Top Ten Conservative idiots of the week.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Honeymoon Edition[/font]

I am sitting in Don Mueang Airport in Thailand waiting for the next part of my trip to Phuket. While my significant other scarfs down Pad Thai and I eat fried rice, I decided to kill the layover and do the Top 10, since there is so much dumbfuckery this week. Steve King (1) leads the pack, the McDonnell family (3) is really close, Rush Limbaugh is losing ground (5), as well as distributors, the GOP is shooting themselves with automatic weapons (6, 7) and Christopher Doyle (10) proves how small his intellect and follower base is. And as always, don't forget the key.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Steve King[/font]


Michele Bachmann is leaving office amid a huge ethics cloud, so we on this side of the spectrum feel a little sadness in our hearts that Congress's Most Batshit Crazy critter has left the public arena. No worries, though. . .there are plenty of people to take that lunatic's place: Louie Gohmert, Darrell Issa, Peter King, James Sensenbrenner, Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, or today's front-runner for the title, Steve King of Iowa.

In a recent interview for Newsmax, King was asked about the DREAM Act and the DREAMers. A logical answer would be “If they offer something tangible to the advancement of the American way of life and economy, they should be fast tracked to citizenship, regardless of immigration quotas or out-dated immigration laws that need to be changed.” No. . .I'll let Steve King's words |speak for themselves:

KING: For everyone who’s a valedictorian, there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. Those people would be legalized with the same act.

Wait. What? Could you repeat that? Mexicans are now just drug mules for the cartels. Amazing how Steve King, from the border state of Iowa can say that when most elected people from border-states (Joe Arpaio and Louie Gohmert are exceptions) have never mentioned that Mexicans are shifty, criminally motivated drug mules for the Pot market. I am from Arizona originally, and while I have issues with McCain, Flake, Brewer, Horne and the rest of the dingus that runs that state, I can rest assured knowing they don't consider Mexicans simply drug mules.

Which just leads to this picture that I stole from the internet that just complete describes Steve King perfectly.


King quickly stated after the interview that “privately,” his GOP co-conspirators agreed fully with him, adding “next we need to ship them ex-slaves back to Africa where they belong.”

KING: My colleagues are standing by me. They come up to me constantly and talk to me and say, you’re right, I know you’re right,” King said. “Is the description such that they have to go out to the press and do a press conference or can they come and tell me, I know you’re right, I support you? They can do that privately.

Be prepared for a rebranding of the GOP's logo, where the elephant is replaced with “White and Proud” superimposed on a klanhood.

However, some didn't like what King stated. A few DREAMers showed up at King's office (when King was conveniently not available or even around) with cantaloupes to protest. Look at the picture below. Notice anything strange. Two minorities surrounded by white people, while the white police officer has his hand on his holster all set to arrest these “two uppity ethnics” for the well established crime of “ruffling the feathers of the Upper 1% while not being part of the Upper 1%.”



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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Mark Kessler[/font]

To protect and serve. Protect against enemies foreign and domestic. These are the mantra of the police. Except if a Democrat is president. Meet Mark Kessler, police chief of Gilberton in Pennsylvania, a man who loves his guns so much, he goes on youtube and threatens anyone to “take his guns away.

KESSLER: Fuck all you libtards out there ... yous take it in the ass," he says in the video, posted in mid-July. "I don't give a fuck what you say, so you can all go fuck yourselves. Period.

Damn, uppity black man. Let me count how many times Democrats have stated they want to confiscate guns: ZERO!!! Yet the NRA gundamentalists love this shit more than sex, motherhood and apple pie. They think this because there is a movement going to reup the assault weapons ban that AWOL McFuckstick allowed to relapse (sorry, I can't bring myself to type his name). Because every good hunter, like me, knows the best way to go squirrel hunting is with an AR or an AK or another weapons used for combat. After you shoot the squirrel, there might be enough left to make. . .nothing!

Apparently, the city council didn't like what he said on youtube and voted5-1 to suspend him. Be prepared for this right wing nut to run to the ACLU and complain the big bad government is stifling his freedom of speech to threaten gun control advocates, while those killed in gun violence can have their freedom of speech stifled by his, and others (Newtown, Boulder, Littleton, Fort Hood, etc) second amendment right to own a howitzer.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]The McDonnell family[/font]

I remember a long time ago (DUers in Louisiana please help me) that there was a governmental election where David Duke ran against a convicted white collar criminal and the joke around the nation was “The Bigot v. The Crook.” Duke lost.

