General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDU folk really need to read this re: Molestation in Philly:
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/20111220_Four_say_Philly_Daily_News_writer_Bill_Conlin_sexually_abused_them_as_children.html?cmpid=125219969It's in four Parts...it is, as I had posted when the Sandusky case broke, COMMONPLACE...it is NOT "RARE" as some would have you believe...
The typical offender is male, begins molesting by age 15, engages in a variety of deviant behavior, and molests an average of 117 youngsters, most of whom do not report the offense.
From:
http://www.yellodyno.com/html/child_molester_stats.html
MrSlayer
(22,143 posts)And then I came up with an incredibly crude "When I'm King of the World...." joke. Seriously though, this is stunning. I've been reading Conlin since I was a kid and hearing this about him is like like hearing it about a friendly neighbor. Horrible if true.
hlthe2b
(102,211 posts)and the intensity of its self-protective instincts-- has so much in common with the Catholic church hierarchy that I don't know how any could be really surprised. Add to that the machismo that they perpetuate...
A lot of sunlight needs to be shined on these "institutions"...
justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)PCIntern
(25,519 posts)it wouldn't surprise me if they all know about each other as well.
Conlin is/was a very big deal in the sports world here in Philly and the suburbs...
justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)I'm not a big sports writing fan.
It makes me wonder if there wasn't a ring of some sort where they passed kids around (horrible thought, I know).
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)HOW creepy is this comment from Nov. 11 in the context of today's news?
"People who say they would have pounded the snot out of Jerry Sandusky had they been alerted by the alleged shower-room assault will remember Kitty Genovese . . . Everybody says he will do the right thing, get involved, put his own ass on the line before or after the fact. But the moment itself has a cruel way of suspending our fearless intentions..."
http://articles.philly.com/2011-11-11/sports/30387518_1_penn-state-trustees-paterno-joepa
redqueen
(115,103 posts)was what caused people not to take any action to aid Kitty Genovese. There were many people around, so everyone was able to tell themselves that surely someone else would help.
Not anywhere near the case in this situation.
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)"People like to talk tough about what they 'woulda' done in that situation, but I've diddled kids and know when push comes to shove, even some of the angriest parents would just prefer to pretend it didn't happen..."
PCIntern
(25,519 posts)rough stuff...
lunatica
(53,410 posts)If this type of activity was exposed more many of us would be able to save ourselves years of shame. Sexual abuse of children is turning out to be much more prevalent than formerly thought. And the reason it happens so much is because it's all kept a big shameful secret. It happened to me when I was six. And it's still difficult to admit it because people will think it was my fault.
PCIntern
(25,519 posts)probably enacted by male troglodytes...speaking as one, I can say that.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)limitations. However, it was not retroactive.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)If the whole idea is that there should be no statute of limitations, why refuse to prosecute older cases on the basis of an idea that you're saying now is wrong?
Something stinks.
melissaf
(379 posts)That's what's happening in Syracuse, or rather *isn't* happening, with Bernie Fine: two of his accusers are reporting abuse past the statute of limitations, so the state can't prosecute. Even though the DA thinks the accusers are "credible."
alcibiades_mystery
(36,437 posts)This part really got to me: one victim's father discussing his confrontation with Conlin 40 years ago:
Hasson said he did not learn the full extent of the assault until about two years ago, when his daughter spoke to him about it in a therapy session.
"For somebody to do that - the son of a bitch," Hasson said, starting to choke up. "That's probably the worst thing you can do to somebody. Back then, I would never even think that anyone could ever do what she said he did."
When he confronted Conlin and Conlin started to sob, Hasson said, "it was such a pitiful sight. It took the fight out of me. I wish now I had done something more, but he swore to me, and I believed him."
Even so, Hasson said, he kept his daughter away from her uncle after that. "I said, 'Never come back to Margate. Never touch her again.' "
As the father of a young daughter, this makes me absolutely fucking crazy.
justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)He believed his brother but insisted he stay away from his kids. Which tells me he didn't really believe his brother at all and probably just wanted the whole thing done with.
I can tell you as a daughter of a father who was told his child was molested, the worst thing you can do to your daughter is not believe her. It erodes all trust between the daughter and father. If you tell someone who is suposed to protect you that you don't believe they need protecting... well, you can imagine what that does to your self-esteem.
I'd say the reason it takes so long for people to tell their stories to parents and others is that it takes a lot of courage to crawl through the shame of the act to be able to talk about it. And when you finally build up that courage and then are told it can't be true--it sucks on so many levels.
alcibiades_mystery
(36,437 posts)In just 40 years time, there has been a monumental change in the way we view and handle such charges. The end of the story (on the boy and three girls in Conlin's neighborhood) is astounding, but only by today's standards. Things were largely handled precisely that way 40 years ago. I mean, a father of a molested girl called Conlin and told him, essentially, to cut it out. The three mothers of molested children decided not to call the police, "out of loyalty" to Conlin's wife! This is precisely how such issues were handled all over the country, probably until quite recently.
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)trumped a lot of common sense in those days
RobinA
(9,888 posts)I'm a female and I have never been molested, so I can't speak with complete confidence, but I have a hard time imagining myself coming forward with something like this given the over the top press coverage that goes on today. I think I'd elect to deal with it in private than face a firing sqad of cameras on my way to court.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)And it's not so different now. It's only even possible to be handled differently if the kid speaks up, and many don't.
The silence needs to end.
http://www.wfaa.com/sports/dale-hansen/Dale-Hansen-Thank-God-for-Kids-135840468.html
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)heartbreaking.
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)I've read Conlin for a lot of years...
But I am glad more and more people have had newfound courage to step forward and expose the evil done to them (including the disgusting Boston Red Sox case)
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)the veil of silence on this is breaking...
Initech
(100,060 posts)This is becoming scary... Like really scary.
SoCalDem
(103,856 posts)People always react with horror when they find out, and they wonder how the coach, scout leader, youth minister, camp counselor, teacher, etc could have done such a thing.
Pedophiles SEEK OUT occupations that keep them close to kids. Jobs with kids have a built-in "protection" for pedophiles, since they tend to be serial abusers, and rely on a self-replenishing supply of "new ones", as the older ones move on in their lives.
Most of these predators prefer pre-pubescents because they are less likely to resist or to "tell", and if they do tell, they are less likely to be believed.
Our society demands obedience to these figures, since we entrust our kids to them in exchange for their expertise in whatever their job-title indicates.. "Listen to the coach../do what he tells you".. "The teacher is always right", etc.
Pedophiles are very deliberate in their obsessions, and the plan everything out to the nth degree. They are not the creepy guy in a raincoat..They are friends, relatives, trusted community leaders.
Watch your kids and go to all their practices, and teach them at an early age to NEVER be alone with male adults. This may seem harsh, but we are only really talking about a few years of their lives.. 5 to 10 would be my choice of the biggest danger years. Once a kid gets past 10 or so, they tend to be more ready to object (for a first attempt)..and to tell someone about the creepy guy.
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)He used his foundation to deliberately exploit disadvantaged boys from broken homes, who were desperate to have a positive father-figure in their lives...There's already an emotional/psychological bond and the kids feel indebted before the abuse even starts
Initech
(100,060 posts)There's literally *NO* good defense for what he did, and every time he opens his mouth to try to justify the whole thing he makes it worse. And the media is playing along like it's ok!! It isn't!!
Initech
(100,060 posts)I'd definitely make sure they were protected from these scumbags. The Jerry Sandusky thing really opened my eyes to this kind of crap. And how poorly he's handling it really says a lot about our society.