Top Ten Conservative Idiots of the Week #37

[Nanjing to Seoul]

[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Schm-Huckabee Edition[/font]

So we're back for another edition and what a week it was for duck-fuckery. Wingnuts went hogwild in Nevada (2), Florida Government proves its a bunch of gun humping morons (4), Vance McAllister is a huge hypocrite (7) and Rush Limbaugh declares war on Stephen Colbert (1). And as always, don't forget the key.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Mike Huckabee[/font]

Former governor of Arkansas, former president also-ran and current spawn of Satan Mike Huckabee decided to open his mouth and spit out so many turds of wisdom it was hard to keep track. Usually when this dim bulb says something, it's ignored. But this week is an exception.

Deciding to go all out on the “I hate gays” line, Mike of Moronville burped out this homophobic missive.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Delivering the keynote address to the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition, Huckabee said he didn't "care what people do personally in their individual lives," according to CNN.

"I'm not against anybody. I'm really not," he said. "I'm not a hater. I'm not homophobic."

Sure you aren't, buddy. We'll accept that. So when you say their individual lives, does that mean you're for gay people getting married? Hell no . . . so you are a liar and a hypocrite too. Since you want to control who can and cannot get married, you do care “what people do personally in their individual lives."

He didn't stop with that. He decided to double down a little.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]HUCKABEE: But … when people say, 'Why don't you just kind of get on the right side of history?' I said, 'You've got to understand, this for me is not about the right side or the wrong side of history, this is the right side of the Bible, and unless God rewrites it, edits it, sends it down with his signature on it, it's not my book to change.

The right side of the bible? The extreme right side. BTW, does God talk to you? He tells you what's right and wrong. . .and you act accordingly? So, Mike Huckabee, through oratory, or radio broadcasts or just talking out of your former huge fat ass, give God's orders to the rest of the world! Well, meet the prophet from Arkansas! Let's have a book of Huckabee. We will slip you in neatly between Numbers and Deuteronomy. (My apologies to Inherit the Wind fans).

It's like fundies truly believe their Smart Phones have a speed dial hookup to God and God will stop everything and answer them. Those in the God biz truly are completely up their own ass.

But he didn't stop. He went on to attack Obama's christian convictions. You know, because gayo-Americans want to be full citizens with full rights.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"He said it was because of his Christian convictions. Does he have them or does he not?" Huckabee told Ingraham. "If one has them, they don't change depending on what the culture does. You don't take an opinion poll to come up with a new point of view."

He laid out three possible scenarios to explain the president's change of heart: "Were you lying then or are you lying now or did the Bible get re-written?"
Huckabee loves his echo chambers. Fixed Noise, that harpie Laura Ingraham. Jesus said love all as your brother. Nowhere did he said “unless they like to sleep with other men.” Then we can hate them and deny them rights everyone else has. Why doesn't this asshole just move to Uganda already and enjoy the gay bashing there? Oh, I know why. . .too many black people.

So, because of all this gay acceptance, according to Huckabee, North Korea is more free than the US. Yes, you heard that right. A country with gulags, execution through explosion and starving dogs and a place where men in Pyongyang are required to have Kim Jong Un haircuts or face arrest is more free than the US.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Huckabee: "I'm beginning to think there's more freedom in North Korea sometimes than there is in the United States."

He cites the TSA patdowns. This prick didn't mind it when Bush was in office. . .but now he hates it. H.Y.P.O.C.R.I.T.E. Big time!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]HUCKABEE: When I go to the airport, I have to get in the surrender position, people put hands all over me, and I have to provide photo ID and a couple of different forms and prove that I really am not going to terrorize the airplane – but if I want to go vote I don’t need a thing.

BECAUSE, dipshit, VOTING IS A FUCKING RIGHT!!! Riding on an airplane isn't. Which Amendment says you have the right to do that? I do agree with you though. . .the screenings, searches and bullshit is overkill, but your boy Bush and his little sycophant Tom Ridge made it happen, so deal with it. USA PATRIOT Act. Something you supposed, Mikey.

But let's look at his statement. “If I want to go vote.” I am sure, in Pyongyang, people line up around the corner to vote. I hear someone is running against Jabba the Kim next year. His name is “Ai Weil Dai,” because anyone that is suspected of disrespecting the Great Successor dies.

