I can not have a friend who is a Republican..

[busterbrown]

There are just too many issues which lives depend on, for me to ignore in a relationship..

I’m curious if any of you feel different?

[Lint Head]

1. I try to be up front to everyone and I do have Republican friends but it's hard.

[busterbrown]

2. Especially when they make the dumb jokes about Obama.

They just can’t see anyone objecting to them..

Just can’t be around them..

[Lint Head]

4. Yep. I have problems when I'm around my sister. She's married to a Republican

and he is the conservative Rush Limbaugh loving type. I have had major arguments because of it. I makes me sad to know they will never change. They are getting up there in age.

[brush]

88. Or bash the ACA

I just joined a business networking group to help grow my small business (I got laid off in my state's budget crunch last year).
One of the members got up in the meeting yesterday and said that we all better get ready because prices for our insurance is about to go thru the roof because of Obamacare. Which is just the opposite of what I'd been reading here and from other sources recently which say that the prices have been shown to be considerably lower than present prices.

I listen to progressive satellite radio and there have been numerous callers who say their premium costs will be cut by two thirds — hundreds of dollars a month they can use somewhere else.

This incident, along with another (one of the members got up and read a quote of Richard Nixon's) in the networking meeting made me realize that most of the people in the group were probably republicans.

I'm or course aware of, just as on the job, not to talk about religion or politics but I'm still not sure if I'll be able to stay in the group with most of the people having such a different world view.

[treestar]

100. There was a time when keeping up with current events meant

a person was more informed. Since the dawn of Faux News, that is no longer true. People think they know things when they don't!

[Ms. Toad]

131. If that's the criteria - you'll have to dump about half of your dem friends,

from what I see here from people say about the ACA.

[brush]

164. You could be right . . .

but at least I hold out hope that the recalcitrant dems will come around when they see the real benefits of ACA once it's in place and working.

I don't expect that from repugs. Hell, most of them still want to see the President's long form birth certificate, as if they've even seen their own long form.

[Ms. Toad]

172. I hope you're right.

It isn't perfect, but it is a major improvement over what we have now - and I have been surprised at how many dems seem to want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

[Jenoch]

187. Out of curiosity,

how many Bush jokes did you say in front of Republicans from 2001 until 2009?

I guess I'm more tolerant. I can be around Republicans, we just do not discuss politics.

[cherokeeprogressive]

3. I don't ask my acquaintences what their political affiliations are.

Not even those people I've known for all my life.

Politics doesn't rule my life. I don't eat, breathe, eat, sleep, or think it.

I'll go through my WHOLE day tomorrow, INCLUDING my attendance at a SAME SEX MARRIAGE, without asking a single person what their day-to-day political outlook might be.

Does politics rule your life so much that you could see yourself shutting out of your life some person you'd just met who just might be your "soul mate" based on what you know about their POLITICS?

Shallow.

[Orrex]

7. That's, well, one way to look at it

If you choose to think of it as simply a matter of rejecting/accepting someone because of a self-applied label, then I guess it does seem rather shallow.

But if you accept that one's political views are often indicative of a broader personality, in terms of empathy, compassion, responsibility, etc., then it's not unreasonable to let that person's political views inform your opinion of them. In that sense it's no more shallow than saying "gee, she just kicked a puppy. I might not like her personality after all."

[Common Sense Party]

9. I know many, MANY conservatives and Republicans who are impressive examples of empathy,

compassion, responsibility, etc. There are good people, and bad people, PERIOD. You will find both types in every political party, every social club, every company, every religion (or lack thereof). No one group has a monopoly on kindness.

[Orrex]

12. One's political views aren't the be-all and end-all, sure.

But in my experience a Conservative is more likely than a Liberal to hold basic and important values in direct contrast with mine. I don't reject friendship with them because they're Conservative, but I find it difficult to become friends with someone when our values are so incompatible.

[Common Sense Party]

14. That I can understand.

I also know that some people's political beliefs do change and evolve over time.

[cherokeeprogressive]

24. There's a "self-applied label", and there's a label one applies to a political affiliation...

sight unseen.

Do you know many republicans who've kicked puppies? I don't.

I can TOTALLY understand not liking personalities based on first impressions. I've met thousands of people in my life, and made instant decisions about whether or not they were people I could be friends with. Honestly, I'd have to say their politics were not the deciding factor though, unless they were screaming about right or left when I first encountered them.

There's a hatred I'm guessing I should be feeling, or at least expressing, that honestly I can't feel in my breast. I'm supposed to hate someone, that much is clear, but damned if I can figure out who amongst my acquaintances it should be. I live and consort with people I've known all my life. We don't talk about politics much. Should I call them out, so I know who among them I should shun?

I don't know anyone who kicks puppies.

[Orrex]

83. It's deliberately obtuse to fixate on the hypothetical, hyperbolic example

Last edited Sat Sep 28, 2013, 05:51 PM - Edit history (1)

I chose "kicks puppies" because I figured that any reader could immediately recognize it as an extreme, farcical example. Thank you for proving me wrong.

Who told you that you need to hate anyone? Certainly not me. It's a classic red herring to criticize someone for their hate rather than discuss the issue that's being addressed. I hate no one, frankly, because it's not worth the effort. However, there are people whom I dislike, and sometimes I dislike them because their values, attitudes and behaviors are so incompatible with mine.

Since you're uncomfortable with the hypothetical example, let's instead refer to social issues. If you had a friend who routinely complained about all the lazy Hispanics, drug-addicted blacks, disgusting homosexuals and drunk Native Americans, would you go out of your way to maintain friendship with that person? I suppose that you might, but I probably would not. And would you conclude that this person is likely a Liberal or a Conservative, based on his social views?

Someone at this point typically suggests that true friendship would entail explaining to this friend the error of his thinking, to which I say "I'll believe it when I see it." In all my life, I have never seen someone abandon such deeply held views simply because a "friend" had shown them the light.

[busterbrown]

8. Yes I proudly do.

I’ll say it again when people support politicians who in fact cause people to die.. I cab’t be friends with them.
How many people died or had to loose their home and other assets because of medical bills..

How can you ignore this fact!! Or do you only care what effects you on a personal level?

[madokie]

53. You are one hell of a good person

In life I'm learning to close my ears and to keep my mouth shut when it comes to religion and politics. Our family has agreed to agree to disagree and we leave it at that.
Congratulations to the happy couple, btw.

[bluestate10]

57. Today, you don't have to ask, it seeps right out of them via the blind accusations they make

and the hatred they show toward certain people.

[XOKCowboy]

65. Friendship transcends politics

I have a group of friends that I love and spend as much time with as I can. Many of them are staunch Republicans but when we're together it's all about music and friendship. We don't talk about politics or religion because those things don't define us.

[brush]

91. That's a thought but . . .

. . . then again, I couldn't do the James Carville/Mary Matalin thing. No way could I not be on the same page politically with my mate.

As a matter of fact, I've always wondered if the Carville/Matalin coupling is an agreed-upon arrangement that they came to because it brings them a uniqueness, a visibility on the political scene which therefore birngs lucrative appearance fees, commissions, book deals, pundit appearances and so on?

Had to be like a pre-nup or something. More power to them since they seem to be able to stomach it but I know I couldn't share a bed with someone who agrees with and roots for the likes of Chaney, Cruz, Boehner, McConnell, Rand Paul, Cantor, Limbaugh et al — couldn't do it — or who thinks Stand-your-ground or Stop-and-Frisk laws are just peachy.

Couldn't do it.

[caraher]

103. I think it shows they're both more about the buzz than the policies

It seems like politics are sport and a good way to make a living, rather than about advancing a healthy society. The exchange of hot air and cold cash is their realm, and I think they share more similarities than differences living immersed in the bubble of campaigns and the perpetual horse race.

[brush]

113. You nailed it

"The exchange of hot air and cold cash is their realm"

That sentence of yours is so on the money. Couldn't agree more.

[CANDO]

97. I've noticed...

that the conservatives that I see or am around on a daily basis are so full of angst or tension that they can't help themselves. They never miss an opportunity to lash out about anything political. I think it stems from a feeling of helplessness on their part. The shit they spout scares the hell out of me.

[Shrike47]

105. I don't inquire into political positions with acquaintances, but some people shove it in your face.

I try to be pleasant while walking away.

