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Sat Oct 12, 2013, 12:57 AM

Betty Crocker is a pro-homo, anti-christian socialist homofascist communist librul traitor 2 Murkkka



Can't wait to see how this plays among the "Let us Prey" crowd.

67 replies, 14907 views

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Reply Betty Crocker is a pro-homo, anti-christian socialist homofascist communist librul traitor 2 Murkkka (Original post)
xfundy Oct 2013 OP
Chan790 Oct 2013 #1
NuclearDem Oct 2013 #2
jberryhill Oct 2013 #3
NuclearDem Oct 2013 #5
jberryhill Oct 2013 #6
NuclearDem Oct 2013 #9
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #11
jberryhill Oct 2013 #16
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #22
jberryhill Oct 2013 #26
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #29
jberryhill Oct 2013 #12
NuclearDem Oct 2013 #14
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #17
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #15
NuclearDem Oct 2013 #18
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #25
jberryhill Oct 2013 #28
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #30
jberryhill Oct 2013 #19
NuclearDem Oct 2013 #21
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #27
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #23
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #31
chervilant Oct 2013 #66
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #67
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #7
jberryhill Oct 2013 #10
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #13
joshcryer Oct 2013 #38
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #40
JaneyVee Oct 2013 #50
icymist Oct 2013 #61
Aerows Oct 2013 #57
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #65
xfundy Oct 2013 #32
Roland99 Oct 2013 #33
1000words Oct 2013 #39
eridani Oct 2013 #41
Laelth Oct 2013 #44
AngryOldDem Oct 2013 #45
rbrnmw Oct 2013 #46
joshcryer Oct 2013 #37
Tree-Hugger Oct 2013 #48
AngryOldDem Oct 2013 #60
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #62
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #4
leeroysphitz Oct 2013 #54
steve2470 Oct 2013 #8
A HERETIC I AM Oct 2013 #20
TeamPooka Oct 2013 #24
Fumesucker Oct 2013 #34
pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #35
lonestarnot Oct 2013 #55
joshcryer Oct 2013 #36
Le Taz Hot Oct 2013 #42
jmowreader Oct 2013 #43
Chan790 Oct 2013 #47
JoeyT Oct 2013 #49
Chan790 Oct 2013 #53
JoeyT Oct 2013 #58
enlightenment Oct 2013 #52
jmowreader Oct 2013 #63
enlightenment Oct 2013 #64
nolabear Oct 2013 #51
William769 Oct 2013 #56
Half-Century Man Oct 2013 #59

Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:00 AM

1. Lettuce doesn't pray.

 

It's a heathen vegetable. It comes from California too.

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:03 AM

2. Off with their heads

 

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #2)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:06 AM

3. Leaf this alone, nothing good will turnip here

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #3)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:09 AM

5. I artichoke you for those veggie puns.

 

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #5)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:12 AM

6. You'll have to beet me first

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #6)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:16 AM

9. You'll have to do butter than that.

 

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #9)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:18 AM

11. I think you collard him there

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #11)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:24 AM

16. I squashed that one right away

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #16)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:32 AM

22. Are you sure you're not being too parsleymonious?

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #22)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:41 AM

26. Are you casting asparagus on my judgment?

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #26)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:44 AM

29. Of course I yam not

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #9)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:19 AM

12. Hey, get out of the dairy aisle

 

We ain't done with the produce yet

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #12)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:22 AM

14. Sorry, leeked into the wrong department there.

 

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #14)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:24 AM

17. Sorrel about that

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #12)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:22 AM

15. Somebody mustard taken a wrong turn

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #15)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:26 AM

18. When making veggie puns, we shallot all times stick to the produce aisle.

 

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #18)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:40 AM

25. And tread gingerly

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #25)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:42 AM

28. Lest we get into a rhubarb over it

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #28)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:50 AM

30. I think you already made me strain my sacro-celeriac

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #15)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:26 AM

19. He is an unsavory rapscallion

 

But I am running out of thyme for this chive humor.

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #19)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:29 AM

21. This has been quite the caper.

 

It's been pretty radish.

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #21)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:42 AM

27. We certainly have some punners a mung us

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #19)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:35 AM

23. You're arugula expert at this

Have some fava beans and a nice Chianti...

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #12)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:53 AM

31. Not mushroom left now for veggies

What's next? Fruits? Meats? Textiles? Floor coverings? ...

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #31)

Tue Oct 15, 2013, 07:21 AM

66. Congrats

on the well-deserved DUzys!

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Response to chervilant (Reply #66)

Tue Oct 15, 2013, 09:41 AM

67. Thanks. I relished the opportunity to share a DUzy with a good bunch. nt

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Response to NuclearDem (Reply #5)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:14 AM

7. Peas do, by all beans

Who would carrot all?

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #7)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:17 AM

10. It doesn't 'mater to me, if it's okra with you

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #10)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:20 AM

13. I'm just Dandelion with it

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #7)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:28 AM

38. "Who would carrot all?"

What the hell, that is glorious!

It is better than my own "omelette you finish" pun (which wasn't original but I thought it up myself).

Genius! This whole subthread has made my night! <3. Amazing!

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Response to joshcryer (Reply #38)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:42 AM

40. The trick is to try to romaine true to the theme

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it cos it needs doing.

