I don't get into these much, but it was NOT sexual harassment!

[nolabear]

Look, I understand the fears of those who have been sexually harassed and tormented. I am among them. I understand that the idea of unwanted contact between two kids can bring up all kinds of worries and speculation and generalization to what might happen in the future. But I also have seen a whole lot of kids in therapy, I have studied child development for a long time, and a six year old boy, unless he suffers from a very rare and specific subset of physical and symptomatically psychological conditions (very, very early sexual maturity combined with inappropriate sexual knowledge or contact) is not capable of what we adults think of as sexual harassment.

Six year olds -normal six year olds- can be sexually curious, but even that is different from adult sexuality. We once called it "playing doctor." Straight six year old boys or girls can engage in touch with kids of the same sex, boys and girls can act out of curiosity and imagination, and even out of some exposure, accidental or otherwise, to adult sex. It doesn't mean the same thing to them. They don't know where babies come from even after they've been TOLD where babies come from, because they have no hormonally driven sexual responses, no adult conception of erection and penetration, and they think magically. Sexual harassment as we adults identify it is predicated on adult thoughts, ideas, fears, aggressions, etc. that six year olds do not possess.

Was he acting out and does he need to be worked with in order to help him curtail his aggressive pursuit of the little girl and learn what is and is not acceptable to others? You bet. But even if he pulled his willie in class, dropped his pants and waggled it around, it would not be the same thing as if someone, say, ten or older did it. Even ten is a bit of a stretch, but it's not as utterly unlikely.

Children's brains are not developed. They do not think or respond the way adults do. Give that little guy a break. Concentrating on this may stand in the way of him getting the actual help to control his impulses that he needs. The thing that stands to cause the most trouble is this whole thing getting so much attention and him being saddled with it. He may end up paying for the anger and fear of the supposed adults around him (possibly including his mother, but that's a whole other story).

[Old Codger]

1. These inane things

Show that the inmates are definitely running the asylum... there is no "intent" involved here he was doing something that was absolutely honest and normal.

[seabeyond]

14. no he was not. amybe at first. but being repeatedly told to knock it off, took it beyond the

"normal"

[Old Codger]

40. Maybe beyond

"Normal" for a large part of society, BUT nothing sexual involved...Young boys are pretty much known for doing a lot of things they are told repeatedly not to do and doing them anyways...

[seabeyond]

43. i have raised young boys. i am well aware of young boys behavior. one boy stopped. did not get

reinforcement validating the behavior from his parents. they supported the teacher. you have one boy that refused to stop the behavior. that would be the boy that mom validated his inappropriate behavior. not a stretch figuring this out

[nolabear]

65. You might be correct, I don't know. But my point was a different one.

I confess I don't know if the mother thought the whole idea of her son misbehaving was invalid, but the label of sexual harassment doesn't fit.

[seabeyond]

75. they did not label the child with sexual harassment. it went into a file that was

only for administration to see. it was alongside an issue with previous rough housing, and disciplinary action. yes.... they picked up the adult word of sexual harassment to convey the issue. it was harassment. and it was of a sexual means. but they did not label this kid with it. that talked to the kid in an age appropriate manner about boundaries and inappropriate touching.

it was documented information for administrative use. it is not to label the kid, follow the kid, define the kid. they should have just spelled out the inappropriate behavior.

it was the mom that told media and her child that he was charged with sexual harassment.

[nolabear]

78. I'm not aiming the OP at "them". I'm aiming it at the idea altogether that it was sexual.

I don't know his mother's motivation or her psychological state. I do know DU has been in a large scale war of words over whether the little boy sexually harassed the little girl and I come down on the side of 'No." I wanted my reasons for that to be part of the discussion.

[seabeyond]

80. i think they wanted to differentiate it from the other disciplinary behavior that is my point.

i do not think they in any way intended it to come off as you see the more grown up definition of sexual. it was sex in a manner by being kissing and touching. i think that is as far as it went. not giving the kid something it was not.

[nolabear]

82. Well, can we find middle ground? Different terms?

What we need, probably, is a well seasoned teacher who's had to invent language for the classroom that satisfies legalities and that administrators, teachers, parents and kids all agree on. If it was me I'd go toward "Unwelcome physical interaction" or "Unwanted aggressive physical contact."