[Sanddog42]

122. Does politics rule my life? Unfortunately. As a gay person, just being alive is a political act.

[kairos12]

185. "Just being alive is a political act," very wise and elequent words.

[grantcart]

125. +1

[yuiyoshida]

5. One of my best friends is

A Republican. We made a pact to never ever talk Politics and Religion. So we get along great, but we both know if we ever strayed into that territory, we would probably end up hating each others guts, and our friendship is too strong to go in that direction.

[busterbrown]

10. I don’t get it..

She needs to know what you believe in. The welfare of all human beings starting with a single payer healthcare system.. If you can’t help her to look differently at the matter, then she should lose you as a friend.

[yuiyoshida]

13. No...we been friends for years...

I don't tell her how to vote, and she Does not tell me what God to pray to. (I am Buddhist.) I like her and she is very nice. We have helped each other on occasions. She is not a tea bagger, for if she was, She would probably be a racist as well. And, looking at my face, She's knows I am Not Caucasian.

[busterbrown]

15. Got it!!!

[LumosMaxima]

6. I can't be friends with people who don't share my basic values.

So yeah, that pretty much leaves Republicans out.

[Common Sense Party]

11. Could you ever maintain a close relationship with a child who becomes a Republican?

[busterbrown]

18. Absolutely not!!

As Michael Corleone said... “your nothing to me”

You vote against kindness and love for humanity.. And you probably hate Obama.

I don’t know any republicans who deep down does not feels disdain towards Obama..I mean hate..

[Donald Ian Rankin]

70. In which case, you have a moral obligation not to have children, I fear. N.T.

[busterbrown]

79. If a child of mine turns out to be one who has no compassion or empathy. And simply does not

care about the ill or poor in this country....At the same times surrounds himself with all his lavish toys... Then although I will still care about him. I could not give him the time of day.

[babydollhead]

90. I agree

even when they were growing up, there were qualities I would not abide by...selfishness, greediness, intolerance, closed mindedness.

[pipi_k]

135. Sometimes a lack

of compassion and/or empathy points to a condition a person can't help.

http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/07/06/narcissists-lack-of-empathy-tied-to-less-gray-matter/56907.html

IOW, they're not actively choosing to be that way.

So I think it's horrendously sad to read that a parent would "love" their child but not give him the time of day because the kid might suffer from a disability he didn't ask for.

I guess my sadness also goes for anyone else here who doesn't feel he or she can be friends with someone lacking basic "Liberal" empathy.

Especially since there's so much fondness for calling Teabaggers and other RWers "batshit crazy".

So if they're "crazy", they probably can't help it. Which means people are looking down on them and slamming them for being something they can't help being. Like tall. Or short. Or female. Or black.

Not a very "progressive" attitude, IMO.


PS...just wanted to add that I have friends from all over the political spectrum, and I have never been told by a Conservative or Republican that I'm "too liberal" for them to bother with. They have never made me feel like I was not worth their time.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

150. Which is a perfectly OK position, provided that you don't choose to have children.

There's no moral obligation to have children, and if you don't think you could do a good job of it then that's absolutely fine.

But if you really think it's that likely that you'd disown and cut off a child, it would be a really shitty thing to do to have one. N.T.

[pipi_k]

169. Totally

agree.

I would rather have ten Republican friends who don't judge my politics than be friends with one Democrat who would knowingly shun his* own child.


*I say "his" because I can't even imagine a mother doing that. As a mom myself...someone who puked her guts out for three months, got heartburn and hemorrhoids, felt the first flutterings of life that got stronger as time went on, bled and sweated and felt like my body would be torn apart in childbirth, held that new life in my arms when it was less than five minutes old, nurtured and fed and took care of that life in sickness....I can't even imagine shunning my own child for any reason.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

170. I think it's less rare than you'd think, because of post-natal depression.

It's by no means common, but I believe that inability to cope or bond with the baby is a recognised symptom of PND.

[pipi_k]

182. Yah...

I had severe PND after my second child.

But that, I think, is a whole lot different from someone saying he would shun his own child on account of politics, which is what the OP said somewhere in this thread...

[Lucinda]

16. I can, and do. Some issues make it tough.

♥

[Cali_Democrat]

17. I have friends who are republicans

I don't really talk politics with them.

We just drink beers.


We have had heated arguments, but I always come out on top!

[busterbrown]

19. Well if you come out on top. Then they might be listening..Unusual.

[Cali_Democrat]

20. Well I'm sure they think they come out on top

So arguing is rather pointless.

BTW, when Obama won reelection I was gloating my ass off and one of my friends was depressed.

Probably the only time I enjoyed seeing him depressed.

[busterbrown]

23. I had to quit drinking.....

But if I were, I would have the same enjoyment at this bar as you do..
Why am I assuming that these are bar friends. Because any place else you probably would ignore them..

Sometimes I miss those days..

[Decaffeinated]

21. Sounds boring...

[busterbrown]

27. Friends with musicians, actors ( I am neither) authors etc.

Who strongly support Obama and you think that’s boring?

Wow!

[Decaffeinated]

34. No.. I think only associating with ideological clones of yourself is dull...

Sure it's an amazing friday night...

I can see it now...

You know who is awesome? People just like us!

Yup..

Mmmhmmm...

Oh yeah...

[busterbrown]

41. And you sit back and just have a wonderful couple of drinks with those..

who feel Obama is a complete fraud, who only cares about the less fortunate minorities, elders and poor because they represent his base..

How can you sit with these guys when they start with their jokes about Obama?

[Decaffeinated]

48. I give em one back about Bush...

It's not that hard...

[treestar]

62. That's not what the OP said

There is still a great variety of people amongst non-Republicans.

It would be safe to say that nobody here could truly be friends with a Tea Partier. More moderate Republicans might be different.

[brush]

95. Is there such a thing left as a moderate republican?

I think they've gone the way of the dinosaurs.

[AgingAmerican]

22. I have lots of friends who are Republicans

nt

[busterbrown]

25. Well, it’s a free country.

I don’t know how you can remain friends with people who don’t give a shit about people who have no health Insurance and are suffering horrible consequences..

[AgingAmerican]

30. LOL

I don't see how you can let politics control your personal life. You obviously believe that all Republicans are tea party members.

[busterbrown]

31. Most of them are..

Most Republicans are racists.. Feel blacks and minorities are ruining our country and democrats are like drug dealers to them...Anyone who doesn’t completely understand the horrors of our healthcare system shows little empathy or compassion..I can’t be friends with them..

[Decaffeinated]

35. You should get out more...

[AgingAmerican]

37. Thats a load of tripe

I see most Republicans as clueless victims of their own ideology. Probably a third of them are hardcore extremists. The extremists call the shots politically.

It's pretty obvious that you don't know many Republicans.

[busterbrown]

71. So you are saying that they are”cluless” of what partly they are responsible for..And a 3rd of these

are hardcore extremists who “call the shots”..And because they are clueless idiots who want millions to die to
lack of healthcare, I should try to make friends with them?

I have no need to friends with these kind of jerks.

[brush]

96. I agree with you.

My time is better spent with people that have a clue and care about those that may be less fortunate.

We can all (maybe have) fall on hard times and need a hand, or healthcare, or unemployment benefits, or even food stamps.

It can happen, and has and is to many who once considered themselves solidly middle class with a decent job.

We all know now that a lot of those decent jobs have been exported by repug corporate owners so that their profitable companies can become even more profitable.

Nah, I prefer not to be friends people that think that's okay.

[AgingAmerican]

107. Yes, they are clueless

And the tea party extremists call the shots. That's right. They don't want "Millions to die". That's just flat out stupid. You really need to broaden your horizons.

[The Straight Story]

26. I can, just the same as I could atheists, muslims, etc

I don't live on a message board where the only people I talk to have to agree with my world view on things on every topic.

Many in my family are rw'ers. My grandfather was a republican mayor of a small town way back in the day and a lot more liberal than some folks I have talked to who call themselves liberal.

Life is a cornucopia of folks (like, oh I dunno...a big tent with lots of smaller ones in it) who can follow a party but not it's ideals on everything (lord knows we see that here on DU on some topics as well).

If I judged everyone by which party they voted for and only wanted to be friends with those who passed my purity test it would be a dull life indeed. Like a bubble.

Don't care who my friends are (I am friends with people who have been in prison multiple times, gun owners, baptists, atheists, etc and so on) or their personal choices in beliefs. Life and relationships are about more than that.

