I trust The Cloud
Reading about possible NSA Cloud-sweeps looking for stashed Snowden docs got me thinking...
We should probably outlaw all data storage on a personal hardware device and mandate that all data must exist in The Cloud, a vast uni-cloud where everything will be totally secure unless someone wants to sift through it all, which nobody would do except in an emergency, and besides, I have nothing to hide.
And who can resist that adorable widdle face?
We could eliminate child pornography overnight... or could if we searched The Cloud, which we never would except for a very good reason, which child pornography obviously is...
Okay, wait... we would search the cloud only for child pornography. That would, of course, require searching the entire cloud... but only for child pornography. And terrorists and drug dealers, but that goes without saying.
Okay, so we read all data anyone types into an electronic device, including everything a person writes only for themselves, but only if it is child-terror-drug-porn which we know from reading it. Which we of course would not do.
Hmmm... okay, we make it a felony to create or save a data file of any sort that is child-drug-terror without labeling it with a child-drug-terror heading. That way we could read only the stuff labeled child-drug-terror (CCDT... the extra C is for 'classified'... I forgot classified stuff evil-doers might have parked in The Cloud which we, of course, need to find out about.)
Most terrorists and drug-dealers and pedophiles are pretty law-abiding and would use the mandated heading codes, but to flush out the few bad apples in the child-drug-terror community we would enforce the CCDT labeling law by reading the contents of all files without that label to make sure they didn't have any CCDT content.
Okay, so a little reading of absolutely everything is required, but mostly to prove the innocence of our files, and who would object to a process geared toward establishing their innocence?
In any event, the only people tasked with reading everything while not reading anything would all be folks who know how to keep a secret, like Edward Snowden.
So on balance, yeah... I trust The Cloud.
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