Top Ten Conservative Idiots of the Week Vol. 35

[Nanjing to Seoul]

Last edited Mon Mar 31, 2014, 08:04 AM - Edit history (1)

[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]IOKIYAR Edition[/font]

My computer fried, so I lost my template for the Top 10. If anyone can send me the coding needed to get the name of the icon by rolling the mouse over it, I will add it next week.

Yes, that's the question of the week. What is wrong with Wisconsin? First, they elect Scott Walker, then they vote out Russ Feingold for that assturd Ron Johnson. . .and we have two state legislators (1) that embarrass everyone. Also on the list. God told Bryan Fischer that discriminating against women is a good idea (3), a bank in New Jersey hates Atheists (7) and Ted Nugent comes back to the list after a three week hiatus (10). And as always, don't forget the key.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Bill Kramer and Jason Wisneski[/font]

This week starts off in the state of Wisconsin. Yes, the state that the Koch Brothers are trying to buy and run into the ground by buying the governor, a senator and the state house from people who decided they were so angry at Barack Obama in 2010 that they stayed home. And since 2014 is looking to be the same as 2010 (with Democrats not wanting to vote for some stupid reason), we will end up seeing more stories like the two below.

First, Wisconsin Assemblyman Bill Kramer as a sex problem. . .he likes to fondle women.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]A state lawmaker in Wisconsin ousted weeks ago as a Republican leader of the Assembly over accusations of sexual harassment was charged Friday with sexually assaulting a female aide to a senator in 2011, according to a criminal complaint.

Republican Bill Kramer was accused in the criminal complaint of forcibly kissing the female aide and grabbing her breasts after a political event in suburban Milwaukee in April 2011, the criminal complaint filed in Waukesha County said.

Let's see. Sexual Harassment, sexual battery, unwanted sexual contact. . .part and parcel for a Republican sex-hound. If the accusations included “unwanted entry with a cumbersome object,” it would be complete.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Kramer is charged with two counts of second degree sexual assault, which calls for up to 40 years in prison and a $100,000 fine on each count.

IOKIYAR, I guess. Expect him to find God, a drug problem or some other bullcrap excuse. Anything to deflect blame from his love of rape.

As evil as that is, nothing comes more disgusting that Jason Wisneski. He came up a great story to deflect from his love affair of breaking the legs of cats. The Democrat murdered his grandchild.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Earlier this week, the Green Bay Press-Gazette asked County Board candidate Jason Wisneski about a 2008 conviction for animal mistreatment for breaking his cat’s legs. Although Wisneski denied breaking his cat’s legs, he spent three days in jail after pleading guilty.

Okay, so he's got Ted Bundy qualities. Nice. Good for a Republican. Ted Bundy was also a Republican.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]In response, Wisneski pointed to a 2007 tragedy, when his Democratic opponent, state Senator Dave Hansen, accidentally killed his 23-month-old granddaughter while backing out of the driveway.

“It’s funny how they never bring up Dave Hansen murdering his grandchild though,” Wisneski wrote in a post on the Press-Gazette‘s website.

Hmm. . .sick, twisted bastard. Using the death of a 23 month old baby in a traffic accident to cover up your sit love of abusing animals. You are proof the Republicans are the party of sick, twisted ne'er-do-wells.

Walker, Johnson, Kramer, Wisneski. . .four peas in a pod. Wisconsin Democrats, are you embarrassed enough yet to vote these Republican POSes out of office (oops, a swear word. Hopefully, no one will get offended)? Or will you sit at home and pout because Obama didn't give you 100% of what you wanted.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Glenn Champ[/font]

Next on the list, California. The place where the GOP is in such disarray that they will nominate just about anyone to try to take Moonbat Jerry Brown out of office. This time, it's some putz (oops, a swear word. Hopefully, no one will get offended) named Glenn Champ, the latest in the Republican saviors in California.

Glenn is the good American boy. Handsome, rugged, individualistic, Christian ex-con, registered sex offender.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]One of the four gubernatorial candidates introduced to at the California Republican state party’s semi-annual convention last week spent a decade in prison for convictions for voluntary manslaughter and assault with intent to commit rape, according to the LA Times.

