Listening in from the window seat:

[MineralMan]

Here's a sample from a future airline flight I'll be on. I always choose a window seat, since I like peering down at the landscape as we fly over it. These days, there's always someone sitting next to me in the middle seat. Here's what I expect to hear, now that the FAA is about to OK the use of cell phones during flights. BTW, I oppose that move, because I don't want to hear this, or anything else like it, on a flight:

Mary, I'm calling you from the plane.
...
No...from the plane. I'm on the plane!
...
Florida. I'm going to Cape Coral for a week.
...
CAPE CORAL!
...
No. FLORIDA.
...
Jim had to work, and isn't coming.
...
Actually, he's been sort of a jerk lately. I think he's seeing someone.
...
I have no idea, but we haven't had sex in two weeks.
...
TWO WEEKS!
...
What do you mean by that?
....
You knew about it and didn't tell me?
...
WHEN?
...
How could you have betrayed me like that?
...
HE SAID WHAT?
...
SHIT! You've ruined my vacation. I HATE YOU!
...
Well, you're welcome to him. Wait until he wants you to...
DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME?
{Pause}
Emily? I'm calling you from the plane.
...
THE PLANE. I'M ON THE PLANE!
{plugging in my earbuds}

[NCTraveler]

1. Don't let people living their lives get to you.

Nothing wrong with using a cell phone on a plane. Playing games or texting is a great way to pass the time.

Maybe you could plug in your earbuds right off the bat. Maybe you could make a pretend call to your wife telling her about the conversation you just heard. Have fun.

[polichick]

2. Playing games or texting is fine...

Flapping your gums for the whole flight is another story.

[NCTraveler]

3. Would one get cell service for a whole flight? nt.

[polichick]

6. You could talk as long as you could play games or text.

[NCTraveler]

7. It was an honest question.l

Do you get cell service throughout a flight? Your answer is kind of common sense, yet didn't answer the question.

[polichick]

8. You're making the case for using phones in flight...

Not me.

[NCTraveler]

13. ok. nt.

[LordGlenconner]

41. And imagine dozens of people

Flapping their gums in an enclosed area like an airplane. At the same time. It's a recipe to go apeshit.

[polichick]

45. Really - people in the exit rows would be jumping out!

[MADem]

52. I recently bought a "better" set of headphones.

They are actual headphones, not huge, but they cover the ear and are not those bud things that hurt your ears (or hurt MY ears). I fly often enough, and I think I'll start breaking those bad boys out, even if I'm just listening to white noise!!!

[HappyMe]

4. People living their lives is fine.

It's when they drag everybody around them into their lives/drama that gets old fast.

[NCTraveler]

5. I have never been dragged into anybodys life/drama....

from overhearing a cell phone conversation.

[HappyMe]

9. I don't care to overhear somebody

squabbling with their SO, complain about their hemorrhoids, or talk smack about their friends for upwards of 15 minutes.

A brief conversation - okay. Loud yammering on and on and on....sorry they are dragging me into their nonsense.

[NCTraveler]

14. I do get that. I am sure a loud and extended conversation would get on my nerves.

But a discussion about their hemorrhoids, count me in. Might even lean over and whisper a little unwanted advice.

[MineralMan]

16. Planes are noisy, by nature.

That means that people are going to have to speak loudly to be understood. Hence the ALL CAPS and boldfacing in my sample dialog. I've listened to phone calls already, before takeoff and after arriving at the gate. People speak loudly, because the plane is noisy.

[MindPilot]

25. And the more conversations there are the noisier it gets.

[MineralMan]

28. That, too.

These days, once the plane gets to the gate, you hear this from all sides:

"I just landed. I should be outside in about 10 minutes."

I do that, too. That helps whoever is picking me up from circling the airport over and over again. At MSP, there's a convenient cell phone lot just off the airport. People wait there for a phone call, then drive to the pickup area just as the person is coming out the door. My wife and I do it so that I call her at the cell phone lot after I've gotten to the curb. No waiting, no delays.

She watches the flight on her smart phone, so she knows when it has landed, too. Easy peasy.

[NCTraveler]

43. Very good point.

Enough so to make me rethink my "I don't give a shit" attitude on this one. The noise of the plane, plus the noise of five or more phone conversations, might just drive one mad.

[Skittles]

48. you don't get out much

I hear these assholes all the time, usually in line with me at the grocery store or at the post office

[MindPilot]

10. If you let people do this, then before you know it they are breastfeeding,

wearing smelly perfume, and smoking e-cigs!

Seriously, I am all for permitting texting, but really I think talking on the phone should be prohibited during the flight.

[polichick]

12. Breastfeeding is essential...

I did it many times so the babies' ears would clear.

[MineralMan]

15. Why would anyone be bothered by someone breastfeeding

a baby on a plane. How is that disturbing? Phone calls are, by their nature, audibly intrusive. A nursing baby is a quiet baby, most of the time. I could still look out the window at the landscape and think about things.

As you point out, there's nothing much similar between the two things.

[HappyMe]

17. I think the other poster was being sarcastic/funny.

Ala the Olive Garden, pitbulls etc. flamey threads.

[ScreamingMeemie]

21. Now there's an idea... Ala carte Olive Garden on a plane...

mmmmmmmmm

[HappyMe]

27. It would be a hell of a lot better

than absolutely nothing but peanuts.

I have had the soup and salad lunch there a few times. It was good.

[MineralMan]

23. Yah, I know. I was agreeing with the person

I replied to.

[MindPilot]

20. We really need a hyperbole font.

I thought that beginning my second sentence with "seriously" would clearly imply that the first one was not.

