'You are married to the Lord and your daddy is your boyfriend':

[Beacool]

Purity balls, in which girls 'gift their virginity' to their fathers until marriage, sweeping America





Purity balls, in which a girl pledges to remain ‘pure’ until her wedding day, symbolically ‘marries’ God, and promises her father that she will remain a virgin until she's a wife, have become a phenomenon in America, now taking place in 48 out of the 50 states.

The balls resemble giant wedding ceremonies, with the girls - all around the age of 12 - wearing white gowns and dancing with their fathers who promise to ‘protect’ their daughter’s chastity.

During the ceremony, fathers present their daughters with purity rings, which they wear to symbolize their commitment to virginity.

In the movement purity means no sexual contact of any kind, including kisses, until after marriage.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2586036/You-married-Lord-daddy-boyfriend-Purity-Balls-girls-gift-virginity-fathers-marriage-sweep-America.html#comments

This is soooo creepy at so many levels. First, girls are not property to be passed on from fathers to husbands. What century are we in? Second, the dad is their "boyfriend"???? I find the effort to control the lives of these children so offensive, I feel sorry for them. I hope that as they get a bit older they rebel and tell their dads that they'll get their own boyfriends, thank you very much.

[LittleBlue]

1. "Daddy is your boyfriend"

Ewwww. So wrong.

[Whisp]

7. so cheating on god and having a boyfriend on the side is ok?

anyway, what a disgusting thing. oiy.
this is taliban shit. or maybe not - maybe it's a lot worse.

[Beacool]

14. It's creepy and disgusting.

[Control-Z]

111. Being Atheist

I find the second pic, with the girls carrying that giant cross-thing, creepy and disgusting. But it doesn't come close to giving me the sick feeling I get looking at that first one. I can't explain it. I makes me feel almost like I'm being violated. Creepy chills going up and down my spine.

[Beacool]

115. Yes, for a grown man to give a child what looks like a wedding band is creepy.

For that child to be his daughter is just sick.

[Ken Burch]

183. The "girls in prom dresses carrying a cross" thing was mega-disturbing as well

Last edited Sat Mar 22, 2014, 04:10 PM - Edit history (1)

I swear...that looked like a publicity still from "Manos, The Hands of Fate&quot as seen on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000.)

[demigoddess]

189. did you notice the girls were barefoot

in that picture. That adds to the creepiness. Although there was plenty to begin with.

[Ken Burch]

191. Hadn't caught that. Gives it even more of a "Manos" or Nordic death metal video feeling. n/t.

[blackspade]

197. These freaks make Nordic Death Metal wholesome.

Even those lunatics in Golgotha seem rational compared to these Talibornagain.

[OnionPatch]

206. Yes! Freakin creepy.

Daddy will keep them barefoot....Their husbands will keep them pregnant.

[mrsadm]

230. I think they are wearing some type of sandal with thin straps.

Probably a Jesus thing...

[jmowreader]

242. I think they don't want them to break their ankles

Five girls carrying a cross...if you don't practice in heels - this may be the first time they've worn them - you can fall easily, and the cross would cause the falling person to take the other four with her. So...take off your shoes, hump the cross to the stage, and put your shoes back on.

[azurnoir]

138. I guess as long as he's your Dad it's okay

creepy doesn't even begin to describe it

[Ken Burch]

192. And if daddy's not available, there's always Youth Pastor Bob

[Tom Ripley]

179. Maybe the repeated cuckoldry is what makes god such a pissy, murderous psychopath?

[eShirl]

9. sounds like a perfect setup for molestation

[tofuandbeer]

193. That was my first thought: some creep is going to read about this and join up for the wrong reasons.

[Beacool]

10. I know.

My jaw dropped when I read this article. The whole thing made me feel like taking a shower. The idea of a father being the "boyfriend" of the daughter grossed me out. The concept that a daughter is to be passed from father to husband, as if she were property to be sold, angered me no end. I know that in certain parts of the world these things are still going on, but we are in the USA. Also, what's with the carrying of the cross nonsense????

[Whisp]

18. I hope that one day the girls will take that cross

and club the stupid daddies over their stupid heads. gangland style.

[Beacool]

20. Amen to that........

[blueamy66]

29. Then they need to club their mothers, who allow this shit to take place.

[Whisp]

34. the daddies are in closer vicinity and it's creepy as freakin hell

that a dad would be called a boyfriend. So yah, they get the cross first. And most likely the mothers are cowed into cowardice by these throwback neandrathal fucks who probably beat them and abuse their wives if they think obsessing about their daughters vaginas is okey dokey. So nice try, but I am putting the gist of the blame on the fuckhead pedophilic dads.

club them, girls. club 'em hard.

[blueamy66]

37. Oh, I agree with you.

But you would think that a mother wouldn't let this shit happen in the year 2014.

[Whisp]

42. this ceremony is not about moms being their sons girlfriend.

sorry if I am misunderstanding but I took it as there has to be a woman to blame for this when you mentioned the mother.

[blueamy66]

74. No, the mother isn't to blame, but, I would love to hear how they rationalize their

husbands' behavior.

I don't have kids....I just spoke to my niece, who has 3 little girls....she belongs to a non-denom Christian Church....she just said that there is no way that she'd ever let this behavior occur in her household.

Where are the Moms?

[JoeyT]

88. For the most part, the moms were brainwashed into this from birth.

It's easy for us to talk about how awful the moms must be, but it's pretty likely they have no independent frame of reference with which to conclude this behavior is wrong. That women are banned from kissing before marriage tells you how sheltered and insular people that are into this are.

The whole point of stuff like this is to deny women free will...and it works, most of the time. Once your free will is utterly stripped away, very little blame can be laid at your feet.

[blueamy66]

92. I don't think that they are awful. I just wondered why they allow this to occur?

If the women cannot kiss, I'm assuming the men aren't kissing either.

[AtheistCrusader]

142. If they catch you in the back seat trying to pick her locks, they're gonna send you back to mother

in a cardboard box! You better run!