My life does not imitate DU or congress, etc. It has real folks in it that I can converse with and not call me libertarian, accuse me of being something I am not to detract from a discussion, etc - the folks I am friends with I can have real discussions with and know at the end of the day most of them respect my opinion on things (a few don't, but they unfriended me, so no loss for me).

The real world is certainly not like the online one when it comes to friends, politics, etc.

[busterbrown]

29. Disagree.....

Our country is embroiled in a life or death battle with healthcare insurance companies and the republican’s who stand back to back with them..How can you be friends with someone who thinks its o.k. not to be concern with so many who are suffering because of this?

[The Straight Story]

33. Small minded thinking

The same thinking that gets people to divide others into groups that attack each other and never work together to find solutions to problems because we are taught to hate each other.

How can you have a discussion with anyone if your knee jerk reaction is that they are of one group so you won't talk to them and such? How is that going to help (or as Jesus once said, the whole need not a physician)?

You won't change minds, won't open anyone up to seeing other views when you feed into stereotypes - I expect many on the right to not want to be friends with people who don't share their views on politics. Being open minded I am willing to hear what they have to say and discuss such - and not let their views on political matters interfere with the tons of other things between friends.

I can sit and fish with someone, play chess, watch a movie, etc and so on and not care one wit how they feel on another issue - when those issues come up we can talk like adults and not run off like little kids and take our toys.

Not so closed in my mind that I can't hear another view - I can learn things.

Example from here on DU (which I discussed with a friend on a radio program we did tonight) - He is gay and we were discussing gay issues (marriage, equality, bertolli pasta, et al). He owns the station btw. At any rate, I brought up an old thread here on DU about a snicker's ad from the superbowl. An ad I felt was funny (two guys almost kissed each other, then recoiled over the thought of it). I wanted his view on it because I was ripped by some folks here over not thinking it was homophobic, etc.

He had heard about the whole thing, had seen the ad, and could not understand why people thought it was homophobic. Of course two straight guys wouldn't want to kiss, duh. He felt people often see what they want to see in things and made a big deal out of nothing. As did our other friend who is gay some years ago when I asked him about it all. Here though? Vilified by people who were calling themselves liberals because I didn't hop onto their view point and disagreed with their assessment of it. I was called homophobic, a child molester, etc.

If you think for a minute that whittling down your friends to a letter after their name showing which party they usually vote for is going to keep you from certain things you are wrong. There are block headed people in all parties out there who will rip you to shreds over your personal views.

Real friends, no matter their religion/politics/etc, can see you as more than that, as you can them. And they, and you, can respect a difference of opinion (though, as noted, a few RW friends unfriended me during the last election - but only a very few who are just as bigoted and divisive as you are suggesting people be when it comes to politics).

[busterbrown]

40. We are talking about a new breed of Republican which has little resemblance to the Repubs. of 20

years ago. This new breed is consumed with hate and contempt for our president and I feel that racism surrounds their every move..The LGBT comparison is small.. Television has brought a temperance to this issue and people are now feeling less anxious over their presence and the fact that so many straight citizens are now connected to gays
through work or through family connections.. It has changed immensely.. Thank God.

But people are still suffering horrible deaths and financial consequences because of our lousy healthcare system.
The pain is immense and this issues is the one which will always separate me from those who feel this fucked up system should remain in tact..

Ayn Rand Subjectivism is non negotiable way of thinking for me!

[Recursion]

28. I try not to assume that people who see the world differently than I do are evil (or even wrong)

I have plenty of friends all over the political map

[bluestate10]

58. It isn't that they see the world differently, their views come out as vile beliefs and hatreds.

I can see myself being friends with a conservative Democrat because me and that person share some basic core values, even if we are far apart on how to realize those core values. I can't brook dealing with modern republicans. Now, I must admit that there are Eisenhower republicans still trapped in that party due to family history but who are fundamentally decent human beings, if I met one of them, then I could tolerate them.

[gordianot]

32. There is a need for at least two parties what passes for Republicans today is a fringe.

The problem is the current brand of Republicans wants one party and has not quite figured out how to enforce one party rule. They are just not very good at governing.

[busterbrown]

38. What does a moderate republican bring to the table with regards to today’s political reality?.

Really ,how do they enhance our political system in order to make it better?

[AgingAmerican]

45. Ask Obama

He is essentially a moderate Republican

[bluestate10]

59. Wrong, and myopic. President Obama's core values that he displays via actions scream Democrat

through and through. A moderate republican could not have accomplished the social change that President Obama ALREADY has accomplished.

[Niceguy1]

36. politics

Isn't the most important thing in my life. I don't ask and I rarely talk politics with my friends anyways. We hang to relax and have fun, not aolve the worlds problems.

[busterbrown]

66. When lives depend on what bills will pass and what bills won’t pass.

Then politics must trump all..
Our current healthcare system deprives people of their personal freedom and their pursuit of happiness.

What else is there?

[Niceguy1]

67. and arguing over it

When watching a game, or haveing a cold one isn't going to change anything. Even posting here on du has little to no effect at all.

[RedCappedBandit]

39. Generally speaking, I can't be close friends with republicans

their world view runs opposite to mine

I do actually have a few close friends who identify as the "libertarian" type though.
When talk turns to politics, it always gets heated. We just try to avoid it. We are friends for other reasons.

[Jamaal510]

42. So far,

I don't know any Republicans at all. I met one guy named Colton during a backpacking trip who I overheard identify as a libertarian, though, but he seemed pretty cool outside of his politics. He didn't mind sharing his food with everyone, and he was very outgoing.
Overall, I'd be fine with having a Republican/conservative friend or girlfriend if we agree to never discuss politics. Obviously, they won't convince me that their ideas are best, and it would be likewise for me trying to convincing them.

[busterbrown]

43. I’m not saying I’m right..but how can you be a friend with one who denies climate change?

Or one who feels that our healthcare system is the best in the world? Or better yet feels that Obama caters to the poor, elderly and those people of color only because they are is base...These kind of ideas which most republicans support have brought this country to its knees..

[King_Klonopin]

44. And I have friends who are Yankees fans.

Not surprisingly, a very similar circumstance (to a Red Sox fan, anyway)

Political ideology for a democrat is expressed in terms of principles and policies. Political
ideology for an Obama-hating republican is expressed in terms of vitriolic, self-righteous,
hypocritical, personal attacks. One camp is rational while the other is irrational, therefore,
challenging their dogma or debating them by using overwhelming, historical FACTS is a
waste of time. Remember, conservatives (like GW Bush) believe they are "favored by God."
Divine Right. Infallibility. Moral Authority. Facts are liberal, and tend to complicate things.

Their belief system is not supported by fact or evidence. Assertions and declarations they
make are baseless, ridiculous, often hyperbolic. (Yup, the ACA is just like Nazis and death
marches!) Listening to these entrenched, false beliefs, such as tax cuts for the rich stimulates
the economy, global warming is a ruse, or conservatives are fiscally responsible people who
balance budgets -- all delusions BTW -- makes any objective person cringe.

I ignore any political comments they make, as they are usually intended to bait a person or
to engage in talking points or to proselytize the non-believer. My supervisor makes some
comment (sales pitch) every day about all the problems that are caused by the liberals and
Obama. I just smirk at him, but never cosign his bullshit world-view. I think they try hard to
convince themselves that these distortions are reality, as much as they try to convince others.

I don't intentionally alienate them, but it's not easy to be in their company.

[LittleBlue]

46. I really don't give a f***

My friends know not to discuss politics or religion with me. I just don't engage in those conversations.

Nothing is more boring or pointless than a debate among friends about politics or religion. You won't have a Republican friend? Good for you! Have a cookie.

[busterbrown]

74. So you can not discuss the thousands of kids and tens of thousands of people who go to bed hungry

each night? Or discuss the millions who end up destitute and terminally ill because of no healthcare. How could one avoid such conversations if not brain dead..

[LittleBlue]

129. Braindead talking points from you

Hell, we could have 100 Democrats in the senate and still end up with this healthcare system right now. I seriously doubt we could get 60 to do away with our for-profit healthcare system.

And what makes you think that me talking to them, or even breaking my friendship with them, will make them more likely to agree with me? You act like me cutting off friendships from old friends will convince them to vote Democrat, thus starting a wave that cures poverty and healthcare problems. Completely asinine, and I have to wonder if this is trolling or serious.