Would that be accurate?

[seabeyond]

84. you know, that just was not a big deal to me. that is fine. spelling it out is fine. having a

problem with the word i get. to me, i do not see it the same way, but that is irrelevant for me with this issue. my issue is the boy. how he is not getting what he needs. i have a problem the continuous attack on schools and teachers when i have spent watching two decades teachers working their ass off, fighting for the kids, without parental help. watching the children who did not get the parental guidance and now older, struggling to make it thru life. figure it out now.

i have very little patience for that. my focus is on the kid and what he needs.

i do nto think that would have been a problem at all, but the mom gave that word to the kid. as a parent i would not have cared it was in the file but no way in hell would i have handed it to my kid.

see?

be bothered, change the wording. none of that is my issue with all this

duers saying just being a boy. not addressing the girl. attacking the teachers. that was my problem.

[pnwmom]

66. The word "sexual harassment" doesn't imply that

the boy had a sexual motive.

It refers to the actions that are taken without the consent of the other person. Kissing a girl repeatedly -- when you wouldn't do the same thing to a boy -- is harassment based on her gender. So I understand why the school -- at first -- used that term. But they've changed it to "misconduct."

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/12/12/us/six-year-old-kissing-girl-suspension/

The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.
"I've had to coach her about what to do when you don't want someone touching you, but they won't stop," Masters-Ownbey told the newspaper.

[CSStrowbridge]

73. This is the second time...

This is the second time this boy has been suspended and he's only in grade one. He clearly has behavioral issues.

[seabeyond]

77. yes. it could be because the adults around him, like those on the board are too busy going after the

teachers and the "feminists" instead of addressing the boy and his behavior. and a bogus argument at that.

[Dr Hobbitstein]

91. Sea, we've gotten into a few tiffs in my short time on this board...

But on this issue, I agree with you 100%. No means no, and the kid should know better. Even at that age.

[seabeyond]

92. huh. and see. i do not remember any tiffs, lol.

they come and go. what i disagree with there, i can easily agree here. good to know.

[Dr Hobbitstein]

93. Meh, I don't argue that pasionately to be memorable,

but we definitely got into a few arguments on this board. Had to do with the last "exciting" topic on this board, but this was about a year or so ago.

[seabeyond]

95. ah... well. i kinda figure about what subject. pretty hard liner without a lot of leeway. that

is for sure.

not that i have a problem with that. i am pretty ok with it. l)

[seabeyond]

96. oh oh oh. and a year? i am getting old. a year is a really long time ago. lol. i try to keep

track of yesterday.

[lostincalifornia]

101. Maybe, maybe not. Do you know what the male child had been exposed to? There could be influences

none of us are aware of, including exposure to pornography or other things that may have formed in his mind as acceptable.

That does not mean it wasn't innocent, however, repeated actions on perhaps inappropriate behavior need to be addressed

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I so agree, my dear nolabear. n/t

[malaise]

3. Excellent post

Rec

[polly7]

4. Very well said, nolabear. nt.

[yellerpup]

5. The cool voice of reason.

Great post. K&R!

[dballance]

6. Good post

I distinctly remember having two "girlfriends" in first grade and kissing them on the cheek. it wasn't sexual harassment, it was kid stuff. Imitating adults without the slightest clue what we were doing.

[mercuryblues]

98. Did they

welcome the kiss? This girl didn't. The kid kissed over and over, despite being told not to. This was his 2nd suspension, in 1st grade for his behavior.

The girl's mother had to teach her daughter how to restrict her behavior to avoid the boy. The boy still harassed her. Would you feel differently if the boy was hitting her instead of kissing? The girl wants nothing to do with the boy. the boy keeps kissing and touching her, he won't stop. Whatever his mother is doing to stop this, isn't working. I suspect that the mother also thinks this is cute, you because she calls the little girl, his "girlfriend" and "she wanted it". Despite the fact that she knows that the little girl does not the touching.

If he shouldn't taught this lesson at 6 years old, what age should he be taught that kissing and touching people when they tell you no is not OK?

