Homeless: Perceptions, Prejudice, Pride, Reality (Discussion)
Today on the way to work I learned there are 19,000 homeless people in Detroit. (The radio was extolling a new program that is going to house 41 of them - sigh.)
When I think of this number of homeless people, I am bluntly shocked. If a family member was about to become homeless through bad luck / medical disaster, they would be welcome to stay with us.
HOWEVER, with that being said, we have had at least one extended family member who did end up homeless, and we were not willing to take that person in because they were addicted to heroin, and since they weren't at a place where they were willing to do what was necessary to break the addiction, this person ended up in a very bad place in life for a while. (Happy Ending: Now clean for nearly five years - woo hoo!) While we mourned and feared for this person, we could not in good conscience endanger ourselves and our children by having that behavior and the criminal behavior (theft) that went with the lifestyle, in our home.
I am personally aware of several folk who "ended up homeless" because of different life choices, and in one case in particular, I felt a sense of karmic justice when I found out she was "homeless" because she was a user of people who appeared to live to drain other people's finances. In her case, she had a brother who was a multi-millionaire and living parents, all of whom had been burned by the constant drama in her life to the point where they were just "done" with her. (She took us for thousands and nearly destroyed us financially - sigh.)
I have shared my home with friends who were going through temporary rough patches while they got back on their feet, and it wasn't a big deal; in those cases the situations were temporary, and once the person began the mental recovery process (relationships ending, etc.) they were able to step back into the "productive citizen role" and find a way to cover the expenses associated with life. In my early twenties I went through a similar rough patch, and was lucky enough to have a friend who helped me out; I am lucky in that I have been able to "pay that gift forward" to others.
I also know, as a woman who spent five months on bedrest when I was pregnant with twins, that if I hadn't had a hardworking spouse, I would have ended up "homeless" (aka "living on the charity of a relative"
during that period, and I count my blessings that I was able to be a "stay-at-home" mom during that first year to my premature twins. Not every person going through medical situations like ours (or worse!) has the benefit of a partner to pick up the financial slack during times of Zero Income.
Talking about this is difficult, but I am trying to be honest here. I have opinions, and not all of them are true for everyone, or even valid beyond my immediate circle of experience. With that being said....
Here are some of *MY* perceptions and prejudices - if you are homeless and living on the street, you either have a) too much pride to ask for help, which is foolish; b) have asked for help too many times, leading to "burn-out" from your support structure, c) don't have / haven't established a strong support structure of family/friends in your current location, or d) have something mentally wrong with you like mental illness or addiction issues.
I think for cities that attract people because of their "mythology" (like Hollywood or New York), the lack of established support structures is probably worse, but frankly, Detroit is not (to my knowledge) a destination of choice in quite the same fashion. Plus, Michigan winters = deadly for sleeping on the streets.
I don't have numbers about this, but it seems extremely odd to me that nearly Twenty Thousand People are living on the streets of Detroit, and can't find a family member to help them out. I also know that mental illness and addiction issues are bigger than most families can cope with, and the resources to dealing with them are limited.
It appears to me that the "cost of living" for those in financial distress needs to include not just food and shelter, but transportation - and how does one deal with those in medical situations who *can't* work while they or a loved one are getting treatment?
I have no idea how to even address the issues of those struggling with problems such that they cannot handle the burdens of regular employment or day-to-day decision making without the long term supervision of family caregivers.
I have friends who are strong advocates of adopting the world's orphan children, and making one person's life better at a time.
I wonder how many of our homeless population are caused by "too big to fix" problems, and how many people just need a couple of months breathing room to get back on their feet?
If you could offer your couch to a stranger for a few months, would you do it? How would you "keep your family safe" in case they turned out to be damaged individuals struggling with inner demons?
How many of my perceptions and prejudices, including that of pride, are actually reality?
Thoughts?
NOTE: I would like this to be a productive thread; if you think I am "blaming the victim", please be aware I am not doing so intentionally. I am thinking about this, and at a certain level, it just seems crazy that a city with available housing has so many in need of help.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Perhaps I should have thrown a couple of pit bulls breast feeding at Olive Garden into the thread - lol.
Sigh.