-Pink Floyd (Run Like Hell - The Wall)


Either they don't know any better because they are raised in, marinated in, inculcated in a society that accepts this as the norm, or they know, but are too afraid to do anything about it.

They are victims as well.

As the statistics show, this practice doesn't keep kids from having sex. It causes them to go about it in an ignorant and secretive fashion. Fewer of them using protection, from STD's OR pregnancy. (And the materials are difficult for them to openly acquire in that culture anyway, even if they choose to be open.)


I think being openly gay in southern, highly religious states is incredibly brave, and incredibly risky, but nipping at that issue's heels, is the bravery and risk incurred by a heterosexual woman who is open about her sexuality.

[snooper2]

210. They are all just fundies, the moms and dads

you can make excuses but fundies aren't very bright to begin with-

[exboyfil]

202. Not to this ceremonial level

but my wife wanted me to take my daughters on dates and give them what was effectively a purity ring. I politely declined. I spend lots of time with my daughters (especially at dog agility, going to museums/zoos, and watching science fiction movies with them as well as extensive tutoring), but I would never think to do something like this. I want to spend time with them, but doing wholesome activities. Soon my oldest will be off to college, and I am excited by the new challenge in her life.

There is a good chance a big push for this is coming from the mom's side as well if my experience is any indication. The fathers would be more helpful just letting their daughters know that they are loved, tell them that they pray (hope) someone comes into their lives who treats them with respect, and that their father will always be there when needed with love no matter what happens. Now fly away little birdie and experience your own life.

[get the red out]

89. Absolutely!

I'm sure there is oppression and abuse by these "Christian patriarchs" on so many levels!

[geardaddy]

108. +1 million

[Ken Burch]

186. I thought you were gonna say

they should hold their daddies down and shove that cross where the Light of The Lord does not shine.

[Initech]

231. I'm reminded of a scene from the Simpsons:

"At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion, otherwise their behavior could incite other women leading to anarchy of Biblical proportions. It's in Revelations, people!!!!"



That must be what these "fathers" (term used loosely) are thinking!

[Skittles]

190. plenty of women allow themselves to be "given away" by their father to their husband

they call it a "marriage ceremony tradition" (yuck)

[alcina]

141. Ewwww, indeed!

That was my first thought when I saw this.

My second thought was how much that second photo reminded me of the "Jesus dance" from the film "Drop Dead Gorgeous." (For context: The man singing along in the audience is daddy.)

[nomorenomore08]

163. That's not inviting incest at all. Oh no, never!

*whistles innocently*

[Ken Burch]

185. I thought dating your daddy was an Ozarks kind of thing.

[Aristus]

2. Those things have always registered 10/10 on the creepy factor...

...

I think they are designed to make these putrid creep fathers feel like a combination of Prince Charming and Rambo. Admonitions to 'protect' their daughters' sexuality must really appeal to the white suburban desk-driver.

[Beacool]

12. What shocked me is that it apparently is going on in 48 states.

Damn depressing.

[StevieM]

240. I am surprised that you are shocked by this. It is the basic mentality of a frighteningly large

percentage of our country.

[Beacool]

243. We seem to be regressing to another era.

[Arugula Latte]

3. This is so effing creepy I have no words ...

[polichick]

4. That is some sick shit!

[PDJane]

5. It's going to make for some very unhappy wives at some point

A woman who hasn't experimented, has never kissed a boy, messed around a bit, discovered what pleases her and what doesn't, isn't going to be able to participate fully in the sex act. Love and attraction need practice.

I thought this particular brand of ownership was long dead.

[Skidmore]

11. Not to worry.

Those young ladies will practice inspite of their vows. The ones I worry about are those with fathers who might prey upon them instead of protecting them.

Fundamentalism. Ugh.

[Beacool]

23. They are attempting to brainwash them young.

Right now they can get away with it because they're only 12. When they get a little older, I doubt that they'll follow this nonsense for too long. They may just hide it from their families. At least that's my hope. If not, they'll have very unhappy lives.

[StevieM]

237. Kids like the Duggars have no other frame of reference. They are brainwashed from birth (eom)

[redqueen]

30. The idea is for them NOT to enjoy it.

This kind of shit is parallel to the idea that women aren't supposed to enjoy or even want sex. That woken are supposed to consider it a wifely duty that they put up with, because they're expected to. The idea of women enjoying sex, to these people, is sinful and wicked. A woman's sexuality is from the devil according to them.

This is a very old method of subordinating women and ensuring the continuance of the patriarchy.

[leftynyc]

116. They'll just turn into the everything but kind of girls

They'll have plenty of practice in all forms of sex not leading to babies.

[LiberalAndProud]

6. Ewww.

just eww.

Shades of Lot.

[AleksS]

8. There's no "creepy" smiley face

There's no "creepy" smiley face that fully expresses the creepy-ness this article makes me feel.

What is it with fundy religious dudes and ladies having sex? Is it insecurity? A power trip? It seems like the vast majority of time and thought and effort these dudes expend in life are devoted to people having sex--or more specifically stopping other people from having sex. For the second time today I find myself saddened by the horrible, tiny, scared, hateful world these people live in.

[Beacool]

24. This would be the smiley face of my choice to express the creepiness level of this article.

[hollysmom]

25. how about this one

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[Beacool]

51. Yikes!!!

[LadyHawkAZ]

13. "Purity Culture Is Rape Culture"

http://prospect.org/article/purity-culture-rape-culture

“Rape culture,” as young feminists now call this, isn’t limited to India. It lives anywhere that has a “traditional” vision of women’s sexuality. A culture in which women are expected to remain virgins until marriage is a rape culture. In that vision, women’s bodies are for use primarily for procreation or male pleasure. They must be kept pure. While cultural conservatives would disagree, this attitude gives men license to patrol—in some cases with violence—women's hopes for controlling their lives and bodies.