Florida did the same thing with Rick Scott, who has huge white-collar criminal allegations swirling around him before he was election. Virginia governor and Tea-bag enabler Bob McDonnell decided to forego ethics and everything in order to use the governorship as an ATM for himself and his family, especially his wife Maureen.

Virginia first lady Maureen McDonnell bought nearly $9,800 in clothing with money from her husband’s political action committee and tapped into his campaign and inaugural funds to buy $7,600 in mostly unspecified items, according to records and a representative for the PAC.

On top of that:

Maureen McDonnell’s use of political donations comes to light at a time when she and her husband, Gov. Robert F. McDonnell (R), are under intense scrutiny for accepting luxury items and $120,000 in loans from wealthy Virginia businessman Jonnie R. Williams Sr. Federal and state investigators are probing the Star Scientific executive’s ties to the McDonnells, who promoted his firm’s nutritional supplement, Anatabloc. Last week the governor apologized for embarrassing the commonwealth and repaid the loans.

That's a lot of money and gifts for someone. Imagine if it were a Democrat. Wait, there are scandals around Democrats. What I find amazing is that, in San Diego, Bob Filner is under sexual harassment charges and Anthony “let me show you my” Weiner sexted people not his wife. . .and people screamed for (and in Weiner's case got) resignations. Yet no one has screamed for Bob McDonnell's immediate resignation. Which just goes to show. Perverts are unacceptable. . .crooks are a-okay. If he get out of prison, maybe Bernie Madoff will run for president. He knows how to milk the system really well.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Darrell Issa[/font]

Racism knows it has a home in the Republican party. Every since the Dixiecrats left the Democratic Party (for the better of the Democratic Party, I might add), the GOP has been a haven of racist assholes. Enter Darrell Issa (R-CA). Issa is famous for the Benghazi-asm, IRS-asm and arson, but after Elijah Cummings challenged Issa, Issa reverted to the age old Republican mantra: Condescending racist jargon:

ISSA: I'm always shocked when the ranking member seems to want to say, like a little boy whose hand has been caught in a cookie jar, 'What hand? What cookie?' I've never said it leads to the White House

Issa needs a bib. He drools on himself every time he opens his mouth. He needs to realize how much of a stain he is on the Republican Party. However, with his bullshit, I think he might suprise Steve King as the new “Batshit Craziest Congresscritter.” Only time will tell.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rush Limbaugh[/font]


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I'm sorry, I need to be mature. Rush Limbaugh is a human being and I shouldn't laugh at his misfort. . .oh, fuck that noise! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He's getting booted at the end of the year by Cumulus. Apparently he is too toxic for right wing spew machines. He (and his mini me clone Sean Hannity) are getting booted!!!

In a major shakeup for the radio industry, Cumulus Media, the second-biggest broadcaster in the country, is planning to drop both Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity from its stations at the end of the year, an industry source told POLITICO on Sunday

The Tonnage On Loan from Satan's Ass is still the defacto head of the GOP and is still sending marching orders. In a rare interview with Fox News (surprise, surprise):

LIMPBALLS: I always thought that as Republicans we opposed Democrats. We wanted to beat them. I don't see that. I don't see any pushback against anything Obama wants to do," Limbaugh told Van Susteren. "The pushback's against the Tea Party. The pushback is against conservatives. It's a stunning thing. The Republican Party's decided that capitulation with the Democrats seems to be the ongoing strategy.

Want more turds of wisdom from the asshole. Here you go.

LIMPBALLS: No, let's go ahead and let ObamaCare be fully implemented and it will implode on itself and people will see how bad it is," he said, mimicking the Republican leadership. "Well, that's not a strategy; that's capitulation. That's not even pushing back against it.... They're capitulating with what the Democrats want. And not just on this, but on immigration, amnesty, whatever you want to call it.

More conservative? They have alienated women, minorities, homosexuals, Muslims, immigrants, the working poor (something he claims does not exist), unemployed and the young. Who else is left to piss off?

