Breitbart conspiracy theories exposed.
After extensive research with the assistance of the cold beer posse I am now capable of dispelling the numerous conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Andrew Breitbart.
It appears that Charles and David Koch had entered an extremely lucrative business arrangement involving the destruction of the planet Earth to make way for a new Pan galactic strip mine.
Learning the details of this arrangement Breitbart was about to break the story on his web page. In keeping with the republican tradition of using upbeat titles such as No Child Left Behind or A woman’s right to know, in true Frank Luntz fashion , Breitbart was to use the head line.
Republican enegery plan eliminates unemployment.
As this premature announcement would have severely impacted the investments of various Vogon capital groups it was decided to delay the article by exposing Breitbart to a performance of Vogon poetry, a sample of which appears here…
Unfortunately, as we know excessive exposure to Vogon poetry may have fatal results.
Getting word of this business venture the white mice, earth’s most intelligent inhabitants, protested vigorously.
Having been denied a hearing before a republican controlled senate committee, the white mice collation perused other means to expose the story.
It has been rumored that in order to boaster public opinion for the pan galactic strip mine project the Vogons employed the services of Rush Limbaugh to repeatedly portray white mice as a form of feminine hygiene product. The new term mouseanatzi was hoped to become a common household word.
When asked during an interview what effect the pan galactic strip mine project might have on the upcoming presidential election, a spokesman for the white mice gave the following answer.
42
= new reply since forum marked as read