[Douglas Carpenter]

7. bad behavior-needing correction and discipline - I agree - but it is cuckoo to refer to a 6 year-old

as engaging in "sexual harassment." I feel embarrassed for DU when I see that kind of crazy talk here.

[1000words]

8. Thankfully, most understand that and the hair on fire brigade are a very small minority

Good post. DU Rec

[seabeyond]

15. fire brigade? you were one of the ones yelling sexual predator. we were saying just what the OP is

saying.

geeez.

[Gemini Cat]

9. Thank you!

Finally, a rational response to kids being kids. They need to be taught on what is or what is not exceptable behaviour, not punished.

[Rex]

10. Since a six year old would not be able to comprehend what 'sexual harrasment' means

I tend to agree with you.

[Katashi_itto]

11. Well spoken. We have an increasing amount of maniacs on DU

[whttevrr]

12. Sexual harassment is not about intent.

It is about consent.

The key determining factor in sexual harassment is unwelcomed behavior; notification of that behavior not being welcomed; and the refusal to stop the unwanted behavior.

Should a six year old kid be labelled for life because of that behavior? No, not at all. Should we ignore the reality of his actions? No.

It is what it is. It is a definition. The definition is defined by the behavior being unwelcomed. It is pretty straightforward. The definition of sexual harassment is not defined by the intent of the person acting; it is defined by the unwelcome behavior being acted upon the person who does not welcome it.

It's a fairly simple concept. And it has nothing to do with intent. It is about consent.

[Rex]

16. I would say this is a minor isolated incident.

And it looks like the school district agrees with me.

[pnwmom]

19. The mother said it was multiple incidents

and that another boy had at first been involved, too. And when they were told to stop, the other boy did -- but not this boy.

[Rex]

23. Well maybe the district can now give a class on bullying

or what harassment is. Start with the simple things since they are 6 year old children. The school cannot force good parenting.

[pnwmom]

51. Good idea. This does seem like a form of bullying.

I know when this happened to my daughter in elementary school, she felt like it was bullying. Like the boy was doing it for laughs.

[Rex]

58. As opposed to a 14 year old teenager, who would understand

or perhaps be on the verge of understanding what sexual harassment is in its totality. Obviously the young boy was harassing or bullying the girl, but his mom was giving him validation on his bad behavior so I can see why he continued to do so. Even after so many warnings by the school.

Me personally at 6, if I had to pick allegiance between mom and my school...it would always be mom or dad hands down. Of course I was extremely shy and did not crave attention in elementary school.

[pnwmom]

18. You are right. Whether this is sexual harassment

does not depend on the boy's sexual development.

It does sound as if it could qualify. He was repeatedly harassing the girl, and with actions he wouldn't have taken (kissing) if she were a boy. He and the other boy had been asked repeatedly to stop, and the other boy did.

You're also right that it doesn't belong on his permanent record. But he needs to learn not to bother people who don't want his attentions.

Something like this happened to my daughter, with a boy who was pretending to be enamored of her. The adults thought it was cute, but my daughter found it deeply disturbing. And thinking back, I think the boy was doing it for attention -- my daughter's and also the attention of the laughing adults.

[Sheldon Cooper]

29. I think it's about welcomed vs unwelcomed behavior.

If you have an all male machine shop and there are pictures of playboy bunnies on the wall and none of them are bothered by it, then it's not sexual harassment. If they hire a woman for some position in the plant, and she objects, then it becomes sexual harassment because it creates a hostile work environment. And that's if they refuse to take the pictures down in spite of her objections. If she complains and they take the pictures down, problem solved.

That's how I understand it.

[nolabear]

67. I disagree. Sexual harassment has to have an element of sex about it. Assault is closer.

And no, I don't think it was assault. I can poke someone in the nose and that would be unwelcome behavior. The adults are the ones labeling the kiss sexual.

If you were a woman in a country where you could be stoned to death for uncovering your face because it was considered sexual and an assault upon those who thought they were being driven to impure thoughts, and you weren't aware of that fact, would it be fair to stone you?

Harassment, okay. Sexual, no.