The GOP wants to put THIS in Sacramento? Seriously??? This guy? Manslaughter, assault with intent to commit rape? This guy? This! Guy!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Speaking before hundreds of delegates and supporters, Glenn Champ, 48, did not directly address colorful history, choosing instead to explain, “In my life, I’ve been held accountable because of my stupidity. I do not want anyone else to be enslaved because of their lack of knowledge.”

No, it's still fair game, bozo. See, if a Democrat had this, you Republicans would be screaming for a public flogging. But IOKIYAR, apparently. Democrats are ex-cons. Republicans are held accountable for stupidity. Apparently, attempted rape, manslaughter and weapons charges are just acts of stupidity. Murder must be just an ask of brew-haha.

As for a lack of knowledge. . .apparently, no doesn't mean no to you. No means get a tire iron and beat the shit (oops, a swear word. Hopefully, no one will get offended.) out of a girl until she says yes or is passed out, which means yes anyway.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Champ’s criminal history is extensive. Court records show that he pleaded guilty to carrying a concealed firearm in 1992. In 1993, he was convicted of two counts of assault with intent to commit rape and was placed on the state’s sex-offender registry.

Weapons charges too? Please explain this photo then!

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It's from Champ's own campaign website. NRA sponsored laws for background checks really work. They kept guns out of this assaulting, killing, attempted rapist's hands.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Bryan Fischer[/font]

According to Bella Abzug, “a woman's place is in the House. . .of Representatives.” According to Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association (another nice sounding brand name to disguise the sexist racism of their ideas), a woman's place is to be discriminated against.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Bryan Fischer, the director of Issues Analysis for the fundamentalist American Family Association (AFA), on Wednesday defended the practice of gender discrimination, saying that God “designed” women — and not men — to be secretaries.

On his Wednesday radio program, Fischer pointed out that liberals had argued that companies could use religion to discriminate on the basis of gender or to oppose the minimum wage if Hobby Lobby was allowed to use Christianity as a shield to deny birth control to its employees.

God designed women from Adam's rib bone to be a man's servant. That's your God given position in life. Glass ceiling. . .unequal pay. God wants that. That is some really screwed up God Fischer prays to. I wonder if his God believes in genocide, child human sacrifice and mass murder. . .of course that God does. Abraham and Noah!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Although the radio host admitted he had religious objections to the minimum wage, he said it preposterous to think that the Hobby Lobby case would open the door to other religious exemptions.

Religious objections to the minimum wage? What did Jesus say about it? I know! NOTHING!!! Absolutely nothing! But nice try there.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]“Nobody is suing on those grounds!” he said. “And I’m going to tell you right now, I discriminated on the basis of gender when I was a pastor. I’m going to admit to you right now that I discriminated on the basis of gender.”

Hear that, any woman that worked for this clown. Here is a class action sexual discrimination lawsuit all wrapped up for you. There you go. IOKIYAR again.

How can any woman vote for these troglodytes?

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Jennifer Stefano[/font]

The Koch Brothers and their sycophants are mighty thin skinned people. They get challenged than they pout, whine, cry and attack the messenger. Chris Hayes of MSNBC is the latest to get this treatment. Here's the video, from Mediaite.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Chris Hayes‘ show took a sharp turn Wednesday night when guest Jennifer Stefano, Pennsylvania state director for Americans for Prosperity, accused him of trying to “undercut the voice of a woman” and “making it personal” in his argument with her on the latest Obamacare extension. She raised her voice and scolded Hayes for talking over her, while a stunned Hayes insisted it had nothing to do because of her gender.

That's a neat trick. Put your accuser on the defensive by accusing them of something that easy to accuse, but difficult to refute. Since we don't know Chris Hayes's attitudes (well, we do. It's public record), just go on an irrational rant about something that means absolutely nothing. Stefano goes uber-loon rather quickly.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"How dare you, like Harry Reid, try to undercut the voice of a woman simply because she disagrees with you," she said. "How dare you!"

