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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsOld joke about a hated man who finally dies...
this is often told with changes to the background of the deceased. The one I heard when I was a kid was in Yiddish, but this version will suffice:
Meanest man in County Cork dies and the kind-hearted pastor of his church, preparing to say the funeral mass, can't think of single nice thing to say about the bastard in his eulogy.
So he asks around town, looking for anyone who has one good word for the deceased to say at the mass, and finds no takers. He gets the idea to call over to the church in the village where the old man was born, figuring that there might be someone there who remembers him from when he was a boy and who might then have at least one fond memory to impart. The priest over there is a very old man himself, and he grew up with the dear departed and offers to come to the funeral and say the nicest thing he can think of.
Day of the funeral comes, the old priest arrives, it's time for him to give the eulogy. He totters up to the pulpit, looks out at the very few people who've bothered to show up, and says the one nice thing there is to say about the dead old man:
"His brother was worse."
aquart
(69,014 posts)mazzarro
(3,450 posts)His brother in the disgusting right-wing nuts - Flush Limpbones - is 'worser' - I rest my case!
RZM
(8,556 posts)One character tells the Jewish version when Tony's mother dies.
Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)Did you see Jon Stewart last night by chance?
Hellova good show.
I knew he wouldn't disappoint on a day like yesterday.
UTUSN
(70,686 posts)Every day this (celeb) would buy a newspaper, look at the front page and throw it away. Finally the (whachamacallit, seller) asked him why he threw away the paper without reading it.
The man said, "I'm looking for an obituary."
The dude said, "But the obituaries are (inside the sections).
The man said, "When the s.o.b. I'm looking for dies, it will be on the front page."
SDjack
(1,448 posts)Jim Lane
(11,175 posts)The salesman shows up at the department store office and asks to see the buyer, Ms. Jones. The receptionist tells him, "I'm sorry, sir, but Ms. Jones died last week." The salesman goes away.
In about half an hour he comes back, though, and asks to see Ms. Jones. The perplexed receptionist tells him again, "I'm sorry, sir, but Ms. Jones died last week." The salesman goes away again.
He's soon back yet again, though, and again asking to see Ms. Jones. The receptionist says, "Sir, you can't see Ms. Jones. She died last week. Didn't you understand me when I said that before?" "Oh, I understood you all right," answers the salesman. "I just love hearing you say it."
xchrom
(108,903 posts)Motown_Johnny
(22,308 posts)Ikonoklast
(23,973 posts)The Irish "funny papers".