[polichick]

24. I got it but felt it's important to make a...

distinction between essential activities and unnecessary ones.

I was on a flight with a woman who decided she should paint her nails. They made her stop - good call since the fumes were making people feel sick.

[MineralMan]

31. Also, I wish Taco Bell didn't sell bean burritos

at their airport locations. Truly.

[polichick]

44. oyyy

[MineralMan]

46. Indeed.

[polichick]

47. Also, airlines need to keep some Febreze around...

My husband recently traveled to Europe in business class with those little bed thingys, and the bed reeked of body odor. They gave him a bunch of blankets to sleep on but the smell was horrendous. They could've used Febreze.

[MineralMan]

26. I recognized the satirical nature of your post.

I was just continuing the conversation. Still, some folks on DU will provide an argument against breastfeeding at the drop of a hat. I've never quite understood that, but it's pretty common.

[MindPilot]

29. "A nursing baby is a quiet baby"

That right there is why the cabin of an airliner is the very last place anyone should be opposed to breastfeeding. In fact it should be encouraged. Nursing mothers should get a heavy discount on their ticket if she agrees to feed all the crying babies on that flight.

(regardless of age)

[MineralMan]

35. I support a mother's right to breastfeed anywhere she wishes.

Always have. I've never understood any objections to it. Folks have to eat, whatever their age.

[msanthrope]

11. Larry David has a solution for this...

http://m.

&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DLtdpJlZ07u4

[MineralMan]

19. Funny bit.

"Say, can't you see I'm on the phone, here?"

[Initech]

37. Curb Your Enthusiasm FTW!

[Le Taz Hot]

18. Same problem on the city bus.

The conversation often consists of something about a parole agent, the po-po, and smoking a bowl after I get off this bus and wherein the word "fuck" is inserted about every other word. All very loud.

You guys on the plane are at a distinct disadvantage in that there's no getting away from it. Tuesday one guy cleared out the entire bus in about 10 seconds. Apparently he had messed himself and he was the only one unaware of the vomit-inducing odor. Thank the goddess we were at a transfer station and could get off until the bus aired out.

[MineralMan]

22. I ride Metro Transit buses here in the Twin Cities

pretty often. Generally, they're not all that packed, so I can usually find a seat with room around it. Planes, not so much.

[FarCenter]

50. On a shuttle bus home from the airport was a lady with a voice like Carol Channing's but louder

Or maybe like Selma Diamond but louder.

The entire bus knew about who she was going to visit, which days, who else would be there, etc., etc., etc.

She was on the phone for the 45 minutes that I was on the bus, and she had another half hour to her stop.

[MineralMan]

51. Yup. It is a way to be noticed, I guess.

[rudolph the red]

30. I like to think that most people are generally

courteous to others by default, even if you are seated near the random jackass, so what? It's a minor annoyance, and it's easy to ignore such things. I hope you are pleasantly surprised next time you fly.

[MineralMan]

32. I'll be flying in mid-December, and this rule won't be in effect yet.

I used to fly frequently for work. These days, I fly only a couple of times a year. I'm a very quiet, very polite passenger. I sit down, read my Kindle, and look out the window frequently. I can't say the same for a lot of people who have sat next to me, though.

[Warpy]

33. I bought some cheap noise canceling headsets last winter

and they work when the police chopper is circling overhead for hours at a time. I think they'll come in very handy when some cell phone clod is shrieking into his/her idiot phone trying to be heard above the engine noise.

I'll get to try them out eventually. I think I got them just in time. I'll be the one with the Kindle and knitting with headsets on.

ETA: cell phone clods in close proximity where people are jammed together and uncomfortable with a certain amount of anxiety at being in a metal tube 35,000 feet above the ground, what could possibly go wrong? This ruling is dumb. Texting is one thing, I don't think anyone will mind that, but some people feel compelled to scream into the damned phones every minute they're awake.

[MineralMan]

34. Probably a good idea.

I don't have those, though. It would be just one more thing to deal with, and I travel very lightly.

[Warpy]

36. I do, too, usually my drugs and my knitting and a change of undies

in my smallish carry on bag, a half filled suitcase checked. I'd have plenty of room for the headsets, which fold flat and are easy to pack. The headsets would prevent murder and I'm neither rich nor beautiful enough to be acquitted.

[JHB]

38. Keep a paper and pencil with you, start writing his conversation down...

...when you finish a page, hold it in front of him.

[snooper2]

39. You should take the initiative on this and make Millions!

The Mineral Man Bubble!



Tired of being offended by other peoples smell, loud conversations and don't want to be bothered? Try the MM-Bubble!
The Bubble allows you to breath and see normally while blocking offensive smells and outside noise! You can even get the optional injector tube for consuming your favorite drinks and liquefied food!

[MineralMan]

40. How about the Ostrich Pillow?

It's available from a number of outlets, including Hammacher Shchlemmer:



http://www.hammacher.com/Product/84391

They charge way too much for it, though, but if you Google Ostrich Pillow, you'll find it for a quarter of their price.

The ultimate travel accessory?

[IDemo]

42. Haven't flown since the 90's, one more reason I won't anytime soon

I understand that many either have to or want to and that's fine. I'm happy without the absurd mess flying has become in the decade and a half since then.

[CFLDem]

49. What the heck is so important that it can't wait for a few hours?!

It's not like you can parachute from the plane to do something about it.

Just a furthering of society's

"It's important because it's important to ME" complex.

Put the damn phone down and enjoy the wonder of flight. (Full disclosure: as an aviator I am biased about flight being wonderful).