Hayes seemed very confused at first, and pleaded with her to "just be honest" about why she really "wakes up everyday and thinks about how to destroy Obamacare."

Huh?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"You know nothing about me," she shouted. "You have no idea why I wake up in the morning.... You know nothing about me, you know nothing about my family. You don't know if I was born and raised in a trailer park."

"You have absolutely no idea about me or my life," she continued. "I don't care!"

Again, huh? You don't know why I wake up in the morning? To take a big shit? To take a shower? Maybe to get a good sniff of Folger's coffee and a Bear claw?

Were you born in a trailer park? Does it matter in this context?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"What are you talking about?" Hayes asked several times throughout the interview, even rolling his eyes at one point.

When you figure that out, Chris, let the world know?

So, let's backtrack: According to Jennifer Stefano:

01: Attacking AFP's position on the ACA is shutting women up.
02: She is a woman.
03: Chris Hayes is shutting her up.
04: You don't know me
05: You don't know me again.
06: Obamacare is the devil.

Makes perfect sense. If you're batshit crazy. (oops, a swear word. Hopefully, no one will get offended.)


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Louie Gohmert[/font]

First of all, Lil Louie here is a permanent fixture on this list. He is pure comic gold each time he opens his brainless, empty mouth and burps out turds of wisdom. So, the Top Ten would like to nominate him for the first ever Hall of Fame of Conservative Idiocy. Welcome to the Hall, Louie. You'll have friends soon.

Anyway, the Texas dimbulb goes on Tony Perkins's screechfest to whine and complain about how the evil liberals are taking out their anti-God ideas on Hobby Lobby. See, Hobby Lobby can believe in God because
corporations can believe in God, just like people.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) argued on Wednesday that corporations like Hobby Lobby should be able to legally practice religion — and be able to deny birth control to women — if they were also subject to criminal prosecution under U.S. law.

Yes, imagine waking up every morning to go to church. There's Ms. Johnson. There's Mr. Peters. There's Mr. Hobby Lobby, looking similar and thinner than last week. He must have lost a few bricks on the side.

Watch Hobby Lobby genuflect before entertain the Pew. Then watch Hobby Lobby get on its knees and pray before God.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]During an interview with Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, Gohmert said that he was “shocked” to hear the Obama administration say that corporations could not form religious beliefs during Tuesday’s oral arguments before the Supreme Court.

Okay, anyone notice the change. It went from corporations can legally practice religion to form religious beliefs.

Oh Great Hobby Lobby. Tell us when the rapture is coming. So I can buy a needlepoint of the rapture for $19.95 on aisle four.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]“This is a Justice Department that has indicted corporations for forming intent to commit a crime,” the former Texas judge said. “Well, Tony, if you can as a corporation through your directors and officers, form the intent to commit a crime, then you can certainly, through your officers and directors form an intent to have religious beliefs.”

What. . .wait! This schmuck (oops, a swear word. Hopefully, no one will get offended) was a judge? Really? Truly? Ummm. . .only in Texas I guess?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]“And if every one of your directors and officers has the same exact religious beliefs, whether your Amish and have formed a corporation or any other religious group — Quakers or whatever the group is — certainly a corporation can, if they can have intent as the Justice Department repeatedly proves in court, then they can certainly have religious beliefs.”

Tune in next week when Louie Gohmert tells us that not only corporations find God, but so to buildings, trees, rocks, snails and the occasional Republican caught with a male prostitute and a bag of meth and blow in a cheap motel room.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Ted Cruz[/font]

Ted “Talk” Cruz has been in the news a lot, namely because Ted Cruz loves to talk about anything that makes Ted Cruz more Ted Cruz so people get that good Ted Cruz goodness in their Tex Cruzy Ted Cruz. Today, Ted of Talk is coming to the Top Ten because he believes God loves everyone, so long as you believe, and if you don't believe, God's messengers on Earth can hate your sorry ass.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Tuesday explained to a group of children that atheists in the United States were working to take away their religious freedoms. Speaking at the Network of Iowa Christian Home Educators, Cruz told parents and children as young as 3 that “school choice is the civil rights issue of the 21st century.”