You know, like what happens in the US when the Republicans disrespect Obama. But it doesn't. So if you like North Korea soooo much, Mikey. . .head on over. Enjoy all the freedom a Stalinist regime still fighting the cold war can give you.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Bundy Ranch Idiots[/font]

Okay, so here's the backstory. Some guy in Nevada, let's call him Chump Change, is a cattle rancher using federal land so his cattle can graze. He was hit with grazing fees, but being a good Republican piece of crap that believes in the rule of law, he told the feds to go pound sand. So the feds got a court order to prevent Chump Change from grazing on federal all. All ranchers agreed with the court order. Not Chump Change. Laws are for other people. This was 15 years ago.

So, in the past week or so, the BLM said “enough of this crap” due to the drought and the endangered species in the area. They began to take the cattle by force off federal land, because, as you know, this is called trespassing. So what did Chump Change do? He flipped off the court order again and appealed to idiots like Sean Hannity and Alex Jones and Glenn Beck that see conspiracies when they wipe their asses.

In come the wingnuts, tempers blazing at the federal government for daring to enforce law. Freedumb! Freedumb!!! Li-ber-tee! Freedumb!

To add to the fun, Teabagging militia member have decided to descend upon Nevada and stir up more shit.

So they threaten, refuse to follow court orders, do their best to blame the Feds for following and trying to enforce a court order. Let's repeat that. A COURT ORDER! Because everyone has the right to tell court orders to kiss their ass. Especially if you are a “I hate the government” militia type.

Good news for the Bundy idiots, though. The Feds backed down. So much for the court order.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The dispute less than 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas between rancher Cliven Bundy and the U.S. Bureau of Land Management had simmered for days. Bundy had stopped paying fees for grazing his cattle on the government land and officials said he had ignored court orders.

Anti-government groups, right-wing politicians and gun-rights activists camped around Bundy's ranch to support him in a standoff that tapped into long-simmering anger in Nevada and other Western states, where vast tracts of land are owned and governed by federal agencies.

The bureau had called in a team of armed rangers to Nevada to seize the 1,000 head of cattle on Saturday but backed down in the interests of safety.

Great. Embolden these assholes even more. Why do they use kid gloves with right wing militia members but come down on OWS and left wing protesters with batons and tear gas?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]An Arizona state representative in attendance, David Livingston, said the battle over the Bundy cows would serve as a unifying event for lawmakers across 11 western states working on state sovereignty issues

"This was a major tipping point," Livingston said.

So the next time some nutter screams “Rule of Law,” tell them about Cliven Bundy and his respect for the law. H.Y.P.O.C.R.I.T.E.S. Then fight the urge not to pick up the heaviest object you can find and try to beat the stupid out of them.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Lew Oliver[/font]

The Republicans have a problem. The largest ethnic group in the country, Latinos, tend to vote against them in droves, unless they are Cuban in Florida. Then they vote Republican because they have an axe to grind with Castro because before Castro, they had the power under Batista. Just as Gloria Estefan, whose father was one of Batista's personal bodyguards.

Anyway, Republicans in Florida are beginning to lose their stranglehold on the Latino vote because, as Lew Oliver puts its, too many Puerto Ricans have come to Florida.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The Republican leader of one of Florida's most populous urban centers was asked this week why his party was faring so poorly among voters in the area. His answer was that government-loving "semi-socialist" Puerto Ricans are moving in and changing things for the worse.

The Orlando Sentinel noted yesterday that voter registrations in Orange County, which includes Orlando, had changed significantly since the last election cycle in 2012: Democrats picked up a few thousand new voters, while the GOP actually lost 247 voters. In fact, registered Republicans are now the number three demographic in the region, trailing Dems and voters who registered as "independent" or "no party affiliation"—the fastest-growing segment.

Oh yes. . .semi-socialist Puerto Ricans. You know, American citizens, since Puerto Rico is an American protectorate (can't say colony. The American government isn't imperialistic, wink-wink). So because American citizen chose to live in the Orlando area, things have gotten worse. After all, that bastard Alan Grayson was re-elected. How dare people vote for Grayson? On top of being a liberal, he's a JEW!!!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The Sentinel gave both parties' county chairmen a chance to comment on the new numbers, and the Democratic head offered some banal boilerplate about Republican corruption. But Lew Oliver, the chairman of the Orange County GOP—pictured above with embattled Florida Gov. Rick Scott—went in another direction altogether, blaming his party's performance on new "demographics or national trends"—to wit, self-interested Hispanics with a poor work ethic:

The great grand irony of it all is that the massive predominantly Puerto Rican influx that has accounted for nearly all of this is the result of Puerto Ricans almost without exception fleeing Puerto Rico and other states whose economic opportunities have diminished. What do all those places have in common? Puerto Rico, Chicago, Illinois, New York? Democrat governments. You would think at least of few of them would figure that out. If you like a semi-socialist government where the highest aspiration is a nice secure government job, Puerto Rico is heaven on earth, PLUS nice weather!

