Ellen the DeGenerate: How America's Favorite Lesbian Ruined the Prom

[bondwooley]

If, like us, you are the beneficiary of a primary Catholic school education, you may have some interesting memories of all the things you got from those nuns. Like raps on the knuckles. Curt, abbreviated classes in “science.” Lessons for boys in how to pee without using your hands!

Once, as punishment for giving the wrong answer in Math class, we witnessed a classmate being forced to swallow a tablespoon of salt. (Really. We don’t have photographic proof of that last one; you’ll just have to take our word for it.)

Do you know what we never got from those nuns? An apology.

Well, times change, and lo and behold, all these years later, an apology is just what the kids are getting from the principal at St. Andrew Elementary, a Catholic school in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

And yes, the principal is apologizing for her role in permanently scarring these schoolkids’ psyches.

“We work so hard to be good role models,” wrote principal Nancy Matteo in a school-wide email this week, “and then I go and do something stupid!”

The “stupid” thing she did wasn’t what we were expecting, however.

It turns out that Matteo was apologizing for sending out graduation-dance invitations — with a picture of Ellen DeGeneres on them. Uh oh.

Writing that she was “obviously NOT thinking” when she graced the Oscar-themed dance invites with an image of the world’s most famous lesbian (who has hosted the Oscars twice), this panicked principal sounded practically in tears as she denounced DeGeneres as a “poor role model” who “lives her life outside the teachings of the Catholic Church.” She begged everyone to return “every single invitation” so that she can “personally destroy them” — presumably in her Jesus-brand™ “Christian Love” paper shredder.

It’s not clear if anyone actually complained or if Matteo just had a delayed moment of gay panic. What is clear (to us) is that beloved entertainer Ellen DeGeneres (whose image was surely used without permission) doesn’t deserve this. “Perhaps I was distracted by the Oscar,” Matteo wrote, hilariously attempting to explain her choice of the photo. Those naked statues can be distracting, indeed.

As for us, we’ve just about given up on getting an apology from the people responsible for the traumas in our own Catholic-school childhood. So we’ll just have to take what apologies we can get. Keep ‘em coming, Matteo! Assuming you’re not fired in retribution for your “stupid” mistake, we’re looking crazy forward to what stupid thing you’ll be apologizing for next. What do YOU think it will be?

(Posted by author. Original post, links and poll at: http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/05/29/ellen-the-de-generate/)

[DonViejo]

1. I remember Jerry Falwell calling her...

"Ellen Degenerate" and then denying he had done so. One night Allen Dershowitz showed up on Geraldo Rivera's program (on MSNBC) with a recording of Falwell calling her Degenerate. Falwell stalked out of the studio.

[bondwooley]

6. I'm friends with a "renegade" nun...

who was often pitted against Falwall for debates on talk shows. He was not a happy man.

[Initech]

7. These fundamentalists have a truly twisted mindset.

[randys1]

2. I went to catholic school and ultimately realized the nuns were victims of the sick and twisted

men running that sick and twisted organization...

[Iggo]

8. I got out in the 2nd grade. (Thrown out, actually.)

I was still too young to have figured out they weren't born nuns.

Tell you what, though. When I got to public school, I was easily 2 to 3 years ahead of the other second graders in the three R's. A million years ahead of them in phonics. (Mid-1960's.)

[bondwooley]

9. In second grade

I was the only non-Catholic in a Catholic private school. Long story, but my mother had been excommunicated and my father was protestant. My parents sent me there (and paid of a priest so I could go) because it seemed like the only school in rural Illinois that had a high literacy rate.

In second grade, though, some nun was charged with teaching us kids about Hell. The kids wanted examples of who would go to Hell. The nun's first response was that my parents would qualify for Hell.

I raised my hand and asked if my pet rabbit was going to go to Hell, too.

[eppur_se_muova]

10. Well, don't leave us hanging ! What was the answer ?

I'm seriously worried about my pets' afterlives.

[bondwooley]

11. Woops ....

Sorry, the answer was that my pet rabbit was not going anywhere because it didn't have a soul. That actually freaked me out even more.

I didn't tell this story to my parents until I was in my 20s. At the time, my second-grade mind knew that they would be upset and I suspected that they would do something that would humiliate me even more.

When I finally told them, they pretty much answered in unison: "Why would you believe a nun?"

[eppur_se_muova]

12. Well, I know that's not true of my kitties. :) They are chock-full of kitty soul.

Relieved to hear that one shouldn't pay too much attention to the teaching of nuns. Not that I ever did.