Cruz repeated a conspiracy theory that the Convention on the Rights of the Child would allow the United Nations to take parenting decisions away from Americans. “Nothing in international law, nothing in any treaty should be used as a backdoor vehicle to undermine the rights of every parent here to raise your children consistent with your faith, with your good judgment and the love you have for your children,” he said.

What is this with these poor oppressed Christians? You want oppression? Go to Nigeria and see what Boko Haram does to Christians there. Go to Mali and see what the Islamic fundies near Timbuktu have done. Ted. . .no one taking Jesus away. Well, God did, but you love God. Or some form of God.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The possible 2016 Republican presidential candidate went on to cite a series of cases to assert that atheists were trying to destroy religious freedom in the United States. “We have never seen an administration with such hostility to religious faith,” Cruz opined. “You know, last year, there was a chaplain in the Air Force up in Alaska who wrote in a blog post the phrase ‘There are no atheists in fox holes.’ He was ordered by his supervising officer to take it down.”

That “joke” is always used. There are no atheists on test days in school. There are no atheists when you're waiting for an HIV test result. There's no atheists when two people are in bed about to orgasm. Most of the time, they are scream “Oh God, oh God, take me!”

The word is time and place, Teddy. Spouting a joke like that while in uniform isn't really protocol and the armed forces has the RIGHT and duty to tell that to the G.I.s But what is hard to understand is how the supervising officer and Obama are linked. Did the supervising officer run to Obama, point a finger and tattle on the chaplain? Are you accusing the Air Force of kindergarten, playground tactics? Does that mean I don't have to like you because you have cooties? And wear Skippies. . .and are eleventy-four years old?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]CRUZ: “I guess it was deemed insensitive to atheists. I kind of thought it was the job of a chaplain to be insensitive to atheists.” After a round of applause, the senator added: “To welcome them into the forgiving arms of a loving god.”

Wow. . .look at the hypocrisy. It's okay to be insensitive to atheists so long as they come into the forgiving arms of a loving God. Hmmm. . .if you don't get your Godly fondling, then screw you, I hate you! And so does God. In fact, God told me to hate you.

How about that? Ted Cruz is the new Betty Bowers.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]TD Bank of Cranford, NJ[/font]

Normally, going to a bank is rather painless and mundane. Go in, stand on line, do your work when the clerk calls you, leave. Simple. Services banks provide customers are for all bank customers, and if you aren't a bank customer, there is usually a nominal fee. However, apparently, an atheist's money and business are foul and evil, so TD Bank denied them public notary services.

Yes, you read that correctly. A public notary refused to notarize something because the person wanting the notary was an atheists.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The managing director of American Atheists, Inc. reported on Tuesday that she was refused notary service at a TD bank in Cranford, NJ because of her atheist affiliation.

In a post on Facebook, Amanda Knief wrote, “I was just refused service — because I am an atheist. It was embarrassing, humiliating, and it pissed me off.”

It would piss off anyone. So, now atheist is the new “black.” The US needs another Plessy V. Ferguson. Believer and Atheist drinking fountains, schools, buses, bathroom, banks, notaries. . .WTF!?!?!?!

Please tell us what happened, Ms. Knief.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]According to Knief, she and American Atheists president David Silverman were in the process of getting documents notarized by one of the bank’s notaries public when the woman asked them what the documents were for.

Okay, reasonable. Why do you want the notary done? Most notaries don't ask this question, but maybe it's bank protocol to ask. Who knows? Please continue.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]“The documents were charitable organizations registrations for American Atheists in several states,” wrote Knief. “So I told her what AA is about. She looked down, then looked at me and Dave Silverman and said she couldn’t sign the documents because of ‘personal reasons’ and went to find another notary who was eating his lunch to come do the authentications.”

“Personal reasons” is now the new, right wing way of saying “I don't want to do it because I am a racist, bigoted, intolerant, ignorant, worthless, two faced goober that will hide my ignorance behind anything that doesn't make me look like a complete troll.”

But it serves Ms. Knief right! After all, if she believed in a loving, forgiving God, nothing like this would happen. Because God loves believers and hates those that don't believe. And God told me to hate you for doing the horrible thing of asking “why.”