***speechless***

Wow! Lazy, shiftless Ricans. Go back to where-ever you came. Damn, anti-American brown people. Why can't you be good Latinos, like Cubans. You know Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. . .thems good. The rest of you. You all suck!

Oliver ended his interview by saying “If those s—cs aren't bad enough, let me tell you about them beaners and wetbacks that are coming into this State.”


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Heather Fitzenhagen[/font]

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Over the objections of the Florida Sheriffs Association, the Florida House has passed a bill that would allow all gun owners to conceal their weapons in public during hurricane evacuations, toxic events, and riots.

Yes, please read that again.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Over the objections of the Florida Sheriffs Association, the Florida House has passed a bill that would allow all gun owners to conceal their weapons in public during hurricane evacuations, toxic events, and riots.

Did it sink in? Now, people can carry guns during Hurricane Andrew style storms and toxic events. Toxic events. I thought the zombie apocalypse would mean that you have to chop their heads off, not shoot them.

Because as we all know, the more guns we have, the safer we are! Just as Gabby Giffords and the people in Littleton and the movie theater in Colorado, Newtown, University of Texas, University of Virginia, and Fort Hood.

The sad thing is this passed 80-36, so more than 2/3s of the legislators voted for the NRA abombination.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The bill, HB 209, which was strongly supported by the National Rifle Association, passed 80-36, according to the Miami Herald. Rep. Heather Fitzenhagen, (R-Fort Myers), who sponsored the bill, called it a win for liberty.

“The bells of liberty are surely ringing throughout Florida today,” she said. “We are making sure that no Floridian in lawful possession of a firearm must leave it behind while evacuating in an officially declared state of emergency.”

Oh, the piousness is sickening. There is a law that says “if you have a gun in an emergency, you must leave it in your home?” Is there? Honestly. This works well.

And it's so popular that the police love this idea. . .well, not quite.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]However sheriffs from around the state opposed the bill, calling it “crazy.” “The bill is crazy, it’s absurd,” said Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri.

Disregarding recent controversies over Florida’s ‘Stand Your Ground’ law, Rep. Jimmie Smith, (R-Inverness), said concerns over the new law are overblown. “Every single time we’ve made changes to protect the Second Amendment rights of people, we hear about this wild wild west,” Smith said. “It’s going to be more dangerous. Shootings everywhere. And yet, we have one of the lowest rates of crime we’ve ever been at.”

What the hell does those communist, freedom hating police know about violence and crime? They just hate the second amendment.

And Jimmie Smith. . .when you say that. . .you tend to forget Trayvon Martin. But he doesn't matter. He's black.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Liz Cheney[/font]


Dick Cheney's succubus of a daughter still infects the airwaves with her bullcrap, trying to save her Troll-under-the-bridge father's legacy. And just like all Republicans, she has Ben-ghasm! Yes, that sexual disorder where Republicans bust a fat nut manufacturing a scandal that doesn't exist and it's there at all.

So, Liz gets on the air and claims that people need to stop investigating torture and investigate Benghazi. Oh no, not this shit again. First, the reason for the banshee wail.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Last week, the Senate Intelligence Committee voted 11-3 to request that the White House declassify parts of an investigation into the CIA’s enhanced interrogation program, whose chief backer in the Bush White House was former Vice President Dick Cheney.

And now her banshee wail.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]SUCCUBUS: If you’re going to say that we should not have conducted the enhanced interrogation program, if you’re going to say that we shouldn’t have waterboarded three terrorists, then you’ve got to say that you’re willing to accept the consequences of that. You’ve got to be willing to say how many American lives would you have been willing to put at risk because you didn’t want to waterboard Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

Wow. We executed the Japanese that waterboarded people after WW2. I guess pandering to fear is good for this crazy loon. I mean, torture did not do anything productive. It was a good recruitment poster for terrorist organizations, but nothing worthwhile was gained for the United States.

Isn't that right, Liz Cheney?

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Please go away now. Just go away. Better yet. . .Hell is calling. They want you to come back, Liz. Figure out the fastest way to there. And take your cyborg daddy with you.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Chuck Gatshenberger[/font]

On every woman's list of things to do comes certain normal activities:

01: Buying a car
02: Finding a good job
03: Looking for a good life partner, depending on your sexual orientation.
04: Having a family, if one should choose.
05: Going to the market when need.
06: Buying carpets.
07: Having an abortion.

