I posted something ugly and stupid about overweight people this morning.

[Codeine]

My animus was directed specifically at a single politician but my comment ended up being far more general than it should have. I allowed myself to get carried away by - honestly - my own internalized bigotry against overweight men. My comment made me look stupid and small minded and the reaction to it made me feel like a dick.

I apologize unreservedly to anyone who I offended and I shall endeavor not to make similar statements in the future.

[aptal]

1. I didn't see it, but good realizing that.

[Codeine]

3. It was hidden, as it should have been. nt

[katmondoo]

2. We all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up

[hrmjustin]

4. I did not see it but good for you for apologizing.

[babylonsister]

5. I missed it; still luvs ya! nt

[Skittles]

6. thank you

I have never been overweight but it really disturbs me to see overweight people (no matter how despicable they may be) disparaged on DU and your apology nice

[zappaman]

7. Missed it, but...

for the apology!

[anneboleyn]

8. Good for you to stand up and apologize. I know two obese men very well (they are both

in late middle age) and they have struggled mightily with weight problems since childhood. Childhood (and neither of them were eating huge amounts of food -- they just kept putting on weight while their friends seemed to get skinnier) -- I think the genetics of this issue are very complicated indeed.

I apologize; I did not mean to rant on a topic loosely related to your post. It took a lot of courage for you to apologize for your earlier post (which I did not see). Your gesture, a sign of your maturity and empathy for others, shows why DU (unlike, say, Freeperville) is a place populated by GOOD people. Thank you.

[spanone]

9. don't worry, i post ugly and stupid constantly

[marble falls]

10. Its all good again.

[Hekate]

11. Missed it, and glad. Good for you, though: self-insight is priceless, if painful

I know fat-shame and fat-shaming from the inside: my mother spent a lifetime beating herself up for being overweight, simultaneously not able to resist commenting on the weight of other people. Including me -- a slender teen with good waist-to-hip ratio, which meant she couldn't resist commenting on the size of my butt. "Broad side of a barn" was how she described my older cousin's chunky figure. "Hiding inside a wall of fat" was her comment on one of my best friends in college, who was obese.

I have to say I always felt sorry for my mom. She was a wonderful woman with a lot of self-loathing.

Never saw it coming for me, and it was really painful, but I mostly kept my vow to at least not talk about it. Oddly -- and this is why I now do talk about it -- my doctor took me off a prescription I'd been on for almost 20 years, and the day it left my system I actually felt it, like a switch turned off in my brain making me finally able to lose weight and keep it off. I was stunned, and it was another doc who confirmed my intuition.

Obesity in the US is a complicated issue. One look at class photos from my elementary through high school years (1950s-1960s) versus today's class photos will tell you how pervasive it is among children, when it used to be rare. Sure we're more sedentary and fast food is ubiquitous, but it goes beyond that. Our entire food chain has been contaminated with additives known to fatten up livestock; and major industries are devoted to treating food, the stuff of life, as a commodity, a product to be pushed at us and sold by methods proven to work.

Just sayin' -- please keep what I have said in mind.

[PasadenaTrudy]

30. I'm hoping to get off

Cymbalta. I think it is the culprit in my weight gain. Always thin until I went on it about 6 yrs ago...

[Hekate]

32. Best of luck

I had several different doctors scold me over the years ("Push yourself away from the table&quot and my gynecologist flat out said she didn't want patients who wouldn't take care of themselves.

Every single one of them had a list of my medications, and not one of them brought that up. Yet while I was still furious and stunned over what it felt like to have that one leave my system, three different docs I met in passing said my med "was notorious for weight gain."

That's why I talk about the connection.

[PasadenaTrudy]

33. Yeah

I get blamed for not exercising enough...I can't, I'm sick! I read that like 2% of Cymbalta users gain weight. It makes a difference when you are in that 2%!

[MarianJack]

12. OK, Codeine, now...

...come give us a hug!

PEACE!

[rhett o rick]

13. Thank you for your apology. I didnt see your post but I have seen a number of

posts aimed at disparaging Gov Christie but end up disparaging heavy people. It's still fairly acceptable to mock over weight people. John Stewart does it, but then he mocks a lot of different things.

[awoke_in_2003]

62. I hate Christie threads...

because that is where they always go.

[rhett o rick]

66. It's bullying to use someone's apparent weakness to disparage them. Attack

Christie for his ideologies and not his weight, height, color, religion, etc.

[Rex]

14. I knew there was a reason I like you.

nt.

[Logical]

15. This post is classy! Nice job! nt

[Curmudgeoness]

16. How often things come out different than we intended.

It happens to us all occasionally.

Eloquent and sincere apology.

[wryter2000]

17. I didn't see your post

But I surely do appreciate the sentiment in this post. I've been appalled at the way some here put down large people. It's one of the few ways liberals find it acceptable to be cruel to people.