[bondwooley]

13. I'll bet your kitties have more

soul than most nuns who teach in Catholic school.

[scrubthedata]

14. Agreed.

Doesn't justify anything, but does provide a legitimate explanation.

[CTyankee]

15. I go my master's at a Catholic college and I met some very great professors who were

Dominican Sisters...one would hit the gym pool when I did and damn if she didn't strip down naked in the group showers of the women's locker room. The first time it happened I came home and told my husband "Hey, I showered with a naked nun today!" You shoulda seen the look on his face...

[scrubthedata]

17. :-) nt

[CTyankee]

18. She was great...sister Mary Faith...loved her...we'd talk about the Liberal STudes program at the

college. She taught a course in the philosophy dept. on the Origins of Art...I was so damn scared of philosophy I avoided taking it...I told her I woulda taken her course but I had "conflicts." In truth, I was scared shitless about philosophy...

[KurtNYC]

3. "The oppressed oppress" - Socrates, 219 BC

"Same as it ever was. Same as it. Ever. Was." - David Byrne, 1983

[lunasun]

4. She begged everyone to return “every single invitation” so that she can “personally destroy them” —

[bondwooley]

5. Right? nt

[CTyankee]

16. She's out of her mind. Really.

Get. A. Grip.

[Oilwellian]

19. DeGenerate? Really?

Why don't you post her name correctly? The subtle slur isn't all that clever.

[bondwooley]

21. The "slur" is a comment on

what the story is about. Sometimes titles give the reader a heads-up about the topic of an article. In this case, the topic is about (IMHO) a perfectly good role model who is being considered a bad role model because of old-fashioned thinking. Hence, the role model is being considered a "degenerate." And it rhymes with a the name of the object of scorn in the article, which gives further information about the topic of the article and also reduces the number of words in the title.

Sorry if the title offended you. Not saying it's a good title. Just saying that it's an attempt to tell the reader what the article might be about, rather than making a slur.

Why is your screen name Oilwellian? I think that's pretty clever, actually, but it seems to be a pun that juxtaposes two thoughts and gives people a hit at your POV. I don't see how that's different then the title. I'd like to know what I'm missing.

Apologies, however, if your birth name is Oilwellian and you're not trying to use the name to express a POV.

[bigwillq]

22. I'm more offended by "America's favorite lesbian"

They always have to single out gay folks with these labels.

[bondwooley]

23. Let's retitle it...

Maybe there's a better title. I concur that a title that is distracting is not a good title.

How about "Successful, globally recognized and respected woman's image with a copyrighted statuette is photoshopped into a grade school dance invitation and the photoshopper recalls the invitation not because of the improper image use but because the successful woman's sexuality is deemed by the photoshopper's spiritual leaders as improper and therefore could psychologically damage the invitation's recipients ."

I'll change it. Looking for suggestions.

[fayhunter]

20. By all anecdotal accounts

that I've heard, these schools have improved in terms of pedagogy. They were always pretty good with thorough teaching. But I do know a lot of people who could use an apology.

[pnwmom]

24. I went to a Catholic high school run by nuns like the Nuns on the Bus,

who crossed the midwest in a bus to bring attention to the need for the ACA, and to speak out against Paul Ryan.

So this person speaks only for himself, not all Catholics.

[bondwooley]

25. Can anyone speak for all Catholics?

I'm not being sarcastic. I think it's a good question. The Pope is supposed to speak for all Catholics, of course, but there are many examples (like yours) where that falls apart. It's no more true than Paul Ryan speaking for all Republicans or Barack Obama speaking for all Democrats.

[pnwmom]

28. No. But the person who wrote the article in the OP thinks s/he can.

"If, like us, you are the beneficiary of a primary Catholic school education, you may have some interesting memories of all the things you got from those nuns. Like raps on the knuckles. Curt, abbreviated classes in “science.” Lessons for boys in how to pee without using your hands! "

The same thing can be said for people who went to public school. My husband was hit by a teacher when he was in first grade. Hitting was also legal in my state.

I think people especially blame some nuns of that era because all the talk of Love didn't fit with how some of them treated kids. At least in public schools no one talked about love when they hit you.

[bondwooley]

29. Okay

I guess saying that the "same thing can be said for people who went to public school" is less of a generalization, somehow.

Agreed that the contradictions between love/violence in Catholic school made things hard for kids to navigate and sort out (psychologically), but I hope you're not saying that violence was acceptable (psychologically) in public schools because there was no contradiction.