[Beacool]

36. Well said!!

In these types of social or religious cultures, women have no right to their own sexuality. It's frankly nothing new and not much different from how women were treated in Western cultures in the past. Young women were "sold" to the highest bidder. They were treated as glorified slaves, they were the property of the father, or the male in the family, if no father was present. These men would try to make a business deal that would be advantageous to their family by marrying off girls to the man who would benefit the family the most.

To ensure a profitable marriage, these women had to be pure. Virginity and fidelity were highly prized because men wanted to know that the children were their issue. In some western cultures women were not entitled to own property, the property was inherited by the male line of the family.

I'm extremely grateful to have been born in the 20th century.

[Sognefjord]

156. I have seen pictures from the 18th Century that show some social reasons

for women being commodities. There was a Hogarth print that showed an aristocratic father (who needed money for his social position) negotiating with a rich member of the bourgeoisie (who wanted to be part of a higher social class) to have his son marry the wealthy merchant's daughter. They considered it a win/win but no clue on what the daughter really thought of all this.

[Beacool]

177. To this day, parts of the world still arrange marriages for girls.

And in some horrible places they are not even grown up, they are still small children. Then there are rural places in India, Thailand and some others where poor parents accept money for their young daughters. These girls are taken to the cities to be prostituted. There's a high price for virgins.

It makes you want to weep in outrage to think of what so many fellow girls and women are subjected to in some cultures.

[LadyHawkAZ]

172. When I was 13 my father was the one who made the appointment

and took me to the gynecologist for birth control, at my request. I share your gratitude and am glad I had a totally different sort of father than these poor girls do.

[Beacool]

178. We are blessed to have been born in this era and to a Western nation.

Granted that there's still plenty of sexism that we have to deal with and we still don't have equal pay, but at least no one tried to sell us to the highest bidder.

[StevieM]

239. You were lucky in that sense. Plenty of girls have fathers who claim sovereignty over

their daughters' sexuality. It really is quite sickening. But also very widespread.

[mountain grammy]

145. That's the first thing I thought of when I read this.

[Tom Ripley]

149. +1000

[Trajan]

15. This is Colorado City, AZ, right ?

Sheesh .... as father of two wonderful daughters, it sufficed that we taught them to be decent and intelligent human beings before they left the homestead ... I always hope they do the right things based on their good nature and natural intelligence ...

This? .... way way wrong ...

I left the Catholic Church on the very day of my confirmation, and have never looked back once ...

[blueamy66]

33. This isn't going on in the Catholic Church.

And Colorado City is FLDS.

[Arugula Latte]

67. The Catholic Church has a different brand of creepy

but it too is chock-full of creepinesss -- the death cult of Jesus, bleeding Jesus on the cross imagery, nuns as "brides" of a dead guy, crackers and grape juice turning into Jesus flesh and blood, priests molesting kids, women as nothing but baby vessels, the Vatican bigwigs in big hats condemning gays, etc.

[blueamy66]

71. Wow.

Thanks for educating me on my faith.

Nuns as brides? Never heard of that one before.

Women as baby vessels? I have never given birth.

The Vatican is changing.

But, hey, I won't change your mind....

[Arugula Latte]

75. Nuns have been called "Brides of Christ" for a long time -- it's a very common term.

I have been to Catholic mass weddings (recent, too!) where the priest basically informed we lowly women that we were to be helpmates to the men. The church has long thought of women as second-class citizens who are not as important as a fetus in their bellies -- have you not heard of the "pro-life" policies of the Catholic Church? A representative of the Church campaigned against birth control in front of Congress not long ago. And let's not forget about the long history of homophobia and repression against my gay friends. So I take the abuses of the RCC very personally.

I don't have to respect that vile institution just because it is called "religion," and I won't.

[blueamy66]

85. I never said that you had to respect my Church.

What is wrong with being a helpmate? Whether you are male or female....

The people are the Church...we are not all the same and do not all adhere to all of the teachings.

I have gay friends. I have gay Catholic friends.

Just don't bring the Catholic Church into this thread...as we do not have Purity Balls and do not believe in this kind of stuff.

Call my Church creepy if you must....

What do you believe in?

[pnwmom]

106. The whole body of Church members is symbolically called the Bride of Christ.

All the members of the Church as a group, including both men and women.

[blueamy66]

118. Never heard that one either....despite 13 years of Catholic school education

nt

[pnwmom]

122. Don't know how you missed that then. Even Wikipedia knows about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_of_Christ

The Bride of Christ or bride, the Lamb's wife is a term used in reference to a group of related verses in the Bible—in the Gospels, Revelation, the Epistles and related verses in the Old Testament. Sometimes the Bride is implied through calling Jesus a Bridegroom. For over fifteen hundred years the Church was identified as the bride betrothed to Christ. However, there are instances where the interpretation of the usage of bride varies from Church to Church. The majority believe it always refers to the Church.

[blueamy66]

126. Interesting. I'll read up on it.

nt

[AtheistCrusader]

134. Not your fault.

You should see Mormons when they get online and find out what their religion is actually all about, the full history of it.

Heads assplode.


I will say this, the members of the Catholic church are a lot more progressive, as a statistical body, than the church itself.

[Mr.Bill]

78. I was taught by Franciscan nuns in Catholic school.

They wore wedding bands. When you asked them why, they would tell you they were married to Jesus Christ. This was in the 60s. I don't know if it's still like that now.

This was just one order of nuns. I don't know about others. Not all nuns follow the same rules and lifestyles.

[blueamy66]

81. Yeah, the nuns that taught me didn't wear any wedding rings.

This is new to me.

[Warpy]

117. I'm afraid the change is glacial, imperceptible to most people with normal life spans

Nuns were traditional brides of Christ, wearing wedding rings as part of the habit. A lot of orders have changed things like that and the Vatican is displeased with them for it.