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Don Smith[/font]

Remember back in the good old days when certain people say in the back of the bus and others were told to speak English or god home. Don Smith of Anchorage remembers. Remember when it was okay to beat the crap out of someone who spoke with a lisp or walked a little light in the loafers? Don Smith remembers. Remember when schools were better. Don Smith does and he know why they suck now. Give you a hint: It's them dang blasted furriners.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]In a wide-ranging interview with Alaska Public Media, Don Smith, 75, repeatedly said immigrants--and in one case special needs students--were diverting the district’s resources away from other children. Smith, a Republican, is running to unseat incumbent Kameron Perez-Verdia in Tuesday’s Anchorage school board election. Smith has served on the commission that drafted the city’s charter, in the state house and in a number of other positions in Alaska government over the years.

It's all dem furriners and retards. If we can just section them off in the schools, life would be perfect. Then we can work on them homosexuals and atheists. After that, the Jews! We need more scapegoats for our failings. It's never us. We can never look in a mirror. It's all dem dang blasted furriners and retards.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Smith’s comments about immigrants and refugees came in response to a question from Alaska Public Media’s Daysha Eaton. Graduation rates have been rising and dropout rates were falling. What was behind that good news and is it sustainable, she asked.

Yes. There has to be a silver lining. Please, maybe you can come out of the skid and put the klanhood away, Mr. Smith. Enlighten us, please.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]SMITH: There’s lots of problems that have been caused by organizations like the State Department that have somehow convinced Alaskans or Anchorage residents to accept two families a month from Africa and Indonesia to come in here totally unable to speak English, and give us the responsibility to try to educate these kids in the school system.

When I was in Anchorage High School, it was about 98 percent white students, and the balance were probably Native and one or two black students. Today we’re 48 percent white, 52 percent other. And that clearly is causing problems. I think our numbers are dropping because we’re importing all these people that aren’t up to the standards that we had set for the school. Consequently, it’s drawn us downward not upward.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . . . . . . . .

While I pick my bottom jaw off the ground, please wrap your brains around his comment. N-bombs, paint wearing savages, non-English speaking foreigners, English speaking foreigners from places like Africa and Indonesia. . .Messicans, latinos, anyone not white. . .it's their fault because we have the responsibility to educate them.

There should be a place where they can go, sectioned off with barred wire and gun turrets that they can become productive members of white society. Maybe a motto over the door. . .something inspirational: Arbeit Macht Frei works.

Don Smith gives his sheet are hard time. Sometimes, he actually sleeps in them.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Ted Cruz Redux[/font]

In the shortest entire this week, Ted Cruz posted a poll on his Facebook (you know, because it's free) asking people if they are better now or before that horror of Obamacare happened.

Results were not as Ted wanted to see.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, there were a few people who said it didn't help them.

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This is the definition of dumbass! Complete dumbass! Someone handed him a knife so he could spite his face.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Ted Nugent[/font]

And finally, look who's back. Ted “Cat Scratch Fever and nothing else. . .Ever” Nugent finishes this week with a bang. And when I say bang, I mean full on racist klansman bang. Not to belabor the point, but he has had the longest 15 minutes in history. I don't want my words to get into the glory that is Ted “I Shit my Pants to get out of Viet Nam” Nugent so let's let him talk. So, come on Ted, tell us some more of your turds of wisdom.

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“Apartheid isn’t that cut-and-dry. All men are not created equal.”

Hmmm. . .so much for that Declaration of Independence idea. Damn Thomas Jefferson commie liberal pinko.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Ted Nugent on black South Africans:

“The preponderance of South Africa is a different breed of man. I mean that with no disrespect. I say that with great respect. I love them because I’m one of them. They are still people of the earth, but they are different. They still put bones in their noses, they still walk around naked, they wipe their butts with their hands. And when I kill an antelope for ‘em, their preference is the gut pile. That’s what they fucking want to eat, the intestines. These are different people. You give ‘em toothpaste, they fucking eat it…I hope they don’t become civilized. They’re way ahead of the game.”

