! REALLY enjoyed these, Nanjing to Seoul!

EXCELLENT job! Thanks for the time and effort and wit you put into this list!

Thank you so much! Tremendously enjoyable reading!!!

Please, by all means do more - when you can. Have a spectacular honeymoon!!!!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

52. Oh, that felt good. :)

Glad to see the list back. It's what brought me here in the first place.

Wonderful job, Nanjing to Seoul! Thank you!

[indepat]

53. The sagacity in naming Masha to the top ten list is so unassailable as to add considerable validity

to the entire list.

[marble falls]

54. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

[JohnnyRingo]

55. Kudos Nanjing

Welcome back Top Ten Conservative Idiots.

[Spazito]

56. Great work!

Thanks for the work you did in putting this together, it is wonderful! It was the Top 10 that first brought me to DU via buzzfeed over 10 years ago.

[Initech]

57. Hell yes!!

[NYC_SKP]

58. Congratulations!

And have a wonderful honeymoon, and thanks for the top ten!

[niyad]

59. k and r for a most excellent job!! like many here, ttci was my introduction to DU, and have missed

it for a very long time. my late best friend betty and I would race on sunday night to see who got to it first, and would giggle and laugh and snicker through the entire list.

thanks for bringing this back, and enjoy your honeymoon.

[Agschmid]

60. Nice job!

I tried to do this too, it's hard work! Good luck!

[Hulk]

61. Thanks a bunch!

You get an A+ for your first performance. You hit all the right "clowns" on the heads. Honestly, we wonder why this country is stuck in a shit hole? Maybe we don't.

It's going to be hard to beat this line-up for next week; but I'm sure the reich-wing will throw us some beauties. They always seem to come through.

Have a wonderful honeymoon. Never been to Bangkok, and probably never will be in the neighborhood. I hear it's great...at least in many aspects.

I'll definitely keep an eye out for candidates for your future posting. I love it!

[OldRedneck]

62. You deserve a break!!! Enjoy Phuket!!

Boiling down the Republican idjits to only ten is HARD work . . . after all, there are hundreds to choose from, each equally deserving of the honor . . . you deserve a break!!

[malaise]

66. "Most excellent"

Enjoy your honeymoon.

[chazzio]

67. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[Generic Brad]

69. Great job!

All their wingnuttery has been downplayed around here recently. Thank you for bring us back to our roots!

[Scurrilous]

70. Boink.