Women are animated flowerpots into which men plant their seed. That is church doctrine. They only very grudgingly decided we had (inferior) souls so we could be sent to hell. Aristotle and his laughable homunculus theory is what they have never progressed beyond, as they consider anything female or pertaining to sex ickydoodle. While they might have heard of assisted reproductive strategies, it doesn't fit the theory and therefore they don't like it.

I have no problem with Catholics but the Vatican is antiquated and incapable of the type of change they have needed to make. Catholics, however, are mostly sensible and practical people who realize the least capable people to make policy decisions regarding reproduction are a bunch of celibate old men.

The best things nations can do is break with Rome, following Hentry VIII's lead. The Anglican church, freed from the corruption and hide bound idiocy of an organization that is much as it was a thousand years ago, has become much better for it.

[LynnTTT]

144. Sorry, but

When nuns finish their training and "take the veil" as it used o be called, they become "brides of Christ". Complete with a ring.
That may have changed lately, but that is a fact

[whopis01]

159. Never heard of nuns as brides?

That seems odd for a Catholic. That description is used in the catechism of the Catholic Church (amongst other places).

[Trajan]

95. Perhaps I was just remarking about the Catholic Church

After making a statement about the OP ...

That's ok ... you don't have to get it ...

[blueamy66]

97. Perhaps you didn't need to respond....if only to throw a dig out there...

AND, Colorado City, AZ, is home to a sect of Mormons, not Catholics.

[Trajan]

162. Perhaps I need to respond according to my own motivations

And perhaps there's not a damned thing you can do about that ..

Your problem lies in interpretation. You have mistaken everything I have said - you might as well give it up.

[tofuandbeer]

195. I was raised Catholic (now atheist), but I look back and see the it was a nice part of growing up.

Although, we'd only go to church at holidays (those types) and I hated it as a child—leaving my toys at Christmas to dress up for church, it was always nice singing the songs, etc
...anyway, I harbor no bad recollections and think of the Catholic church as a nice part of my childhood.

[Beacool]

40. These nut jobs are not Catholic.

More like some version of the Christian fundamentalist sects.

[blueamy66]

72. Exactly.

My Catholic Mother would never have allowed this shit to take place.

[Beacool]

76. I think that every male in my Catholic family would have been horrified.

I now attend a Lutheran church. I will bring it up during hospitality on Sunday. I'm sure people there would be just as repelled by it. These are progressive people, the Lutheran church has women and gay pastors. As a matter of fact, last August they elected their first woman head of the ELCA.

Lutherans elect Elizabeth Eaton first female presiding bishop of ELCA

http://www.religionnews.com/2013/08/14/lutherans-elect-elizabeth-eaton-first-female-presiding-bishop-of-elca/

[seveneyes]

16. As creepy as this is

It still doesn't come close to another popular religion where old men marry little girls around the age of 9 years old.

[LadyHawkAZ]

19. Yes, it does

It delays the transfer of ownership for a few extra years, but it's the exact same mindset.

[seveneyes]

21. Yes, same mindset

The other adds statutory rape to its already sick act.

[get the red out]

96. Agree

Our fundies hate those fundies for "their freedoms" to completely marginalize women and rape young girls. I have always believed this.

[840high]

176. Correct.

[RKP5637]

17. Really freaky and creepy! n/t

[KG]

22. religion LOL n/t

[NightWatcher]

26. that cross carrying picture is completely insane

Virginal white-dressed girls carrying a cross. What's in the next photo, the sacrifice scene from Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom?

[jsr]

35. Here:

[NightWatcher]

41. these crazy religionists make me a stronger atheist on a daily basis

[Beacool]

43. That pic makes me fear that they are going to burn one of them at the cross.

[AleksS]

70. And did you notice the cross carriers are barefoot?

And did you notice the cross carriers are barefoot?

Because, of course they are. Won't need shoes for bein' barefoot and preggers in the kitchen, right?

[Sheldon Cooper]

87. Oddly enough, that's the first thing I noticed.

Creepy.

[get the red out]

98. Me too!

I'd like to kick those daddy/boyfriends in the crotch.

[geardaddy]

124. And bare feet

You know you gotta get 'em used to the barefoot part of barefoot and pregnant.

[blueamy66]

27. Why the need to carry a crucifix?

Just outrageously weird on so many levels.

[Beartracks]

199. If I'm not mistaken...

... a crucifix is a cross that is depicted with Jesus on it. What the girls are carrying is just a cross.

=======================

[blueamy66]

200. Okay. You are right.

Why the need to carry a cross?

Better?

[Beartracks]

201. Not "better," just more accurate. :)

And I have no idea about the cross-carrying bit.

I'm just assuming it's some kind of ritual metaphor or something. "Carrying a cross" usually means accepting a burden, like the man who helped Jesus on the way to Golgotha by carrying his cross for him briefly. Maybe it's a "burden" to stay pure? I'm just wild-ass guessing here...

=============

[Kablooie]

224. The cross symbolizes the men they must slave under the rest of their lives.

[LeftishBrit]

28. While I don't trust the Daily Mail, this story seems sadly to be confirmed by several sources

e.g.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2014/03/daughters-pledge-to-preserve-their-virginity-at-purity-balls/


Very very creepy!

[Whisp]

38. this 'ceremony' has been around for years...

[riqster]

31. There isn't a snowball's chance in a self-cleaning oven...

...that I would EVER have been a "boyfriend" to either of my daughters. (Past tense, they are grown up now.)

Three'll get you five, it was a serial pedophile who dreamed this sick shit up in the first place.

[Beacool]

45. Sounds like it, doesn't it?

I'm glad that you are a normal, loving dad.

[riqster]

54. I dunno about "normal".

Hell, I wouldn't know normal if it bit my ankle. But I do love my kids.

[Beacool]

65. LOL!!!

[progressoid]

32. I know someone who did this to/with one of his daughters.

Freaked me the fuck out when I found out.

[Beacool]

47. Seriously?

What became of the girl? Did she turn out OK?

[progressoid]

66. I'm not sure.

She's still in High School I think. I don't see them much so... VERY RW religous family.