[Douglas Carpenter]

18. most of us have prejudices that many times we don't even really know we have or are unaware of

how unfair some of our attitudes can be and how much they might hurt others. It is always a movement forward for humanity when anyone recognizes this and tries to change their outlook.

[Yo_Mama]

19. Congratulations for the apology!

If DU were restricted to perfect people, it would be a pretty small forum.

[radiclib]

20. This fat fuck thanks you

and I have no excuse. I just have the diet habits of a reckless moron.

[lib87]

21. Thanks!

I rarely see people apologize for comments on forums so this is a breath of fresh air.

[BillyRibs]

22. I came to grips

about my weight years ago. Scoliosis has kept me from being as active as I need to be so I'll say it for you as it takes one to know one. Christie is a fat bastard. The one difference between he and I? I understand Humility he only expresses Hubris.

[AverageJoe90]

23. It's okay, we all mess up from time to time.

You apologized, and that's all that matters now, IMO(p.s. I'm overweight myself!).

[tclambert]

24. So, wait, no more "Yo mama so fat" jokes? 'Cause yo mama's so fat . . .

she should probably, you know, go on a diet, 'cause it's not healthy to have such a high body mass index, and like that.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

26. Being overweight, I frequently abuse stupid Tea baggers,

So I think it evens out.

[TeeYiYi]

27. I don't think your post should have been hidden...

I don't think Trumad's should have been hidden either.

Both comments were directed at a vile republican pig of a person who just won an election with the help of endorsements from a shitload of traitorous democrats; thereby disenfranchising the rightful democrat who should have been the recipient of democratic endorsements.

I saw no direction of insensitivity toward any DUers.

Christie is a finger wagging, democratic endorsement sucking pig.

Carry on.

TYY

[Ms. Toad]

41. Using fat as an insult

is hurtful to overweight individuals, in the same way that using gay as an insult doesn't just hurt an intended target.

[TeeYiYi]

43. I would prefer to see...

...dialog when dealing with DUers who've been here for a long time. Especially when the insult was not directed at a fellow DUer.

A teachable moment rather than a kneejerk hide.

TYY

[Ms. Toad]

45. If you go hunt for the original thread,

You will see:

(1) the thread itself was a request to individuals not to use fat as an insult
(2) some people took the OP as an invitation to use fat as an insult
(3) there was a lot of dialog going on in that thread with at least one individual in the thread about why it was inappropriate to use fat as an insult.

So the hides were hardly kneejerk hides. They were hides in a dialog specifically started about why using fat as an insult was hurtful - after additional dialog with at least one individual who continued to insist that using fat as an insult was perfectly fine.

ETA: Some people apparently just aren't teachable - and at least one will be getting a time-out from December 25 through mid-January because even with the guarantee of a few days in time-out before today, the "fun" of continuing to use fat as an insult was just too much to resist.

[TeeYiYi]

48. They were pushing back...

...against the latest addition to the old meta wars 'DU word ban list'. Just because someone starts a thread about their own personal discomfort with a particular word doesn't automatically make its use a hideable offense. It presents an opportunity for enlightened discussion, not the ban hammer.

TYY

[Ms. Toad]

49. It isn't a word.

It is using fat (the concept) as an insult. You may not like it, but after multiple attempts at enlightened discussion, at least three juries in that thread, and at least one in this one, have decided that using fat as an insult is disruptive.

The ban, such as it is, isn't for this individual hide - but for a pattern of repeated behavior which is disruptive, offensive, hurtful, or rude. After imposing no significant consequences for such behavior, the admins have decided that the only way to get the message across is to impose a cone of silence for repeated bad behavior. If you don't think that an appropriate way to get the message across, take it up with the admins.

[TeeYiYi]

50. Mine was simply an observation;...

...an opinion of support to a friend on DU, posted in a forum on the internet.

I don't 'like' or 'dislike' anything about the concept of using the word "fat" as an insult. My comments on the issue, with the exception of one, have all been in response to queries or statements coming from you. I won't be 'taking up' anything with the admins. I don't really care either way.

What I disapprove of is censorship; good old fashioned torch and pitchfork wielding suppression of free speech. If "fat" is now officially on the DU ban hammer list of words to be avoided, I suggest you make an announcement thread and pin it to the top of GD so that no other DUers have to find out the hard way that "fat" is now verboten.

TYY

[Ms. Toad]

51. Again it is not the word "fat"

It is using the concept of being fat (whatever word you use to describe it) as an insult.

It is pretty silly to suggest that someone using weight as an insult in a thread which asked people not to use weight as a insult, and who was specifically asked repeatedly not to use weight as an insult, "found out the hard way" that it was considered against community standards.

[TeeYiYi]

53. Ok. Got it...

In the future, when referring to Chris Christie, don't use the following words:

blubbery, chubby, corpulent, fleshy, full, gross, lardy, obese, overweight, plump, podgy, portly, pudgy, replete, roly-poly, rotund, round, tubby, beefy, bulky, chunky, heavy, heavyset, plumpish, stocky, stout, thick, thickset, weighty; brawny, burly, hefty, husky; dumpy, squat, stubby; hippy, paunchy, potbellied; flabby, soft; ample, buxom, corn-fed, ripe, zaftig

TYY

[Ms. Toad]

57. You obviously don't,

or more likely, you are pretending you don't, since the post you are defending didn't use any of those words.