[seabeyond]

13. i think that is pretty much what we have all been saying. none of this is new. people wanting to

make the discussion into something it is not, is the issue. but, this has been pointed out over and over and over.

because they used the word sexual harassment, i think was more for the adult understanding, not a label on the kid. it is a boundary issue that was ignored by the parent leaving the school to have to continually escalate punishment before the parent even thought to maybe think about the issue. though i have my doubts since she went to the paper and fabricated a story.

appreciate your post. but i do not think there are any arguing that are not already aware of this.

[seabeyond]

17. and something else. not only was that little guy getting a break, the little guy was not even

responsible in my opinion and as i have stated repeatedly. he was being told to stop by the school, and getting reinforcement from his mother. how could he figure it out.

you created an argument that was not happening. now the men that went around yelling sexual predator, send him to jail. he was just being a boy. and not a single word about boundaries are patting you on the back for making our argument.

isnt that fuckin' special.

[Rex]

21. At 6, I would be doing what mom told me was the right thing.

In this case the wrong thing, but at 6 he cannot be expected reasonably to understand what sexual harassment is. Maybe harassment or bullying...yes I can see that. IMO, it is like you said the term was used for adult to understand the brevity of the situation and MOST did not agree with it.

Maybe the district can now give a class on harassment, start with simple concepts they are only 6 fer Christs sake!

[seabeyond]

27. they did not tell him he was sexually harassing. the talked to him about boundaries and

inappropriate touching. like you would talk to a 6 yr old boy.

they used the word sexually harassed to document the discipline as they choose horseplay to document other disruptive behavior. that documentation is for future reference, if disruptive behavior continues or arises in the future. it is not a label. it is not following him around. he was not told about it. the mother choose to let everyone know about it. they could have written the infractions out. but it seems like they simple took the adult word of what happened since that was purely for their... adult use. no one elses business.

[Rex]

33. Did not know it was the mom that caused all the attention.

I guess she thought everyone would agree with her. I have no doubt he was very confused getting conflicting behavior from the adults in his life.

[seabeyond]

35. exactly. and that has been my beef. i am so fuckin all over protecting this kid and defending the

kid. understanding the development of kids and what he needs and how the mom totally failed him. and it so pisses me off to be told i am abusing this kid saying shit that wasnt said. when others are dismissing his before JUST LIKE THE MOM DID.

they are in this thread, applauding the OP. when we women, being attacked, are the ones that were repeatedly saying what this OP is saying

and called man haters

as i am defending the boy

[HappyMe]

20. Very well said.

A councilor at the school could have handled this quietly without this 'sexual harassment' label being slapped on a 6 year old.

I wonder - if it was a little girl kissing a boy would the reaction have been as vociferous.

[seabeyond]

24. the school took the steps. talking to. time out. in school detention. then an out of school

suspension. the parent did not take it serous. she validated the sons behavior, dismissing what the teachers said. the other little boy that was addressed stopped the behavior.

the school handled it quietly. the mom of the little boys that got a suspension because he would not stop the behavior took it to press. said the boy did nothing wrong. the girl wanted the attention. they were bf and gf. that is not true.

[quinnox]

22. Indeed, its another example of a bizarre fringey group not understanding their weird

ideas are not what most normal people think about stuff like this. I think some of these people need to get out in the real world once in a while. The corners of the internet give a false sense of reality.

[seabeyond]

25. that would be the number of men that continually said it was boys being boys and no action should

have been taken, right?

[quinnox]

26. Nope

*Losing Buzzer sound from The Price is Right*

[seabeyond]

30. bizarre fringey group not understanding their weird ideas are not what most normal people think

what would this be. give me an example. you put the insult out. back it up

[LanternWaste]

38. I used to minimize and trivialize people and groups by name calling when they didn't support my poin

I used to minimize and trivialize people and groups by name calling when they didn't support my points of view too. Eventually however, I outgrew grade-school petulance and grew up.

Good luck in your continuing education, though!!!

[DisgustipatedinCA]

50. .......aaaaand, you just started your old habit back up.

When you imply that someone is displaying grade school-level petulance, you're name-calling. I don't really care--Quinnox can take care of him/herself, but you are engaging in that which you're also inveighing against.

[1000words]

60. +1

[JI7]

105. so the girl is not normal for not wanting the kid to kiss and control her ?