It must be the season for these things because I posted about it in March of last year!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022565133

[Beacool]

113. Maybe they hold these balls every March.

Disgusting and depressing. I hope that your friend's daughter turns out OK.

[exboyfil]

203. Right before prom season?

[Beacool]

213. I don't know.

I have no clue, but maybe they make a season out of it. Prom, purity ball..........

[LumosMaxima]

39. Seriously sick. nt

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

44. Totally creepy and patriarchical.

I don't see male children being held to a similar Oedipal standard...

[Beacool]

49. Exactly!!!

Imagine the outrage if they did this with boys and the moms became their "girlfriends".

[StevieM]

241. Excellent point. The pressure is on the girls far more than the boys.

Some day this will all be looked at with disgust. Unfortunately, I don't think I will live to see that day.

[Beacool]

244. The double standard has always angered me.

Thank goodness that I had an independent, smart mother. She never thought that a woman needed a man for her self determination. She taught me that I was just as good as any guy. Therefore, I never took crap from any boy or man. If I had a date, great. If I didn't, I went out with my friends. I never understood the angst of my female friends if they weren't asked out on a Friday or Saturday night. My identity did not depend on the approval of a man. I have always treated my relationships with men as equal partnerships.

[Nika]

46. Not even a kiss huh?

Talk about setting up a girl for failure.

[sakabatou]

48. *pukes*

[Feral Child]

50. Starkly perverse.

Symbolic incest.

[valerief]

52. Yes, and they vow only to have anal sex until marriage because how else can they

get engaged.

[plcdude]

61. you are not far from the truth

We have these "dances" here in my area in Oklahoma and having had three daughters who tell me about their female friends associated with these beyond creepy events hj's bj's and anal are their preferred choices. Those are not really perceived as sex for them.

[valerief]

63. Not sex for the female but certainly sex for the male, and that's all that matters, after all.

[JoeyT]

100. From what I remember of the purity nuts,

Fellatio isn't considered sex, cunnilingus is. Apparently the line between sinful and not-sinful is the woman enjoying it.

[get the red out]

110. Unless

Bill Clinton is on the receiving end. Then the country exploded.

[AtheistCrusader]

136. Purity nuts, purity balls... something is happening lingusitically here that is

disturbing me...

[Ikonoklast]

164. Ah, yes, "The Loophole" by Garfunkel and Oates.

If you are a fan of TBBT, you just might recognize these two.

WARNING:Really, really, really NSFW.

[Oakenshield]

53. Yup.

Quite creepy.

[CBGLuthier]

55. The worst part is the monthly virginity check

that a father like this is sure to engage in.

Sick.

[Democracyinkind]

56. Yuck. nt

[Chan790]

57. This strikes me as incredibly creepy.

Not that I'm planning on having any kids but if I do; I hope they have vibrant, healthy and safe sexual lives to a degree, variety, type and quality of their own choosing.

I'd prefer to not know the details or find some strange person unexpectedly sitting at my breakfast table however. It is not my finest hour and I prefer to not know the details of anybody's sex life except my own.

[xchrom]

58. from 2008 -- BUT -- it shows the problem with 'purity balls' - they don't use contraception

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/womens-health/articles/2008/12/29/many-teens-dont-keep-virginity-pledges

Many Teens Don't Keep Virginity Pledges
Pledgers are also less likely to use birth control, study finds

MONDAY, Dec. 29 (HealthDay News) -- Teens who take virginity pledges are just as likely to have sex as teens who don't make such promises -- and they're less likely to practice safe sex to prevent disease or pregnancy, a new study finds.

"Previous studies found that pledgers were more likely to delay having sex than non-pledgers," said study author Janet E. Rosenbaum, a post doctoral fellow at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. "I used the same data as previous studies but a different statistical method."

This method allowed Rosenbaum to compare those who had taken a virginity pledge with similar teens who hadn't taken a pledge but were likely to delay having sex, she said. She added that she didn't include teens who were unlikely to take a pledge.

"Virginity pledgers and similar non-pledgers don't differ in the rates of vaginal, oral or anal sex or any other sexual behavior," Rosenbaum said. "Strikingly, pledgers are less likely than similar non-pledgers to use condoms and also less likely to use any form of birth control."

The findings were published in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics.


***just as likely to HAVE sex

[Beacool]

73. This part is worrisome, but I'm glad that they are not keeping their pledges.

"Virginity pledgers and similar non-pledgers don't differ in the rates of vaginal, oral or anal sex or any other sexual behavior," Rosenbaum said. "Strikingly, pledgers are less likely than similar non-pledgers to use condoms and also less likely to use any form of birth control."

[jeff47]

102. My ex grew up in a very religious part of rural TN.

They had to open a second day-care center next to the High School. Because the first one was full.

Pledges and books do not outweigh teenage hormones.

[get the red out]

104. Their parents are failing them

They are neglecting teaching them about sex except for saying they must not have it. This is poor parenting, but I guess these fundies probably feel that if a girl gets VD, or pregnant, she deserves it as punishment.

[mercuryblues]

139. The daddy is the vagina police

http://www.perrspectives.com/blog/archives/001345.htm

What do Americans who took virginity pledges have in common with those who voted for George W. Bush for President? For one, many people in both groups later denied they did any such thing. And to be sure, they got screwed just the same.

Those are just two of the findings from a new study by the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health. Looking at previous data regarding premarital sexual behavior, the analysis focuses "on teens who had similar values about sex and other issues before they took a virginity pledge." As author Janet E. Rosenbaum put it, "Taking a pledge doesn't seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior, but it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking." The Washington Post summarized the findings:

The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a "virginity pledge," but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.

