Anyone have rich conservative relatives who like to deny their wealth?

[Locut0s]

Or even get angry at you when you bring up the possibility that they may in fact be wealthy? I've got 2 sets of uncles who are both fairly wealthy, one more than the other, and both of whom are conservative to some degree, one MUCH more so than the other. Both of them seem to like to play mind games with the rest of the family and if the topic of wealth somehow comes up they seem to like to play the fool. "What me? We aren't wealthy" And there is a tone of "how dare you suggest we are", even when the topic naturally arises. Often this comes about in our family when it comes to splitting a bill for something.

Often the rich members of the family want to do something grand and showy for our grandfather, and now late grandmother, and want the rest of us to chip in. When we suggested we should all pay according to our ability, instead of their idea of a very high flat rate, they would get all high and mighty and bothered about the whole thing. Like it's your fault you don't have as much money as we do and how dare you bring up the fact that we have a lot, we hardly have any (*rolls eyes*). This has come up more than once. Recently there was a conversation between one of the rich uncles and our grandfather in which the rich uncle suggested he could get X mount of money for his house which anyone who knew anything about real estate in this city would know is undervaluing the property but AT LEAST 2x! But of course you could never bring up this fact, he would just get angry.

Anyone else have similar relatives?

[Nye Bevan]

1. Fortunately the subject of relative wealth never seems to come up in family gatherings I go to.

Some subjects it's best to steer clear from.

[Locut0s]

3. Yeah you're lucky. Actually it usually doesn't come up for us either...

But the few times it has it's been nasty. There's a real undercurrent of competitiveness between the uncles in my family and a sense that the wealthy brothers have something to lord over the rest of us.

[sakabatou]

2. Nope.

[Barack_America]

4. More like poor conservative relatives who like to deny their poverty.

Of course, their conservatism is more about racism and what they feel entitled to as white Americans.

[Arcanetrance]

5. Yep I have an aunt and uncle that kept an apartment in NYC and weekend home in Buck Hill Falls Pa

Which for those that don't know the area it's pretty damn well off. But you talk to them oh now we aren't wealthy.

[hollysmom]

6. wealth is relative

compared to many family members, I am the wealthy one, I know I have the most savings, but it is not a million dollars and to me you have to have at least a million dollars. To others, they agree I live modestly because there is no more income, just living of SS and savings. IfI intend living at least 20 more years and I spend xx thousand over what I get in, I need what I saved and the last years I will be living on the value of selling my house.

So to those with nothing, i am very rich,to those who have seen my financial plan, (i.e. my sister) she knows I am living appropriately.

[libdem4life]

7. My Po Folk are like someone here said...temporarily embarrassed millionaires. LOL. n/t

[ancianita]

8. YES. In-laws in the financial business, with personal backgrounds in China. They've got a holding

company and a number of things going on. They're not the big players in the area, but they afford pretty expensive housing, paid university tuitions at Georgetown Law School and University of Chicago business school and big ticket whole family vacations, with 'golf trips' to the Dominican Republic. They still see themselves as 'just folks,' which is fine by me, but their politics is the stuff of bubble and rewritten history. Their family narrative is actually one of the self-made rich, which is valid.

Politics is the delicate point of encounter, but over years, now, they've been slowly acknowledging the claims of liberals and serious flaws of their party, even if not buying into politics that hurts their bottom line, or any restructuring management/labor relations.

They're soon to be ex in-laws, so the ongoing discussions will be lost.

[laundry_queen]

9. yeah, my parents.

Well, they aren't super wealthy, but they are well off. They will be able to retire early. They have more than enough. They talk about whether or not they'll be able to 'make it' on their retirement salary, which is far more than what I make - and I have 4 kids and am trying to put myself through school and have a mortgage - they don't.

They often play mind games with me about their money. It's hard to explain, they always dangle the carrot then pull it back. They've made promises then claimed they never did and didn't I understand how broke they were? Once after pulling the carrot back, I asked her why she was doing this? She stated, "we have to think about our retirement you know. It's time for us to think about ourselves now." I always thought to myself, now?? when was that different than any other time? That's all they've ever done is think about themselves.

For a long time I thought they were decently well off but not at the level I recently found out. I knew they owned several properties outright and had some savings. I excused a lot of the carrot dangling because of it - I thought, "well maybe they want to help but then get scared because they need to concentrate on saving more, maybe they don't have enough to retire." However, I clean their house (that's one way my mom will help me with money - when she gets something out of it and doesn't have to pay me as much as a cleaning service) and they left a statement of financial position right on the desk. Let's just say I vastly underestimated their wealth and it makes me even angrier that they would do what they did. They are wealthy. Not super wealthy. But they could've fulfilled all of their broken promises and bought me a house in cash and not have it make a dent on their retirement. Not that I feel entitled to any of it (or that I expect a house, LOL, but just to demonstrate how much they have) but the last few years have been difficult to say the least and they made promises that I counted on and made huge life-changing decisions because of those promises. ugh, the whole thing makes me ill. I would never, ever do that to my children. Ever.


I get what you are saying about how they 'get' when you bring up money, and how dare I suggest they are 'well off' don't I know how they struggled and how HARD they worked for their money and if only I worked as HARD as they did...ugh, you know the typical conservative mindset. Yeah, like it's my fault my ex ran off with another woman and I found myself without a money or job or education and with 4 kids to raise on my own. I think I've done pretty good - after this term I'll have 6 more courses until I get my degree, I'm certain I'll get a decent job (I live in a low unemployment rate area) I've been able to pay for my education on my own (my ex pays enough in child support and spousal support that I just get by) and budget pretty effectively. I think I work hard too. Pretty much the only people who know my situation who haven't complimented me on how hard it must've been and haven't I risen to the challenge are my parents.

Yeah, my dad's the "why should I pay taxes for the school system? I don't have kids in school. Currently." type too. They are also the type to make judgments on how poor people spend their money, even though back when they didn't have much money, I remember them making some dumb decisions. Oh well. Typically conservative, they cannot see past their own noses. It will always be that way with them.

[StrayKat]

10. I don't, but I have a friend with these types.

One "not rich" uncle in particular has money for a golf club membership and a summer home, but insists on only buying day old bread and expired lunch meats because he can't afford unspoiled food for his family. He's the type that goes in for group dining, orders the most expensive items, racks up a tab twice as high as anyone else, but insists on splitting the bill equally and never pays the tip. Huge Bachmann fan.

[Taitertots]

11. In my family, No. In my personal life, yes

I just laugh at them and say "You are a global .1%'er."

To the flat tax people I say "Do you think driving millions of people into poverty is good for the economy".