[gollygee]

28. I think the only disagreement is whether the term "sexual harassment" makes sense

Everyone agrees that what he did - repeated unwanted kissing and not letting her play with other kids - needs some kind of discipline, at least I think everyone agrees about that.

I am among those who feel like the term "sexual harassment" should be reserved for people with more mature sexual impulses. But I do understand that he did harass her.

It seems like there are people throwing out childish barbs suggesting that people want him arrested or charged or put on a sexual offender list or whatever. (I even saw a post that included a comparison that we wouldn't euthanize a dog who did this - but quite obviously no one had talked about euthanasia.)

No one has discussed placing him on a sex offender list. No one has suggested that he is a sexual predator. Even those who think the term "sexual harassment" makes sense feel that way because it explains the idea that there is a crush involved and he's harassing her because she's a girl. Not because it's the same as adult sexual harassment.

This conversation is so off the deep end. It's stopped having anything to do with that 6-year-old kid. It's just become, for a lot of people, an opportunity to attack feminists and the concept of sexual harassment in general.

[seabeyond]

32. not everyone agrees it needed discipline. a lot of men insisted nothing should be done.

it was normal. boys being boys. regardless how many steps the teachers took and the girl said no.

[gollygee]

34. Did they?

Did they say they understood it was repeated kissing and keeping her playing with friends and that they thought that was OK? I think some people just read the one article that just had the little boy's mom (whom I think is the real problem here) and based their opinion on that and were having so much fun freaking out they didn't bother to read anything else.

[seabeyond]

37. it did not matter how many times it was drawn out for them. sexual predator, they yelled.

send him to jail. sex offender list.

yes, that would be dismissing the behavior. the very problem the kid faced with the contradictive message the school was giving him, vs the validation of behavior from the mom.

[gollygee]

39. I guess I'd like them to specify

Whether:

1. They understand that this was repeated unwanted kissing, and keeping her from playing with other kids, and that he'd been told not to do it repeatedly;

and

2. They think he should receive any kind of discipline at all for #1.

I think they just started dismissing anything anyone said to bash feminists. Like they do in a lot of threads. I didn't read anything where they actually acknowledged that they understood exactly what he did and that, understanding what he did, they felt it was OK. I think they moved off the real discussion and into a game of "bait the feminists" as usual.

[seabeyond]

45. which this thread only reinforced. allowing them to come in and talk about reasonable, when it is

nothing we did not say repeatedly in the threads.

i am not going to specifically go thru and hunt it out. but yes. i clarified and they reinforced the belief the boy was picked on. you can see in the title subject the men that held firm, regardless of the facts.

[gollygee]

53. OK well I've started a thread asking my questions

I want to hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

[seabeyond]

56. go at it haus. i am tired of totally fabricated arguments created to diss women. in absurdity.

have proof of anything i said in any of those threads to be extreme, bring it on. i will put up my child development knowledge against anyone else. anytime. i am always on the side of the child. always. especially at 6 when they are so dependent on us having their best interest. and not really gonna put up with anyone telling me i am abusing a child in any way.

repulsive to me

[gollygee]

57. the threads have been really repulsive

No one has called the little boy a sexual offender, or whatever people have said. I think we're pretty unanimous that the problem is his mom, not him. With boundaries, he would be fine and it would never have gotten to this point.

[seabeyond]

59. i think many of us talked endlessly about a parents job teaching kids boundaries and reinforcing

what the school is saying. i do not think a lot of the other people gave it a moments consideration. being right there with the mom that allowed the behavior, encourage the behavior to escalate by her lack of parenting.

[1awake]

69. I believe the boy needed/needs addressed

to include consequences ranging from detention/suspension/counseling (a class or two at least) etc. What I do not agree with is having a piece of paper for however short or long in his file labeling him as a sexual harasser at age 6. It is ridiculous to the extreme.

I agree this is a parenting issue, or became one soon after the first or second issue (bullying). The boy, and I'm fairly confident he doesn't realize it... was bullying this little girl, and it needs addressed.