Like the Bush voters who now claim they backed John Kerry or Al Gore, the virginity pledgers quickly retracted their promised support for abstinence. Previously, Rosenbaum found that 53% of adolescents in large, federally-funded studies denied doing so a year later. By 2001, 82% of those first interviewed in 1995 had broken their vows. And as the new report detailed, these teens go on to engage in the same gamut of sexual practices at virtually identical levels as non-pledgers, only with a much lower use of condoms and other forms of contraception. (Another 2005 study revealed that "adolescents who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are more likely to substitute high-risk sexual behaviors that increase the likelihood of transmitting sexually transmitted diseases.&quot

if I remember right, these balls are promoted by Focus on the Family. They are less likely to use any form of protection.
The girls that participate have higher rates of STD's and most likely pregnancy rate because they are also taught "abstinence only". Think about it, where purity balls are popular, so is the "abstinence only" sex ed.

So on the plus side if and when a girl goes to a crisis pregnancy center, the can be shamed again for having sex. There aren't many planned parenthoods in the areas either. These girls are being set up to fail from a young age.

[siligut]

214. So these pledges give the appearance of 'purity'

But denying reality only means the kids aren't prepared with birth control.

[CFLDem]

59. Yikes

[alp227]

60. For a far superior source than the Daily Fail read Jessica Valenti's 2010 book "The Purity Myth"

I learned about the purity ball from that book. The Daily Mail is a clickbait yellow journalism source that even publishes blatantly incorrect information about politicians.

[Squinch]

62. I would LOVE to see a study done of these girls as they go through their lives. I will bet that

the incidence of unintentional pregnancy at very young ages is sky high within this group. I would also bet that the incidence of incest is much higher among this group, and the incidence of domestic violence once married among these girls is higher than average.

[Blue Owl]

64. Only for the sickest of the sick fucks.

[Vashta Nerada]

68. Creepy and pathetic.

[MineralMan]

69. Creepshow!

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

77. ".. sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth .."

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock

[Jamastiene]

79. That is so fucking deranged.

Creepy, sick, deranged.

[nadinbrzezinski]

80. None here want to know what I think of this

But these kinds of rites go back thousands of years, preceding that cross actually.

[catbyte]

82. Wow, this is creepy on so many levels I don't know know where to begin...

And that picture of those teenagers carrying that cross looks like some sort of parody or a scene out of "Saved!"

Yikes.

[get the red out]

83. I read a story about this one time

And the story talked about a family where all the daughters had "purity balls" but then one young girl had been raped after her purity ball and took off her purity ring and obviously felt like she was now the scum of the Earth.

These atrocities which make females matter no more than a prize pig just infuriate me. This is not the Christian culture my parents believed in, this is something that has taken that over like stinking mold.

[XemaSab]

174. Elizabeth Smart has spoken out against "purity culture"

and the idea that a girl's virginity makes her valuable.

[Cali_Democrat]

84. ...

[PumpkinAle]

86. And the girls are okay with it

because they get to dress up and look lovely and be "belle of the ball"............... and then I wonder how many go out with their real boyfriends and have sex?

Sickening, creepy, and disturbing.

[elleng]

90. Among other things, 'girls/women' have been/continue to be treated as property,

to be passed on/given from fathers to husbands, in traditional and widespread wedding ceremonies: "Who gives this woman . . .?"

I did NOT include these lines in my marriage ceremony, my older daughter, now 29, did, and my younger daughter, 25, wants so much to be able to have that service. Her father/my husband (separated) passed last May, so daughter may not marry for a long time.

Its traditional, tho the fancy ceremony you describe is not.

[LiberalAndProud]

165. I had a parents' blessing at my wedding.

Both my mother and father blessed my marriage. It was my dad's idea. He's kind cool that way.

[elleng]

168. Very nice.

Wish my husband had suggested that, but at the time, younger daughter wasn't engaged, and not sure how older daughter, wrapped up in big 'impressive' wedding, 2 years ago, would have reacted.

[South_Street]

91. Creepy....

[Spitfire of ATJ]

93. The roots are in the same freakout from the 60s when teenagers "did their own thing".

[Ilsa]

232. I don't understand what you are referring to.

Could you please be more specific? What are you comparing?

[Spitfire of ATJ]

236. Back in the day there were a lot of runaways...

Often due to overbearing fathers who try to keep daughters from discovering that demon lust within them.

Not the boys, mind you. They can hump a knothole for all dad cares.

But the daughter? She has to be kept "pure", not only in deed but in THOUGHT.

Thus was born the iconic Kansas farm girl hitchhiking for some California Dreaming. You know the ones. They ended up as grocery clerks.

[blueamy66]

94. Isn't there a show on Lifetime called Preacher's Daughter?

nt

[dflprincess]

99. My mother once wondered how many bad marriages result from an obsession with "purity"

she speculated that it cannot end well as girls (and boys from families like this) get married too young because they mistake "ants in the pants" (Mom's words) for love.

Sometimes these nuts don't even allow the young couple any time alone and how much can you find out about what someone is really like with a "chaperone" hovering around all the time.

[geardaddy]

101. Hey daddy, I got your purity balls right here.

fuck 'ead.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

103. SO CREEPY!!!!

[EC]

105. This is just sick.

It sounds like the old Deb Balls.

[William769]

107. This is wrong on so many levels.

[FiveGoodMen]

109. Got to be some of the sickest shit the world has ever produced

Shame on America for letting this happen.

[Flatpicker]

112. Ewww

Way too twisted.

[City Lights]

114. Creepy.

[Zorra]

119. Stepford redux. Religion makes a lot of people do a lot of totally fucked up weird shit to kids.

[Swede Atlanta]

120. I think I read some statistics on this a year or so ago....

and the results are not what Daddy is expecting. If I recall correctly the % of "purity" girls that ended up having premarital sex was actually higher than their peers and the % of premarital pregnancies was on par with their peers.

Telling a young man not to masturbate or have sex or tell a girl not to give into a boyfriend when these young people are raging with hormones is akin to trying to douse an oil well blowout with a kitchen extinguisher.

Young people have always, and will always, have sex. They will masturbate.

The best thing parents can do is to provide them with education so that if they decide to have sex they have protected sex not only to avoid pregnancy but avoid the transmission of STDs.

