10 Halloween Candies That Will Make You a TP Target

[FSogol]

From Washingtonian Magazine's Jessica Voelker

Treats to avoid unless you like your trees strewn with toilet paper.

It happens every year. You spend October worrying about flu shots and upcoming Thanksgiving traumas, and all of the sudden the guy on NPR reminds you that a bunch of little kids are going to come by tonight demanding candy. Or maybe you’re a parent trying to forget the fact that your precious offspring is about to get a sugar stash so large he’ll spend the next few weeks as high as a script writer for Sean Saves the World.

This year, don’t let trick-or-treat night sneak up on you lest you end up with a Halloween offering so offensive you become a prime target for neighborhood marauders. Here are ten candies to avoid if you also want to avoid toilet paper, silly string, and—worst of all—the dreaded rotten egg.

10) Raisins

You should know this by now. Handing out those little red boxes is akin to begging some neighborhood punk to write “hippie” on your windshield with soap. Just don’t do it.

9) Actually, any kind of dried fruit (or vegetables)

I know, I know. Your kids Skyler and Moonshine loooooove wrinkly dates and don’t care where wasps like to lay their eggs. Come down to earth for a second and look around, though—the child in the Scorch Supernova costume does not want banana chips.

Whole list here:
http://www.washingtonian.com/blogs/bestbites/holiday-eats/10-halloween-candies-that-will-make-you-a-tp-target.php

[winter is coming]

1. I loved Sugar Daddies when I was a kid. :-(

And I'm surprised they didn't include those three-toned chewy little rectangles that a part chocolate, part pink (never could keep it in my mouth long enough to discern the flavor), and part coconut. Pleah!

Not a fan of candy corn, either.

[FSogol]

2. Never liked those, I always thought they would pull my teeth loose.

I do like mellocremes (candy corn) and disagree with their hatred of Whoppers. Milk Duds would be #1 on my list to avoid.

[winter is coming]

3. Yeah, I liked Whoppers. Milk Duds were okay.

My favorite was probably Pixie Stix.

[FSogol]

4. Pixie Stix are evil, they were like mainlining straight sugar.

Sadly, I had a sister who suggested we snort the stuff one year.

[winter is coming]

7. Ouch! That must have been terrible. n/t

[giftedgirl77]

27. Holy crap we did that too.

I had blue snot for a week

[Throckmorton]

5. Milk Duds look like Giraffe Poop. N/T

[winter is coming]

6. I consider that a plus.

[Throckmorton]

30. I tried to re-frame from making a value judgments on Giraffe Poop.

However, Giraffes as a species ROCK!!!!

[pintobean]

9. I love Whoppers

and malt chocolate shakes.

[Spirochete]

11. I lost 3 teeth one day on a pack of Sugar Babies

and kept on eating them. Or was it Pom Poms? No, I think it was Sugar Babies.I liked those and Sugar Daddys, except those gigantic ones that had to be cut.

[FSogol]

13. Hope those were baby teeth.

[Spirochete]

15. Yeah, they were

I think I was 8 at the time.

[Glassunion]

8. Mike and Ikes

[FSogol]

10. Yeah, they should be there. They seem to be making a comeback of sorts.

Saw them in a movie theater and Target recently.

[Glassunion]

16. I like them. But I am an adult.

As a kid I hated them.

[FSogol]

17. Yeah, the kids would give me their Mike/Ikes, Good and Plenty's, and Tootsie rolls. n/t

[sakabatou]

19. But I love Mike and Ikes

[Atman]

12. Bullshit! I love half the stuff on this list!

But then...I'm an old man.

Seriously, though, Good & Plenty? Whoppers? Almond Joy? Who wrote this list, a ten year old invading his parent's meth stash?

[KamaAina]

14. The Great Depression called. It wants its candy back.

[angstlessk]

21. My favorite movie food..AND I love black liquorish

Malted milk balls...YUMMMY I recon kids taste change not with age but with generations?

[NCarolinawoman]

18. Candy Corn.........

....wrapped in a Halloween paper napkin with a ribbon around it. Also, tootsie rolls.

[angstlessk]

22. No No No...it must be factory wrapped..or it is suspect to being poison

If you go to any trouble to be creative and leave out the big bidness candy producers...you are likely to be arrested

[JaneQPublic]

20. I hand out prunes.

...or at least I used to. For some reason, nobody knocks on my door anymore on Halloween.

[Atman]

23. That's why you hand out prunes.

I assume Halloween is much more quiet these days.

[Atman]

24. I hand out Chinses malamine squares.

[Atman]

25. Or "turtles" with Mitch McConnell's phone number on them

[northoftheborder]

26. I loved and still love Almond Joy, Mounds Bar, Baby Ruth, Log Cabin bars, ANY solid chocolate.

[Brigid]

28. If the little brats show up here . . .

They'll get rocks in their little orange plastic buckets and like it!

[Buns_of_Fire]

29. Now and Later (especially the banana ones)...

...until I neatly removed a crown one day. My dentist at the time (while he was cementing it back on) told me that they used to use them in dental school to remove temporary crowns. Good stuff, though, if you're willing to just wait for it to dissolve.

Nowadays, I just give the little terrorists money to buy whatever they'd like and make them sign a non-egging agreement.

[etherealtruth]

31. I broke a tooth on a Now and Later

Green Apple