I owe an apology to DU.

[William769]

I posted this thread in good faith N.J. Waitress Stiffed on $93 Bill for Perceived Lesbianism http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4034037 Given the report that I have seen on the couples credit card statement I am inclined to believe the couple.

I am pissed and ashamed at the same time because shit like this does happen and the bigotry & hate is widespread. With that said, with all the hate & bigotry out there none needs to be made up.

This story on both accounts made national news and it pains me to see the end results so far.

I will still fight against discrimination that affects the various minorities until hate & bigotry is stamped out.

There still may be more to this story and all I want is for the whole truth to come out.

I hope you all understand my feelings here.

William769

[PoliticAverse]

1. We may not know the definitive version until someone sues someone and the courts get involved. n/t

[cali]

2. You have no reason to be ashamed.

and you don't owe DU an apology.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

12. +1

[fadedrose]

20. +++

[meegbear]

26. +1

[Scuba]

47. + another. Not like DU is CBS.

[gulliver]

48. -1

Obviously if the new news turns out to be true, then the OP was duped. That doesn't eliminate the need for a correction and an apology though. The OP did the right thing.

[DonViejo]

52. Agree, 100,000 + per cent. eom

[dipsydoodle]

3. Thoughtful of you to do this given later news on the subject.

but an apology wasn't necessary.

[Rex]

4. You don't need to apologize to anyone, you thought the story was true.

SO did I.

In your 4 sentence, I think you mean you will fight 'against discrimination'...not for it.

Again, really no need to make an apology thread imo.

[William769]

9. Thank you.

[Rex]

11. NP. I, like you, hope there is more to this story.

[HappyMe]

5. No apology needed.

You posted in good faith, and had no way of knowing the credit card statement.

[stevenleser]

6. If that person lied, they should be ashamed, but you did nothing wrong.

[Union Scribe]

7. You didn't do anything wrong

If she made it up, that's all on her. The public's reaction came from the right place, and if nothing else it should be encouraging that incidents like this inspire pushback.

[geek tragedy]

8. You did nothing wrong, but thank you for writing this nt

[Logical]

10. If true the police need to arrest her for fraud! nt

[Gothmog]

13. No apology is necessary

It is not clear that all of the facts have come out yet

[Major Hogwash]

14. Queen Elizabeth is not amused!!!

Bill . . Bill . . Bill.

Bill . . Bill . . Bill.

You don't owe anybody shit!!
We are all here of our own accord.

If you posted an article that was written that turns out not to be exactly what happened, it's not your fault.

If someone gets upsetted over it, it's not your fault -- it's their's!

We are all responsible for our own reactions, our own emotions, our own responses.

But, I understand why you did this, and I know that you want to clear the air.

You stand head and shoulders above most people anyway.

But, you misspelled your name at the bottom of your message.

So, for doing that . . you are a douchebag!

Congratulations!!!!
You now join a very elite group of members at DU, including trumad, Will Pitt, and I believe even Skinner is an honorary member.

[left on green only]

15. Just my Interpretation, but.....

......from all of the information I could find that was contained in the various news accounts of the story, the couple admitted to making the verbal homophobic slur to the waitress (Dan vs Dayna), only they denied that it was homophobic. Then, it looks to me like the waitress, for her part, doctored the receipt to make it appear that no tip was left, and that an *additional* homophobic slur (this one having been written) was included on the receipt.

Methinks that all of the players in this little drama deserve one another. Kind of like watching Rush Limpbrain and Ann Coulter go after each other.

[LoisB]

16. As far as I'm concerned no apology needed but very gracious of you to offer it.

Thank you for having so much class.

[Skittles]

17. something is off about that whole story

it's easy to see why people were duped because it would be so easily disproved if it wasn't true - I'm guessing perhaps some sort of mental health issue?

[penultimate]

72. That seems like it may be the case... People who claim to know her are saying she

has a history of making up stories. I'm kinda knew to this internet thing though, so I'm not sure if I should believe everything on it.

I was skeptical about this particular story from the start. But that was mostly 'cause I got fooled by that one "get a real job" receipt a ways back.

[Little Star]

18. Which ever party lied about this story are the ones who should apologize....

certainly not you William.

I believed the first account 100% because it does happen/has happened to others. Right now we don't know what the actual truth is about this one instance and maybe we won't ever know.

You just keep up the good fight because it needs to be fought every time it rears its ugly head!