That would be like saying rape is okay as long as the rapist is mute and doesn't say it's for your own good. I find that reasoning very faulty.

[pnwmom]

30. I'm not saying that at all. It was wrong wherever it was done.

But I don't think it was more common in Catholic schools than in public.

[TeeYiYi]

26. Your OP is old news and your headline is trite. ..nt

TYY

[bondwooley]

31. Yeah, the headline is trite.

That seems to be pretty unanimous.

It never occurred to me that something that happened a week ago and has only been picked up by a couple local news outlets could be considered outdated. I guess that's a subjective opinion, though. I consider Benghazi outdated but apparently many people don't. I consider policies from the FDR administration currently relevant, but many people don't.

[TeeYiYi]

32. "...only been picked up by a couple local news outlets could be considered outdated."...

...AND democraticunderground.com while it was still news: http://sync.democraticunderground.com/10024983339

re: It never occurred to me that something that happened a week ago and has only been picked up by a couple local news outlets could be considered outdated. I guess that's a subjective opinion, though. I consider Benghazi outdated but apparently many people don't. I consider policies from the FDR administration currently relevant, but many people don't.

TYY

[bondwooley]

33. I hadn't seen that on DU.

So I stand corrected that it was only on a few news outlets.

Perhaps what's bothering you is that the post you referenced is a nearly verbatim clip from the article referenced in it while this OP attempts to have a POV that (successfully or unsuccessfully) highlights the absurdity of the story.

Maybe I didn't get the memo that OPs should only recite summaries of previously reported stories and that authors should not include a POV that might open conversation.

Oh well. I've been misunderstanding DU all these years. I thought it was supposed to encourage conversation and opinion. Personally, I think that a Google watch list could replace DU if that's everyone's attitude.

[TeeYiYi]

34. Look, Charlie...

You called Ellen Degeneres a 'degenerate' in your subject line and used a 10-day-old story as an excuse to do so.

Not clever. Not appreciated.

TYY

[klook]

27. Can I just say,

as middle-aged straight white guy who doesn't dance very well,

[font size="+3"]Ellen DeGeneres is high on my top 10 all-time coolest Americans list.
[/font]

I would be thrilled if her picture were on my kids' prom announcement.

[bondwooley]

35. And rank her up in the top 20

in spite of what everyone thinks I'm trying to convey in this article.

[bhikkhu]

36. I'm straight and didn't go to prom, and have a lot of respect for Ellem DeGeneres

And the people running the school there are certainly out of line. Plenty of other school administrations are probably similarly boneheaded stupid and backwards, in a way damaging to kids at a time when they are most vulnerable.

But I have to say - I spent 1st through 8th grade in a Catholic school, run by an order from Ireland. They were genuinely good people, and I have nothing but good memories. The standard of education was excellent, but, more importantly, they were very open-minded and kind, and I think the greatest lessons I learned (really learned) there were compassion, patience, and love for people regardless of race, class and gender.

I argued in religion class and refused the sacraments, stopped going to church as soon as I was old enough, and yet I was accepted and graduated with honors. My 8th grade teacher was the senior nun there, and she was a wonderful person I learned a great deal from. I spoke with her a few years back. 28 years out of school, she was happy to see me and we sat and had an afternoon talking - her about her spiritual journey, and about all the kids she remembered and how they were doing, me about science and learning, and how things were with me. In spite of our continuing differences, we had a fine conversation finding common ground and talking about how people work towards the same goals out of the same kind of goodness, but in different ways...she was truly a wonderful teacher.

I know not everyone had the same kinds of experiences in Catholic school, but I just had to stick up for the school I went to; it was excellent, and I wish that the schools my children went to now had the same kind of teachers, with the same willingness to live as examples and to give their all for the kids.

[bondwooley]

37. I'm glad you shared this

because it's important. It's important to know that there can be two sides to Catholic school. I had two sides in the one I went to. Until 8th grade, every nun was either physically or psychologically abusive. Things that an adult could handle, but not a kid. In 8th grade there was a Sister Estelle. I'll never forget her. She was mean, on some levels, but earned respect. She saw what kids needed in terms of education and provided it. I had high ambitions for an 8th grader and she helped me realize them.

For better or worse, she was an exception in my experience with Catholic school. But a valuable exception. I think about her often. I'm sure she's not with us any longer, but I wish I could meet with her.

Nothing is black and white (except, perhaps, the the costumes those nuns wore). There's good an bad. I hope that the good is winning.