[seabeyond]

79. i could go with the post. i, as a mother of sons,

would not be outraged if they used that to define a particular behavior and it sat in the file. i would not be concerned it was about defining the boy. i would not have flipped out about it. and i would NOT have given it to my son. but, i get that they could have chosen a different way of communicating it in the files. spell the poor behavior out. they did a quick jot using an adult word. i see it no more than that.

[1awake]

81. I would have issues with it

like I would have issues with a little girl/boy who stole french fries off of another child's lunch tray and having it written up as Larceny. It's inaccurate and over the top.

In actuality, I think we are on the same page minus the perceived weight of the words used. I do not think anyone should be doing a quick jot in anyone's file with words like they apparently did in this case. As a parent of both boys and girls, I would never really trust the staff at this school again.

[seabeyond]

85. and as a parent of 2 almost thru the system, i would so trust the schools. i have yet to find a

teacher or a school that i felt they were after my kid or out to get him or wanted anything but the best for them. i have been such a part of the system while my kids were going thru. recently my youngest has not been doing well. 10th grade. i emailed the teachers and all of them, hands down worked with me and communicated with me. we arrived at solutions that were the best for my son.

that kid should not have gotten to the point of inside detention at the school, let alone the outside suspension and jot in his files. the parent failed her son.

but....

lets get back to where we pretty much agree with most, not all.

[1awake]

88. Yes sir/ma'am, agreed. Have a good day! n/t

[seabeyond]

89. lol. a real pleasure to both agree and disagree respectfully. thank you. that is refreshing. nt

[nolabear]

68. I hope you don't think I was doing that. I certainly believe sexual harassment happens.

And that it's a terrible, and terrifying problem both for the harassed, who know it is, and for the harasser, who sometimes can be oddly clueless as to how much harm it does him or her as well.

He did harass her, in problematic six year old fashion. And that poor little guy is in way over his head unless it gets reined back into an appropriate arena for dealing with overly aggressive six year olds.

[phil89]

31. Well

What are your credentials? Are you a child psychiatrist? Not trying to be rude, I'm genuinely asking.

And your statement:"unless he suffers from a very rare and specific subset of physical and symptomatically psychological conditions "
Do we know he doesn't have this condition? From what his mother said it sounds like this is not an isolated incident.

[nolabear]

70. I do have credentials and work with many a child psychiatrist.

And while I can't swear he doesn't have this rare condition I referred to, he doesn't fit any of the physical parameters. If anything he appears, and I say this only from having seen, heard and watched his behavior on television, somewhat physiologically young for his age. I have no idea what he might have been exposed to psychologically. But a kiss on the hand, even an unwanted one, wouldn't raise sexual red flags for me unless there were a whole lot of other things going on too.

(Btw I don't quote a lot on credentials because of the public nature of DU. I'd be happy to backchannel)

[seabeyond]

87. but it was mroe than a kiss on the hand, you understadn that right? this is where the real battle

ended up on du. so many men wanted to keep it at merely a kiss on the hand. how can we be bothered. but... that was not the issue. it was kiss on mouth, face, unexpectedly, continuously, corralling her stopping her from playing.

jsut want to make sure we are on the same page.

[nolabear]

97. I don't think we are. But at this point I don't think we can be.

I don't think it was a men-women dichotomy. And I don't think it was sexual. Any of those times. That's the page I'm on.

[LanternWaste]

36. At six, when I was told by parents and educators not to do thing, I would stop doing it.

At six, when I was instructed by parents and educators not to do thing, I would stop doing it. Even though my brain was not fully developed, it was developed enough to know better once told...

[Courtesy Flush]

76. That's the kind of logic I expect from conservatives. Not on DU

I see this exact kind of response from right wingers all the time. "I had this experience, and this result, therefore I demand the same thing from everyone."

"I worked hard and got ahead!" is their favorite. They conclude that anyone who didn't get ahead must not have worked hard.

So you were a well-behaved child. That's great. It really is. But to proclaim that your experience must be the same for everyone is not logical. Some kids just don't listen. Surely you're aware of that.

You listened to adults, the kid in the news didn't listen. Does not add up to sexual harassment.

[LittleBlue]

41. Same here. I've barely followed this case but it just sounds

like school administration being overzealous and correcting themselves after an outpouring from the public. Never seen a boy that bold before, must have been born without a filter or something. Like most childish behaviors, he'll probably grow out of it.