[hrmjustin]

19. Was not your fault Bill.

[rrneck]

21. You're very kind but don't sweat it.

Nothing to apologize for.

[Ratty]

22. These fake receipt claims have been circulating on the web for a little while

I've seen enough to be suspicious of new ones but if this one was your first how were you to know? It's like those funny church bulletin boards, after the first real one people started believing all of the fake ones that popped up.

[Jesus Malverde]

23. Interesting thread, thanks for linking to it...nt

[closeupready]

24. No, you did nothing wrong. I believed the story, too.

As you and I know, we gay people have to give other members of our community the automatic benefit of the doubt, since GLBT people fight a soul-crushingly difficult battle in American society, and have probably since its inception.

So IMO, you actually did the RIGHT thing by believing the story on the face of it, and sharing it here.

[nolabear]

25. No need. If the family version is right we all were duped.

You'd like to think such important matters wouldn't be subject to such mistreatment but for whatever reason they sometimes are. Good of you to post this though.

[Ikonoklast]

27. Dude, seems you were also the victim of a scammer. Don't sweat it one bit.

The sad part is that it was believeable.

[BlueJazz]

28. So you've destroyed my whole life and NOW....out of the blue, you come crawling...

...back to me wanting me to forgive and forget and...ah...what was it you did again..??

[Sissyk]

67. I have to tell you, BlueJazz!

The more I read you, the more I fall I'm love with you. And, I'm happily married. Lol!

Please don't take that the wrong way.

[BlueJazz]

70. Thank you...That's a very nice thing to say. Made my day

[azurnoir]

29. Nothing to apologize for the story was sadly believable

that it may not have been true is actually less believable than the original story was

[AtheistCrusader]

30. Correcting the record is 'apology' enough.

Because you don't owe an apology for relaying a news piece. You didn't make it up.

[marble falls]

31. Still not entirelly clear what or how it happened. No problems.

[seabeyond]

32. thanks for putting it up. i hear what you are saying. just a bummer that it happens. and ya....

doesnt mean it is not out there, loud, clear and strong.

[tblue]

33. Who didn't fall for it?

No apology necessary, sweetie. What a dumb trick that person played on us all. Very hurtful too to those customers who did leave a nice tip.

[etherealtruth]

34. As others have said ... you posted the original in good faith

Those that appear to have lied should be ashamed

[mdbl]

35. Where is this evidence of it being a hoax?

I just saw the lamest news report on USAToday.com that says a couple who will remain "anonymous" claimed to have left an $18 tip on a 93.00 bill. During this whole interview, no evidence of the actual receipt was produced. WTF? Has anyone seen this couple? Do they usually love diversity in their lives? The whole thing sounds fishy to me either way.

[William769]

36. The evidence is here.

http://gothamist.com/2013/11/26/family_we_didnt_stiff_gay_waitress.php#photo-3

I don't know how they could fake their credit card bill.

[mdbl]

40. Thanks for that link.

I guess I'll hold off judgement now.

[ieoeja]

41. How could they fake writing one thing on one piece of paper and something else on another?

You have two completely different pieces of paper. Write one thing on one, and another on the other. It couldn't be simpler.


You don't see any signature on the Customer Copy, do you? That is because it is not a photocopy of the final Merchant Copy after the signature, etc. It is a separate print out detailing the bill. If they want the tip on their copy, they have to write it on there.

They would have had to write everything on both copies for both copies to match. And why would they have done that?

So they could have written the first statement on the Merchant Copy. Save their receipt for later accounting. When the story comes out, dig out the receipt and write in a tip on their copy.

[William769]

42. It's not about the receipt anymore, it's about the credit card statement.

[Glassunion]

46. The total of the bill was 93.55, their card was charged and additional $18.00 (19.24%) as per

their credit card statement. Which would be a nice tip.

Also, the handwriting between the two is completely different, the customer copy appears to be a lefty and the merchant copy a righty. So a different person wrote on each one.

[William769]

37. Thanks all who responded.

I don't want to clutter up the thread and answer everyone So I will say here thank you all for your kind words.

[OmahaBlueDog]

38. You do not owe DU an apology

You brought to our attention a news story that was widely reported through credible media sources.

Nor do I see any need for you to be ashamed. You did nothing wrong.

I would pose this question to you or anyone who cares to answer: given that there are many instances of large and small expressions of bigotry toward LGBTQIA persons, why have we see instances such as this and the Charlie Rogers incident in Lincoln, NE?