[Cha]

47. I'm lucky that way.. All my family and friends are into reality and care

about the Planet as a whole. Not just their itty bitty brainwashed selves.

Except my ex-husband for 43 years now.. my son tells be he's a fox truther. I knew that marriage wouldn't work out!

[gulliver]

49. Most of the ones I know are just stuck on a bad team.

They know they have some real cretins on their side, but they probably figure it is a passing thing. Their whole deal is that they are good to the people who "count." That's what they mean when they say "American people."

Unlike Dems, Republicans don't tend to think of themselves as having common interest in or concern for all. That attitude is not merely immoral or antisocial. It is just stupid and doesn't work. People's fates are interconnected, like it or not. Failing to accept that simple reality is a great Republican failing and why they make such poor leaders.

[FUMCSDLCBDPOS]

50. Agree 100% sure I know Pubs many through work but I only interact with them for work purposes only

and many times I refuse to speak to them because they are just so disgusting that it is easier to just send an email 5 feet then speak to them over the cube wall.

Unlike Will Rogers I have met plenty of men I did not like and they are ALL Republicans.

These sick fucks cheered when the SNAP Program was cut and they all think that the ACA is nothing but socialism that will destroy their health care access.

I am to the point now that I say give the stupid fucks what they want so the rest of us can move forward. I say make 2 simple changes to the ACA a permanent opt out option where anyone 18 years or older can opt out. Once one opts out the insurance companies can then deny you coverage for the rest of your life. One can also never opt back in either. The second change, Hospital's, Doctors, Clinics, etc do not have to treat anyone without health insurance, if you don't have health insurance or CASH, sorry Charlie.

[B Calm]

51. I learned a long time ago friends don't stab you in the back. Impossible

to have republicans for friends!

[Laelth]

52. Try having parents-in-law who are Republicans.

It can be difficult sometimes.

-Laelth

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

54. I'm with you, BB! Anyone who would identify themselves with the things that today's

Republicans stand for is not someone I am drawn to.

Many of my friends I met back when I was hardly paying attention to politics. It just happened that the people who engendered feelings of love and respect turned out not to be Republicans.

And it's not as if all Democrats are exactly the same leaving us with mundane social lives, as some here have haughtily claimed.

Amongst my friends are teachers, carpenters, IT workers, gardeners, business owners, musicians, graphic designers, interior decorators, journalists, big rig drivers, auto mechanics, baseball players, veterinarians, cartoonists, photographers, and sales reps by profession.

They are hunters, gun haters, vegetarians, omnivores, junk food junkies, SUV owners, VW buggers, mini-van drivers, motorbikers, and bicyclists. Some are urban dwellers, others reside in the country. Some are potheads, some drinkers, some teetotallers. Some watch PBS, some loved The Jersey Shore, and others don't have tvs in their homes.

They are hashers (On on!), civil war reenactors, fox hunters, side saddle horseback champions, sailors, jousters, square dancers, and HO scale slot car collectors. Most are straight, but the LGBT community is reasonably well represented.

So, no, our parties are not boring.

Nor are our lives impoverished for lack of close pals who think Wall Street is over-regulated, or poor folk are all lazy, or gays are going to hell, or unions are evil, or Obama is a muslim communist marxist nazi, or that Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin would make swell presidents.

[bluestate10]

63. I agree with you. I don't understand the view put forward by some that dealing with only

Democrats would be boring or close one's world view. People that still call themselves Democrats have some basic core values. Those core values are being part of a larger community and accepting that, being willing to help those that are in need and viewing such an effort as pat of one's moral makeup, understanding that no one gets everything they want and that willingness to compromise doesn't make one weak, and back to the community member aspect Democrats understand that a person can't survive without help from other people.

But, outside of core values, Democrats span a broad spectrum from the far Left to the right. Even among a sample of just ten Democrats, a person is unlikely to find uniform agreement on any issue put forward.

[Douglas Carpenter]

55. I remember when I went to work somewhere many years ago - the person who ostensibly had the most in

common with me in terms of politics, travel, culinary taste, world view and many other ways - constantly gave me a hard time and was most unwelcoming. Conversely, the person who most bent over backward to help was someone who had opposite politics and was a macho, womanizing, Marlboro smoking jock. - There is more to life just politics.

[bluestate10]

56. Neither can I. Anyone that still identifies with that party is a bad person, IMO.

I can't see myself befriending a person who can tolerate hatred.

[Shankapotomus]

60. I think it all depends

on your personal experience. Of course, one is expected to give people the benefit of the doubt regardless of politics but I don't judge others who decide to avoid conservatives if they've had consistently unproductive or even damaging relations with them in the past.

I am still able to see the genuine desire in some conservatives to do good, particularly when they reach out to help someone in a true example of the Christ they are supposed to follow. But I'm not going to pretend I'm compatible as a friend with someone when I'm not. It's a diservice to them and it's a diservice to myself.

So I don't buy the implication of some that it's a moral crime to never befriend a conservative. It doesn't imply hate. It merely implies incompatibility.

[treestar]

61. Depends on the Republican

If they obnoxiously bring up politics and start venting their Republican speak, probably I would not like them. But then there are liberals that are unlike-able, too. It's all in the way it's said and how it's emphasized or not.

[bluestate10]

64. Eisenhower type republicans have been mostly chased out of that party. The few that are

left stay with the party due family heritage, those people must be suffering now.

I don't buy in to the view of some prominent people like Melissa Harris-Perry that the country needs a strong republican party. The modern republican party is a steaming mess and the sooner it perishes, the better for the country. The role that a working republican party accomplishes in a multi-party system would be filled by a split up of the Democratic party, that change would greatly benefit the country.

[busterbrown]

68. Liberals can be obnoxious and vain, not humble etc, However if their votes remain on our side of the

tracks I will tolerate them and wine and dine with them.. Their votes for fixing our healthcare system trumps any other conversations which we might have.. In essence he;s one of us..And I will accept him as a marginal friend simply because of that.

[Skidmore]

69. The first thing that came to mind when I read your post

was to wonder what other group you would shun because the did not believe exactly as you. Unless we are able to build bridges at a personal level these rifts will not heal.

[busterbrown]

75. sorry buddy....When some “don’t" believe" that we should be looking after everybody’s innate

Last edited Sat Sep 28, 2013, 01:45 PM - Edit history (1)

right to personal healthcare. Then I can not be friends with such people,,,ever!
They are bent on destroying personal freedom... Which all starts with the right to be cared for when ill..

[Skidmore]

78. Then you lose opportunities to

provide that person with information beyond what they may be accessing. It reinforces the power of the RW echo chamber instead of weakening its influence.

[treestar]

99. That is a good point too

It's as if they don't want people to change their minds. People are most likely to change their minds due to personal interaction. The pundits on TV aren't going to.

[busterbrown]

110. When people push their agenda on simply on hate. There is no such thing as reason..

[Skidmore]

132. I've met a few in life that responded to patient

and low keyed commiseration of the ordinary neighborly conversation time. Lowering the dukes tends to help a bit because you have an agenda too. It takes two to tango. Pardon the mixed metaphors.

[pipi_k]

148. Great strategy!

Instead of befriending such people and trying to lead by example or gentle and non-confrontational discussion...

just cut them out of our lives.

That'll teach them!

And it will also ensure that they keep right on believing what they believe.

Hate the people who don't think like we do.

Because it's so...

Progressive.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

72. Trouble when you marry into a family of them. Overall, I find most republicans

totally uninformed and boring because they don't have a clue about the world or do they seem to care

[Inkfreak]

73. It must suck going around wondering who's in what political party.

I prefer to just let friendships come about in a natural way. Which means to me, the sum of a person past their political beliefs.

That being said, if a buddy spouts some obnoxious repub shit, it goes annoy the hell outta me. But that same buddy may have just helped me repaint my shed. Ya take the good with the "bad".

[busterbrown]

76. Not me.. If a guy makes a low keyed racial joke about Obama and then tags on a few “they should pull

themselves up by their own bootstrap crap" then they can go help someone else.

[GreenEyedLefty]

77. I can't imagine only being friends with people who think exactly like I do.

I have many friends who happen to vote Republican. A person's political views are only a small part of who they are.

