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Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:52 AM

I can't handle anymore deaths

Since August of 2012 I been beset with misfortune I fell off a ladder my Uncle died 4 days later My parents couldn't afford a burial we had to cremate him which he always said he didn't want January, 3, 2013 my 44 year old cousin dies from diabetes and a heart attack March 13, 2013 my dad passes 10 days after being diagnosed with cancer, April 2013 Mom is admitted to ICU with pneumonia and has had a small stroke. June 2013 I am admitted to the James Cancer Center with possible Ovarian Cancer, I have complete hysterectomy on June 24. July 13 2013 My mother has a massive heart attack I pull her off the bed to do CPR she dies hours later at the hospital. August 25 2013 my Aunt passes from cancer. Now I am being told I need more tests because I am still bleeding from a hysterectomy and my CA 125 is slightly elevated. I am losing my husband to another woman though he doesn't know I know about cause he just leaves without telling me most of the time so now I am dealing with that She called for him I answered his "work" phone not knowing. We have 4 kids I am being evicted because SSD has not come through and my husband barely makes enough to pay all the bills. I need my DU friends now more than ever I need a shoulder to cry on that isn't family they too have been through enough this year.

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Arrow 15 replies Author Time Post
Reply I can't handle anymore deaths (Original post)
rbrnmw Sep 2013 OP
IdaBriggs Sep 2013 #1
peace13 Sep 2013 #2
PasadenaTrudy Sep 2013 #3
rbrnmw Sep 2013 #8
PasadenaTrudy Sep 2013 #4
Mnemosyne Sep 2013 #5
raging moderate Sep 2013 #6
rbrnmw Sep 2013 #7
riderinthestorm Sep 2013 #9
rbrnmw Sep 2013 #14
nadinbrzezinski Sep 2013 #10
qanda Sep 2013 #11
etherealtruth Sep 2013 #12
otohara Sep 2013 #13
rbrnmw Sep 2013 #15

Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:54 AM

1. Yikes!

 

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:58 AM

2. That is too much for anyone.

 

Love and energy to you my friend. A giant hug to you.

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 10:00 AM

3. I am so sorry

You are being hit with way too much for ANYONE to handle. Does the hospital where your mom passed have social services? When I lost my dad to cancer I needed so much help. I was only 23 and my mother was mentally ill and suddenly my responsibility. I got counseling with a social worker at the hospital because I had no one else to offer support. I really hope you can find some help soon. I will keep you in my thoughts!

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Response to PasadenaTrudy (Reply #3)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 08:59 PM

8. I am going to a therapist in Oct

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 10:02 AM

4. Also...

You make want to post over on the Lounge, it seems to be a better place for the personal and you will get more support I think

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 10:03 AM

5. ...

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 10:45 AM

6. I am so sorry about all this! You ARE going through a VERY rough time.


You are VERY heroic. Only a few weeks after your hysterectomy, still weak and in pain from major surgery, you pulled your mother off the bed to do CPR. Rest assured, dear brave soul, your mother knew how great your love and courage were in that moment, and it eased her passing to know that she had raised such a great soul! Major surgery alone inevitably makes it physically difficult for people to do their best thinking, and you sound like a person whose best thinking is usually extremely good. Take heart, and wait for recovery, and you will be able to see what to do just as you have all your life. Incidentally, maybe that heroic act would have delayed your recovery from surgery, and this bleeding/CA elevation setback you mentioned is only temporary? I do not mean to presume to know what you should do, but I bet you are not the first person in your area to be in your situation, and there should be a bunch of people nearby who should do something for you. Maybe show up in person, so they can see how your strong character is propelling you even in your current weakened state. The suggestion above to seek out the hospital social worker is a wise one, and I urge you to call a lot of agencies, churches, etc., until somebody helps you. As for your husband, well, maybe he is a perennial wilting flower, or maybe he will come to his senses and do better by you. You deserve better, and so do your four beautiful children. Someday, you will be recovered, and your children will be grownups. They will remember your heroism, your courage, your perseverance. They will remember your love which nurtured and guided them. And so will you!

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Response to raging moderate (Reply #6)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 08:58 PM

7. Your post made me cry thanks

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:01 PM

9. What is your Wishadoor name and how can we help?!

 

I remember your story...please post the link so maybe we can help you....



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Response to riderinthestorm (Reply #9)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:21 PM

14. rbrnmw Robin is my first name

Last edited Thu Sep 12, 2013, 10:01 PM - Edit history (1)

http://www.wishadoo.org/rbrnmw/

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:02 PM

10. Let me offer you more than a shoulder

 

if you need to, feel free to PM

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:06 PM

11. A lot of illness is stress related

You have been through SOOOOO much that you may need to see a counselor. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had a million dollars because I would at least take away the part that could be solved by money. In the meantime, please accept a big hug from me.

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:09 PM

12. So much loss

I am so very sorry things are so hard for you.

Sadly, life can be very unfair.

hoping things get better for you ... quickly

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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:09 PM

13. SSDI

 

Is there anyway you could get your DR to write a two page report telling them your problem, add in some medical talk and results of tests and end it with "It is my opinion Mrs. ___ is no longer able to work full-time ever"?

It worked for me.



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Response to rbrnmw (Original post)

Thu Sep 12, 2013, 09:22 PM

15. every comment here has warmed my heart

the last year has been hell but I will not allow it to define me

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