Yes, according to Chuck Gatshenberger [R-Idiot], the first and the sixth are similar to the seventh. Buying cars and carpets is the same as abortion. You can pick up your bottom jaw off the ground now.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]A Republican lawmaker in Missouri who is sponsoring a bill that would mandate women seeking an abortion undergo an ultrasound and wait three days for the procedure defended his measure Tuesday, suggesting a woman getting an abortion should treat it with the same deliberation as shopping for cars or carpeting.

Kind of like a cooling off period, huh? Okay. Sounds stupid enough. Makes about as much sense as the legitimate rape comment from Todd Akin.

Please proceed, dipshit!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]State Rep. Chuck Gatschenberger (R) explained to his colleagues on the Missouri House's Children, Families and Persons with Disabilities committee that when he goes to buy a new vehicle, he doesn't just make a snap decision.

"I have to look at it, get information about it, maybe drive it, you know, a lot of different things. Check prices," he said, according to video recorded by Progress Missouri. "There's lots of things that I do putting into a decision. Whether that's a car, whether that's a house, whether that's any major decision that I put in my life. Even carpeting."

Bottom jaw back on the floor. So, let's see. . .to a woman, the decision to have an abortion is as simple as which socks to wear. All abortions are snap decisions. Woman finds out they are pregnant and they run to the pre-natal clinic for an abortion immediately. No thought, no consideration. . .just “get this thing out of me now!” Wow!

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"I was faced with a decision that I didn't have very much information that I knew about," he added. "So I wanted to be as informed as possible, and that's what this bill is. Giving them as much information as possible."

You were faced with an abortion, Chuckie? Wow, due tell. Ripley's would be interested too.

So, let's recap. According to Dipshit here, having an abortion is the same as deciding paper or plastic. And because woman are irrational and will make decisions without thinking, we need to impose a cooling off period so their hormonal urges calm and some man can convince them the sanctity of life is more important than the quality of life.

How can any woman vote for these people? And the war on women continues. Expect Dipshit to introduce a bill next week stating that women are too emotional to buy cars and houses, so the sellers should talk to the closest man first before selling them anything. Because you women folk are just too stupid to breathe.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Vance McAllister[/font]

Entering into the “Party of Personal Responsibility” file, we find #7 on the list. . .Vance McAllister (R-Louisiana). See, he's a good Christain man.

He believes in Jesus, and God, and the flag, motherhood, apple pie, a wife, 2.3 kids, a white picket fence and the ten commandments. Except that commandment that says something about not committing adultery. That commandment is optional, especially when your johnson needs to find something new and you think no one can see you.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Rep. Vance McAllister, who ran on a "faith, family, and country" platform for his freshman term in the House, was caught on video kissing a member of his staff. McAllister, a married Republican from Louisiana, was elected to replace Rep. Rodney Alexander in a special election last November. The video was first posted to the the Ouachita Citizen's website on Monday. Later on Monday, McAllister released a statement "asking for forgiveness."

Whoops. . .well, if David Vitter can buy hookers and wear diapers (another toad from Louisiana), then Vance McAllister can suck face with a staffer behind his wife's back and still call himself a good Christian.

Notice how it works. . .he begs for forgiveness. Democrats need to resign, but Republicans just beg forgiveness and expect to not be held to the standard they set for Democrats. Anthony Weiner was forced to resign for Sexting. . .Eliot Spitzer for screwing escorts. Mark Sanford hikes the old Appalachian Trail, which begins in Maine and ends in a South American woman's vagina, and he gets elected to Congress. David Vitter gets caught with hookers and gets re-elected to the Senate. Amazing the hypocrisy.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]The blurry video — which was seems to be recorded from security footage of McAllister's district office in Monroe, Louisiana on December 23 — shows the Congressman embracing and kissing a woman who has been identified by the paper as one of his aides. Although the video does not contain a clear close up of McAllister's face, reporter Zach Parker at the Citizen explained to the Wire that "we know McAllister. We know what he looks like. I believe he spoke to the Monroe Chamber of Commerce in that same shirt and jacket, too." The Ouachita Citizen notes that they obtained the video through an anonymous source, and identified both McAllister and the aide in question as its subjects. They also recognized the office shown on the video, which previously served as former Rep. Alexander's Monroe district offices.