Even though I *feel* strongly about my political beliefs, my delivery is gentle and thoughtful. I have changed minds on lots of things by merely appealing to reason.

[busterbrown]

82. Political views (votes) for not helping ones who are suffering due to lack of health coverage are

people I don’t want in my life. If one is not empathetic to those who are under duress, then i can not have them
around me..Imagine watching a political party jump with joy after severely cutting the SNAP Program..They are irresponsible ill people.

[busterbrown]

114. If you have been able to do so.You should post some of your experiences.

That might have been true for me also many years ago. But right now Republicans have their heads in the sand.

[BKH70041]

80. Life's too short for that

I have friends all over the political spectrum.

And the way you're describing them here is a bunch of baloney. But don't feel alone because from what I've read over the past week or so you're smack-dab in the middle of a bunch of other members who have bought into the false stereotypes. And there's nothing that can be said to convince them otherwise; they're comfortable in their own little imaginary world.

Sleep, my pretties. Sleep.

[MoonRiver]

81. I can only have very superficial relationships with them, if we don't talk politics.

In some contexts this is possible. I definitely cannot have a close friend who is a conservative Repub.

[RandiFan1290]

84. I agree 100%

These policies aren't just dinner time conversation. They actually affect my life. Publicons think my friends and family should be homeless or dead. That isn't something you just overlook and change the subject.

I realize these policies don't affect some at DU. They can treat it like a drama show and turn it off when they want to relax. They post of their trips all over the world or their fancy cars and big house. It is easy to forget all this ugly stuff when it doesn't really affect you.

[Seeking Serenity]

85. Would you suggest I get divorced?

Just askin'.

[busterbrown]

112. Talk to James Carvel.

[Seeking Serenity]

154. Carville and Matalin seem to make it work

Maybe their's is a marriage of convenience, for the money-making novelty of it (although if that were the case, wouldn't they have broken up by now, since the novelty has certainly worn off).

Or maybe, just maybe, they really do love each other, despite their political differences. Wow, what a flash! People who disagree politically can actually love one another! That's how it is with my husband and me.

He is my best friend. I can't imagine my life without him (or the wonderful children we've created together). Yes, he voted for Bush while I voted for Gore and Kerry, and for McCain and Romney while I voted for Obama. So what? The things we do together, and laughs we enjoy together, the good times we enjoy together so far outweigh political or policy differences. He's taught me some things I'd not considered, and I him. What a wonderful treat!

I agree with the posters above and below. I can't bring myself to hate people I might disagree with. I disagree with plenty of folks here on DU on a variety of matters, but I don't hate any of them. Hate has never fed a hungry child, or provided health care to anyone. All it does is make the hater feel better about himself, as if, by virtue of his hate, he is morally superior to those he deems beneath him. But it hasn't changed one blessed thing. All it does is embitter the hater. The object of the hate is untouched.

And this may seem to be a stretch or a bit of hyperbole, but remember what that kind of hate and dehumanization did between Hutus and Tutsis of Rwanda.

As the Beatles once sang, All You Need Is Love. Love, remember? Not hate.

[busterbrown]

202. All about the money..

[Seeking Serenity]

205. So, in your opinion, they cannot

actually love and respect each other despite their political and policy differences? That partisan political and policy issues must trump all other human emotions and considerations? Well, OK.

That's a mindset I cannot seem to wrap my mind around, much less accept. And I'm glad I don't have to as a condition of membership in the Democratic Party or of posting privileges here on DU.

But, peace be to you.

[BlueToTheBone]

86. I don't have any republican friends.

I have a couple of republican acquaintances. But I save "friend" for those that are.

[Romulox]

87. I tend to look down on people who are too into politics of any stripe. nt

[busterbrown]

117. In my opinion one can never be too into politics when they are striving to save people’s lives

and are overly concerned about people not going to bed hungry... No matter what these activists say or do they can never be considered excessive.. Should these people who are “too into politics...” find other recreational outlets?

[pipi_k]

147. Just curious...

Besides hating Republicans, what else are you doing in the fight to save peoples' lives?

Volunteering in soup kitchens?

Marching on Washington DC to end the wars?

Taking the poor/elderly to doctor's appointments?

Inquiring minds want to know

[LanternWaste]

210. I hear the precise same thing about religion... for the precise same reasons.

I hear the precise same thing about religion... for the precise same reasons.

However, I imagine the dogmatic will always find a way to rationalize a distinction without a difference.

[Redford]

89. Because of where I live in Texas

The vast majority of my friends are conservatives. I can count my confirmed "D"'s on one hand. We just stay away from politics. That's why I like democratic underground.

[etherealtruth]

92. I have plenty of friends that are republicans

Admittedly, I do not have teabagging friends, nor do I have religiously insane (read right wing religious zealots that justify cutting food stamps to the poor in the name of god).

Life is too short and you can miss out on some pretty decent people, that may hold some misguided (or simply different) opinions on the economy etc.

I do not have friends that are racists, bigots, sexists ... or any of the other 'charming' prejudices that many on the right attach themselves too.

[busterbrown]

118. I bet every one of your Republican friends agree with Congress’s decision to cut billions out

of the SNAP program. And believe the AHA is a “train wreck” Not for me those types..

[etherealtruth]

137. Actually, the one republican friend I discussed this with ...

... believes cutting snap doesn't make economic sense. His belief is that SNAP transactions help keep the economy moving.

Didn't discuss it with any other republicans.

[busterbrown]

138. Listen I love hearing these stories.

I would love to be wrong about my feelings that most republicans are molded around right wing hate media.

[etherealtruth]

139. Yes most are

This is a thread about republican friends.

I have friends that are republican ... The friends I have (of every political stripe) are not how you typify them. I know many, many republicans that are the way you describe ... I simply am not friends with them.

The republican friends I do have seem to have one consistent failing ... greed ... they will vote to preserve what THEY have.

You can choose to not have a friend that is a republican ... doesn't impact me whatsoever.

Again I choose to not align myself (befriend) with racists, sexists, homophobes ... sadly, I have encountered these folk that align themselves with Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians ... I am also not very fond of idiots and the willfully ignorant (again encountered in all groups that are identified as people)

[LaydeeBug]

93. I feel differently. First off, you can't pick your relatives, and some of the people

I grew up with are as close as it gets.

We have to engage them to change them

[busterbrown]

120. Very difficult to change opinions based on the lies of hate talk radio and Fox..

My girl friends brother and wife..who are basically good people, have Fox on 24/7. Will never really be close to them.

[LaydeeBug]

157. Oh it is very difficult to be sure, and sometimes frustrating, but never say never

Facts change things. The TRUTH matters...and one day they might get hip to that.

[KitSileya]

94. In my experience, people of opposite views on things, fade from my social life...

Not necessarily political views, but I have found that with people whose view on punctuality differs radically from mine, I simply end up not suggesting things we can do together. For me, the stress of having to wait 10, 20, 30 minutes because they don't care about being punctual is so great that i cannot enjoy what we had planned on doing. Say we are doing something time sensitive, like going to a movie - for me, having to wait and maybe disturb the people in the theater that were there on time, causes such a stress reaction, I am wrecked for days afterwards. Therefore, I simply do not become friends with certain people. We may have mutual friends, many mutual friends, in fact, but I do not make any friendship overtures towards them at all.

I imagine many feel the same way about Republicans. I have republican friends, but those are Eisenhower republicans, who are willing to listen in discussions, and who have demonstrated their willingness to change their minds when confronted with facts. In other words, they're the kind of republicans excoriated as RINOs in the current party. If they had been the type to close their ears, or who reverted back to the Beck/Hannity/Limbaugh talking points when my back was turned, I would have had a problem with being as close friends with them as I am.

[Populist_Prole]

115. That's what's happening to me

I have a couple of friends I've known for near 25 years. When I first met them they were to the left of me ( They were center-left union democrats and I was more of less an Eisenhower republican ) but we had common opinions on a wide range of issues and shared hobby interests. The past half dozen years ( around the time both retired ) they each began moving rightward and now they are both hard line republicans and I ditched the party years ago as it moved rightward.

They're both ingnoramuses in that they are not well read or well versed on many subjects they have very strong opinions about. It's getting harder and harder to spend time around them. One on one, I can usually skate around politics by "fogging" just to prevent an argument, and one of them is less apt to bring up politics. If both of them are around me they both start babbling right wing nonsense and it's insufferable to be around them. You practically need a 3-ring circus to distract them enough to prevent them from bringing up politics.