It isn't a word game - so creating a list of synonyms isn't any closer than naming one word not to use. And the issues is using the characteristic of being overweight as an insult.

[madinmaryland]

61. Isn't Cristies condition called morbidly obese.

Which is why he had stomach surgery.

[awoke_in_2003]

65. Are you purposely obtuse? nt

[TeeYiYi]

69. Purposeful, yes. Obtuse...

...not so much.

TYY

[Throd]

28. If I had a dollar for each of my ill-considered posts, I'd have about $3,500

I've seen your posts for some time now. Never thought of you as a dick.

[RKP5637]

29. Good for you to give a heart felt apology!

[PasadenaTrudy]

31. Weight is a tough one...

I was skinny until my mid-forties, then perimenopause hit, I lost my mom and sister, and started a medication that has weight gain as a side affect. I can't do much exercise due to fibromyalgia, I don't eat much. It just sucks! We aren't all fat slobs is what I'm sayin' I guess.

[Hekate]

46. It was the fibromyalgia med that did it to me, same age and everything as you

I wasn't even perimenopausal at 42, but by the time I was off the low-dose tri-cyclic antidepressant all those years later, I was well past menopause, had gained 50+ pounds, blood sugar and blood pressure going up, sleep apnea, the works. My body had changed a lot -- losing weight 25 years ago was easy for me -- not gaining weight in the first place was even easier. But under the influence of the medication, for years I suffered from what I privately referred to as "insane cravings." I was so ashamed of my loss of control, and there were so many sources adding to that shame.

It's been several years now since I weaned myself from that med. I may never actually lose the last 20 pounds, and I will have to be careful the rest of my life, but last I checked my BMI tells me I am "only" overweight and not obese. That in itself is a victory of sorts.

But I'll tell you, I will never get over how furious I felt when that switch clicked in my brain, because I could feel it and I knew what it was.

[PasadenaTrudy]

58. Wow

Sounds so much like me. Glad things fell into place for you. I'm angry too and I'm going to start to slowly taper off my med and see what happens. I'm not looking forward to the withdrawal, but I must try at least.

[rurallib]

34. I work out like crazy 5 times a week

used to be a top notch racketball and basketball player. Yet I am overweight.
Get pretty tired of the stares. Used to be comments but those stopped.
Oh and by the way - I have given over 50 gallons of blood in my life - 50 gallons. That is a lot of lives I have helped.

Yet many people can't get by my weight.

[renate]

40. ... 50 gallons!

Wow! That's amazing!

[rurallib]

63. been giving since Dec, 1967 46 years next month

switched to monthly platelets about 17 years ago - this year, with a special 4 white cell donation - I have given 2 gallons.

And yes, I do appreciate the shout out. I am really proud of this.

[alp227]

35. Thank you!

When people moan about people like Christie weighing 300+ pounds, do realize the heaviest players on the New York Giants weigh 300-330 pounds. Asides from possible brain damage/joint injuries, they have no known cardiac issues.

[LibDemAlways]

36. I appreciate your apology. It takes

a big person (pun intended) to admit they screwed up

[seabeyond]

37. wow, when you apologize, you do it well. need to talk to the repugs to teach them what a true

apology is.

[Ms. Toad]

38. Thank you. n/t

[bullwinkle428]

39. I was going to reply to your post by saying "You're better than that",

and this post definitely proves it!

[nolabear]

42. You're a mensch.

[Brickbat]

44. It's hard to apologize on a message board.

Thanks for this.

[Hekate]

47. You not only did the gracious thing here, you provided an opportunity for a good discussion

Thanks

[Agschmid]

52. Thanks for the apology.

[Deep13]

54. Thanks.

Was it Taft?

[polly7]

55. That was a nice apology and you're a good person, Codeine. nt.

[IronLionZion]

56. When we don't like a public figure we tend to look for qualities they have to poke fun at.

Sometimes our own prejudices and insecurities come out. Fat shaming often appears more widely acceptable because of the common misconception that people made poor choices that led to their condition rather than legitimate health or mental conditions causing it.


I didn't see it but good for you for realizing this.

[grahamhgreen]

59. Cuz you are ugly and stupid!

JOKING!

[LordGlenconner]

60. Meh...you didn't touch the third rail on DU

Which is overweight people and flying. That's when DU's fat haters really come out to play and it's very, very ugly.

[Maraya1969]

64. It's nice to see a humble action from a fellow being. Thank you.

You can stop blaming yourself now.

[nomorenomore08]

68. As I've said, Christie's weight is the *least* of his negative qualities.

He'd be a prick no matter what he weighed.