Don't worry, he ain't going nowhere. The rubes in his district will re-elect him. So the next time you see a 20 year old playboy doing this, just remember. . .that prick in twenty years will be in Congress.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rick Scott and Paul LePage[/font]

A two-fer of one term Teabag Republican governors comes in 8th this week. First, we go back to Florida. Yes, southerners, the Top Ten list is going to bash the South again.

Rick Scott, scumbag par excellent, is a known scam artist, fraud and liar. And he just doubled down on the biggest ACA lie ever told. First, the lie:

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]On Wednesday Scott deflected questions by reporters about the ads, produced by the Pro-Scott political committee Let’s Get to Work. "Clearly, the ad's accurate (sic)," Scott said. He refused to elaborate.

The insurance company that the claim is built around is Florida Blue, which warned last fall that 300,000 of their customers' insurance plans could be canceled through Obamacare because those plans didn't comply with the law.

Okay, more talking points, more bullshit. What's the problem?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]But Florida Blue told the Herald that, contrary to the ads, 300,000 plans had not been canceled through Obamacare.

"To date, most of the members in our pre-ACA plans have kept their plans," Florida Blue spokesman Paul Kluding said.

Okay, so the scumsucking bottom feeder lied. Should we be surprised? The best thing to do is to say “yes, I lied. I'm sorry. I'll do a better job at fact checking.” But not if you're a Republican! If you're a Republican, it's never that. It's always lie, lie about lying, lie to cover up the lie about lying and then attack the messenger as partisan for discovering the lie to cover up the lie about lying.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"We were already told last fall that 300,000 Floridians were going to lose their insurance," Scott said.
When pressed about the ads' 300,000 plans claim, Scott just pivoted back to railing against Obamacare.

"If you look around the state, Obamacare has had an impact on a lot of people's plans," Scott said. "They're losing their doctors. And they're losing the plans."

Keep it up, dickhead. Charlie Crist already has a six point lead.

Up north, in Maine, plurality governor Paul LePage has vetoed Medicaid expansion for the third time, speaking platitudes and acting like an ass. . .you know, Paul LePage at all times.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Though the expansion bill cleared the legislature, it did not pass with enough votes to override LePage's veto, the Portland Press Herald reported, which is also what killed its predecessors.

Medicaid expansion "would have a disastrous impact on Maine’s budget, as well as those truly needy individuals, our disabled and elderly, who rely today on the scarce resources in our program,” LePage said in his veto message. “Maine has been down this road before, and we must learn from previous experience.”

More than 24,000 Mainers have been left without health coverage under Obamacare because the state hasn't expanded Medicaid.

Wow! So much bullshit in so few words. John Kasich, Tom Corbett, Scott Walker, Rick Scott, Pat McCrory, Paul LePage, Rick Snyder. . .please, if there is a God, wake the American people up and vote these douchey bastards out of office in November. Please!

Maybe then we can all repair the damage.


[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]

[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Pat Robertson[/font]

Back on the list for a second week in a row is Pat Robertson. Last week, his racism got the better of him as he decided that stereotypes about Jews makes compelling TV on the 700 Club. This week, God's chosen asshat has decided to ask God for deliverance; basically asking God to remove Obama from office. At least he didn't call for an assassination, just divine intervention.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Pat Robertson today asked God to "deliver" the US from President Obama before it's too late. After implying that Obama is a Muslim, Robertson told 700 Club viewers: "We need to do something to pray to be delivered from this president. He is a disaster, an absolute disaster. Democrat, Republican or whatever, this country is into serious decline unless something dramatic is done about it."

Such sentiments are nothing new from the right-wing televangelist. Robertson has previously suggested that Obama is a "crypto-Muslim" and once during George W. Bush's presidency prayed for God to remove justices from the Supreme Court.

Is it time for another famous Patwa? “God, save the country from Obama. He only enabled nine million people to have access to affordable health care. Please God, make it so. Please! Please, with sprinkles and a cherry on top.”

BTW, what the hell is a crypto-Muslim? A Muslim that worships while watching Tales from the Crypt?

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]While promoting a Christian Broadcasting Network booklet, “Islam: Religion of Peace or War?,” Robertson suggested Obama professed faith in Islam during a 2012 address to the UN General Assembly where he said that “the future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.” In fact, Obama's speech focused on protecting the freedom of speech and religion, and Robertson conveniently omits the president's next line: “To be credible, those who condemn that slander must also condemn the hate we see in the images of Jesus Christ that are desecrated, or churches that are destroyed, or the Holocaust that is denied.”