[busterbrown]

121. I agree... Focusing on the spread of Communism and limiting discretionary spending is not half as

bad as what the current brand is doing..

[OnionPatch]

98. It depends on how rabid they are. And whether they're mean people or just clueless.

I don't think it's such a black and white thing. A lot of the people I know who vote Republican are just doing so because their husbands or fathers or pastors told them to. They are pretty non-curious about politics and how things work in the world. They are most concerned with their day to day lives. I don't rock the boat too much by bringing up controversial political issues with them, and they are for the most part uninterested anyway. I tend to be much closer friends with people who are a bit more curious and interested in the world, but I still have some nice friendships with people that aren't. That said, I have not been able to maintain relationships with rabid, racist or just downright mean right-wingers. And to them I say good-riddance anyway.

[madrchsod]

101. not close friends

i grew up with people who are republicans but i never bring up politics and they do the same.

[Agnosticsherbet]

102. My life is not limited to politics. I have friends who are Republicans and Conservatives....

The things I have in common with them (Writing, hiking, reading, intellectual) are more important than our differences in political policy.

None of my friends are of the "stereotypical brainwashed Fox sheeple."

I consider such friendships important because the stark polarization encourage by our political culture where the other side is categorized as evil incarnate is, in my opinion, dangerous.

As a nation, our government was designed to work through compromise. It is dangerously close to a failed state now because back when the Newtster was Speaker the philosophy of Republican Party and Conservativism shifted to one where no compromise was possible.

[LWolf]

104. Not only do I have friends who are Republicans,

I have friends who aren't human.

Some of my best friends aren't human.

I have friends who are Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, and Independents. Christians, Jews, Muslims, athiests, pagans of various sorts, agnostics...even skeptics. All races, many cultures, many creeds.

Friendship is a positive human characteristic. There are so many destructive human characteristics, all based in hate, fear, and greed. I don't want to feed the worst that people are capable of, so I do my best not to indulge in hate, fear, and greed.

It seems like so many LIKE to hate. They CRAVE hate. They are addicted to hate. When one source of hate becomes socially or politically incorrect, they find other ways to hate.

Politically, hate is celebrated. It's celebrated by the party faithful. It's celebrated at Free Republic. It's celebrated at DU.

I often hear political opponents referred to as "sociopaths," "psychopaths," etc..

I have to say that I think attachment to hate is a kind of mental illness.

I think hating others is one way weak, insecure people put themselves "up:" by putting other's down. It's an immature emotional response that evolved people work through in adolescence and leave behind when they become adults.

Or they should.

Seeing people as fellow flawed and beautiful human beings, having empathy for humanity, especially for their lacks, is necessary for personal evolution, and for the positive evolution of the species.

Friends? I connect with my friends through our commonalities, not our differences. I try to be sensitive to when it's a good idea to air differences, and when it's better to let them lie. I'm old enough to have been raised on this code: leave politics and religion out of social conversations. When it IS time to respond to someone who has political, religious, or philosophic differences, I've found that responding gently, respectfully, and leaving them with food for thought and no reason to escalate the topic is usually pretty effective.

Especially when we walk our talk for the world to see.

[NCTraveler]

111. Wonderful post.

I will say that I think an attachment to hate can be rooted in a mental illness, but it is more often than not a character flaw and always extremely harmful to ones self.

[busterbrown]

123. Well I’ll admit this to you..

I hate people who couldn’t care less if someone is dying because of lack of health care. And especially get angry at those who cut money from programs which are intended to feed people (especially children) in order to prevent them for going to bed hungry..

[LWolf]

141. You're hate doesn't hurt them,

and it doesn't help a single person get health care or a meal. It doesn't make the uncaring begin to care, not even a little. It doesn't diminish the greed of the greedy.

It only hurts you. Literally and figuratively.

All of that energy spent hating people could be poured into working for change instead.

[busterbrown]

174. Stop being Naive.

I don’t hate anyone. I hate the idea that these people couldn’t care less about the millions who are without heathcare and end up gravely ill or even dead because they were not able to receive help from our medical healthcare system.
I also hate the concept of not caring about kids who go to bed angry every night.

I misrepresented myself at the beginning of my last post and wrong to use the words “Hate”

But I find it interesting how you jumped on me but not so much on the Republicans who are destroying so many lives.

You have no idea what I do for change.. So please don’t offer me suggestions.

[LWolf]

179. Please understand

that I am not "jumping" on you. You asked a question in your OP. I answered that question, and I explained my answer. Maybe you didn't mean "hate;" people trot that word out all the time to mean all kinds of things that don't equate to hate.

Regardless, though, of how you choose to frame it, people are people. None of us are saints, and all of us have potential of some kind. My life would be poorer if I didn't connect to people on a deeper level than politics. What's interesting is that, if you leave the politics out of the conversation and just talk about people who need jobs, people who need shelter, people who need food or medical care, it doesn't matter what the party affiliation is. People will want to help. Getting them past political propaganda to actual solutions is not going to happen if I reject them out of hand.

I remember that, in 2008, my red region voted in large numbers for Barack Obama. Those were Republicans who realized the damage GWB had done, and turned to a Democrat for solutions. THAT didn't happen because Democrats rejected, ridiculed, or blamed them.

One particular Republican friend re-registered as a Democrat just this year. We've been friends for eight years. FIRST she learned to trust my judgement and listen to my perspective...because I didn't reject her. Her evolution came slowly but surely. It wouldn't have happened if a lefty like I hadn't reached out to her in friendship.

When we truly care about people, we care about all of them. We don't divide them up into categories to embrace or reject. We recognize that we're all traveling through our own journey of life, and that our perspectives are based on early conditioning and experiences, not on whether or not we are "good guys" or "bad guys." It takes patience and care to provide new experiences and perspectives for others, and to accept them ourselves.

Your OP wasn't about the damage done by Republicans; it was about "not being friends" with them. We can talk all day about the damage done by Republicans, but if we're going to do that, I'm going to add the damage done by Democrats into the conversation, because we are not blameless.

So what do you want to talk about? Destructive political policies, or the parties of those who perpetrate them? Actual solutions? Or do you just want to attack Republicans with no particular goal other than to cast stones?

[pipi_k]

145. Not that it needs saying again...

but I agree 100% with what L Wolf said above me.

How does your hatred change anything?

Those you hate are likely tucked away happy and snug in their beds at night while you lie awake stewing and fuming at them.

Did a hungry child get a meal from your hate?

Did someone without healthcare get a crucial operation because of your hate?

Hey, hate all you want. Whatever floats your boat. But your hatred isn't doing a damned bit of good for anyone.

Not even you.

[busterbrown]

175. I said I was wrong for using the word hate...

and I never mentioned that word in the original post.

However I know one thing as well. That your inclination to focus on my poorly worded reply title seems much more important to you than all the destruction and havoc Republicans are responsible for..

[pipi_k]

181. Not in the OP, but...

123. Well I’ll admit this to you..

I hate people who couldn’t care less if someone is dying because of lack of health care. And especially get angry at those who cut money from programs which are intended to feed people (especially children) in order to prevent them for going to bed hungry..

174. Stop being Naive.

I don’t hate anyone.

Both of these replies are to LWolf. So which one is true?

That you "hate people who..."

Or that you "don't hate anyone"

?

And yes, I'm going to point out the inconsistency, and yes, I'm going to point out that hatred of any kind is NOT going to solve any of the world's problems.

I'm merely trying to get an idea of where you're coming from here.

Because I honestly don't understand.

You say you couldn't be friends with a Republican because they lack empathy and caring for others, yet proudly exclaim that you would go so far as to shun your own child for being a Republican.

Does "saving the lives of others" include the lives of....gasp!...those who voted for Republicans? Does empathy and caring extend that far? To the very people who may be voting against their own best interests?

I just don't understand the inconsistency of saying "I would love my child but I wouldn't give him the time of day" while putting on what I think is a big show of "caring" about the lives of strangers. Many of whom might actually be Republicans.

Or maybe the "caring" only applies to Democrats?

[liberal_at_heart]

128. great post LWolf.

[Inkfreak]

156. I believe your friends are richer for knowing you. Great post. (nt)

[Niceguy1]

171. best post of the

Thread. Hate is very corrosive to the soul.

