McCamy Reports: GOP House Takes Aim at Its Own Foot in Advance of This Falls Election!
Proving that they are truly the party of conservatives*, the House GOP has decided to borrow from the Newt Gingrich 1998 election play book and file a lawsuit against President Obama, charging that he has overstepped the bounds of his office.
“Are you willing to let any president choose what laws to execute?" asked House Speaker John Boehner. "I mean sure, the Department of Justice gets to decide which laws to enforce and who gets prosecuted----" The rest of his words were muffled as the Sock which was once used to silence GOP pit bull and watermelon serial killer Rep. Dan Burton was stuffed into the Speaker's mouth by Majority Whip McCarthy.
"Don't pay any attention to the man behind the sock," said Rep. McCarthy. "We decided not to impeach, because Democrats were raising too much money using the 'I' word. Plus, we found out that impeachment hearings are held in the House, and frankly, we've got better things to do with our time this fall than be in Washington."
The Republican's strategy, says a beltway insider who asked to remain anonymous, will borrow from the Ken Starr play book. The House's team of powerhouse lawyers will issue subpoenas for everything they can think of and then attempt to trip witnesses up in accidental perjury. "We call it Tar Baby II. Once enough people find themselves behind bars because they couldn't remember the meaning of the word 'is', someone will roll over and testify against Obama. And Hillary, too."
When asked to comment, Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich shook his head and muttered something about history classes being underfunded before limping off. "It's that old foot injury," explained an aide. "The one he got in 1998 when he took aim at Clinton and shot his own big toe, instead. It always acts up around midterms."
Democrats are said to be delighted at this turn of events.
"We were getting worried that we were gonna have a real midterm election this year," said James Carville. "In an ordinary midterm election, the party out of power always gains seats in Congress, because the folks that like the president stay home. But if you put the president's name on the ballot---say by impeaching him for having sex or suing him for doing his job---then the president's supporters show up to give him a thumbs up."
*"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward." FDR
McCamy Reports: Because Truth is Stranger Than Fiction 