“Our president is frankly out of his mind, making a statement like that. The future belongs to those who belong to God almighty, not those who believe in this stuff.”

Selective editing to further your point. “Thou shalt not bear false witness.” So much for Pat's godly credibility. Like he ever had any to begin with. Worthless piece of dog vomit!


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rush Limbaugh[/font]

And finally, I know. . .who gives a shit? This fat hog is meaningless and has nothing left except his oxycotin, but when you say something this monumentally stupid, it needs to be laughed at.

Apparently, the Tonnage on Loan from God has his knickers in a twist because Stephen Colbert is going to replace David Letterman on the Late Show in 2015. He's upset that a liberal comedian will take over the late shot from a liberal commentator. Remember, Letterman invited Limbaugh on his show back in 1993 and asked Rush if Rush ever thought He was a bag of hot gas? That David Letterman.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]"CBS has just declared war on the heartland of America," Limbaugh fumed. "No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional American values, conservatism. Now it's just wide out in the open. What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny, and a redefinition of what is comedy. They're blowing up the 11:30 format... they hired a partisan, so-called comedian, to run a comedy show."

What values are those, Pigboy? Comedy is always an attack on the establishment. That's the way it is. Rock, Carlin, Stewart, Pryor, Foxx, Bruce. . .they all attacked the establishment. Only lame ass pieces of crap like Leno, Stine, Miller, Cook and all those unfunny rejects on Comedy Central's roasts don't attack the establishment. You don't like being attacked, stop being such an easy target, Pigboy.

There is nothing more to say. I don't want to waste any more bandwidth on a small time loser like this. The Top Ten is for bigger fish, and by bigger, I don't mean fatter. So I will close by quoting DU member Workinclasszero in his response to Limbaugh's horseshit.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]WORKINCLASSZERO: That filthy stinking rich multi millionaire boil encrusted fat ass fascist draft dodger drug addict serial adulterer hate filled pus bag knows absolutely ZERO about ANY American value, traditional or otherwise

Couldn't say it any better than that.

[flashcloud]

1. Honorable mention

Last edited Mon Apr 14, 2014, 07:53 AM - Edit history (1)

Mary Baker of Conservative Moms for America
Her article called: Gay Supremacy In America

"When white supremacy tried to make a mark in American history it was viciously attacked quickly put down by the people of our nation . But Gay Supremacy is becoming a monster that carries greater evils than white supremacy ever did."

I think I became dumber after reading the first two sentences.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

2. Welcome to DU, and you're not the only one, buddy. Holy jumping fucking shitballs, how did I miss

this nugget of crap?

[yellowcanine]

11. Yes, we stamped out that white supremacy in the Constitution!

Oh, wait,..... Right, we did it during the Civil War! Uh, well ok we tried to, see? And wouldn't you rather be a slave or have to worry about getting lynched than have to worry about your neighbors being a lesbian couple barbecuing in the back yard with their kids?

[doxydad]

3. Best read of my Monday.

THANK YOU, Nanjing to Seoul for this insightful, and honest article. I'm sending it to all my teabagger nutcase pals. (Both of them)... Thanks again.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

4. Doxy, it was an feature of DU for years. Came out every monday. I post this every monday.

Thanks for the compliment and I really enjoy new people reading this.

[davidpdx]

5. So many crazies, so little time

I think that the gal who threw the shoe at Hillary Clinton should be on there as well.

According to her James Holmes is being McVeighed and is innocent. He is also controlling her mind. She is beyond crazy, she is a fucking lunatic bomb waiting to go off. If they don't get her off the street she's going to end up killing someone.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

6. Sometimes I miss a few.

[davidpdx]

8. That's ok

We'll forgive you this time.

[lame54]

7. Thanks

[DiverDave]

9. Dude, you rock

and the # replys just don't show it...
Now back to kitties that make you smile...

K+R again.

[dembotoz]

10. k and r

thank you for your work

[3catwoman3]

12. That is quite the list there...

... and I agree that this "That filthy stinking rich multi millionaire boil encrusted fat ass fascist draft dodger drug addict serial adulterer hate filled pus bag" is a masterful description of Limbaugh.

Thank you to you and WORKINCLASSZERO for some entertaining reading.

[workinclasszero]

13. Great list!

Hey I'm famous!

Thank you good sir/madam and keep up the good work!

[treestar]

15. Any right winger has nerve to complain about TSA operations

I bet he was right there noun verb 911 at the time.