[busterbrown]

176. Once again as admitted earlier.

It was a poorly worded Reply Title.. But was not in the original Message.. Again, I am amazed at those who were so interested in the mischaracterization of myself while not mentioning one thing about what pain republicans are inflicting on this country..

[yawnmaster]

214. Thank you for the fresh air. Eom

[cynatnite]

106. The love my repub mom and I have for each other trumps it all...

I don't have to sever any relationships because we don't agree. Those things do not define our relationships.

[etherealtruth]

140. As it should!

[pnwmom]

108. Why? Friends and relatives who are Republican are an educational opportunity, if you are patient,

diplomatic, and ready to supply useful information at the right time.

Helping to change minds is a slow process, but I have friends who are ex-Republicans and ex-Libertarians.

[busterbrown]

124. Please post one of your success stories one day.

Might give hope to some who think like me..

[pnwmom]

136. One of my ex-Republican friends is a fervent supporter of Obamacare now.

She was raised Republican and in high school we used to argue about Vietnam. Now she considers herself to be liberal on social issues but conservative on economic -- which puts her much closer to Clinton or Obama than to the vast majority of Republican office holders these days. (Ironically, this "conservative" is a big fan of Paul Krugman.)

She'd rather have single payer but she watched the whole process and agrees with me that the ACA was the best we could get, given the need for 60 votes in the Senate.

Actually, judging by my Facebook friends, many of the more conservative girls I went to high school with have turned into Democrats along the way.

Closer to home, I convinced my mother to support marriage equality. She was already a liberal on everything else, so I can't take credit on that.

[etherealtruth]

146. I was married to A Republican

He voted for Obama both times. Marriage didn't work ... political conversion did.

[NCTraveler]

109. One of the most compassionate and giving person I know is a conservative.

He does not fall in line with either party but does vote republican. He knows my feelings on that. His vote on election day goes against everything he is about in his daily life. Every decision he makes takes others into consideration, except his vote. Makes no sense to me considering he is an extremely intelligent individual.

So yes, the person I have the most respect for in my life votes republican.

[Egalitarian Thug]

116. No republican friends at all. Plenty of acquaintances as most people out here are conservative

as hell, but no friends. OTOH I have almost no friends that are Democrats either, as that label seems to demand the unquestioning acceptance of really bad ideas that hurt the majority in order to give to the parasitic minority.

When taken together, the biggest identifiers of my friends is that they are very egalitarian and they are mostly women.

[liberal_at_heart]

119. I went to a republican's birth day party yesterday. It is someone my husband became friends with

while at blind school. We don't talk politics often but the few times we have it has been a cordial conversation. We disagree a lot about politics but it is nice to be able to have a civil conversation with people no matter their political beliefs.

[grantcart]

126. Then you will be unlikely to influence any.

[busterbrown]

127. One cannot influence hate..

[liberal_at_heart]

130. Untrue. Why do you think some conservatives have changed their minds on things like

same sex marriage or medical marijuana? It's because they have seen up close and personal that the people they meet don't match up with the stereotypes they've been told exist by their fellow conservatives. It is that personal, one on one experience that changes minds. If you want to change minds try being less confrontational and just be kind and compassionate. Being confrontational only reinforces the stereotypes they have built up in their mind.

[Sanddog42]

134. ++

[Sanddog42]

133. I can.

If nothing else it gives me the opportunity to open their eyes about issues important to me.

And it gives me an opportunity to open my eyes and overcome misconceptions about their viewpoint.

I fear that the more segregated we become the further we'll drift apart.

In fact, I recall in how people criticized pre-Gingrich Congress for fraternizing with the opposition outside of work. How could Democrats and Republicans really stand for their principles in the House during the day and have cocktails together at night, or take in a ballgame on the weekend, or taking family vacations together? The argument was that we needed to become more partisan. I think the unintended consequence is that one side, being more inclined to reasonable compromise, allowed the other side to drag the whole spectrum of political discourse to bizarre extremes.

[Arcanetrance]

142. When first met my girlfriend she identified as a Republican

But as I got to know her she was a Republican cause she was raised in Texas and that's what her parents were she held more liberal views of the world than her parents. But to keep from having fights with her parents she doesn't really talk about her views with them or anything like that. Me on the other hand I'm the dirty liberal that she brings to pollute her family gatherings in their eyes.

[kiva]

143. That's too bad, I think you are missing some good people.

My sister-in-law helped to care for my mother, did her hair every week and and had remarkable patience; she's taken in three grandchildren and made sure they had educations, and regularly prepares meals for her widowed brother-in-law. She's a Republican.

A childhood friend of mine was there through my father's illness and made some remarkably thoughtful gestures when he passed. She's a republican.

A co-worker has been very active in a program to provide food for children on weekends when they don't have access to school lunches. He's a Republican.

The vast majority of my friends, co-workers and relatives are Democrats, but rejecting people based on their political beliefs would rob me of some good friendships.

Edit: I just read your responses to others in this thread and want to apologize for my sincerity, I really thought you were interested in hear what people had to say, not just targeting them for rants about befriending people you assume are all Obama-hating, child-starving, racist, sexist, homophobic, devils. I added this so that you don't need to go through the effort of writing a reply to me.

[busterbrown]

149. No, I stated what I believed in my Discussion thread.

I never said what you ought to do. I am only human by responding to something I believe in passionately.

The protection of the unfortunate,poor and sick..The understanding that Wealth should not determine wether or not someone lives or goes hungry.

Your examples of “patience and kindness” by fellow citizens does little for the over 50 million who are at poverty level in this country. This problem must be addressed by govt. and even though those close to you are kind and generous for the most part they don’t see govt. as an answer when in fact it’s the only answer..

[spanone]

144. i have friends who are reTHUGS, but i NEVER discuss politics with them

they know my lean and we never broach the subject, otherwise they would not be my friends

[Warpy]

151. I keep very civil relationships going with a few of them

especially when we have something to have a meeting of the minds over that has nothing to do with politics. I've been able to cope with Republican coworkers.

What I can't cope with are ranters. People who launch into tirades get the index finger twirled next to the temple treatment.

[MrsKirkley]

152. My father was married to a republican and is now dating another republican.

He is very much a Democrat and is always complaining about "scumbag" republicans. He frequently gets into arguments with them. Yet if he's romantically involved with one he says it's not that important to him and he can overlook it. I just can't understand it.

[busterbrown]

153. When your in love and the passion is there. It works until it doesn’t..

[LanternWaste]

212. Like really, really poor grammar?

"It works until it doesn’t.."

Like really, really poor grammar?

[geek tragedy]

155. I used to be able to, but now Republicans

want poor children to starve and hate poor people so much they'd rather destroy our economy than help provide medical care to the working poor and middle class .

And the various forms of bigotry for which they stand.

Acquaintances, yes, but their values are so vile I just can't value a relationship with them.

[Sissyk]

158. How does that work?

An acquaintance introduces you to somone new.

You: "Yeah, so who did you vote for for President?"

New Acquaintance: "None of your fucking business."

Acquaintance walks away and you think you dissed them because they are Republican. lol!!

No, seriously. We have several very close families of f friends. Some I know are Dems, some Rep, and some I don't even know at all.

[busterbrown]

159. Most of the time when people get together for a dinner, lunch or a barbecue the subject of politics

raises its head..

By the way I would never in a million years confront a stranger on that level.. Only if they start the charge..

[Sissyk]

166. Thanks for the reply!

I've probably been to thousands and thousands of dinners, lunches, bbq's over my fifty years on this planet and can count on one hand when politics came up in these settings. Maybe it's just the area I live in, but I'm glad whatever the reason.

Mostly, it's entertainment, raising our kids, eduction, food, food, good food, etc. Normal stuff.

Sorry you've encountered this is most settings.

[billh58]

160. I know some people

who are Tea Baggers, but all of my friends are Liberal Democrats. Then again, I'm lucky enough to live in Hawaii.

[Blaukraut]

161. Lifelong friends who turn out to be Repubs, yes. Make new friends who are Repubs, no. n/t

[kiranon]

162. Have relatives and friends who are Republicans. We do not

talk politics. Most watch Fox News and that is a big part of the problem. Most believe their success is self made despite having been born/married into fortunate circumstances. Until their health fails and their fortunes wain, they mostly remain Republicans.