Parents can always encourage chastity and if that is part of their faith tradition I am not going to criticize it. But having young girls make these pledges which pit their religious faith (or indoctrination) against their biological "natural" desires is very cruel.

Three of my aunts/uncles who I presented themselves as "holier than thou" when I was a child I later learned had a bun in the oven before their wedding. Once I learned that I called them on the carpet when they tried to flaunt their religious piety.

[NickB79]

121. If you feel this strongly that you need to "protect" your teen daughter's chastity

It's a very good indication you FAILED as a father years earlier, and just haven't realized it yet.

Invest the time, energy, patience and unconditional love when she's a little girl, when it has the most impact.

You know what does more to shape a young woman's future than a fucking purity ball when she's 14? Playing with her at the park when she's 4 yr old. Taking her to the library and reading to her. Playing dollies and My Little Pony tea parties. Building Legos with her. Hugging and kissing her. Saying "I love you" and MEANING IT.

These balls are held by men who SQUANDERED the time they had as fathers when their daughters were young, and are now desperately scrambling to find ways to compensate for it later on.

[Beacool]

155. Well said.

[OldHippieChick]

123. I'm surprised that so many of you are surprised

and seem to think this is a throwback. No wonder we have such problems getting young women to recognize the danger their rights face. We still have a culture where most women take their husband's name in marriage. We still live in a culture where the father walks the daughter down the aisle and the preacher asks "who gives this woman ..."

Really!?! You're surprised?!

[Beacool]

154. No one is under any illusion that we have true gender equality,

but this kind of behavior is a throwback to another era. Purity pledge? They added an even creepier factor by proclaiming that daddy is their "boyfriend". That is just so sick.

[joeybee12]

125. Is the second photo an old photo? Is that Jessica Simpson?

Sure looks like her and I know her pron-star wanna-be father had her go through all that shit.

[The Traveler]

127. This really creeps me out.

Not sure which bothers me more ... the "daddy is your boyfriend" metaphor or the picture of these girls dressed in white wedding gownish stuff carrying a cross like that.

I'm not a hard core atheist or anything like that. Religion does not bother me. But some folk use some pretty icky motifs in their expression of religion ... and this definitely strikes me as such a case.

I find the whole thing very creepy.

Trav

[JBoy]

128. Bill Maher breaks down the creepiness of this:

[Lars39]

129. The concept has been around at least 30 years or so.

Not the pageantry or overtness, though. That's new. Saw this with extended family member.

[Prophet 451]

130. Beyond creepy

First off, fetishizing virginity is not exactly healthy. It's teaching that sex is a horrible, disgusting thing that you should only inflict on some husband.
Secondly, the idea of "Daddy is your boyfriend" seems like a set-up to a joke about incest.

[blkmusclmachine]

131. Chattel

Daddy, is I married yet???

[valerief]

132. This PB speaker likes to make clothes out of duct tape.

http://www.purityball.com/speaker.html

Is that another crazy fundy fad?

[2naSalit]

133. apparently the

ceremony includes the virgins be barefooted... spooky symbol there.

It's truly amazing how the religious zealots in this country see themselves as the one and only truly pure sect when they are getting oh so much closer to those they abhor and wage war against...

and scary.

or not real sure if it's either or both.

[Aldo Leopold]

135. Sex with goats

probably occurs in 48 of 50 US states, but likely isn't "becoming a phenomenon" in the US.

Sure, this is sick. But I doubt it's a trend or a "movement" in this country. The article has a distinctly sensational flavor.

[xxqqqzme]

137. What is the 'purity'

ceremony for boys?

I thought this insanity peaked during the 'teach abstinence' craze a few years ago.

[AtheistCrusader]

140. Fuck religion.

Religion makes people do terrible, evil, horrendous things. Not kidding.

I am not aware of a single secular society on this planet that would come up with shit like this.

?1394045613

[deathrind]

143. Creepy...

On every level imaginable.

[mountain grammy]

146. About as creepy as it gets.

[Tom Ripley]

147. Leave it to Protestants to come up with something more fucked up than nuns

I guess when you're #2, you really do try harder.

[wryter2000]

148. Jesus on a trailer hitch

I am so sick of these people calling themselves Christians.

[SunSeeker]

150. Why, if they think this is such a good thing, don't they do this for boys? nt

[AtheistCrusader]

151. Precisely.

[valerief]

221. Men are different. Men are better. The bible says so.

[Gothmog]

152. This is way too creepy for me

[Peacetrain]

153. This just makes my skin crawl..

Seriously.. and I am a committed Christian..but this just gives me the willies.. This is trying to promote the male domination of women in the Christian arena.. aka very Taliban-ish.. Blachhhhhhh is all I can say

[Aerows]

157. Creepy as hell

I don't know how else to express it.

[no_hypocrisy]

158. To have and to hold" is a legal phrase used in deeds and other property transfer.

It means to own.

This antiquated ritual is designed to let a girl know who owns her before and after marriage and to get used to the idea.

[Whisp]

166. this reminds me of 'rule of thumb'

you can beat your wife with a stick as long as it's not thicker than your thumb.

I'm sure there were thumb police on the cases.

[HipChick]

160. And what are they doing for boys?

[Kablooie]

223. They are challenged by the fathers to see how many babes they can bang before marriage.

I'll betcha that's going on.

[spanone]

161. sick shit.

[Warren DeMontague]

167. That's a whole truckload of fucked up, right there.

[ellie]

169. These poor girls.

[Liberal_in_LA]

170. Daddy's primary concern is the state of his daughters privates. creepy and wrong

[Blue Owl]

171. Sicker and creepier than a Craigslist personal ad

Like 10x sicker and 20x creepier...

[Initech]

173. OK so to reiterate Christian propaganda....

It's not OK for a gay family to be featured in a Nabisco ad. But it's perfectly acceptable for young girls to attend a ritualistic dance with their fathers where they are forced to say an oath that they belong to the lord and that their daddy is their boyfriend. Right.