I want to finish this entry on a mature note, so I will slam an atheist. Bill Maher, there is a God. He got tired of hearing Limbaugh saying he was on Loan from God. . .so God finally answered all liberals' prayers. Limbaugh is getting booted! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, can't be mature at all.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]GOP Circular Firing Squad volley #1: Rand Paul[/font]



Ron Paul is a stopped clock. I agree with him twice a day. His ending the American Empire and ending the Drug War are about the only things he says I agree with. Ron Paul at least has that.

His demon spawn offspring Rand Paul, on the other hand. . .what can I say about this troglodyte that has not been already said. Here is a list of bullshit that can been puked out of his mouth.

However, one thing I can support in Rand Paul is his desire to destroy the Republican Party from within. So, with all the bombs he lobs at people in his party, it shows him to be the sick psycho the Tea Partiers try to hide. This time, Rand decided to attack. . .Hurricane Sandy victims.

PAUL: The people who want to criticize me and call me names, they are precisely the same people who are unwilling to cut the spending. They are ‘Gimme, gimme, gimme all my Sandy money now.’ Those are the people who are bankrupting the government and not allowing enough money be left over for national defense.

So, he targeted New Jersey ballast and human globe impersonator Chris Christie. The same Chris Christie that is supported by the Koch Brothers (that supports the Tea Bag movement), has all but destroyed New Jersey public education and is believed to be thinking of running for president in 2016. Surely the Republican establishment will support one of their own. . .


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]GOP Circular Firing Squad volley #1: The Establishment[/font]


. . .But in an amazing display of eating themselves alive, the Republicans have turned on Rand Paul. Here is Chris Christie, ballast governor of New Jersey:

“I find it interesting that Sen. Paul is accusing us of having a “Gimme, gimme, gimme” attitude toward federal spending when in fact New Jersey is a donor state and we get 61 cents back on every dollar we send to Washington. Interestingly, Kentucky gets $1.51 on every dollar they send to Washington,” Christie said,"

Ready, Aim. . .FIRE!!! What I find amazing is Steve King can spout racist attitudes and, in private, Republicans agree with him. Rand Paul can attack people that were victims of a hurricane and he gets blowback. So, the new motto of the GOP is: “Victim blaming = bad. Racism = good!” Good luck with that message, guys.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Indiana Legislature[/font]


Indiana is as red a state as they come. It is a red spot in a mostly blue and purple area of the country. They elected Mitch Daniels governor, then decided to punish themselves more by electing Mike Pence. Masochism is the Republican hobby.

Indiana was the first state to try to defund and destroy Planned Parenthood for reasons that any invertebrate would find fraudulent. But, apparently, all that is over because they have given up.

After a legal battle that has stretched over the course of two years, the state of Indiana has agreed to put an end to its efforts to strip Medicaid funding from Planned Parenthood clinics. Indiana was the first state that attempted to target the national women’s health organization by blocking it from receiving state-level Medicaid dollars for the services it provides to low-income women.

In 2011, Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN) signed a law to prevent Planned Parenthood from receiving any Medicaid funding simply because it is an abortion provider — even though that money actually funds general health screenings for thousands of low-income women, not abortions. That sparked a national trend. Anti-abortion lawmakers in states like Arizona, North Carolina, Kansas, Tennessee, and Texas followed suit, enacting similar laws intended to defund the women’s health organization by excluding it from their states’ pools of public insurance providers.

But those efforts have been largely unsuccessful. Multiple courts have determined that states aren’t allowed to discriminate against qualified Medicaid providers simply because of their stance on abortion rights, saying that low-income women deserve the freedom to choose their own doctors.

So the War on Women is beginning to fail (finally). Tell Rick Perry that, before he restricts a woman's right to get a mammogram, since breast cancer is God's punishment for not being born a man.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]John Boehner[/font]


The worst Speaker of the House in the history of forever spoke again and everyone either rolled their eyes, yawned or laughed. The background: President Obama is going on the road to tout his jobs plan. Enter “Orange Vodka” Johnny to comment.

