House Republicans Line Up for Free Annual Physicals Before Defunding Obamacare

[TalkingDog]

(The Borowitz Report) by Andy Borowitz

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/09/house-republicans-line-up-for-free-annual-physicals-before-defunding-obamacare.html

The physicals, part of Congress’s government-subsidized health-care package, yielded good news for many of the House G.O.P., who learned that they were strong and healthy enough for the demanding task of defunding Obamacare.

“My blood pressure was lower than I thought it would be,” said Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio). “That’s amazing, because it goes through the roof whenever I think about how Obamacare would destroy America.”

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia)—whose free annual physical included an examination of his heart, lungs, ears, eyes, throat, and blood—said that his doctor proclaimed him in perfect physical condition: “He said I should be able to live a long, healthy life and defund Obamacare for many years to come.”

[leveymg]

1. House Republicans don't line up for anything other than free drinks and to kiss banker's asses.

[HockeyMom]

2. I am not going for my free Medicare Wellness Exam

While I don't want it, if it saves $ for somebody else who does, then good. Maybe if Congress, and others, did this we might have more money for funding.

[kiranon]

3. Hope the Senate and the President reject the House's

latest attempt to end Obamacare. It is the antithesis of democracy for Republicans to made a funding end run around a law passed by both houses of Congress, signed by the President and held constitutional by the Supreme Court. No rational governance can occur if the Tea Party Republicans get away with this anti democratic tactic.

[Scurrilous]

4. Hah!

[NightWatcher]

5. Breaking: Brain scans on House repubs find nothing

Further testing shows none of them have hearts either.

[calimary]

6. God I LOVE Andy Borowitz!

But the thing is - sometimes his columns are too real to be too funny.