[closeupready]

45. To be a little bit flippant, the term 'drama queen' can refer to

just about anyone - you don't need to be gay, you don't need to be female.

In this story, it appears she was both; nonetheless, there are lots of stories about people making up stories about being persecuted - Tawana Brawley; that woman in Washington in the made-up acid attack from two years ago; the Parlock incident. I'm sure the examples are quite common.

[Skittles]

51. my cat is a HUGE drama queen

yes INDEED

[TeeYiYi]

57. Don't forget the persecuted republican...

TYY

[closeupready]

58. Right, lol, I remember that story.

[Starry Messenger]

39. Who knows how this might end up?

You don't need to apologize at all. The sad thing about our country is that a story like this is totally believable.

[REP]

43. No you don't; you posted a news article in good faith.

[petronius]

44. I don't see why you would - every current event we discuss here is based

on current knowledge, and every thread has that implied disclaimer. This would be a horribly quiet place if we had to wait for perfect data on every topic.

Nothing you said then was wrong, based on what we knew then. If you have different ideas now, based on new info, then that's the mark of a thoughtful and reasonable observer, not something to apologize for...

[pnwmom]

49. An update is always good. An apology is completely unnecessary.

Most of us were taken in by those people, too.

[Ken Burch]

50. If it turns out not to be true, you couldn't have known.

It's no crime to be vigilant about these things.

Thank you for one of the most gracious OP's of the year, though.

[JI7]

53. you are not the one at fault here

you were lied to

[Kaleva]

54. No need to apologise.

Kudos to you for posting an update to the story.

[Texasgal]

55. William..

Why the apology? This is something that could have very well happened!

Thank you for fighting bigotry! We all need to. No apology needed. EVER.

[William769]

59. I was very aggressive in my feelings when this was originally posted.

I just could not fathom that it didn't happen and aggressively defended this incident.

Turns out I was duped and I wanted this out there up front than just hoping it would disappear. Thats not me.

I also want the truth no matter what. I believe that the people who read my post like about me the most and I would not want to let them down. I appreciate you and everyone else's comments.

[idwiyo]

60. You have NOTHING to apologise for. Not one damn thing.

[winter is coming]

61. Not your fault, but do you feel guilty enough to bring brownies for everyone?

[William769]

63. I hope this is enough.

[winter is coming]

65. That'll do for me, but did you bring enough for the entire class?

[William769]

66. LOL!

[Sissyk]

62. William, there is no need to apologize.

However, thank you. I also believed the story. You know why? Yes, you do. Because there is so much hate and bigotry for our gay brothers and sisters out there.

[William769]

64. Agreed and thank you.

[Sissyk]

69. You are welcome, my brother! N/t

[Fumesucker]

68. Your reaction was entirely natural and understandable

You felt a member of your "tribe" had been treated shabbily and responded to protect and defend them.

That the incident turns out to be possibly false or greatly exaggerated is no fault of yours.

[Dr. Strange]

71. Nothing wrong with posting that thread, as long as you didn't attack anyone who was skeptical.

[penultimate]

73. You probably have nothing to apologize for...

You didn't lie or knowingly do anything to advance the lie... The only possible reason why anyone not related to it would have any reason to apologize is if they attacked/insulted someone who was skeptical of it. Although, based on this post here, I'm guessing you're not one of those type of people who take things personally and go straight for the unproductive snark.


And it's still not 100% exactly what happened. I think it looks bad for the waitress, but there could be other possibilities too.

[maced666]

74. You most certainly do not - this girl is a PRO-“Every story she comes up with has a lie,”

snip-They said she also told co-workers at a day care center where she once worked that Superstorm Sandy severely damaged her home in Stony Point, and sent a boat into her living room. Concerned co-workers dropped by her home and found only minor damage to the carpet by her front door and no sign of a boat, they said.
“Every story she comes up with has a lie,” said Julie Howat, 23, of Pomona.
http://www.lohud.com/article/20131126/NEWS/311260034/Waitress-tip-tale-former-Stony-Point-resident-lies-about-everything-former-co-workers-friends-say?nclick_check=1

She lies - about this, and apparently everything else. I once knew a guy like this in school, just did it for no apparent reason.

On any scale by any reference your reaction shows heart and caring - what is there to apologize about that?! Shame also lies with her, not with those lied to.