OHIO TEARDUCT: Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) may want to make like President Obama and hit the road soon.
When the Speaker was asked on Wednesday about the president’s speeches around the country to promote his economic plan, he replied by citing Obama’s lackluster approval ratings.
“I’m not going to speak to what the president is doing or why he’s doing it,” Boehner told reporters. “If I had poll numbers as low as his, I’d probably be out doing the same thing if I were him.”

Yes, Obama's approval ratings are at 48%. This is not good for a sitting president, but it's still nearly half the country. Let's look at “Orange Crush” now. 18%. Less than one in five think the Ohio Tearduct is doing a bang up job.

His own caucus has all but abandoned him, his majority leader is chomping at the bit to take him down as Speaker, and Congress has passed only 15 bills that were signed into law this year (but he believes we need to judge him on how many laws they repeal, like the forty times they tried, and failed, to destroy and repeal the Affordable Care Act). Someone this irrelevant doesn't deserve time on the Top 10 list, so until Boehner does something worthwhile, I am retiring his name. I don't waste time with small timers anymore. WORST. SPEAKER. EVER.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Christopher Doyle et. al[/font]

Christopher Doyle is a man who believes gays can be cured from their malady of being gay. He and MarcusBachmann (there is batshit crazy Michele's batshit crazier hubby) are of the same mold. He planned a massive rally for people who have been cured of being gay; ex-gays as he called them. Let's look at the photos of this massive rally, which he said would be in the thousands.

Well, despite the expectation that “thousands of ex-gays” would partake in Ex-Gay Pride Month, fewer than ten people showed up for the big event.

Fewer than ten showed. EPIC FAIL. No punchline is needed. Just enjoy the fact that there homophobes were shown up for the idiots they are. Puts a smile on my face.

What makes it worst is they have no shame in the fact that no one cares what they say, they still speak in front of microphones like they are talking to thousands. Delusion. Welcome to the Republican Party.


See you next week back home in Suzhou.

[jessie04]

1. +1,000,000

[Gidney N Cloyd]

35. +1,000,001 !

Welcome back Top 10!

[Warpy]

2. Oh, thanks! The problem is that just when you've heard the worst dumbfuckery,

these old boys (mostly) keep right on talking.

Thanks for the blast from the past. I think I even remember what most of the symbols stand for.

Too bad there wasn't a hammock icon for Boehner. Since he's invoked the unconstitutional Hastert Rule, he no longer has to pretend to work, at all.

[greatauntoftriplets]

3. Nicely done!

[hwmnbn]

4. Thanks, K&R...

...very nice and now with kick-ass graphics!

[Initech]

5. I hate to nitpick but both #6 and #7 both read "GOP Circular Firing Squad #1".

But otherwise great list!

[struggle4progress]

6. I'm surprised more people aren't sympathetic to the plight of ex-gays. Some many governments

around the world will throw you in prison for being ex-gay! And in so many places nowadays, politicians are even calling for the execution of ex-gays! Doesn't it bother people that it's actually against the law in much of the United States for ex-gays to marry? There are regularly calls in Congress for a constitutional amendment to prevent ex-gay-marriage! Sometimes ex-gays are even assaulted by complete strangers, just for being ex-gay!

You can sign a petition to stop the persecution of ex-gays and to contribute to this worthy cause here

[Gregorian]

7. The icons are priceless!

Threee white hoods.

[RevStPatrick]

8. Wait... Really?

Is the Top 10 back in action?

This was the feature that brought me to DU originally.
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #1.
It's always been a laugh a minute...

[russspeakeasy]

13. +1 for the top ten !!

[awoke_in_2003]

18. Yes, Nanjing has taken up the gauntlet...

and doing a really fine job, IMO.

[nxylas]

41. Yay for Nanjing

Though I still miss Skinner and EarlG's contributions.

[Deny and Shred]

29. Kudos

The Top Ten was my initial reason for checking in each week.

[MrScorpio]

9. Woo-Hoo!

Glad to see the Top Ten making a return

[onethatcares]

10. eggsackery when do we find out who

is "ex gay"? Or are they going to let us know when they "demand to be heard"?

sheeesh, do you think they have a website that says, "send me money"???

[longship]

11. Woo Hoo! The Top Ten is back!!

Now we need the DUzys!

R&

[Skittles]

12. you must agonize on how to narrow it down to 10

I salute you!