[d_b]

175. creepy shit

if you dont wanna fuck until marriage fine, but pledging your 'purity' to daddy and jesus? lol

[RainDog]

180. Christianity is a sexist religion

as are most of them - because they came out of sexist cultures.

I'm glad that so many younger people are rejecting these sexist religious values and choosing not to associate with any such religion, be it protestant or catholic.

[mindwalker_i]

181. So when a girl does get married

She's divorcing God?

On the more practical side, when girls do get pregnant at 14, does that mean it's God's baby? Does that mean there's going to be an assload of baby Jesuses running around? And God's a pretty old dude. Can we charge him with statutory rape?

[StevieM]

238. What often happens is that they are bullied into giving the baby up for adoption.

And then they grieve for that child for the rest of their lives.

[KauaiK]

182. This is seriously sick and perverted.

Ewwwwww

[Captain Stern]

184. The article sucks for saying that this shit is "sweeping America". It's not. nt

[Ken Burch]

187. Sounds like a "death metal" lyric, doesn't it? n/t.

[ErikJ]

188. How much longer before theyre wearing bonnets or burkas?

[Ken Burch]

194. ...possibly with bondage gear underneath...

[Beacool]

220. Maybe a chastity belt?

[Ken Burch]

235. ...covered with poisoned spikes, most likely...

Last edited Sat Mar 22, 2014, 04:09 PM - Edit history (1)

(Not dissing the young women...trying to describe what this treatment is doing to their heads.)

[blackspade]

196. As a father of a little girl, I find this disgusting.

These people are fucking sick.
This effectively turns women into chattel.
Their virginity is a commodity to these loathsome filth.
These are the American taliban.

[wickerwoman]

198. Which two states don't have them?

[TopHatCat]

204. Nothing strange

at all about calling your daddy your boyfriend and marching with an ancient Roman torture/execution device. Nope, nothing strange at all.

[NaturalHigh]

205. This stuff really freaks me out.

I have an 18-year-old daughter, and I can't even imagine this kind of stuff.

[malthaussen]

207. Creepy stuff. Talk about perversion. n/t

[MrMickeysMom]

208. Tell me… did their FATHERS remain "pure" before they fucked their mothers?

I seriously doubt that.

Sorry if I offended anyone, but what the hell else can you say in response to this twisted logic?

Plus…. I doesn't work… Ask the fathers….

[greiner3]

209. And when those raging hormones hit these virgins;

I'd say a good percentage will NOT remain virgins for very long.

What better way for any group of men to control their women than to forbid one of the basic urges of humans.

And the control of all by these same men is to control the preparation of food, what they can/can't eat, their daily activities and the list goes on, and on, and on...

I think it has much to do with power; ultimate power because they, they priests, shamans, witch doctors, imams, ministers 'and the rest'.

What a racket these men have.

BTW, the new movie Paradise is about a teen woman who gets badly burned, loses her faith and moves to Las Vegas and fulfills a list of sins she has prepared.

I didn't watch the entire movie as it really bogged down and did not portray anything what I would have thought a 'good' interpretation could have been.

[TNNurse]

211. Slavery

It sounds like slavery. How many of these "daddies" never kissed before marriage? Can their twisted minds find Biblical references for this?

Are they planning on paying for their therapy? Divorces?

Treating people as property is always wrong. I grew up with a girl whose father told her how beautiful she was and that there was no man good enough for her. Know what? There never was. We are 65 this year, I hope she has been happy as a single woman, but I suspect she had no other option.

[svpadgham]

212. Daddy's my boyfriend?

In Alabama we call that "Tuesday."

[Beacool]

218. Sick, but funny........

[joanbarnes]

215. SO creepy in that it implies the father has 'first rights.' A better Dad always respects her choices

[Beacool]

219. Yes, it sounds like the royal "right of the first night".

Also known as "jus primae noctis" (law of the first night) and "droit du seigneur" (the lord's right). Even then, there has been much historical debate whether this was really standard practice in Medieval times.

Sickening.........

[leftyladyfrommo]

216. Oh, yuk.

I think I re3ad somewhere that young women who believe in this purity stuff when they are younger have sex outside marriage with just about the same regularity as other young women.

Fortunately, they get over this totally absurd and completely creepy philosophy.

[tea and oranges]

217. I think this is called "grooming." nt

[Kablooie]

222. Where are the mothers in all of this?

It's one thing for mothers to advise daughters about sex but for fathers to do so exclusively is really smarmy. Strong message to women that they must lie down under the heels of men and be their slaves.

[tk2kewl]

225. gross

[rosesaylavee]

226. A former boss did this with one daughter...

turns out she was lesbian and this let her off the hook on dating guys. lol...

Not sure how they responded when they found out as I wasn't working there when this came out later.

Nice kid - hope she's doing well now.

[tooeyeten]

227. Cult like and controlling

Of the minds of girls, keeping them in their place.

[BodieTown]

228. Who's Your Daddy?

This is every bit as medieval and mentally disturbed as Amish rumspringa and soaking rooms.

A phenomenon in America? In what circles is this a phenomenon?

Organized religion is quickly becoming thought cancer.

[tooeyeten]

229. Always been there

The cult of religion keeping the masses in their place, the internets through social media has allowed our society to get a full picture not the simple glimpse from 50 years ago.

[Ilsa]

233. My guess is that the little girls are excited about playing dress-up

in these fancy gowns and getting a pretty ring.

I don't have as big of a problem with a ring, as long as it isn't referred to a wedding ring or promise ring. If it is just a piece of jewelry that reminds her to either wait or use birth control, then it doesn't have to be a perversion.

The whole thing is super-creepy and I think will lead to trauma.

[Ilsa]

234. I wonder what goes through the minds of these girls' brothers?

They can't enjoy the attention paid to their sisters. And I guess at some point they will rule out dating a lot of these girls if they want even a kiss.