And I LOVE "omelette you finish"

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #40)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:02 AM

50. This sub thread is 100% WIN.

 

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Response to JaneyVee (Reply #50)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:58 PM

61. I think it's radicchio-less!

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #7)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:29 AM

57. I'd jump in

 

but you really showed us how the cow ate the cabbage with that one

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Response to Aerows (Reply #57)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 07:37 PM

65. That's a whole udder subject

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:54 AM

32. Yes.

I always say "lettuce spray" in an authoritative, smarmy manner in the green aisle, especially when the thunder-sound goes off. I don't care what others think, for the first time in my life.

Get quite a few odd looks for that. Good.

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 03:56 AM

33. I nominate this entire sub-thread for a DUzy!



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Response to Roland99 (Reply #33)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:29 AM

39. Seconded

 

Nicely done.

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #33)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 06:16 AM

41. These threads don't turnip nearly as often as I would like n/t

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #33)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 08:33 AM

44. +1. Impressive run of puns. n/t

-Laelth

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #33)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 08:34 AM

45. Fourth rec for a DUzy....

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Response to AngryOldDem (Reply #45)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 08:45 AM

46. I rec for a Duzy

Loved the sub thread

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:26 AM

37. Holy crap! Epic pun thread above!

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 08:51 AM

48. Best freaking thread

Awesome!

Having a crappy morning and this sub thread totes brightened my day.

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:50 PM

60. So, guys, was it really chard to come up with all these brilliant puns?

Good job, all!

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Response to AngryOldDem (Reply #60)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 02:56 PM

62. You'd be a maized

It was quite a pickle.

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:07 AM

4. Time to stock up on more brownie mix



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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #4)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:19 AM

54. Yep.

 

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:16 AM

8. good for Betty Crocker ! :) nt

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:27 AM

20. Outstanding!

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:37 AM

24. I know what im buying for my next batch of pot brownies

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:13 AM

34. I dated Betty Crocker back in the day

She was moist and easy.

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Response to Fumesucker (Reply #34)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:19 AM

35. Perhaps you've forgotten

But the preheating always seemed to take FOREVER!

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #35)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:22 AM

55. I think I'll just go throw out my boxed cakes now.

 

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:25 AM

36. A corporate message I can get behind.

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 06:25 AM

42. How timely!

This is The Espoused One's birthday weekend and he wants a marble cake. Beautiful families, btw and great pun sub-thread above. You guys are so damned witty.

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 07:01 AM

43. I wonder...

Will there be a special Betty Crocker Brownie Mix label for the legal-marijuana states that tells you how much weed to add? I can just see it...

"Hey Joe, I'm makin' weed brownies from Betty Crocker mix, how much do I put in?"
'Shit, I dunno...twenty lids?'

...half an hour later...

"Hey Joe, are weed brownies SUPPOSED to be green?"

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Response to jmowreader (Reply #43)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 08:46 AM

47. Purely as an informative post...

 

it seems the definitive answer is half an ounce per box of brownie mix, ground in a spice mill or else you'll get gritty bud-chunks in your teeth.

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #47)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:00 AM

49. That seems like an awful lot.

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in not being able to leave brownies alone once I've made them, and lapsing into a coma from marijuana consumption seems like it might suck.

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Response to JoeyT (Reply #49)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:14 AM

53. I got that answer from four different authoritative sites. In addition...

 

one recommended using a full oz. and two more recommended not using actual weed but THC-infused butter.

So, that makes 0.5oz the conservative, sane answer.

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Response to Chan790 (Reply #53)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:45 AM

58. I must just suck at handling drugs.

My tolerance for almost everything that isn't alcohol is painfully low, (Not that I do anything else anymore) so everything seems like a lot, I guess.

I was thinking a half oz was like a year's worth, based on what little I smoked did to me the few times I smoked it.

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Response to jmowreader (Reply #43)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:11 AM

52. Is "lids" still used?

Wow. I thought that one was gone with my misspent but very mellow youth.

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Response to enlightenment (Reply #52)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:08 PM

63. I doubt anyone has bought a whole lid of weed for themselves since Reagan was elected

Thanks to Edwin Meese, people buy it by the gram now...in our Just Say No culture, you'd get many years in prison for holding two weeks' worth of pot. In the modern era, an ounce would be charged, at least in Idaho, as possession with intent to distribute...not "possession with intent to not have to shop for weed until next payday."

Funny war story follows: When I was in the 101st Airborne from 1982 to 1984, our ground surveillance radar company had a barracks search (aka "Health and Welfare Inspection." One guy got caught with some marijuana, so he had to be punished. When you're punished by Article 15 of the UCMJ, you have two sessions in front of the commander: one where the Article 15 charge is formally read to you, the second three days later when punishment is handed down. In this kid goes for his first reading..."Private Beetle Bailey, I am considering punishing you under Article 15 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice for possession of two marijuana cigarettes." At this point the kid just goes off, threw away military discipline and started screaming "what the fuck, are you a stupid motherfucker, what the fuck is this..." The commander was a good guy who didn't get mad and finally got the problem out in the open: "Sir, I had a whole lid. That motherfucker stole my dope!" The motherfucker got five years in Leavenworth.

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Response to jmowreader (Reply #63)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 05:43 PM

64. Oh, that is a classic!

Thanks for sharing that story.

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:08 AM

51. Tuber or not tuber? THAT is the question! (Wish I'd arrived sooner. Some fine punnery up there!)

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:25 AM

56. Heres to you betty. Keep on spooning!

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Response to xfundy (Original post)

Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:50 AM

59. I have never been so proud of cake

I now buy Betty Crocker brand.

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