That last thread was a hilarious shit show. I sincerely hope lurkers realize that DU attracts fringe opinions, and that most of us do possess some measure of common sense. The smiley is getting plenty of use these days.

[seabeyond]

47. "Like most childish behaviors, he'll probably grow out of it.""administration being overzealous"

kinda like the mom that didnt address the issue either, cause she did not think it a big deal, leaving the school to be all this "overzealous", you think?

[LittleBlue]

63. Meh

Throw him in detention instead of recess. Enough times and he'll get the message.

Sex harassment claims just make the school look idiotic.

[Blue_In_AK]

42. This is exactly how I see it.

[zentrum]

44. Agree Completely.

It was harassment. Not sexual harassment. He really doesn't understand the meaning adults are imposing on his behavior.

And meantime, some one needs to look into what's going in this little boy's life that he won't curb his aggression.

I speak as a person who was subjected to this kind of thing when I was a young girl, from elementary to high school, and as a mother of girls to whom it happened.

Both kids in this equation need to be helped and helped differently.

To call this sexual harassment is no different than the kind of projective thinking that pedophiles use--when they say "the child was acting seductive".

[Rex]

48. +1

I wish I could recommend your reply. The district also needs to look at its anti-bullying program (if it has one) and make sure it applies to all grades.

[seabeyond]

49. the school didnt give the kid sexual harassment. they talked to him in age appropriate language.

they used the word, an adult word in documenting the disruptive behavior distinguishing from the rough housing already in the file

[MissMillie]

46. Boundaries

No one should be punished for being curious.

But there are lessons to be learned about boundaries, and I'm not convinced that the age of 6 is too young to start.

[seabeyond]

52. we start teaching boundaries way before 6. nt

[MissMillie]

62. one would hope so

Maybe the learning curve on this kid is a little steep

[seabeyond]

64. or from what we can see, the mother doesnt seem to think it is her job to teach it to her son. nt

[fleabiscuit]

54. Reminds me of something...

Let's make sure all 6 year old's wear their proper label of "Jew," "Christian," or "Muslim," shall we?

[gollygee]

55. What?

What does that have to do with anything?

[fleabiscuit]

61. Exactly, it's "us."

[Sheldon Cooper]

72. lol

[nolabear]

71. I don't understand that. Can you explain?

[fleabiscuit]

90. You sound pretty much spot on to me.

It was a reference to what I heard Richard Dawkins say about giving children their appropriate religious label according to how they look, where they live, etc, at an age where they don’t even know what it means. It's US.

[nolabear]

99. Ah, gotcha. Thanks for clarifying.

[Warpy]

74. Thank you! A six year old kid is NOT an adult!

This could have been handled so much better and without either a suspension or national attention. The whole business has shown how insanely phobic schools have become about normal childhood behavior--and this is normal, like it or not.

[magical thyme]

83. Exactly. Extremely well said. Thank you.

He need to learn to respect boundaries and accept "no" for an answer.

[bluesbassman]

86. Nice assessment of the issue nolabear.

One thing people sometimes overlook is that not every child develops at the same rate. There could also be some developmental issues involved with this child in his ability to comprehend boundaries and behavior modification.

[liberal_at_heart]

94. It was repeated unwanted touching that made the little girl uncomfortable. It was sexual harassment.

The school took appropriate action, and I hope he learns to behave better.

[nolabear]

100. Okay.

Can't go any further.

[lumberjack_jeff]

102. Calling the behavior of first graders "sexual harassment" diminishes the term.

"What is the appropriate punishment for sexual harassment?" If your answer to that question is always inappropriate for a 6 year old then the terminology shouldn't apply.

[nadinbrzezinski]

103. And it is right at the cusp of the cooties stage

which children go through around the world, regardless of culture.

Sexual harassment it was not. Perhaps not appropriate, as he was told not to do it once already, but harassment not really

As a society I think we over react to a lot of shit anymore, and not react enough to shit we should react to.

[Vashta Nerada]

104. Shhhhh. Don't be saying logical things like that 'round here!

[Agschmid]

106. Yup.