You shit your pants to get out of serving in Viet Nam and screw underage girls because they are just so adorable. Notice the racism. Bone in the nose, eating toothpaste. I'm surprised he didn't say “yep, and them black people also pick through each other's hair and eat the lice they find.” Because you know when he talks about South Africa, he doesn't mean the white people.

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“I use the word nigger a lot because I hang around with a lot of niggers, and they use the word nigger, and I tend to use words that communicate…I don’t mean to offend. I’m a fun guy, not a sexist or racist.”

I use the word motherfucker a lot too. Especially when I am describing Ted Nugent (if a DU member posts they are offended by my use of motherfucker and not his use of the n-bomb,your priorities are really screwed up).

Maybe that's what we should call him from now now. Instead of Ted Nugent, just MF.er. As in “MF.er said another dumb thing.”

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“I mean no disrespect. I’m sure the Japanese are wonderful folks.”

Yeah, I mean, when they aren't, you know, being Japanese or something. I'm sure they are cute. Listen, bozo. . .if you put I mean no disrespect in the front of you words, you mean disrespect and should probably not say it.

Salon has more.

Welcome back, Ted. Now, you and Glenn Champ and Bill Kramer can go out together, find an underage girl, beat the snot out of her, fondle her breasts and have freaky, disgusting 60 year sex with her because. . .hey, Republicans are so full of love, they can't help getting a little of it on you.

Usually dripping down to your ankle.

See you next week.

[dembotoz]

1. k and r

[Demeter]

2. It's just too painful, N2S

Before, the GOP used to be buffoons. Now, they are malware in our society's operating system.

I literally cannot read so much horribleness. It's traumatizing. Good job, by the way.

[lame54]

3. Thank you so much for doing this...

This is what brought me to DU so many years ago

Thanks for bringing it back

[Borchkins]

4. Thanks so much.

This list is why I came to DU way back when. I am SO thrilled to have it back.

I take it someone was offended with the language, eh? Well not me. I loved the colorful descriptions of the despicable people and their actions. Thanks again and keep slipping an offensive word in now and then, sometimes there is no better way to express the disgust!

B

[marble falls]

5. Template? Template! We don't need no stinking template. I cannot imagine being able to do this....

column week in/week out with the freshness you give it. You got a lot more friends here than you think.

[mountain grammy]

6. I love the rant, but should have eaten breakfast first.

I posted "yes, thank you ACA for husband and daughter finally insured," and that was after I read the Ron Shadrix post: "you're a jackass, cruz." and laughed and laughed. in fact, still laughing. For some reason, I find that post sooo funny, reading all the "yes" posts and this one jumps our at you.

[mikeysnot]

7. GOP the gift that keeps giving....

to comedians across the nation....

More swear words please. Don't know how you hold back when discussing these idiots.

[niyad]

8. k and r with a big thank you for this onerous task. (note to self: quit reading this stuff before

breakfast! off to go find the brandy for my nerves)

[Nanjing to Seoul]

9. might need something stronger. everclear, 151 or absinithe.

[niyad]

10. couldn't take the everclear or 151, but the absinthe (if one could find the good stuff) might

work. would not want to waste my armagnac.

[Prophet 451]

11. k&r

[ramblin_dave]

12. I object to the the mofo word...

unless you're talking about conservative idiots.

[Initech]

13. Glenn Champ: only in the American GOP could this shit stain have a chance.

Assault with intent to commit rape? Manslaughter? Multiple weapons possession charges? None of this matters, he found Jesus!

[Nanjing to Seoul]

17. Who Would Jesus Attempt to Rape? Who would Jesus accidently kill?

[Warpy]

14. You're forgiven the occasional indelicacy of language

because there is no way to talk about a snuff juice dribbling pack of pig fuckers of both sexes like this without being a little graphic about the whole thing.

[Scuba]

15. Great list, thanks. In #1 you forgot that the Kochs also own the State Supreme Court!

Oh, and ... Hey Ted ... When I called you a pants shitting motherfucker, I meant the disrespect. Own it you coward.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

16. Boom. . .Scuba with a nice smackdown.