[Spitfire of ATJ]

14. It really is amazing to consider John Boehner is second in line for the Presidency.

[awoke_in_2003]

19. Third, actually...

don't forget about Joe.

On edit: of course, that could read correctly if you meant not including the president.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

25. "In line" implies after.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_line_of_succession

[awoke_in_2003]

27. Yeah, I misread what you said. nt

[maddiemom]

15. Darryll Issa is a scary guy with a nasty agenda. Putting a crook who just lucked out

over criminal convictions into such a powerful position is jaw dropping. Rand Paul would come in a close second if not for Ted Cruz, who didn't make your list. This guy has jumped onto the national, elected political scene like gangbusters after way less than a year in the Senate. He can only get impossibly worse. I'm glad to see you've resurrected "Conservative Idiots," but calling Issa, Paul (and I have to toss in Cruz) "idiots" is like making fun of the snake you just heard rattle. Ridicule may knock the pompous types down a few pegs, but please don't underestimate these guys: they're a nasty bunch, not merely fools.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

34. you can always send me nominees. Mark Kessler was one a DUer sent me.

I only have ten places. I would be easy to write: "#1 EVERY REPUBLICAN IN CONGRESS. Nuff said." But it defeats the purpose.

Ted is up there too. Let's see what Cruz does this week.

[greiner3]

16. Shoot me down if you think I'm wrong;

But it sure looks as though there are several 'real-time' gays pictured; and they are not in the ex-gay 'lineup'.

If Tim from Tool Time was right about all the flannel shirts what's his name wore, then the two guys standing together 'Could be Gay'.

The other guy that caught my eye is from the second photo, the one with his hand on his hip, with the thumb pointing forward.

Ok, let the flaming begin (of course, no pun intended!).

[niyad]

17. k and r and thank you for resurrecting one of our favourite parts of DU

[icarusxat]

48. yes, yes,yes

This was always one of the best features on DU. One of the other best was being able to read comments from intelligent people...

Thank you

[mercymechap]

20. Too funny, sad that it's true, though.

I liked the part about Rush and Hannity being booted, none too soon.

[msanthrope]

21. Kick and Rec--bang up job!!!! nt

[wandy]

22. Thank you. Well done. This should happen more often! nt

[marble falls]

23. Thanks!

[janlyn]

24. Ohio tearduct !?!

Ah, thanks for the laugh! Priceless, I will never call him anything else!!!

[Vietnameravet]

26. Hardest part of making this entry must have been limiting it to only ten..

[brer cat]

28. Fantastic job!

Have a great trip.

[relayerbob]

30. What I just cannot understand ...

is how you can narrow it down to just ten!

[flying rabbit]

31. Very nice. nt

[Squinch]

32. .

[treestar]

33. good one!

I like Boner being too small potatoes for your time in future!

[Number23]

36. Had no idea Limbaugh and Hannity were getting the boot!

Great news!

[amb123]

37. Duke ran for LA Governor against Edwin Edwards in 1991.

"Vote for the Crook (Edwards). It's Important."

"Vote for the Lizard, not the Wizard."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Duke#1991_campaign_for_Governor_of_Louisiana

[Oldtimeralso]

38. Great Work!!!

Thank You, Nanjing to Suzhou

I really do appreciate your efforts. Your humor is over the top, of course narrowing down your subject matter to just ten a week would be difficult.

[ismnotwasm]

39. Excellent

I miss the Top Ten

[4_TN_TITANS]

40. How did I miss the return of the Top Ten?!

I remember years ago looking forward, breathlessly, to every Monday morning for the Top Ten.

This such a good recruitment item for DU.

Thanks Guys! I'm upping my donations because of the extra effort.

[JohnnyRingo]

42. K&R

Well Done!
Thanx for posting.

[trumad]

43. Excellent work

You make DU good.

Nuff said!

[Sander]

44. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

I first came to DU after reading one of your rants in 2006, I think. I was disappointed when you stopped posting. And now, I see you have returned in rare form. Thank you for giving me a great chuckle.

[amuse bouche]

45. Well done

Dang they are horrid humans

[niyad]

49. horrid they are. . .human is questionable

[Scurrilous]

46. Good job!

K & R

[Javaman]

47. Yayyy! nt