[busterbrown]

163. And yet they don’t seem to worry a bit about circumstances which could also destroy their lives.....

I think they are wired that way...

[graywarrior]

165. I used to feel that way

But I met a bunch of reps during the time my sister's son went missing and they turned out to be incredible people.

[busterbrown]

167. They usually are in that kind of a situation.. In fact most people are.

A face always brings help from most people regardless of personal beliefs..

But that has little to do with what I’m threading about..

[graywarrior]

168. Guess I'm just too tired to hate people

Altho I'd love to punch Cruz in the face.

[truebluegreen]

173. Nope. I feel the same. nt

[OmahaBlueDog]

177. I feel pretty much 180 degrees differently

I have friends and family all over the political spectrum. Politics is not a factor upon which I base friendships. I know plenty of lefties who are tools and morons, and plenty of wingers who are really good folks if you can get past the politics.

[busterbrown]

178. How can you get past the politics of hate and destruction.

Or simply how can you have a friendly relationship with someone who believes that not all who live in this country deserve to see a physician when ill or tolerate the idea of tens of thousands dying each year because they can not afford Insurance...And to take food out of the mouths of the poor..Reduction of Snap funds driven by Republicans is inexcusable.. So I certainly will come back and state..”I can not be friends with those who do not care about the less fortunate..It is inexcusable..

And yes, Blue dog democrats who assist Republican goals of destroying measures to protect the poor and unfortunate
are just as offensive..

[OmahaBlueDog]

206. The same way that you can be posting on a political site with an NFL logo as your avatar

It's a big world with a lot of areas of interest outside of national politics.

I would no more limit my interactions with people who don't share my politics than I would limit interactions with people who don't share my faith. There are people with kids who attend the same schools as my kids; there are people in my neighborhood who have to drive over the same bone-jarring potholes that I do. We can agree we want our school funded, or our potholes filled, even if we don't see eye-to-eye on marriage equality or the efficacy of the ACA. My cousins and I can sit down for a few beers and discuss our parents and our kids, and tell stories about our grandparents despite the fact that we represent divergent views on the poltical spectrum. One Republican friend is a volunteer firefighter; you tell me -- is he evil because of his right-wing beliefs, in spite of the fact that he'll enter burning buildings and rescue people of all ages, income levels, and politics?

The self-righteous are annoying, regardless of political affiliation.

[Harmony Blue]

180. I haven't reached that point

but give it another five years or so and I may be inclined to agree.

[lonestarnot]

183. :)

[melm00se]

184. if I know someone has different beliefs than me

I just don't discuss those topics with them

Life is too short to allow something as petty as politics to poison an otherwise good relationship

[busterbrown]

188. Petty?

49 Million people who can not afford to go see a Doctor if ill? Tens of thousands die because of this every year,
Millions go hungry to bed each night and republican’s cut a billion SNAP?

Not giving a shit about those unfortunate and ill is horrible..
All of this brought to you by Republican politics and few scum eating blue dog democrats.

Ignorance is no excuse.

[Sanddog42]

189. To be fair

Some of the people who oppose the ACA and SNAP do so because they think there are better solutions and that these programs cause more suffering in the long run than they prevent or relieve.

I don't agree with that point of view, but I don't think everyone who does think that way doesn't give a shit about the unfortunate and ill. They can disagree with me without coming from a place of sociopathy.

[busterbrown]

190. Wow..

Better solutions than the ACA would only be only A single payer system. The republicans have not offered anything substantial on a plan which would better our healthcare system...Now in the hands of For Profit Corporations...
Please let me know if you know something better than the ACA considering how these lunatics in the House want no change at all.

More disturbing though is the statement “cause more suffering..........than they prevent or relieve”
In my opinion that is code for “too many people on welfare and other safety net programs take advantage of the system...that people drink soda and watch T.V. all day on my tax dime...

Nope I think that everyone who feels that way has a political view that for me is so far to the right that they are inches from being out right racists.. Yep, Ron Paul LIbertarians..

[Sanddog42]

195. Why would I be speaking in code about the beliefs of other people?

There's no need to infer that.

You could simply say that you believe there are no people of goodwill who are Republican.

Of course, if that were the case there would be no need for Republicans themselves to speak in code. The fact that there is coded language proves that some of them must be well-intentioned dupes.

[busterbrown]

198. I think everything that republican’s say is in code.

They’re entire approach to our President has been in code..." That he is really not one of us” That he is un- american.
They never say it directly but rather send the message... Code!!! They are concerned about not sounding like extremists.. But in fact 90% of the Republican Party has been taken over by extremists.

[Sanddog42]

201. I'm not a Republican

So you can take what I say at face value.

[melm00se]

203. Does every conversation

you have with your friends involve every one of these topics?

[AlinPA]

186. With me, family transcends politics. I have republican relatives and stil love them. But on

"friends", I have "friends" who are not republicans but "acquaintances" who are republicans. Over the past several years I have gained many Democratic friends and backed away from the republican "associates". I don't need to put up with their hate.

[Iggo]

191. I feel the same.

When I was in my 20s, it was different.

But at 51, I can't be friends with people who belong to the party that hates gays, women, minorities, and the poor.

Fuck those motherfuckers.

[busterbrown]

192. Have you read some of the replies on this thread.

I can not mention to you how many feel I’m wrong and hurtful.. Like thats more important then all the suffering going on in our country due to their fucking insanity..And the Blue Dog Democrats can go fuck themselves as well..

[Iggo]

209. I know right? Bigots are people, too, you lonely person!

Jee-zuss aych kee-ryst.

Gimme a goddam break.

[sagat]

200. "Fuck those motherfuckers."

+1.

I wouldn't shoot a right-winger in the head if he was burning to death.

[dipsydoodle]

193. I've got a good friend in Sparta NC who votes Republican.

We never discuss politics - only banjos. We've got a life.

[busterbrown]

194. Good for you.

I care too much about the hate R’s spew.. I will not jam with them...
I’ll talk to them, but can not be honest with them. So they are out as friends.

[Zorra]

196. The bottom line for me is, friends are people I trust, and I have learned to never, ever,

trust a republican.

Anyone who willingly belongs to a group that deliberately and consistently engages in pure evil like the republican party has something very, very, seriously wrong with them.

[Greybnk48]

197. I'm there too busterbrown.

The disagreement is a moral one for me as well and I have no desire to associate with the sort of person that has what I see as serious character flaws AND an unwillingness to bend an inch. A hardness, meanness and selfishness about their nature.

Edited to add: I have friends that are old fashioned Republicans, paleos, that are very different from the teabaggers I've met. I also frequent a store that is owned and run by a guy who is a devout Catholic and votes Republican because of the abortion issue. I'm an atheist and one of those hated feminists (lol) but this guy is a very, humble man and means no harm. He's never, ever mentioned a word about it to me in 30 years. I'm o.k. with people like that.

[busterbrown]

199. Thanks for that. Sometimes I forget that there are people like that out there..

I will smile and talk to them, but can never be a real friend.

[telclaven]

204. I'm sure there's many a Republican sighing with relief

You sound like such a joy to have as a friend.

Seriously, we get it. You spend every second of every day challenging those around you to better serve the 49 million without health care or food in their bellies. Nothing is ever as important as caring for those less fortunate. Why, it's almost a crime to be posting opinions in an online message board when that time could be better served carrying a placard and marching in protest against efforts to starve the homeless! Any time spent not feeding the hungry is literal theft of food from the mouths of children!

I'm wondering how many Dems are actually wanting to hang out with you if this is your life.

[Orsino]

207. Recall that they are also our fellow victims. n/t

[LostOne4Ever]

208. Family and friends

are more important than politics. If you refuse to associate with people who hold a different opinion than you, then you are going to live a very lonely life.

And as loathsome as conservative ideologies are, they are still people who think they are doing the right thing. If you really care about them, and the issues you claim to support, then you will try to be there to help correct them and steer them to the right path.

[LanternWaste]

211. I do predicate my friendships on the integrity and the character of the individual.

I don't predicate my friendships on the imaginary, whether that be religion, philosophy, economics, or politics.

I do however, predicate my friendships on the integrity and the character of the individual-- we find compassion far more often in the individual rather than the demographic.

[el_bryanto]

213. I have many Republican Friends

It's just the way of it; in some cases we talk about politics and in others we avoid the subject.

Bryant